If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?
Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse
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Narrated by:
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Virginia Wolf
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By:
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Avery Neal
About this listen
Are you a victim of subtle abuse?
Are you always the one apologizing? Constantly questioning and blaming yourself? Do you often feel confused, frustrated, and angry? Aware that something isn't right about your relationship, but can't put your finger on what it is?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're not alone. Nearly half of all women - and men - in the United States experience psychological abuse without realizing it. Manipulation, deception, and disrespect leave no physical scars, but they can be just as traumatic as physical abuse. In this groundbreaking audiobook, Avery Neal, founder of the Women's Therapy Clinic, helps you recognize the warning signs of subtle abuse. As you are able to identify patterns that have never made sense before, you are better equipped to make changes.
An expert in the field, Neal has guided countless individuals to regain their self-esteem, their joy, and their lives. From letting go of fear to setting boundaries, whether you're gathering the courage to finally leave or learning how to guard against a chronically abusive pattern, If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? will help you enjoy a happy, healthy, fulfilling life, free of shame or blame.
©2018 Avery Jordan Neal (P)2018 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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The Happy Stepmother
- By: Rachelle Katz
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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Anger Management Workbook for Men
- Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions
- By: Aaron Karmin MA
- Narrated by: Brett Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinical therapist Aaron Karmin teaches you the skills to manage your anger without aggression and build up your self-confidence, self-control, and self-respect. The Anger Management Workbook for Men goes beyond why men get angry and helps you get to the root of your anger. It gives you positive and productive anger management tools to strengthen the most important and most overlooked relationship in your life - your relationship with yourself.
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just not good at all.
- By brian gregory on 06-02-22
By: Aaron Karmin MA
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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Recommended as your first book on narcissists
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A good review of the PA type man
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Controlling parents
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In How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved, Sandra L. Brown, MA, describes eight types of dangerous men, their specific traits, and characteristics. She explores victim's stories that tell how they came in contact with each type of dangerous man and their outcome. Brown then presents how to develop a defense strategy - how to spot, avoid, or rid themselves of this type of dangerous man. With these tools, Brown shows women how they can spot and avoid patterns of engagement with dangerous men.
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Females
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A Godsend!! Just what I needed!
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In The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships. This is a book you will turn to again and again for inspiration and insight, while professionals will find it an invaluable reference work.
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Punch To The Gut
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The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
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The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world's leading experts on the subject, shows us what emotional abuse is and what to do about it.
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Amazing SELF GROWTH
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Healing Your Emotional Self
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Parents act as a mirror to show a child who she or he is. Throughout childhood there will be other mirrors, but children inevitably return to the reflection in that original mirror in order to determine their goodness, importance, and self-worth. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engle offers her highly effective Mirror Therapy program to help you reject the distorted images your parents either intentionally or unintentionally projected onto you.
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Narrator was difficult to listen to
- By celebchatter on 05-11-23
By: Beverly Engel
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Who's Pulling Your Strings?
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- By: Harriet Braiker
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Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, New York Times best-selling author of The Disease to Please, explains how depression, low self-esteem, chronic anger, and feelings of helplessness are often the result of being caught in relationships with manipulative people - including family members, friends, coworkers, and associates. More importantly, she arms listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to understand and identify manipulative personalities and to free themselves from the bondage of relationships with them.
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Phenomenal eye opener
- By Karthik on 12-17-21
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Toxic Parents
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- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
What listeners say about If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Primetime
- 11-28-23
Absolutely What I Needed!
This book is exactly everything I needed to hear, learn, and know. Wow! It is as though the author wrote my life story. I have read countless books on abusive relationship and self help. This book is by far one of the best! I am so grateful for the hard truth on how awful I have allowed myself to be treated in my marriage. No more! I deserve better! Ms Avery, I can't thank you enough!!! This book is a gift to all women and I HIGHLY recommend it. I came across this book at the right time. Every woman should read it!
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- Coco
- 10-21-23
28 year old male just out of a engagement.
loved it. should be recommended and put in a form for kids and teenagers to read, should be apart of graduating high-school. I think this book not only helps people notice abuse but it can show them how this world and economy works and can translate what this book says into a masterclass for young people.
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- Leah Brake
- 12-17-20
informative
helped me put things into perspective, very insightful in my opinion, very good listen to.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Erica Butler
- 06-25-24
I plan to listen to this again!
Author shared relatable stories which gives the reader/listener a visual of what “ subtle abuse” looks like in various situations. I also enjoyed the journal prompt and the mindfulness thinking.
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Overall
- Kyleena
- 06-01-20
Desperate to be loved
This is probably one of my favorite books that truly details the nature of an abusive relationship. Themes like core wounds, the inner child are among some of the useful things discussed. The book really opened my eyes to the fact that one's desperation to be loved can become more important to a person than their being abused. I learned a lot about my own psychology reading this book. Towards the end of the book, there is advice for mothers to give daughters to help them recognize red flags early on rather than later on. That was also very helpful! A solid book from start to finish.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Karen Harris
- 03-12-24
Concepts presented well, but…
I thought it was well written and presented. Although, by the title, I thought there would be more focus on the subtleties of manipulation in abusive relationships. There was much mention of more overt, abusive tactics. The biggest oversight was leaving out a chapter on raising sons. It is understood how to train daughters to avoid such relationships is important. But what about protecting our sons from predators and also how does being in the family dynamic as a son affect their future relationships with women? Definitely a missed opportunity.
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- Laureen K
- 09-18-20
Please keep politics out of a Self Help book.
I was really looking forward to listening to this book. However, when in the forward digs were made at certain political figures I decided it was not for me. I would like to listen to the message without politics being interjected.
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