The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
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Narrated by:
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Debbie Mirza
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By:
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Debbie Mirza
About this listen
The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
These people are well-liked; they are often the pillars of the community. Parents, spouses, bosses, and friends who are covert narcissists come across as the nicest people. They can be spiritual leaders, they are moms who bring over casseroles to needy people, they are the bosses who everyone loves and feels so lucky to work for.
These relationships are incredibly confusing and damaging. They leave you questioning your own sanity and reality. Even though they are treating you terribly, you wonder if you are the problem, if you are the one to blame. You are filled with constant self-doubt when it comes to these people in your life. When you are around them, you feel confused and muddled inside. You have a hard time seeing clearly.
These relationships can bring you to a state of deep depression and complete depletion of energy. You may wonder if you will ever see clearly and heal from these destructive and debilitating relationships.
This audiobook will give you hope that you can heal and feel alive again, or maybe for the first time. You will learn what the traits of a covert narcissist are, as well as how they control and manipulate. Your eyes will open, and your experience will be validated. You will also learn ways to heal and actually enjoy life again.
Debbie Mirza uses decades of her own experience with covert narcissists as well as her years of practice as a life coach who specializes in helping people recover and heal from these types of relationships.
©2017 Debra Mirza (P)2018 Debra MirzaListeners also enjoyed...
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
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By: Elaine N. Aron
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Codependent No More
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
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Loving People
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
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By: John Townsend
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Super You
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
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By: Emily Gordon
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The New Codependency
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In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. In The New Codependency, she clears up misconceptions, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.
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Please offer with different narrator
- By Janie on 11-12-09
By: Melody Beattie
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Toxic Parents
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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The Good Fight
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Hosts of the award-winning Whine Down podcast, Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin explore the raw and real moments of their marriage - what it means to love, to fight, and to sincerely forgive - with spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.
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Could’ve been a short article and not a book
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By: Jana Kramer, and others
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When Good People Have Affairs
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A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She leads listeners through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity, and identifies 17 types of affairs, helping listeners figure out which type they're in and what it means.
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This book condones affairs
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
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Friendship. Simplicity. Love. Value. Faith. Solitude. Money. Fear. Hope. Purpose. Dr. Meg Meeker has seen mothers struggle with these 10 issues for the past 25 years, and she has also learned how to help them live less stressful, happier, more fulfilling lives. The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers will show women how to reduce loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by inspiring women to embrace more positive emotions and habits.
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Recommend the book but had hard time listening to
- By Kaletra Dispennett on 12-25-16
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Good content, but to much repeat
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Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
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If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
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Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
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What listeners say about The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Lisa Truthseeker
- 03-14-19
ON POINT, BEST for a CN survivor
Im a 30 yr survivor to a white collar CFO. This book will RESONATE SO MUCH, YOUR JAW WILL DROP......SHE GETS IT!!!!! Not only does she get it, she understands many of the feelings we are left with, and how strong and intelligent we are.
The majority of us are EMPATHS to a degree, she recognizes this, and why. She understands the encouragement we need,and how alien we feel, having most everyone desert us. She notes abandonment, emotional abuse at a soul level( simular to occult).
I found this book last year, and have listened to it a couple dozen times, it is my first referral on CN abuse. I bought 5 books on CN"s with high reviews, but this book resonates above them!
Ive been in a divorce for 6 years now, as you can imagine he lies, hides, forges, you name it!!! DONT UNDER ESTIMATE A CN, THEY WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU FALL IF YOU TRIP.
I lived in the fog for 24 years, getting a glimps here and there when I had the time for proper sleep and nutrition. I raised 4 children, gave up my nursing career, my horse of 18 yrs, my inheritance.
He was gone 12-14 hrs m-f ( apon questioning an ex co-worker of 10 yrs., I found out he had 20 hrs a week somewhere between the office and home. He even left work at noon on fridays!). He cashed in vacation time, didn't deposit dividends, had secrete accounts, and had a po box for 17 years!!!
Dear ones, what ever you were acused of your CN did or still does. Mine stole, lied, cheated, forged, played tricks, moved my things arround, did things to make me question my sanity, memory etc. He laughed at me behind his mask. It was all a game and Narcissit supply to him, he never loved me, and even spent dividen money that I came into marriage with. He gladly took gifts from my family with smiles.
YOU CAN NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING A CN SAYS, THEY ARE MONSTERS WHO SET YOU UP TO FAIL AND POINT OUT BEHIND YOUR BACK ANY OF YOUR OOPS TO ANYONE THEY CAN TO DEVALUE YOU FUTHER. THEY WILL HAVE EVERYONE BELIEVING YOU ARE CRAZY, AND OR A HO, OR ANY MIRRORING OF WHAT THEY DO.
MY DISCOVERIES ON HIS ABUSES, AND ALL THE POISONINGS WE'VE BEEN UNDER SHOCKED EVERY NERVE IN ME. I DIDNT SLEEP ONE SLEEP CYCLE FOR 9 MONTHS! FIBROMYALGIA FOUND ME AND HASNT STOPPED (6 Yrs now). CPTSD, DEEP DEPRESSION, INSECURITY, DOUBTS, AND UNABLE TO TRUST. SEEMS UNFAIR' RIGHT....
BUT I FIRMLY BELIEVE I WILL OVERCOME ONCE I CAN CUT ALL TIES AND MOVE INTO NATURE. I KNOW I WILL BE OF USE TO MANY WHO WILL COME OUT AND SEEK SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE. I BELIEVE THAT WE KEEP COMING BACK TO EARTH UNTIL WE LEARN AND LIVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. AS EMPATHS WHO COME OUT FROM LONG TERM CN ABUSE, MAY BE ABLE TO GRADUATE!!! IF WE CAN FORGIVE ALL AND COME TO UNDERSTANDING THAT WE WERE ALL BORN INNOCENT. PARENTING AND MARRIAGE HAS NO CONCRETE MANUALS.
CUT YOUR LOSSES AND TIME INVESTED, THE KIDS WILL ALSO BE IN PAIN WHEN THEY FIGURE THE CN OUT, TREAD LIGHTLY.
MINE WONT NEGOTIATE EVEN FOR 50% OF CASHING ASSETS. NOTHING YOU DO WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH.
BUT I KNOW WE ARE STRONGER, SMARTER AND WISER THAN WE CAN BE OPEN TO AS WE HEAL IT WILL BE REVEILED. UNTIL WE SPEND SOME TIME AND DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE CN WE WILL STAY DRAINED. WE CAN FIND RECALL OUR POWER AND ENERGY IF WE MEDITATE AND GO WITH IN.
THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY, YOURS ONLY, NARROW IS THE PATH. YOU KNOW YOU WERE KEPT BUSY AND ISOLATED FROM ANYONE WHO COULD SEE THE RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS. IT IS TIME FOR YOU NOW, TO GET YOU BACK. LEARN TO GO WITH IN, AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR STRENGTH!
💕 THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE STILL INSIDE AND THERE WILL BE MANY TO NURTURE THAT WILL COME OUT OF THEIR CN FOG.
It seems as each year passes, there are more victims. In these current times there are monsters in all levels of law and government. Many will be betrayed. Get this book and start resonating, start healing.
I also found working on "THE INNER CHILD" helpful on forgiving myself and others. Louse Lynn Hay (Hay house publishers) has helped hundreds of thousands over audio. She had over come sex abuse, cancer and husband betrayal in the 60s ad 70s. She had become a NY run way model (had nutrition issues).
She has passed, but left a legacy of healing. I found her grandma type loving voice nurturing💕
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53 people found this helpful
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- Maja Crnogorka
- 04-23-19
Epiphany,revelation and an emotional resurrection!
I read this book after first reading (listening) "Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself". The Covert Passive- Aggressive Narcissist" book felt like a more perfectly flowing, and a more concise summary of the aforementioned book.
This book has brought be an emotional and spiritual revelation as well as a resurrection into a whole new realm of self-awareness. This book has helped me heal. I wish this experience on all of you.
PS/ I have bought hard copies to gift to those in need. You cannot absorb this healing knowledge and not feel the need to share it with others.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 05-07-19
excellent read for survivors
I had been searching for years to figure out my ex. I never could put my finger on the problem because he never fit the narcissist narrative. I knew he was passive aggressive because none of his emotional abuse was direct, it was all done indirectly or completely behind my back. This book opened my eyes and also and put me on the path to trusting people again.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Carlos G.
- 04-01-20
tears
after two years of understanding nothing... of suffering.. of avoiding paying attention to the signals that my body sent me from almost minute one (did not know how to by then...), then I magically landed into this book. when the pupil is ready -and not before- the teacher comes. listening to the preface made a lot of tears come out. now I know what happened. my healing started when the book ended. thanks Debbie. your goal was met with me.
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- James Konoplisky
- 05-09-20
This is one of several good books I have heard.
This was a decent book that further rounded and enlarged my knowledge on this subject and behavior, in myself, and in others, because of the slant it presents, I came to recognize some of these traits and behaviors in myself as well, a disturbing realization, but ultimately one that will benefit my personal emotional development. I have come to suspect that I functioned as a covert narcissist, in a relationship with a primary and secondary pair of narcissists! how messy is that! It really does help to do an emotional post mortem though, if, you are not a truly evil person, I think you naturally want to awaken, learn, and grow, regardless of your label or diagonosis, we can all change to some extent, but we have to be aware first.
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- Jules
- 07-05-20
Exceptional Healing Resource
This is a book that seems best absorbed by listening to the audio version. Not just because of the pleasantly calming voice but also since the author feels like she's speaking directly to the soul of the reader/listener (survivor).
Much Gratitude for a much needed healing tool.
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- Penny
- 05-04-19
Validation
Good read It gives great in depth look at an inside perspective of covert narcissism!
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- Nova C.
- 11-15-19
Debbie saved my life
this book saved my life. i dont know how else I can describe it.
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- K. A. M.
- 07-06-19
Life Changing & Freeing!
Thank you so much for the courage and caring to put your research on this topic in book form. Your willingness and thoughtfulness to share this with those who have gone through and are still experiencing this toxic and abusive behavior is so commendable. I have never heard of the terms emotional abuse, or cognitive dissonance before in my life, but these 2 terms are truly causing me extreme freedom. I have truly learned a lot from this book and will continue to research this behavior. I am no longer in the relationship with my CN. I am on the journey to healthy healing and my safe place. I look forward to reading your book, The Safest Place Possible. Thank you again, Kimberly
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- “V”
- 06-20-19
Finally a book I can really relate to
I’ve read several books, trying to pinpoint the exact issue, is he narcissistic, verbally abusive, am I codependent??? Hmmm nothing exactly fit the description of the behavior I have been experiencing for over a decade. This book, the examples and behaviors, it’s spot on. I am so thankful I found it.
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