
The Deep Places
A Memoir of Illness and Discovery
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Narrated by:
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Ross Douthat
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By:
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Ross Douthat
About this listen
New York Times Editors' Choice
In this vulnerable, insightful memoir, the New York Times columnist tells the story of his five-year struggle with a disease that officially doesn't exist, exploring the limits of modern medicine, the stories that we unexpectedly fall into, and the secrets that only suffering reveals.
“A powerful memoir about our fragile hopes in the face of chronic illness.” (Kate Bowler, best-selling author of Everything Happens for a Reason)
In the summer of 2015, Ross Douthat was moving his family, with two young daughters and a pregnant wife, from Washington, DC, to a sprawling farmhouse in a picturesque Connecticut town when he acquired a mysterious and devastating sickness. It left him sleepless, crippled, wracked with pain - a shell of himself. After months of seeing doctors and descending deeper into a physical inferno, he discovered that he had a disease which, according to CDC definitions, does not actually exist: the chronic form of Lyme disease, a hotly contested condition that devastates the lives of tens of thousands of people but has no official recognition - and no medically approved cure.
From a rural dream house that now felt like a prison, Douthat's search for help takes him off the map of official medicine, into territory where cranks and conspiracies abound and patients are forced to take control of their own treatment and experiment on themselves. Slowly, against his instincts and assumptions, he realizes that many of the cranks and weirdos are right, that many supposed "hypochondriacs" are victims of an indifferent medical establishment, and that all kinds of unexpected experiences and revelations lurk beneath the surface of normal existence, in the places underneath.
The Deep Places is a story about what happens when you are terribly sick and realize that even the doctors who are willing to treat you can only do so much. Along the way, Douthat describes his struggle back toward health with wit and candor, portraying sickness as the most terrible of gifts. It teaches you to appreciate the grace of ordinary life by taking that life away from you. It reveals the deep strangeness of the world, the possibility that the reasonable people might be wrong, and the necessity of figuring out things for yourself. And it proves, day by dreadful day, that you are stronger than you ever imagined, and that even in the depths, there is always hope.
©2021 Ross Douthat (P)2021 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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“A harrowing, and often profound, account of how one man’s life can be laid almost to waste by Fate.”—Wall Street Journal
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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
- A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
- By: Sallie Tisdale
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
- By Alyssa on 09-09-19
By: Sallie Tisdale
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Heart
- A History
- By: Sandeep Jauhar
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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For centuries, the human heart seemed beyond our understanding: an inscrutable shuddering mass that was somehow the driver of emotion and the seat of the soul. As cardiologist and best-selling author Sandeep Jauhar tells in The Heart, it was only recently that we demolished age-old taboos and devised the transformative procedures that changed the way we live. Deftly alternating between historical episodes and his own work, Jauhar tells the colorful and little known story of the doctors who risked their careers and the patients who risked their lives to know and heal our most vital organ.
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Fascinating Insight
- By Ironcharles on 10-27-18
By: Sandeep Jauhar
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Falling into the Fire
- A Psychiatrist's Encounters with the Mind in Crisis
- By: Christine Montross
- Narrated by: Christine Montross
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Falling into the Fire is psychiatrist Christine Montross's thoughtful investigation of the gripping patient encounters that have challenged and deepened her practice. Beautifully written, deeply felt, Falling into the Fire brings us inside the doctor’s mind, illuminating the grave human costs of mental illness as well as the challenges of diagnosis and treatment. At once rigorous and meditative, Falling into the Fire is an intimate portrait of psychiatry, allowing the reader to witness the humanity of the practice and the enduring mysteries of the mind.
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Buy this book! and READ it
- By joyce on 08-15-13
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Get Well Soon
- History's Worst Plagues and the Heroes Who Fought Them
- By: Jennifer Wright
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In 1518, in a small town in Alsace, Frau Troffea began dancing and didn't stop. She danced until she was carried away six days later, and soon 34 more villagers joined her. Then more. In a month more than 400 people had been stricken by the mysterious dancing plague. In late-19th-century England an eccentric gentleman founded the No Nose Club in his gracious townhome - a social club for those who had lost their noses, and other body parts, to the plague of syphilis for which there was then no cure.
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Didn't know syphilis could be so fascinating.
- By Kindle Customer on 02-09-17
By: Jennifer Wright
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Asleep
- The Forgotten Epidemic That Became Medicine’s Greatest Mystery
- By: Molly Caldwell Crosby
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1918, a world war raged, and a lethal strain of influenza circled the globe. In the midst of all this death, a bizarre disease appeared in Europe. Eventually known as encephalitis lethargica, or sleeping sickness, it spread worldwide, leaving millions dead or locked in institutions. Then, in 1927, it disappeared as suddenly as it had arrived. Asleep, set in 1920s and '30s New York, follows a group of neurologists through hospitals and asylums as they try to solve this epidemic and treat its victims - who learned the worst fate was not dying of it, but surviving it.
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Scary, and still unsolved, medical mystery
- By joyce on 12-14-14
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The Pain Chronicles
- Cures, Myths, Mysteries, Prayers, Diaries, Brain Scans, Healing, and the Science of Suffering
- By: Melanie Thernstrom
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Each of us will know physical pain in our lives, but none of us knows when it will come or how long it will stay. Today as much as 10 percent of the population of the United States suffers from chronic pain. It is more widespread, misdiagnosed, and undertreated than any major disease. While recent research has shown that pain produces pathological changes to the brain and spinal cord, many doctors and patients still labor under misguided cultural notions and outdated scientific dogmas.
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Informative, well researched and nicely written
- By Nathan O'Hara on 08-21-10
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Surviving Survival
- By: Laurence Gonzales
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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The shark attacked while she was snorkeling, tearing through Micki Glenn’s breast and shredding her right arm. Her husband, a surgeon, saved her life on the spot, but when she was safely home she couldn’t just go on with her life. She had entered an even more profound survival journey: the aftermath. The survival experience changes everything because it invalidates all your previous adaptations, and the old rules don’t apply. In some cases survivors suffer more in the aftermath than they did during the actual crisis. In all cases, they have to work hard to reinvent themselves.
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Well written, compelling and honest to the end
- By Mark on 07-21-14
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The Gift of Adversity
- The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections
- By: Norman E. Rosenthal M.D.
- Narrated by: Erik Synnestvedt
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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The noted research psychiatrist explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. Adversity is an irreducible fact of life. Although we can and should learn from all experiences, both positive and negative best-selling author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal believes that adversity is by far the best teacher most of us will ever encounter.
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Book ruined by the narrator
- By David C. on 12-07-22
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Sometimes People Die
- By: Simon Stephenson
- Narrated by: Greg Miller Burns
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Returning to practice after a suspension for stealing opioids, a young doctor takes the only job he can find: a post as a physician at the struggling St. Luke's Hospital in east London. Amid the maelstrom of sick patients, overworked staff and underfunded wards, a more insidious secret soon declares itself: too many patients are dying. And a murderer may be lurking in plain sight.
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If you’re going to read this, the audio narration makes it
- By Abigail Segal on 12-25-22
By: Simon Stephenson
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Ten Drugs
- How Plants, Powders, and Pills Have Shaped the History of Medicine
- By: Thomas Hager
- Narrated by: Angelo Di Loreto
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Beginning with opium, the “joy plant,” which has been used for 10,000 years, Thomas Hager tells a captivating story of medicine. His subjects include the largely forgotten female pioneer who introduced smallpox inoculation to Britain, the infamous knockout drops, the first antibiotic, which saved countless lives, the first antipsychotic, which helped empty public mental hospitals, Viagra, statins, and the new frontier of monoclonal antibodies. This is a deep, wide-ranging, and wildly entertaining book.
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Engrossing to physicians & lay persons alike
- By C. White on 03-08-19
By: Thomas Hager
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Manufacturing Depression
- The Secret History of a Modern Disease
- By: Gary Greenberg
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 14 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Am I happy enough? This has been a pivotal question since America's inception. "Am I not happy enough because I am depressed?" is a more recent version. Psychotherapist Gary Greenberg shows how depression has been manufactured---not as an illness but as an idea about our suffering, its source, and its relief. He challenges us to look at depression in a new way.
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Modern Gonzo Tour de Force
- By S. Frank on 11-12-11
By: Gary Greenberg
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Brotherhood
- Dharma, Destiny, and the American Dream
- By: Sanjiv Chopra, Deepak Chopra
- Narrated by: Deepak Chopra, Sanjiv Chopra
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The Chopra brothers were among the most eager and ambitious of the new generation. In the 1970s, they each emigrated to the United States to make a new life. Both faced tough obstacles: while Deepak encountered resistance from Western-trained doctors over what he called the mind-body connection, Sanjiv struggled to reconcile the beliefs of his birthplace with those of his new home. Eventually, each brother became convinced that America was the right place to build a life, and the Chopras went on to great achievements.
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How to Toot Your Horn
- By Kenneth on 07-01-13
By: Sanjiv Chopra, and others
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Early
- An Intimate History of Premature Birth and What It Teaches Us About Being Human
- By: Sarah DiGregorio
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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The heart of many hospitals is the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It is a place where humanity, ethics, and science collide in dramatic and deeply personal ways as parents, doctors, and nurses grapple with sometimes unanswerable questions: When does life begin? When and how should life end? And what does it mean to be human? Nearly 20 years ago, Dr. John D. Lantos wrote The Lazarus Case, a seminal work on ethical dilemmas in neonatology. He described the NICU as “a strong, strange, powerful place”. The
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Gripping read for this late preterm infant mom
- By R. Ash on 08-08-21
By: Sarah DiGregorio
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In 2002, Zara Chowdhary is sixteen years old and living with her family in Ahmedabad, one of India’s fastest-growing cities, when a gruesome train fire claims the lives of sixty Hindu right-wing volunteers and upends the life of five million Muslims. Instead of taking her school exams that week, Zara is put under a three-month siege, with her family and thousands of others fearing for their lives as Hindu neighbors, friends, and members of civil society transform overnight into bloodthirsty mobs, hunting and massacring their fellow citizens.
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Life under Modi
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I think I cried four times
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Harry Crews grew up as the son of a sharecropper in Georgia at a time when “the rest of the country was just beginning to feel the real hurt of the Great Depression but it had been living in Bacon County for years.” Yet what he conveys in this moving, brutal autobiography of his first six years of life is an elegiac sense of community and roots from a rural South that had rarely been represented in this way.
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In The Trip to Echo Spring, Olivia Laing examines the link between creativity and alcohol through the work and lives of six of America's finest writers: F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, John Berryman, John Cheever, and Raymond Carver. All six of these men were alcoholics, and the subject of drinking surfaces in some of their finest work, from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof to A Moveable Feast.
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A Terribly Serious Adventure
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These were among the questions that philosophers wrestled with in mid-twentieth-century Britain, a period shadowed by war and the rise of fascism. In response to these events, thinkers such as Philippa Foot (originator of the famous trolley problem), Isaiah Berlin, Iris Murdoch, Elizabeth Anscombe, Gilbert Ryle, and J. L. Austin aspired to a new level of watchfulness and self-awareness about language as a way of keeping philosophy true to everyday experience.
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Brilliant in every way!
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She was born in 1930 in El Paso and grew up on a cattle ranch in Arizona. At a time when women were expected to be homemakers, she set her sights on Stanford University. When she graduated near the top of her law school class in 1952, no firm would even interview her. But Sandra Day O’Connor’s story is that of a woman who repeatedly shattered glass ceilings - doing so with a blend of grace, wisdom, humor, understatement, and cowgirl toughness.
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Remarkable woman, well served in this book.
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Where Rivers Part
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Born in 1961 in war-torn Laos, Tswb’s childhood was marked by the violence of America’s Secret War and the CIA recruitment of the Hmong and other ethnic minorities into the lost cause. By the time Tswb was a teenager, the US had completely vacated Laos, and the country erupted into genocidal attacks on the Hmong people, who were labeled as traitors. Fearing for their lives, Tswb and her family left everything they knew behind and fled their village for the jungle.
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Soul touching and deep
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By: Kao Kalia Yang
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The Sassoons
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A spectacular generational saga of the making (and undoing) of a family dynasty: the riveting untold story of the gilded Jewish Bagdadi Sassoons, who built a vast empire through global finance and trade—cotton, opium, shipping, banking—that reached across three continents and ultimately changed the destinies of nations. With full access to rare family photographs and archives.
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A telling history
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The Ice at the End of the World
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In The Ice at the End of the World, Jon Gertner explains how Greenland has evolved from one of earth’s last frontiers to its largest scientific laboratory. The history of Greenland’s ice begins with the explorers who arrived here at the turn of the 20th century. Their original goal was to conquer Greenland’s seemingly infinite interior. Yet their efforts eventually gave way to scientists who built lonely encampments out on the ice and began drilling - one mile, two miles down.Their aim was to pull up ice cores that could reveal the deepest mysteries of earth’s past.
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Adventure, Science, Advocacy
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Eat a Peach
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From the chef behind Momofuku and star of Netflix’s Ugly Delicious—an intimate account of the making of a chef, the story of the modern restaurant world that he helped shape, and how he discovered that success can be much harder to understand than failure. Full of grace, candor, grit, and humor, Eat a Peach chronicles David Chang’s switchback path. Along the way, Chang gives us a penetrating look at restaurant life, in which he balances his deep love for the kitchen with unflinching honesty about the industry’s history of brutishness and its uncertain future.
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So many threads coming into a wonderful tapstery.
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I Want You to Know We're Still Here
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Esther Safran Foer grew up in a home where the past was too terrible to speak of. The child of parents who were each the sole survivors of their respective families, for Esther the Holocaust loomed in the backdrop of daily life, felt but never discussed. The result was a childhood marked by painful silences and continued tragedy. Even as she built a successful career, married, and raised three children, Esther always felt herself searching.
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Interesting but…
- By mk on 08-23-21
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Under the Big Black Sun
- A Personal History of L.A. Punk
- By: John Doe, Tom Desavia
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Under the Big Black Sun explores the nascent Los Angeles punk rock movement and its evolution to hardcore punk as it's never been told before. Authors John Doe and Tom DeSavia have woven together an enthralling story of the legendary West Coast scene from 1977 to 1982 by enlisting the voices of people who were there. The book shares chapter-length tales from the authors along with personal essays from famous (and infamous) players in the scene.
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A love song to the early punk days in LA.
- By Brenda on 07-09-16
By: John Doe, and others
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What You Have Heard Is True
- A Memoir of Witness and Resistance
- By: Carolyn Forché
- Narrated by: Carolyn Forché
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
What You Have Heard is True is a devastating, lyrical, and visionary memoir about a young woman’s brave choice to engage with horror in order to help others. Written by one of the most gifted poets of her generation, this is the story of a woman’s radical act of empathy, and her fateful encounter with an intriguing man who changes the course of her life.
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Beautiful story
- By Norhilda on 05-09-19
By: Carolyn Forché
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A Mother's Reckoning
- Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy
- By: Sue Klebold
- Narrated by: Andrew Solomon, Sue Klebold
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill 12 students and a teacher and wound 24 others before taking their own lives. For the last 16 years, Sue Klebold, Dylan's mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong?
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Sad, but, Ultimately, Self-Serving
- By Gillian on 02-19-16
By: Sue Klebold
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True Crime Addict
- How I Lost Myself in the Mysterious Disappearance of Maura Murray
- By: James Renner
- Narrated by: James Renner
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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When 11-year-old James Renner fell in love with Amy Mihaljevic, the missing girl seen on posters all over his neighborhood, it was the beginning of a lifelong obsession with true crime. That obsession led James to a successful career as an investigative journalist. It also gave him PTSD. In 2011 James began researching the strange disappearance of Maura Murray, a UMass student who went missing after wrecking her car in rural New Hampshire in 2004.
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Honest. Surprising. Fascinating.
- By River Holmes-miller on 05-27-16
By: James Renner
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Whatever Next?
- Lessons from an Unexpected Life
- By: Anne Glenconner
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Lady in Waiting brought us royal magic, beguiling insight, and jaw-dropping stories from life inside Anne Glenconner’s privileged circle, which though golden didn't always glitter. As she revealed in her memoir, it has been one of stark contrasts—from growing up in the splendor of Holkham Hall to living in a tent in the jungle of Mustique, from traveling the world with Princess Margaret to coping with her wildly unpredictable husband Lord Glenconner. She has also survived the tragic loss of two of her sons and nursed a third son back from a coma.
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Not What I Expected
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By: Anne Glenconner
What listeners say about The Deep Places
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- D
- 11-09-21
Excellent!!
A must read for anyone suffering or having suffered a long term and primarily unaddressed illness. His experiences are, unfortunately, a tale so many survivors may intimately relate to.
Highly recommend to those who are loved ones of those in the midst of such sufferings...
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7 people found this helpful
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- DFW
- 01-30-23
Poor Guy!
This poor guy really went through it until he ended up diagnosing himself and doing everything that he could to help himself. Hopefully he will continue to improve and can help and encourage others.
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- Zack March
- 09-09-22
A tale about modern medicine, without a happy end.
The author wrote a compelling story of his illness and attempt to recover. Things do not go well or simply for him.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Aggman
- 11-11-21
Very powerful and scary book
This book is downright scary and yet filled with sensible wisdom, not just about Lyme Disease but for chronic disease sufferers, It is deeply affecting, honest, and makes you think about not only Lyme but Covid and any other sickness that lingers and causes great suffering. I highly recommend this book, even though it's a tough listen.
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- SMW
- 08-03-24
Poignant, painful
Douthat does a wonderful job bringing you into his world of chronic Lyme. it's painful in many parts, especially for those who are on a similar journey themselves
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- CTrus
- 08-17-24
You’re Speaking Our Collective Truth
Thank you for sharing your story. There are millions of us recruited involuntarily into club. It’s life changing, not in a good way obviously.
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- Sophia
- 01-23-22
This was heartbreaking
My baby brother has been suffering from chronic Lyme and bartonella for 6 years now. I never really understood how he feels until I read this. It was eye opening and crushing. He’s been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and depression and all the doctors dismissed him like a frustrating patient. He is only 24 and is in a state of hopelessness. Thank you for being his voice and expressing so perfectly all that he feels but struggles to say. We are at a very difficult point where we don’t know what else to do to help him. We are contemplating stem cell therapy now. The words you used were as if he was speaking directly to me. It pierced through me. I felt mixed emotions. Hope because you got better but despair because it requires a willingness to battle that I’m not sure he has in him. The first thing I did was call him and say, “ it’s not in your head. Everything you feel I finally get it. It’s not in your head. I’m so sorry we ever thought it was.” Mr. Douthat, I speak directly to you now. If there’s any way you can have a conversation with my brother and give him hope and guidance please reach out to me. Thank you again. I’m so glad you made it through.
Sophia Ahmad
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6 people found this helpful
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- TAK
- 11-07-21
Everyone should listen to this book
I am so glad.I heard Ross Douthat on a podcast and decided to listen to his book on having and attempting to cure his chronic Lymes Disease. Not just a description of the hell of this misunderstood and oft misdiagnosed illness, but also a deep explanation of the lengths we will go to heal ourselves. Douthat explains the spiritual, medical, and mental aspects of illness in a compelling and clear way. Thank you, Audible, for having him read his own story so effectively.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Classical Music Lover
- 12-20-21
A Must Read
Ross Douthat recounts a captivating, excruciating, and seemingly never-ending bout with Lyme Disease. I have a dear friend whose painful story is very similar, so it had special meaning for me. However, I believe it is appropriate for ANY reader, especially during this pandemic. The book captures his journey in a very personal manner. I want to thank him for including all of the personal details of his experience. It helped me to understand his unfortunate sojourn through this very misunderstood illness. It will be salve to the soul of fellow sufferers of this horrible ailment. I listened to it in a day. Thank you for sharing your story, Ross Douthat!
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- Julie19
- 01-02-22
Eye opening & a joy to read
This book is essential for anyone suffering from a long chronic illness, or anyone who has a close relative who is. It distills the experience so accurately.
The writing is also excellent, which keeps the experience lighter than the topic might lend. I feel more hopeful having read it.
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