What My Bones Know
A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
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Narrated by:
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Stephanie Foo
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By:
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Stephanie Foo
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER •
A searing memoir of reckoning and healing by acclaimed journalist Stephanie Foo, investigating the little-understood science behind complex PTSD and how it has shaped her life
“Achingly exquisite . . . providing real hope for those who long to heal.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, NPR, Mashable, She Reads, Publishers Weekly
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
Both of Foo’s parents abandoned her when she was a teenager, after years of physical and verbal abuse and neglect. She thought she’d moved on, but her new diagnosis illuminated the way her past continued to threaten her health, relationships, and career. She found limited resources to help her, so Foo set out to heal herself, and to map her experiences onto the scarce literature about C-PTSD.
In this deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations. Ultimately, she discovers that you don’t move on from trauma—but you can learn to move with it.
Powerful, enlightening, and hopeful, What My Bones Know is a brave narrative that reckons with the hold of the past over the present, the mind over the body—and examines one woman’s ability to reclaim agency from her trauma.
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Critic reviews
“Absorbing . . . a reckoning, and Foo approaches it with candor and rigor . . . profoundly affecting.”—The New York Times
“Foo’s happy ending is nothing short of deliverance—rich and joyful and full of care the child was denied. . . . Possibility still glows around the edges of her sight.”—USA Today
“An unflinching reminder of the hidden struggles many face, told with the keen eye of a researcher and the brutality of a documentarian.”—NPR
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Two very different women with this in common: Each harbors her own secret, her own reason why she can't just let this go. Neither can yield, not before they've dredged up all that's hidden, even if it has the power to shatter all they've built.
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Pettiness Turn Twisted!
- By Jenn on 01-19-17
By: Holly Brown
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
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- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Carly's Voice
- Breaking Through Autism
- By: Arthur Fleischmann, Carly Fleischmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
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At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Although she made some progress after years of intensive behavioral and communication therapy, Carly remained largely unreachable. Then, at age 10, Carly had a breakthrough....
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A peek inside...
- By Yolanda on 08-09-13
By: Arthur Fleischmann, and others
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Nearly Normal
- Surviving the Wilderness, My Family and Myself
- By: Cea Sunrise Person
- Narrated by: Cea Sunrise Person
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In her best-selling memoir North of Normal, Cea wrote with grace about her unconventional childhood - her early years living in a tipi in Alberta with her pot-smoking, free-loving counterculture family. But her struggles do not end when she leaves her family at the age of 13 to become a model. Honest and daring, Nearly Normal reveals the many ways that Cea's unconventional childhood continues to reverberate through the years.
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This one is just not for me
- By Pamela Plimpton on 03-15-19
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Switching Time
- A Doctor's Harrowing Story of Treating a Woman with 17 Personalities
- By: Richard Baer M.D.
- Narrated by: Lloyd James
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Switching Time is the first story centering on multiple personality disorder to be told by the treating physician. It is the incredible saga of a young woman stranded in unimaginable darkness who, in order to survive, created 17 different versions of herself. One by one, Karen's "alters" began showing themselves: men, women, young boys, a toddler, black, white, vicious, nurturing, prim, licentious. And their "stepping out" confronted Baer with the challenge of a lifetime.
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Couldn't help myself
- By Tech Nut on 12-31-07
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Not Fade Away
- A Memoir of Senses Lost and Found
- By: Rebecca Alexander, Sascha Alper
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Thirty-four-year-old Rebecca Alexander is a psychotherapist, a spin instructor, a volunteer, and an athlete. She is also almost completely blind, with significantly deteriorated hearing. Not Fade Away is a deeply moving exploration of the obstacles we all face-physical, psychological, and philosophical. Rebecca's story is an exquisite reminder to live each day to its fullest.
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Loved this!
- By Daryl on 11-24-14
By: Rebecca Alexander, and others
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A Fractured Mind
- My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder
- By: Robert B. Oxnam
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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At the peak of his professional career, after having led the Asia Society for nearly a decade, Oxnam was haunted by periodic blackouts and episodic rages. After his family and friends intervened, Oxnam received help from a psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffery Smith, and entered a rehab center. It wasn't until 1990, during a session with Dr. Smith, that the first of Oxnam's 11 alternate personalities, an angry young boy named Tommy, suddenly emerged.
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A solid look at a rare disorder
- By O. Canosa on 11-23-07
By: Robert B. Oxnam
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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Schuyler's Monster
- A Father's Journey with His Wordless Daughter
- By: Robert Rummel-Hudson
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
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When Schuyler Rummel-Hudson was 18 months old, a question about her lack of speech by her pediatrician set in motion a journey that continues today. When she was diagnosed with bilateral perisylvian polymicrogyria (an extremely rare neurological disorder), her parents were given a name for the monster that had been stalking them from doctor to doctor, and from despair to hope, and back again.
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Must-read for medical parents & those who ❤them
- By Kelly A. Wolske on 05-23-18
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The Priority List
- A Teacher's Final Quest to Discover Life's Greatest Lessons
- By: David Menasche
- Narrated by: David Menasche
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
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David Menasche lived for his work as a high school English teacher. His passion inspired his students, and between lessons on Shakespeare and sentence structure, he forged a unique bond with his kids, buoying them through personal struggles while sharing valuable life lessons.
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Truly Inspiring!!
- By Trish on 07-13-14
By: David Menasche
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Finding Me
- A Memoir
- By: Viola Davis
- Narrated by: Viola Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
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In my book, you will meet a little girl named Viola who ran from her past until she made a life-changing decision to stop running forever. This is my story, from a crumbling apartment in Central Falls, Rhode Island, to the stage in New York City, and beyond. This is the path I took to finding my purpose but also my voice in a world that didn’t always see me.
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Absolutely beautifully Written❤️
- By Love bug23 on 05-02-22
By: Viola Davis
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BRAVE
- By: Rose McGowan
- Narrated by: Rose McGowan
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
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Performance
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In a strange world where Rose McGowan was continually on display, stardom soon became a personal nightmare of constant exposure and sexualization. Rose escaped into the world of her mind, something she had done as a child, and into high-profile relationships. Every detail of her personal life became public, and the realities of an inherently sexist industry emerged with every script, role, public appearance, and magazine cover. The Hollywood machine packaged her as a sexualized bombshell, hijacking her image and identity and marketing them.
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I always wondered what it was like to be Rose
- By Bobbie J Daniel on 03-01-18
By: Rose McGowan
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The effects of abuse on a child can cause long-term, often hidden heartache to that child, especially as they travel through adulthood. Acting out, bad decisions, and constant flashbacks take the child on a road that includes confusion, secrets, and the inability to understand adult relationships. Living through the mental trauma of covet abuse is difficult, and may take a lifetime to overcome. Join the author, as she shares how therapy helped her discover the unusual form of child abuse that she’d suffered, and how she rediscovered a sense of normalcy.
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It begins with numbness on her left leg. Then it spreads. Even though an MRI finds a "mass" on her brainstem, it takes two more years for Meredith O'Brien to learn what is causing that numbness. Months after her sixty-five-year-old mother dies from a fast-moving cancer, weeks after her father is hospitalized and she experiences an unexpected job change, she learns she has multiple sclerosis. Suddenly, Meredith, a married mother of three teens, has to figure out how to move forward into a life she no longer recognizes.
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In The Pain We Carry, you'll find powerful tools to help you understand and begin healing from repeated trauma. You'll discover ways to feel safer in your body, build self-compassion and resilience, and reclaim your health and wellness by reconnecting with your sense of self and your ancestral wisdom. You'll learn how trauma is connected to grief, how it can affect both the mind and the body, and how it can persist from one generation to the next.
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In this evocative, personal piece, Dr. Sanjay Gupta reflects on his life as a parent during this unprecedented time. He shares his fears and questions about raising his three young daughters amid our current public health crisis - and gives listeners a candid glimpse into how he’s navigating the pandemic at home.
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What listeners say about What My Bones Know
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ellen
- 02-26-22
Astounding, honest, hopeful, well researched
If you have ever struggled with ANY type of mental health challenges, you will find many nuggets of gold in this book!
While it is written specifically about the author’s work to learn about and grow through her history of repeated childhood trauma and eventual diagnosis with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), any human should be able to connect to and find solace in what Ms. Foo has to say.
Her honesty is refreshing and disarming. The inclusion of several recordings from actual therapy sessions makes the audio version really stand out. To top it all off, her writing and narration are killer!
KUDOS, FOO!!! (I am your fan for life!)
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- Anonymous User
- 08-20-22
acceptance
acceptance is more important than cure - curiousity leads the process of healing - discovery is the reward of new grounds
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- Chinese Language Learner
- 06-13-22
Highly recommend
Beautifully written despite the sensitive subject matter. This book held my interest through the phases of her telling her personal story, then her journey of seeking healing methods to finally finding the right fit for her to ultimately finding that elusive, but possible, peace with her past. Sharing the actual recordings from her therapy sessions were so profoundly helpful to me. Thank you for that gift. This book is raw at times but so worth the deep dig to the bones. Highly recommend for the quality writing, excellent narration and actual therapy recordings.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-14-22
My heart is so overwhelmed
Thank you so much for writing this book Stephanie. Not only did you give a name and a face to the experiences I've had as an adult because of my trauma, you also give me different ways that I could try to heal.. I cried a lot throughout this book. So much of it resonated with me and I didn't want to to end. I definitely recommend this book to anyone dealing with pastor trauma.
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- Simone
- 04-13-22
Incredible
This book is Deeply moving, with moments of levity to balance the trauma. Just listen, you’ll see.
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- Beth Dobrish
- 06-02-22
Incredible story and narration
Hearing Stephanie narrate this phenomenal book adds to its intimacy and impact. This book is an important addition to our understanding of trauma. Highly recommend!!!!!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-22-22
One of the best books out there on cPTSD
If you're on the fence about this book, get it. The author's personal story is combined with concrete treatment tools in a way that causes you to fall into her story. By the end, I felt I had absorbed a little bit of her experience, strength, and hope for my own healing journey.
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- Angela gallegos
- 06-24-22
AMAZING!
I have read soooo many self-help books trying to find something I can relate to my struggles. Hearing the story from a "real" person with similar struggles has given me hope.
Thank you Stephanie Foo! You are AMAZING!
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- kiwords
- 03-05-22
Stunning
I was going to say that anyone who had a traumatic childhood should read this book, but actually, I think everyone should. It’s hard and fascinating and beautiful and hopeful.
And as she says at the very beginning, it has a happy ending.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-21-22
insightful and Inspiring
the book captures the messiness of life in a way that is sure to resonate with those living with CPTSD and those that love them. oh and everyone else too
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