How to Mars
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By:
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David Ebenbach
About this listen
What happens when your dream mission to Mars is a reality television nightmare?
For the six lucky scientists selected by the Destination Mars! corporation, a one-way ticket to Mars - in exchange for a lifetime of research - was an absolute no-brainer. The incredible opportunity was clearly worth even the most absurdly tedious screening process. Perhaps worth following the strange protocols in a nonsensical handbook written by an eccentric billionaire. Possibly even worth their constant surveillance, the video of which is carefully edited into a ratings-bonanza back on Earth.
But it turns out that after a while, even scientists can get bored of science. Tempers begin to fray; unsanctioned affairs blossom. When perfectly good equipment begins to fail, the Marsonauts are faced with a possibility that their training just cannot explain.
Irreverent, poignant, and perfectly weird, David Ebenbach’s exciting debut science-fiction outing, like a mission to Mars, is an incredible trip you will never forget.
Includes bonus story What Lights We Have.
©2021 David Ebenbach (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Humans call them Monument-Makers. An unknown race, they left stunning alien statues scattered on distant planets throughout the galaxy, encoded with strange inscriptions that defy translation. Searching for clues about the Monument-Makers, teams of 23rd century linguists, historians, engineers and archaeologists have been excavating the enigmatic alien ruins on a number of planets, uncovering strange, massive false cities made of solid rock. But their time is running out.
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Conceptually intriguing, but uneven writing style
- By Michael G Kurilla on 05-12-11
By: Jack McDevitt
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Factoring Humanity
- By: Robert J. Sawyer
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In the near future, a signal is detected coming from the Alpha Centauri system. Mysterious, unintelligible data streams in for ten years. Heather Davis, a professor in the University of Toronto psychology department, has devoted her career to deciphering the message. Her estranged husband, Kyle, is working on the development of artificial intelligence systems and new computer technology utilizing quantum effects to produce a near-infinite number of calculations simultaneously.
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Novel alien first contact
- By Michael G Kurilla on 05-28-12
By: Robert J. Sawyer
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You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
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Blind Lake
- By: Robert Charles Wilson
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert Charles Wilson, says The New York Times, "writes superior science fiction thrillers." His Darwinia won Canada's Aurora Award; his most recent novel, The Chronoliths, won the prestigious John W. Campbell Memorial Award. Now he tells a gripping tale of alien contact and human love in a mysterious but hopeful universe.
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DIMINISHED EXPECTATIONS
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 06-22-15
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Second Hand Heart
- By: Catherine Ryan Hyde
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Anthony Bowden
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Vida is only 19, but she knows a lot about dying. Her weak heart has kept her on the edge of death her whole life. It hasn't been much of a life. Thanks to her overprotective mother, Vida's only friend is Esther, an elderly Holocaust survivor who lives upstairs. Vida's heart is finally about to give out unless she can get a donor heart in time. Richard is 36 and blissfully married until he gets the call that his beloved wife has died in a car accident. His world falls to pieces.
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Worst one yet
- By SAL on 06-23-16
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Expecting Adam
- A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment Martha and her husband, John, conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them not to keep the baby.
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True Life Fairy Tale
- By Desarae on 11-27-13
By: Martha Beck
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Seveneves
- A Novel
- By: Neal Stephenson
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal, Will Damron
- Length: 31 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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A catastrophic event renders the earth a ticking time bomb. In a feverish race against the inevitable, nations around the globe band together to devise an ambitious plan to ensure the survival of humanity far beyond our atmosphere, in outer space.
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Odd narrator choice
- By Josh Mitchell on 05-30-15
By: Neal Stephenson
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To Be Taught, If Fortunate
- By: Becky Chambers
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the turn of the 22nd century, scientists make a breakthrough in human spaceflight. Through a revolutionary method known as somaforming, astronauts can survive in hostile environments off Earth using synthetic biological supplementations. With the fragility of the body no longer a limiting factor, human beings are at last able to journey to neighboring exoplanets long known to harbor life. A team of these explorers, Ariadne O’Neill and her three crewmates, are hard at work in a planetary system 15 light-years from Sol, on a mission to ecologically survey four habitable worlds.
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"Gay & Lesbian"?!? This is solid Sci-Fi
- By Jennifer on 09-16-19
By: Becky Chambers
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Time for the Stars
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: Barrett Whitener
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Travel to other planets is now a reality, and with overpopulation stretching the resources of Earth, the necessity of finding habitable worlds is growing ever more urgent. There’s a problem though—because the spaceships are slower than light, any communication between the exploring ships and Earth would take years.
Tom and Pat are identical twin teenagers. As twins they’ve always been close, so close that it seemed like they could read each other’s minds.
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My First Heinlein
- By DJM on 01-27-11
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Lockstep
- By: Karl Schroeder
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 13 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When 17-year-old Toby McGonigal finds himself lost in space, separated from his family, he expects his next drift into cold sleep to be his last. After all, the planet he' s orbiting is frozen and sunless, and the cities are dead. But when Toby wakes again, he' s surprised to discover a thriving planet, a strange and prosperous galaxy, and something stranger still - that he' s been asleep for 14,000 years. Welcome to the Lockstep Empire, where civilization is kept alive by careful hibernation. Here cold sleeps can last decades and waking moments mere weeks.
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A Great Idea, Poorly Served
- By D. M. ROBISON on 04-01-14
By: Karl Schroeder
What listeners say about How to Mars
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ally Beauchamp
- 12-03-21
Best Mars-based title since Bradbury...
I laughed. I cried. I didn't want it to end. Hilarious and insightful and a brilliant performance from every single narrator. What a power team!
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2 people found this helpful
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- VJG
- 12-08-21
hard to encapsulate without spoiling ...
A fun, surprising, imaginative story about what might happen among humans who colonize the red (orange) planet. Heart-warming, inspiring and a little frightening in places. The performances were spot on - I really loved whichever narrator read the "How To" sections. With Stefan a close 2nd. highly recommended.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Patrick Smith
- 11-16-22
gotta call this a meh
group of people being bored on Mars. not that different than people being bored on Earth. some conflict started to show up but then everyone just decided to get on with being bored.
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- GCJ
- 12-10-21
An amazing story with some of the best actors
When I first started this book I was very iffy about it. I loved books about space especially ones kinda like this one. Eventually it grew on me and I kept listening and I couldn’t stop at all. This book especially near the end was just so heart warming and absolutely amazing. The story is just perfect with a good amount of actual life questions and very good humor. The voice actors made this all the better and made me truly fall in love with this book. 10/10 and Stefan is definitely my favorite.
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3 people found this helpful
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- pamela
- 06-07-22
Just Okay
An okay story, I liked the ending. I was not a fan of the Mars Handbook portions. I love science fiction but this didn't satisfy my search for a good science fiction book.
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- shane marlow
- 12-17-21
such a joy
i laughed and smiled the whole way through, the writing is fantastic and the performance was SO entertaining I'll be listening again
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2 people found this helpful
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- Marsha
- 06-05-22
This book will make you smile!
Such a creative and fun book. Very witty and thought-provoking. If you are looking for a fun, quick read, and like to chuckle out loud, I highly recommend this book.
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- Mark K. Bookbinder
- 12-03-21
Interesting start pour finish
Story starts out strong with the hint of maybe it’s going to be funny then the end is rushed and the whole story just peters out to a whimper.
The performance of the narrators is very well done. With good inflection for different voices of different people. But that’s not the story.
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1 person found this helpful