Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
Galaxy Cruise, Book 2
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Narrated by:
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TJ Clark
About this listen
Galactic war, mass destruction, and a whole lot of wasted wedding cake.
After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce!
To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure, his first officer is weaponizing the safety gear, and his acting head of hospitality is a sociopath who keeps maiming the guests.
When Leo’s old flame makes a mysterious reappearance, can she help him unite the nuptial-bound nemeses, or is the whole galaxy royally screwed?
Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed is the second uproarious adventure of the cruise starship WTF Americano Grande, featuring aliens in inflatable fat suits, a gladiator-style singles mingle, and a few very tasteful and understated poop jokes.
©2021 Marcus Alexander Hart (P)2022 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Rob Dunbar is the world's best history professor. And with good reason: he's been alive for 3,000 years, keeping his existence a secret since before the days of Athens. But a stranger named Baxter has a better use for Rob's vast expertise. Baxter's looking to found a mining company in the Asteroid Belt. In exchange for Rob's help, he'll try to unravel the mystery of Rob's origin. As they're getting their outfit off the ground, they come under covert attack by HemiCo, a powerful Mars-based corporation.
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Great book
- By Adam on 09-29-16
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Starflight
- By: Melissa Landers
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Solara Brooks needs a fresh start, someplace where nobody cares about the engine grease beneath her fingernails or the felony tattoos across her knuckles. The outer realm may be lawless, but it's not like the law has ever been on her side. Still, off-world travel doesn't come cheap; Solara is left with no choice but to indenture herself in exchange for passage to the outer realm.
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Better than expected
- By Jessica Jones on 04-17-16
By: Melissa Landers
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The Awakening
- Broken Worlds, Book 1
- By: Jasper T. Scott
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Darius Drake is desperate to save his daughter, Cassandra. So desperate he's willing to risk their lives in cryo-sleep to give her a future. But the dark, freezing vault where he wakes up is nothing like the luxurious Florida hospital he remembers. Everything about this place is alien to him, even the language. Little does he know how alien it really is. Darius and his daughter go exploring their new surroundings with a few others from the cryo pods, and they soon discover frozen, mutilated bodies everywhere.
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Alien/Predator/Star Wars mashup
- By Leonidas Karr on 08-28-18
By: Jasper T. Scott
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Arcadian Genesis
- By: Greig Beck
- Narrated by: Sean Mangan
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex Hunter - in the mission that turned him from a normal man into the weapon known as the Arcadian - and the elite team of soldiers known as the Hotzone All-Forces Warfare Commandos must enter a hostile country to rescue a defected Chechen researcher from the centre of a country at war. But the HAWCs are not the only ones looking for the rogue scientist and the mysterious package he carries with him. A brutal and relentless killer and his death squad are on the trail, too - and they bring a savagery with them that Hunter and his team have never witnessed before in modern warfare.
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Not bad, but not great
- By Michael on 02-27-22
By: Greig Beck
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The Ember War
- Publisher's Pack, Books 1-2
- By: Richard Fox
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 15 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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The Ember War, book 1: The Earth is doomed. Humanity has a chance. In the near future, an alien probe arrives on Earth with a pivotal mission: to determine if humanity has what it takes to survive the impending invasion by a merciless armada. The probe discovers Marc Ibarra, a young inventor who holds the key to a daring gambit that could save a fraction of Earth's population. Humanity's only chance lies with Ibarra's ability to keep a terrible secret and engineer the planet down the narrow path to survival.
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A COUPLE OF BULLETS AND FOUL LANGUAGE TO DEFEND
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-10-16
By: Richard Fox
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Titanborn
- By: Rhett C. Bruno
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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After decades hunting wanted offworlders throughout the solar system, Corporate Bounty Hunter Malcolm Graves doesn't bother asking questions. So long as the pay is right, he's the man for the job. And he always works alone. But when a high-profile bombing on Earth has Pervenio Corp clamoring for answers, they force him to team up with a strange, cyber-augmented partner. A young man more interested in statistics than instinct. Their assignment: Track down a suspected group of extremists from Titan who will go to any length to free their moon from the grip of Earth's corporations.
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Great Mystery Sci-fi
- By Bryan on 02-08-19
By: Rhett C. Bruno
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The Myriad
- Tour of the Merrimack, Book 1
- By: R.M. Meluch
- Narrated by: John Glouchevitch
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The U.S.S. Merrimack was the finest battleship class spaceship in Earth's fleet, able to stand up against the best the Palatine Empire could throw at them, even able to attack and kill swarms of the seemingly unstoppable Hive. But nothing could have prepared the captain and crew of the Merrimack to face the Myriad - three colonized worlds in the midst of a globular cluster that the Hive had somehow overlooked.
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Great performance. Great read.
- By fistandantilus8u on 07-15-17
By: R.M. Meluch
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The Reluctant Adventures of Fletcher Connolly on the Interstellar Railroad
- By: Felix R. Savage
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Fletcher Connolly hasn't got a lot to lose. Since he and half the galaxy signed on to the rat race of the technological relics trade, Fletch has come to terms with the idea that he will join the ranks of unlucky explorers that perish light years from home without a dime to his name. But bankruptcy is a great motivator. With friends and family counting on him to strike it rich, Fletch embarks on an unwilling quest for alien treasure.
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I wanted to love this book, but I did like it
- By wag more on 07-26-18
By: Felix R. Savage
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Star Soldier
- Doom Star, Book 1
- By: Vaughn Heppner
- Narrated by: Ely Miles
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s survival of the fittest in a brutal war of extinction! Created in the gene labs as super soldiers, the Highborn decide to replace the obsolete Homo sapiens. They pirate the Doom Stars and capture the Sun Works Ring around Mercury. Now they rain asteroids, orbital fighters and nine-foot tall drop troops onto Earth in a relentless tide of conquest. Marten Kluge is on the receiving end. Hounded by Thought Police, he lives like an ant in a kilometer-deep city.
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Good book and the series only gets better!
- By ApplesOverOranges on 08-23-13
By: Vaughn Heppner
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Arena
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Joshua Story
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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When the aliens came down and told us they’d enslave all of the human race if we didn’t send our bigliest warrior to participate in their arena death games, I laughed at them. It was really funny because they obviously didn’t know who they were dealing with. Know what I mean? Then they said they would pick the greatest warrior, and they picked Marc Havak. He seemed like such an average guy, but he was a true-blue American. He even worked as a truck driver! That’s the kind of good guy we want defending us from aliens.
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he really did a great job
- By Jason Lavelle on 02-18-19
By: Logan Jacobs
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The Atlantis Ship
- By: A. C. Hadfield
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Carson Mach, a former war hero turned freelancer, seeks the biggest payday of his life when he's tasked to hunt down a ghost ship that has echoed through the centuries. The legendary Atlantis ship has become a reality, appearing at the Commonwealth frontier and obliterating an orbital station.
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Very Good Story, Looking Forward to the Next Book
- By Striker on 09-13-15
By: A. C. Hadfield
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Inquisitor
- By: Mitchell Hogan
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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To Inquisitor Angel Xia, it was just another corporate killing on a backwater planet. But as the bodies begin to pile up and she finds herself a target, she realizes she's stepped on one toe too many. Barely escaping attempts on her life by powerful agents with seemingly limitless reach and influence, Angel senses even her co-Inquisitors can't be trusted. But as the web tightens, she receives a cryptic message from a computer program claiming to be a little girl in desperate need of her help.
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meh
- By James Cross on 08-17-15
By: Mitchell Hogan
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Unfathomed
- By: Ralph Kern
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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After months recuperating in hospital, US Marine Jack Cohen hoped a Caribbean cruise would help him recover from the horrific injuries he sustained fighting in the Middle East. Instead, when the ship is attacked, he is once again thrust into battle to protect Atlantica against the ruthless enemy hunting her, and the insidious threat already aboard.
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Bring me home...
- By R. J. Thorne on 07-15-17
By: Ralph Kern
What listeners say about Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kyle B.
- 08-10-24
PERFORMANCE!
Once again TJ Clark gives an absolutely phenomenal performance. A wide range of voices are required in order for these characters to fully bring the story to life and TJ absolutely nailed it! Can’t wait to start the next book!
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- High Priestess Enoch
- 02-24-23
witty and fun
Like its predecessor, this was a fun book. It puts the characters through funny situations. The narrator is great with the different voices of characters. Fun plot.
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