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How to Stop People-Pleasing

By: The Great Courses, Wind Goodfriend
Narrated by: Wind Goodfriend
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Publisher's summary

Do you find yourself regularly sacrificing your own wants and needs to make others happy? Do people take advantage of your desire to be helpful? Are you becoming exhausted or resentful from meeting the demands—real or assumed—of others? In other words, are you a perpetual people pleaser?

We all want to be liked and appreciated by the people around us, but some of us may let this desire dictate our choices and behaviors in a way that can become unhealthy. In How to Stop People-Pleasing, psychology professor Dr. Wind Goodfriend examines what drives many of us to sacrifice our well-being to please others and offers guidance on how you can set healthy boundaries and start prioritizing yourself. In five illuminating lectures, Dr. Goodfriend will help you understand where the approval-seeking impulse comes from, why some of us are so susceptible to it, the steps you can take to develop your confidence and sense of self, and ways you can enforce your newfound freedom from the expectations of others.

As Dr. Goodfriend teaches you how to tackle the three components that fuel people-pleasing—mindset, habits, and feelings—you will see how, despite your best efforts to be what everyone needs you to be, you ultimately can’t control what other people think of you. With the tools and perspectives provided in this course, you can break the damaging cycle of self-sacrifice and resentment and make the changes to become a better, healthier version of yourself.

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About the Creator and Performer

Dr. Wind Goodfriend is a professor of psychology at Buena Vista University. She also serves as the assistant dean of liberal arts. Dr. Goodfriend earned her master’s degree and doctorate in social psychology from Purdue University. She is the author or editor of over 100 publications, including four textbooks. Her first textbook, Social Psychology, won the Most Promising Textbook of the Year Award in 2019 from the Textbook and Academic Authors Association. She has also won several teaching awards, including the Wythe Teacher of the Year, one of the nation’s largest teaching prizes at the university level. Dr. Goodfriend’s research focuses on relationship violence, prejudice toward sexual and gender minorities, the psychological dynamics of cults, and how psychology is portrayed in popular culture and media.

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I enjoyed it and learned from it.

It was interesting to hear from an author who did not suffer from confidence issues herself but who can approach confidence and boundaries from the perspective of a professor and researcher. Not experiencing it yourself doesn’t mean you cannot understand a subject, and the author has a very comfortable grasp on this topic. As she says herself you can take it or leave it if her POV on the subject doesn’t appeal to you or help, but I thought it was an interesting perspective.

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concise and eye-opening discussion of psychological theory and real world application

I really enjoyed this audio course. it combined academic research with a number of useful surveys. the author shared her personal example but highlighted and concisely summarized several research studies. this was much more than an autobiographical self-help course. it was a fantastic blend of Empirical research individual application. highly recommended.

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