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Brad the Impaler
- A LitRPG Adventure
- Narrated by: Will Collyer
- Length: 18 hrs and 48 mins
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Publisher's summary
"A hilarious, balls-to-the-wall, heavy-metal stake fest!"—Matt Dinniman, author of Dungeon Crawler Carl
Engage full-on warrior mode and unleash your inner hero to become the ultimate survivor!
When he accidentally opens a medieval chest that looks like it just fell off the set of Game Of Thrones, Brad Wright is thrust into the wildest adventure of his life.
Welcome to Darkworld, a savage survival game where Brad and his sassy Chihuahua, Slash, think they’ve got it all figured out. Brad’s a strategy gamer, after all. Build a shelter, grow crops, forge weapons, and form alliances to escape this nightmare.
Do that and they’ll find their way out of the game in one piece.
But Darkworld’s creators have a twisted purpose. Game guides are less reliable than a rusty sword. An AI is hell-bent on breaking players. There are trolls, goblins, vampires, and worse, off-key bards. Even if Brad gets past them, he has the butchers to contend with. Sadistic people who paid to carve up players like Thanksgiving turkeys.
Brad can’t fail. Dying in the game doesn’t just mean GAME OVER. Fail, and it’s like being flushed down the metaverse’s toilet. Poof! Vanished like a glitchy NPC. What’s worse than being dead? Being erased like you never existed at all.
The rules are brutal. The stakes are high. Success is nearly impossible. Victory means more than loot and leveling up.
The ultimate game of survival will be won in a loincloth in this action-packed LitRPG Adventure perfect for fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl and This Trilogy is Broken! When you start a game with nothing but a loincloth, a dog who cusses like a sailor, and only your wits, there’s only one way to go.
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Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
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Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
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Dirk was America’s golden boy. Olympic golds, Wheaties box—the works. That was ten years ago. Turns out going to prison is terrible for sponsorships. Now, he’s alone, a felony on his record, and bitter at the world. Enter the Tower of Conflict. Just what a man needs to get out of a rut—the end of the world and a Tower to Climb. Aided by his talking goose animal companion, magical cape, and the Goddess of Fate herself, Dirk is primed to take this Tower by storm.
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Magic school isn't cheap. To be a Mage, he must work smart and learn fast.Fate dealt Nox the Alchemist unfavorable cards, but he has learnt to compensate for his shortcomings with scholarly pursuits, tenacity, and sheer grit. Fortunately, for him Woodson University and their scouts are always seeking individuals with his work ethic. The Department of Dungeon Studies sees the value of the mind and its ability to overcome all limitations. After all, they stripped the divine of their titles. The department turned gods into Dungeon Lords and their domains into Dungeons.
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Not sure I'll continue
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Shadeslinger
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Corporate flameout Ned Altimer dreams of leaving his world behind. So, when Earthblood Online splashes onto the VRMMO scene, he dives in and never looks back. His advantages are twofold: exclusive access to the game’s three-day Head Start period, and a ridiculously handsome talking axe named Frank who has knowledge of the game’s deepest secrets...if the magnificent Frank ever feels like sharing them.
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Great new author! Looking forward to the next book
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Due to unusual circumstances, Randidly starts in an isolated dungeon far beyond his level, forced to rely on the mysterious Traveler Shal in order to learn and survive with the dangerous new status quo for his world. But survive he does, only to leave the dungeon and discover that while he experienced several hellish months in the dungeon, only half a day passed on Earth. Randidly's capabilities are now more than enough to help build a small enclave of survivors, but that doesn't mean balancing his sense of responsibility against the plots of an unfriendly town will be easy.
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The system came. The apocalypse ended. Now new worlds have merged with Earth. For Bain Lee, it means leveling his Ocularist class beyond its previous limits. With this strange class and the ability to see into the inner workings of the system, he may find the magic skills needed to earn his redemption. Not only that, but he might discover the secret behind the system itself.
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Pretty good but
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What listeners say about Brad the Impaler
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Salty Static
- 01-17-24
Not a fan
I was hoping this book would be a good Dungeon Crawler Carl spinoff. It’s not. I didn’t find most of the intended humor to be funny. It’s mostly juvenile delivered by a dog who acts like a 10 year old who likes dirty words and throwing tantrums to get his way. I was only able to get half way through the book before I couldn’t take any more of slash. Maybe it’s because I don’t own a dog.
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- Laura
- 01-27-24
A Game Of Life or Death
I was entertained by this story. Brad Wright and his dog, Slash, were catapulted into a survival game where the stakes were life or death. While in the game, Brad found out that if he lost his life in the game, his whole existence would be wiped out, and it would be like he never existed. I liked that the format was based on a role-playing game complete with stats and level ups and downs. I enjoyed all the different fantastical creatures that populated the tale. I was amused by some of the dialogue and situations. I appreciated the twists and turns. I was intrigued by the complexities of the character of Brad. Will Collyer's narration was fantastic, and his performance added to the story's entertainment. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.
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- Cthaeh
- 01-20-24
not what I expected
The blurb sounds like it's describing a different book. It's pretty slow moving but okay for the book length. If most of the MCs moralizing was cut It would still be full book length and move much faster. Some chapters just seemed to exist as a fantasy reason for the MC to pontificate on his personal ethics and morals. No shortage of the virtual signaling that goes part and parcel wiith this type of MC. He is a pacifist "nice guy" in a pvp death game. The humor is poop fart sex self depreciating jokes and second hand embarrassment. A few times there are "white" jokes. Is it pandering to white liberals or non-whites? Is it funny? IDK Is book 2 where his black friend invites him to the BBQ? It did get some chuckles out of me and the humor certainly improved the book. Im not sure I would have made it all the way through if it wasnt funny. Will probably continue book 2 but will probably read the reviews first.
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- Jeremy K.
- 01-24-24
It's alright
Not sure I'll continue the series. The story basis is interesting enough to potentially keep going, but there are issues that are hard to get past. The biggest is the super annoying dog. Yes, donut can go there too in DC, but the whine/howling just cuts right through me. Second, Brad is supposed to be an experienced gamer, yet he treats his own menu, skills and over all game play like a nub. Very simple concepts such as inventory baffle him. There are other aspects of the game world that are just not easily explained that I just can't discuss without spoilers.
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- Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore
- 01-20-24
Interesting premise
This book is a really slow starter... yawn. And I mean it's really really slow, yawn again... I had my job cut out for me to actually finish the book. I'm not sure when I got to the point where I stopped hating on the Chihuahua but I know that I was over half way done and that's where I finally realized that I was hooked on the book. Usually the inclusion of an amazing animal or beast makes the book all the more endearing, but that was not in the case when it came to Slash the talking chihuahua. For me I just found him annoying and wanted to slap him around. Anyway as soon as I stopped hating on him like said the book really picked up. And I discovered myself admiring Slash as a character in the book... Brad finally found a companion and even though they weren't able to quest together, game rules (don't ask, buy the book) they've learned that they could trust each other.
So if you have the patience of Job go ahead and grab the book.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-05-24
it was humorous
what are these people giving 1 and 2 stars looking for? apparently, not humor.
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- August
- 04-08-24
Nice LitRPG
I don't like chihuahuas in general. Thanks to the author and to the performer of this book for making me really hate them more, but in a good way. I can't imagine a speaking chihuahua to be written or performed better than these two gentlemen did it.
The rest of the book was fun, too. Nice to see LitRPF being a survival-type game rather than just standard fantasy RPG.
Looking forward to book 2!
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- david
- 01-17-24
Don’t recommend
The MC is weak and naive and the dog isn’t much better. I don’t see why people like this book.with that said I only made it half way through before quitting.
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- Randy
- 01-20-24
It was ... okay
No where near as good as Dungeon Crawler Carl. Collyer was an excellent narrator but even he could not improve the lack luster story. I will probably not pursue if this becomes a series.
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- joseph hill
- 01-24-24
a great adventure
dark world, a deadly game, and for Brad and his mascot slash it's for keeps. slash a hilarious talking Chihuahua makes this story great.
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