A Bit of a Stretch
The Diaries of a Prisoner
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Narrated by:
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Chris Atkins
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By:
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Chris Atkins
About this listen
Where can a tin of tuna buy you clean clothes? Which British education system struggles with 50 percent illiteracy? Where do teetotal Muslims attend AA meetings? Where is it easier to get 'spice' than paracetamol? Where does self-harm barely raise an eyebrow?
Welcome to Her Majesty's Prison Service, a creaking and surreal world that has been left to rot for decades in the shadows of polite society. Like most people, documentary-maker Chris Atkins didn't spend much time thinking about prisons. But after becoming embroiled in a dodgy scheme to fund his latest film, he was sent down for five years.
His new home would be HMP Wandsworth, one of the oldest, largest and most dysfunctional prisons in Europe. Horrifying, moving and darkly funny, this is the unvarnished depiction of what he found. With a cast of characters ranging from wily drug dealers to corrupt screws to senior officials bent on endless (and fruitless) reform, this is the reality behind the locked gates. Full of incredible and hilarious stories, A Bit of a Stretch reveals the true scale of our prison crisis and why it is costing us all.
Includes exclusive bonus chapter, available only from Audible.
©2020 Chris Atkins (P)2020 Audible, LtdListeners also enjoyed...
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On March 7, 2004, former SAS soldier and mercenary Simon Mann prepared to take off from Harare International Airport. His destination was Equatorial Guinea; his intention was to remove one of the most brutal dictators in Africa in a privately organized coup d’état. The plot had the tacit approval of Western intelligence agencies, and Mann had already planned, overseen, and won two wars in Angola and Sierra Leone. So why did it go so wrong?
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Average
- By Miriam Majome on 08-23-15
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Dick Francis's Gamble
- By: Felix Francis
- Narrated by: John Keating
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Nicholas “Foxy” Foxton, a former jockey who suffered a career-ending injury, is out for a day at the Grand National races when his friend and coworker Herb Kovak is murdered, execution style, right in front of him—and 60,000 other potential witnesses. Foxton and Kovak were both independent financial advisers at Lyall Black, a firm specializing in extreme-risk investments.
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Frustration
- By Anonymous User on 08-24-11
By: Felix Francis
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Weekends at Bellevue
- By: Julie Holland MD
- Narrated by: Julie Holland MD
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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His name was Joshua Silver. He was 23 years old, educated, and had an impressive vocabulary. The NYPD had found Joshua Silver naked in Times Square, barking like a dog. It was just another night for Julie Holland, the attending doctor in the world famous Bellevue Hospital's psychiatric emergency room.
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An Uneven Memoir
- By A. M. Dalessandro on 09-24-10
By: Julie Holland MD
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Out of a Far Country
- A Gay Son's Journey to God. A Broken Mother's Search for Hope
- By: Christopher Yuan
- Narrated by: Christopher Yuan, Nancy Wu
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Christopher Yuan, the son of Chinese immigrants, discovered at an early age that he was different. He was attracted to other boys. As he grew into adulthood, his mother, Angela, hoped to control the situation. Instead she found that her son and her life were spiraling out of control - and her own personal demons were determined to defeat her. Years of heartbreak, confusion, and prayer followed before the Yuans found a place of complete surrender, which is God's desire for all families.
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phenomenal testimony!
- By Daniel on 06-01-16
By: Christopher Yuan
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A Street Cat Named Bob
- And How He Saved My Life
- By: James Bowen
- Narrated by: Kristopher Milnes
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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When street musician James Bowen found an injured cat curled up in the hallway of his apartment building, he had no idea how much his life was about to change. James was living hand to mouth on the streets of London, barely making enough money to feed himself - the last thing he needed was a pet. Yet, James couldn't resist helping the strikingly intelligent, but very sick animal, whom he named Bob. He slowly nursed Bob back to health and then sent the cat on his way, never imagining that he would see him again. But Bob had other ideas.
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Three Cheers for Bob and James!
- By Gillian on 01-27-14
By: James Bowen
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The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax
- By: Christopher Shevlin
- Narrated by: Finlay Robertson
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government. Teaming up with a suave private investigator, a glamorous granny and the probable love of his life, Jonathon must confront his greatest fears - including talking to girls and balaclava-clad killers - and answer some very difficult questions.
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Great story with LOL moments
- By Bethany on 12-11-20
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The Damage Done
- Twelve Years of Hell in a Bangkok Prison
- By: Warren Fellows
- Narrated by: David Tredinnick
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1978, Warren Fellows was convicted of heroin trafficking between Thailand and Australia. He was sentenced to life imprisonment in the notorious Bang Kwang prison - better known as the Bangkok Hilton. It was the beginning of 12 years of hell in a place where sewer rats and cockroaches are the only nutritious food, where prison guards laugh as they deliver pulverising blows, and where the worst punishment is the khun deo - solitary confinement, Thai style.
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Remarkable -- in every way! Every minute is great
- By Eric Schurr on 12-05-13
By: Warren Fellows
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Red Notice
- A True Story of High Finance, Murder and One Man's Fight for Justice
- By: Bill Browder
- Narrated by: Adam Grupper
- Length: 14 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Red Notice is a searing expose of the wholesale whitewash by Russian authorities of Magnitsky's imprisonment and murder, slicing deep into the shadowy heart of the Kremlin to uncover its sordid truths.
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This is an absolute "YES" as your next read/listen
- By William on 02-07-15
By: Bill Browder
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Flying Drunk
- By: Joseph Balzer
- Narrated by: Joseph Balzer
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Since he was a young boy, Joe Balzer dreamed of flying. He pursued his goal with passion and earned his pilot licenses, piling up hours of flight time with a wide variety of planes and jets with one overarching goal: to one day fly for a major airline. But Joe had a problem. He was an alcoholic and refused to admit to himself that he had a problem. His alcoholism caught up with him in March 1990, when Joe was arrested with two other pilots for flying a commercial airliner while under the influence of alcohol.
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Surprisingly provocative...
- By William on 11-10-09
By: Joseph Balzer
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The Constant Rabbit
- A Novel
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Andrew Wincott
- Length: 12 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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An inimitable blend of satire, fantasy, and thriller, The Constant Rabbit is the latest dazzlingly original foray into Jasper Fforde's ever-astonishing creative genius. England, 2022. There are 1.2 million human-sized rabbits living in the UK. They can walk, talk, drive cars, and like to read Voltaire, the result of an Inexplicable Anthropomorphising Event 55 years before.
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great book!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-07-20
By: Jasper Fforde
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The '86 Fix
- By: Keith A. Pearson
- Narrated by: Andy Cresswell
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Everything wrong with Craig Pelling's life can be traced back to one moment in 1986. But fate hasn't finished with him yet. When a series of unfortunate events pushes him to breaking point, he's thrown a lifeline - a trip back to 1986, to relive one weekend as his 16-year-old self. Does the key to a better future lie in reverting one decision he made over 30 years ago?
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Fun and engaging read!
- By Wendy Hoffman on 11-18-17
By: Keith A. Pearson
What listeners say about A Bit of a Stretch
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Marianne Nelson
- 02-09-20
Could not put it down
Interesting, not a dull moment of life behind bars. It was also great that the author was the reader.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Pat Newell
- 03-06-24
Catastrophic insight
I have no way to compare American prisons to British. but if they r half as bad we r a huge crisis as well. Fascinating as well as deeply concerning… beautifully written & narrator rd.
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- Ashley
- 10-07-24
Great Look into Prison Life
The author does a wonderful job of showing the realities of prison life while simultaneously keeping the book as lighthearted as possible.
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- Nicole M
- 11-29-21
A must read!
This book popped up on my social ads, then i saw it in the airport book shop so i felt it was calling to me!
I couldn’t stop listening! Great book and a real eye opener to the clearly flawed reform system in our country. I was sad to finish it and struggling to fill this void!!
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- Hermes Triggagnosis
- 07-23-22
Never Dull
I was going to start this review by saying this is one of the best audiobooks I have listened to but have decided it is THE best audiobook I have ever listened to. Chris Atkins is an extraordinary writer and an equally impressive performer of his work. His book details the horrific conditions inside Wandsworth Prison in London, England and it's effects on the men unfortunate enough to be housed there. Atkins' superlative vocal skills bring it all to vivid life. Highest recommendation.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 03-06-20
Eye-opening account of UK prison
Great book - bit like the secret barrister but for prison. very concerning and a damming indictment of the existing system.
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- Mark
- 09-08-20
Loved Every Minute of This
Chris Atkins (documentary-maker) did the crime and did the time... and took notes along the way to write and narrate this bang up (ha! prison pun) account of his time in prison. From just before his arrival, we follow his journey through the various wings of HMP Wandsworth and the horrible conditions therein.
Like Atkins, I've never put a whole lot of thought into what prisons are really like. I guess working off the assumption I'll never end up in one (being an honest and stand up kind of guy) the day to day realities aren't something I ever put any time into thinking about.
And fair cop, I don't know if the prison life represented in this book is in anyway representative of prisons in Australia where I am, but I can't help but think there would be a lot of similarities. The rhetoric spun out by those "tough on crime" here in Australia shares much in common with that told in Atkins' story.
Atkins is locked up on a five year stretch, which means he'll serve about 2 and a half inside. The prison conditions are appalling, and get worse and the story unfolds as prison cutbacks and other factors mean many prisoners are locked up with no chance of leaving their cells for days at a time.
He gets in with other "white-collar" criminals and essentially brown-noses his way into a better wing with better conditions, more time out of the cells and more time to talk to his kid on the phone. If I'm being honest, I'd probably do the same thing given the chance so I don't fault him at all for sucking up to the those in charge.
At times heartbreaking, and other times laugh-out-loud funny, Chris spins the tale like the season documentary maker he is. He makes astute observations along the way with the failings in the prison system, with impassioned pleas I hope somebody in power listens to.
There's a famous quote by Fyodor Dostoevsky that goes:
"The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons."
It was something I thought about a lot while listening to this book, and landed on the conclusion that most societies if judged by this standard would fall way short. Indeed, Atkins mentions something similar towards the end of the book.
There are frequent "asides" in the book which are marked with brief interludes of music. These, Atkins explains, are individual sections in the printed book. They're absolutely invaluable to the story so I am glad they found such an interesting way to keep them, and make it obvious when you were dropping out of the "diary" flow and into "explanation" sections.
A fantastic listen that kept me riveted throughout... and gave me new insights into a world so foreign to me yet is such a part of everyday society. Hopefully, it inspires the changes needed to improve the prison systems of the world.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Catherine Kivuva
- 06-07-20
Very well written book
I enjoyed listening to this book. Learnt a lot about prison life in the UK. I highly recommend
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1 person found this helpful