ADHD After Dark
Better Sex Life, Better Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Danny Hughes
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By:
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Ari Tuckman
About this listen
This pioneering book explores the impact of ADHD on a couple's sex life and relationship. It explains how a better sex life will benefit your relationship (and vice versa) and why that's especially important for couples with one partner with ADHD.
Grounded in innovative research, ADHD After Dark draws on data from a survey of over 3000 adults in a couple where one partner has ADHD. Written from the author's unique perspective as both an expert in ADHD and a certified sex therapist, the book describes the many effects of ADHD on couples' sex lives and happiness, covering areas such as negotiating sexual differences, performance problems, low desire, porn, making time for sex, infidelity, and more. The book outlines key principles for a great sex life for couples with ADHD and offers strategies and treatment interventions where specific issues arise.
Written in an accessible and entertaining style, ADHD After Dark offers clear information on sexuality and relationships and is full of valuable advice on how to improve both. This guide will be a must-listen for adults with ADHD, as well as their partners or spouses, and therapists who work with ADHD clients and couples.
©2020 Ari Tuckman (P)2023 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
A resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), this book guides troubled marriages toward an understanding and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it and to look at the disorder in a more positive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages.
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“Just Give Up Now” is the feeling you get.
- By Brent on 02-16-20
By: Melissa Orlov
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ADHD & Us
- A Couple's Guide to Loving and Living With Adult ADHD
- By: Anita Robertson LCSW
- Narrated by: Joana Garcia
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Communicating and thriving in a neurodiverse relationship is possible. ADHD & Us gives couples the tools and strategies they need to connect as well as overcome the unique challenges they face on the road to long-term happiness and satisfaction. Drawing from Anita Robertson's years of practice counseling couples with ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder), this honest and straightforward guide helps couples better understand adult ADHD and how it affects relationships, while also providing the tools necessary for both partners to feel understood and respected.
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Not geared at all for the wife who is the ADHD-spouse
- By Mom, Wife, Horsegirl on 08-04-22
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The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life
- By: J. Russell Ramsay PhD, Ari Tuckman PsyD - foreword by
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook, psychologist and ADHD expert Russell Ramsay offers a comprehensive approach to managing the one-two punch of ADHD and anxiety. Grounded in proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—the gold standard for treating anxiety—you'll find the skills you need to manage your symptoms, so you can be confident, focused, and achieve a much-needed sense of calm.
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Its ok. Better to read this book then listen to it
- By Miscer on 08-02-24
By: J. Russell Ramsay PhD, and others
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Natural Relief for Adult ADHD
- Complementary Strategies for Increasing Focus, Attention, and Motivation with or Without Medication
- By: Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD, Ari Tuckman PsyD - foreword
- Narrated by: Kim Niemi
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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For some people with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, medication may not be the right answer, and for others, medication alone may not be enough. Natural Relief for Adult ADHD offers an accessible, research-based guide on the most effective non-medication treatments for ADHD. If you have ADHD, you may find it hard to stay focused on one thing and have trouble with time management and organization. This book will provide you with sound, complementary strategies to increase your focus, get organized, and stay motivated.
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Good resource for those with ADHD
- By Anonymous User on 07-03-20
By: Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD, and others
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You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?
- A Self-help Audio Program for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
- By: Kate Kelly
- Narrated by: Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo
- Length: 1 hr and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Attention Deficit Disorder, the most common learning and behavioral problem among children, also affects millions of adult Americans, more of which are being diagnosed with this potentially disabling condition every day.
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Not quite what I was needing...
- By Troy on 12-06-10
By: Kate Kelly
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Dirty Laundry
- Why Adults with ADHD Are So Ashamed and What We Can Do to Help
- By: Richard Pink, Roxanne Emery
- Narrated by: Richard Pink, Roxanne Emery
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
What if you stopped feeling ashamed of constantly being late or of getting so hyperfocused on a task that you drop everything else you had to do? How can you as a partner, parent, or friend better understand your neurodivergent loved one’s way of moving through the world? In Dirty Laundry, life partners Rich Pink and Rox Emery unapologetically guide you through the ups and downs of life with ADHD. Every chapter starts with a common symptom of ADHD, like impulsivity or struggles with finances, and an earnest moment from their own lives to show you how they navigate the symptom together.
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Perfect. Should be mandatory reading in middle school for the entirety of our neurodiverse world!!
- By Debra F. Wiens on 03-07-24
By: Richard Pink, and others
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage
- Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
- By: Melissa Orlov
- Narrated by: Laura Jennings
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), this book guides troubled marriages toward an understanding and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it and to look at the disorder in a more positive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages.
-
-
“Just Give Up Now” is the feeling you get.
- By Brent on 02-16-20
By: Melissa Orlov
-
ADHD & Us
- A Couple's Guide to Loving and Living With Adult ADHD
- By: Anita Robertson LCSW
- Narrated by: Joana Garcia
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Communicating and thriving in a neurodiverse relationship is possible. ADHD & Us gives couples the tools and strategies they need to connect as well as overcome the unique challenges they face on the road to long-term happiness and satisfaction. Drawing from Anita Robertson's years of practice counseling couples with ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder), this honest and straightforward guide helps couples better understand adult ADHD and how it affects relationships, while also providing the tools necessary for both partners to feel understood and respected.
-
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Not geared at all for the wife who is the ADHD-spouse
- By Mom, Wife, Horsegirl on 08-04-22
-
The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life
- By: J. Russell Ramsay PhD, Ari Tuckman PsyD - foreword by
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook, psychologist and ADHD expert Russell Ramsay offers a comprehensive approach to managing the one-two punch of ADHD and anxiety. Grounded in proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—the gold standard for treating anxiety—you'll find the skills you need to manage your symptoms, so you can be confident, focused, and achieve a much-needed sense of calm.
-
-
Its ok. Better to read this book then listen to it
- By Miscer on 08-02-24
By: J. Russell Ramsay PhD, and others
-
Natural Relief for Adult ADHD
- Complementary Strategies for Increasing Focus, Attention, and Motivation with or Without Medication
- By: Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD, Ari Tuckman PsyD - foreword
- Narrated by: Kim Niemi
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For some people with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, medication may not be the right answer, and for others, medication alone may not be enough. Natural Relief for Adult ADHD offers an accessible, research-based guide on the most effective non-medication treatments for ADHD. If you have ADHD, you may find it hard to stay focused on one thing and have trouble with time management and organization. This book will provide you with sound, complementary strategies to increase your focus, get organized, and stay motivated.
-
-
Good resource for those with ADHD
- By Anonymous User on 07-03-20
By: Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD, and others
-
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?
- A Self-help Audio Program for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
- By: Kate Kelly
- Narrated by: Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo
- Length: 1 hr and 57 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Attention Deficit Disorder, the most common learning and behavioral problem among children, also affects millions of adult Americans, more of which are being diagnosed with this potentially disabling condition every day.
-
-
Not quite what I was needing...
- By Troy on 12-06-10
By: Kate Kelly
-
Dirty Laundry
- Why Adults with ADHD Are So Ashamed and What We Can Do to Help
- By: Richard Pink, Roxanne Emery
- Narrated by: Richard Pink, Roxanne Emery
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
What if you stopped feeling ashamed of constantly being late or of getting so hyperfocused on a task that you drop everything else you had to do? How can you as a partner, parent, or friend better understand your neurodivergent loved one’s way of moving through the world? In Dirty Laundry, life partners Rich Pink and Rox Emery unapologetically guide you through the ups and downs of life with ADHD. Every chapter starts with a common symptom of ADHD, like impulsivity or struggles with finances, and an earnest moment from their own lives to show you how they navigate the symptom together.
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Perfect. Should be mandatory reading in middle school for the entirety of our neurodiverse world!!
- By Debra F. Wiens on 03-07-24
By: Richard Pink, and others
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Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, Second Edition
- Proven Strategies to Succeed at Work, at Home, and in Relationships
- By: Russell A. Barkley PhD, Christine M. Benton
- Narrated by: William Sarris
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're among the millions of adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you need the latest facts about the disorder and its treatment. You need practical strategies to help develop your strengths and achieve your goals, whether on the job, in family relationships, or in personal pursuits. From renowned ADHD researcher/clinician Russell A. Barkley, this is the book for you. Dr. Barkley takes you through the process of seeking professional help, addresses frequently asked questions about medications and other treatments, and offers a wealth of advice and tips.
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Very frustrating to read when already diagnosed
- By David on 11-30-22
By: Russell A. Barkley PhD, and others
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Delivered From Distraction
- Getting the Most Out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder
- By: Edward M. Hallowell M.D., John J. Ratey M.D.
- Narrated by: Dan Cashman
- Length: 13 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1994, Driven to Distraction sparked a revolution in our understanding of attention deficit disorder. Now a second revolution is under way in the approach to ADD, and the news is great. Drug therapies, our understanding of the role of diet and exercise, even the way we define the disorder, all are changing radically. And doctors are realizing that millions of adults suffer from this condition, though the vast majority of them remain undiagnosed and untreated.
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Read the book
- By Delano on 07-20-10
By: Edward M. Hallowell M.D., and others
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The Disorganized Mind
- Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents
- By: Nancy A. Ratey, John Ratey MD - foreword
- Narrated by: Virginia Wolf
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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For the millions of adults diagnosed with ADHD, The Disorganized Mind will provide expert guidance on what they can do to make the most of their lives. The inattention, time mismanagement, procrastination, impulsivity, distractibility, and difficulty with transitions that often go hand-in-hand with ADHD can be overcome with the unique approach that Nancy Ratey brings to turning these behaviors around.
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how to deal with your ADHD: be rich!
- By Matt Brummett on 12-23-18
By: Nancy A. Ratey, and others
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Spark
- The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain
- By: John J. Ratey MD, Eric Hagerman - contributor
- Narrated by: Allan Robertson
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Did you know you can beat stress, lift your mood, fight memory loss, sharpen your intellect, and function better than ever simply by elevating your heart rate and breaking a sweat? The evidence is incontrovertible: Aerobic exercise physically remodels our brains for peak performance. In Spark, John J. Ratey, MD, embarks upon a fascinating and entertaining journey through the mind-body connection, presenting startling research to prove that exercise is truly our best defense against everything from depression to ADD to addiction to aggression to menopause to Alzheimer's.
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I wish to give it 5 stars but…
- By Anonymous User on 06-24-22
By: John J. Ratey MD, and others
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Loving Someone with Attention Deficit Disorder
- A Practical Guide to Understanding Your Partner, Improving Your Communication, and Strengthening Your Relationship
- By: Susan Tschudi MA
- Narrated by: Kim Niemi
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Your partner's attention deficit disorder (ADD) may not seem like a big deal at first, but eventually, the dynamics surrounding his or her impulsivity, forgetfulness, distractibility, and restlessness can really strain your relationship. You don't want to act like a parent, yet you may feel like you can't rely on your partner to get things done. Loving Someone with Attention Deficit Disorder is your guide to navigating a relationship with someone with ADD so you can create healthy boundaries while remaining sympathetic to your partner's symptoms.
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Very helpful to spouses a person with ADHD
- By Dottie L. on 08-29-24
By: Susan Tschudi MA
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Helping Your Husband with ADHD
- Supportive Solutions for Adult ADD/ADHD
- By: George Sachs PsyD
- Narrated by: Dwight Equitz
- Length: 3 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you ever feel like your husband is an overgrown child? Or a really big teenager that needs to be reminded of everything or he'll forget? Is this the guy you married? What the heck happened to him? Was he always this way? More importantly, is there anything you can do to fix it, or do you have to suffer with his atrocious habits for the rest of your life? This book is an attempt to offer solid education and practical tips to help you deal with the daily frustrations of living with someone who has ADD/ADHD.
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Comes across as sexist and contradictory...
- By R. Colwell on 09-26-17
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Your Brain's Not Broken
- Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD
- By: Tamara Rosier PhD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Your Brain's Not Broken, Dr. Tamara Rosier explains how ADHD affects every aspect of your life. You'll finally understand why you think, feel, and act the way you do. Dr. Rosier applies her years of coaching others to offer you the critical practical tools that can dramatically improve your life and relationships.
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Great book
- By Getting organized on 10-13-21
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ADHD 2.0
- New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction - from Childhood Through Adulthood
- By: Edward M. Hallowell M.D., John J. Ratey M.D.
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Now, most people have heard of ADHD and know someone who may have it. But lost in the discussion of both childhood and adult diagnosis of ADHD is the potential upside: Many hugely successful entrepreneurs and highly creative people attribute their achievements to ADHD. Also unknown to most are the recent research developments, including innovations that give a clearer understanding of the ADHD brain in action.
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Wonderful but beware heavy on product placement
- By Amazingon Customer on 01-13-21
By: Edward M. Hallowell M.D., and others
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How to ADHD
- An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It)
- By: Jessica McCabe
- Narrated by: Jessica McCabe
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Diagnosed with ADHD at age twelve, Jessica struggled with a brain that she didn’t understand. She lost things constantly, couldn’t finish projects, and felt like she was putting more effort in than everyone around her while falling further and further behind. At thirty-two years old—broke, divorced, and living with her mom—Jessica decided to look more deeply into her ADHD challenges. She reached out to experts, devoured articles, and shared her discoveries on YouTube.
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Still forming a official review...
- By Veronica Eiley on 01-15-24
By: Jessica McCabe
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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski, Nicholas Boulton
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
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Usless!!!
- By tammy on 03-04-21
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Come Together
- The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski PhD
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships. Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it.
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Remarkable!
- By Victor Vanzinetti on 10-03-24
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A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD
- Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Through Barriers
- By: Sari Solden MS, Michelle Frank PsyD, Ellen Littman PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Marni Penning
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD is the first guided workbook for women with ADHD designed to break the cycle of negative self-talk and shame-based narratives that stem from the common and limiting belief that brain differences are character flaws. In this unique guide, you'll find a groundbreaking approach that blends traditional ADHD treatment with contemporary treatment methods, such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), to help you untangle yourself from the beliefs that have kept you from reaching your potential in life.
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No practical strategies
- By Dunlay Kobe on 07-05-21
By: Sari Solden MS, and others
What listeners say about ADHD After Dark
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Redpanda77
- 10-31-24
The best resource for ADHD and relationships.
I never really even considered that being ADHD could be interfering with my relationships. I am 46. I have ADHD and I was first diagnosed as "hyper active" in 1985. So I've lived with the "condition" well before I had any intimate relationships and just never thought there would be a connection between it and my romantic life.
But going through this book, I started to see a lot of similarities between myself and the thousands of others who were polled/interviewed by author Ari Tuckman, and I am happy to say that it has really changed my approach to intimacy for the better.
I listened to the entire book and thought it gave great insights on how having ADHD can impact sex and intimacy.
This book is not about "solving" ADHD or a how-to on mitigating its symptoms - and it would be foolish to try and write a book claiming to have perfect solutions for anyone and everyone with ADHD. This book doesn't make such claims and I am not sure why some of the reviews were looking to this book for a list of solutions or dos and don'ts. It's a conversation and an effective one at that.
What this book does do is get into the minutia of where ADHD symptoms can show up in an intimate relationship, and each example shows a wide spectrum of problems and solutions from a variety of people. By taking this varied, analytical path, which was backed by research, Tuckman shows what has worked well and not so well for couples affected by ADHD. He consistently asks the reader to draw conclusions based on what they think would work for them in their situation.
This book brought me a great (and much-needed) feeling of normalcy. That these issues were in fact quite common and can be overcome with work. There were many times in this book where I wanted to pause and text my partner to let them know that we're not alone and that it's okay (although I didn't, mostly because my own humility could only stretch so far and consistently telling someone your normal would be pretty counter effective IMO).
This book also pulls from a lot of leading experts in relationships and sex. I was actually quite surprised at the amount of conventional wisdom included in each chapter that was just good advice for anyone and not just people with ADHD.
There are boring parts. For sure. I slogged through the first few sections. But to be fair, I have ADHD and not every book can start with a series of explosions to keep my attention - so my apologies if I mislead anyone with my early-chapter critiques.
Overall, if you have ADHD or are in a relationship with someone who does, then I highly recommend this book as a great resource for developing your own approach to any interference ADHD may be contributing to your relationships.
Thank you for your time.
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- Ryan S. McDonald
- 10-26-24
The existing reviews do not resonate with me at all!
I am only 1.5 hours in and it is literally changing my marriage and life! Read this book! ~ADHD woman with non-ADHD man.
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- Jason Trager
- 10-18-23
A savagely basic book without stimulating insights
Context: I have ADHD, and I consume between 40-60 audiobooks a year. At its best parts, this book was boring and painful to get through. I found myself having to struggle to finish it, largely because there was no part in which there was an AHA moment, and a complete lack of stimulation. In its worst parts, tuckman displays a casual toxicity while handing out poor sex advice, such as when he suggests that if you don’t like the lube you bought because it irritates your skin, you should give it to someone you don’t like. Another wonderful tidbit - “[Unless you’re a teenager sneaking around, get yourself some grown up lube]”. I found myself shaking my head and wondering what would possess someone who knows about ADHD to actually give this advice to teenagers.
The author includes a lot of sex advice, some of which is decent but all of which is poorly presented. It seems to me that he wanted to write a book about sex to promote his other books, and encourage people to seek stimulant based treatment for their ADHD.
I was going to give this book two stars instead of one because Tuckman repeatedly suggested that someone struggling should seek a qualified therapist, and includes other tidbits that are technically correct. I changed my mind upon reflecting on the toxic parts.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jason P. Stanford
- 11-16-23
TL;DR: ADHD bad. Be less ADHD
The interminable, droning stats don’t lie: ADHD is bad for relationships, relationships are basis for sex, healthy sex is very important for mental health and wellbeing … Therefore, don’t have ADHD. You can completely ignore the banal, predictable “you have to …” and “you should/‘nt …” boilerplate therapist sayings because he doesn’t actually believe them. They have to be said. When you drill down into the findings it’s: don’t get into a relationship with someone who has ADHD because it’s just not going to work. I came to this book looking for some hope. The author has been dishonestly feted on podcasts and interviews as an expert on ADHD and sexual relationships. He absolutely is not. He has book knowledge of both, but no experience. The only person who will get anything from this book is the non-ADHD partner, because it hands them every excuse.
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2 people found this helpful
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- DS
- 01-01-24
Boring Banal Bulls**t
After listening to a podcast featuring the author, I was excited to listen to this book. As someone with ADHD, and an aspiring sexuality educator, it seemed like it would be interesting, relevant, and perhaps even relatable…. Spoiler alert- it is none of these. I love research and statistics
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1 person found this helpful