Showing results by author "Morris Gleitzman" in All Categories

"I'm only going to say this once more," said Dad, "so listen very carefully. We are not ever, under any circumstances, going to Australia." What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are misery guts? Move them to a tropical paradise, decides Keith. That'll cheer them up. It's a brilliant plan, if he can pull it off.

Tři roky a osm měsíců žije devítiletý Felix Salinger v odlehlém katolickém sirotčinci v horách, ačkoli není katolického vyznání. Jeho rodiče nejsou mrtví. Přivedli ho k matce Mince, představené jeptišek, aby se měl dobře. A určitě si pro něj brzy přijdou, jak Felix věří, jen co vyřeší potíže, které mají se svým knihkupectvím. Protože židovští knihkupci to mají v Polsku roku 1942 těžké. Jak moc těžké, to Felix pochopí, až když se v sirotčinci objeví muži s podivnými páskami na rukávech a začnou vyhazovat a pálit židovské knihy z místní knihovny.

Two hours ago, when I walked into this school for the first time, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and, apart from a knot in my guts the size of Tasmania, life was great.

From the author who created the memorable world of Toad Rage comes another highly infectious tale of a brave microscopic hero who is unexpectedly propelled from his familiar nostril-home into the big wide dangerous world. In Aristotle's Nostril Morris features a whole new cast of funny and gross characters that kids will love.

"Limpy has a dream. A dream where cane toads and humans live happily together. Surely, this time Limpy will be able to show humans how nice cane toads can be? After all, it is Christmas. And isn't Christmas a time of peace and goodwill to all men? And cane toads? A hilarious story of one cane toad's quest to experience the true meaning of Christmas.

It's not easy being part of Ginger's family when you're allergic to cats; three of them love cats and five of them are cats. Now, the school principal is trying to kill Ginger's new best friend, a fierce-looking stray dog. Can Ginger expose Mr. Napier for the phoney he is?

Bumface! That's who Angus wants to be. He dreams of being bold, brave, wild and free. Like the pirate in the stories he tells his younger brother and sister. Instead, Angus is just plain tired from changing nappies and wiping food off walls. His mum calls him Mr. Dependable, but Angus can barely cope. Another baby would be a disaster. So Angus comes up with a bold and brave plan to stop her getting pregnant. That's when he meets Rindi And Angus thought he had a problem before...

Rowena Batts has enough problems in her life without adopting a crazy cockatoo. She's just splattered two hundred grown-ups with jelly and custard, and her dad's getting married to her teacher. But Sticky the cockatoo turns out to be just the friend she needs.

What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are past it? Get them into shape, decides Keith. And find them new partners. It's a brilliant plan, but he'll need help.

"Doug's not like one of those posh guardian angels in the Bible," Gran used to say. "He's invisible, he doesn't do violence and he's very busy, so if you need him you've got to ask." I'm asking you now, Doug. Mitch needs help. Everyone hates him, but he's got a plan that'll make him the most popular bloke in town. If it doesn't kill him. He hopes his guardian angel is listening.

Eleven-year-old Grace only knows one world: the world of her mum and dad and twin brothers, and the strict religious community they belong to. But when her dad is thrown out of the church for asking questions, Grace is torn. How can she stay in the church and keep her family together?

What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are worry warts? Make them rich, decides Keith. Very very rich. It's a brilliant plan, if it works.

Thomas is eleven and lives with his mum and dad and big sister, Alisha. He was a pretty normal kid until two weeks ago, when he discovered he had developed a startling new ability. Every time anyone tells a lie, Thomas develops a violent itch in his nipples. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and gets Thomas into all sorts of trouble.

Save 10 lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

Even more desperate to save his family from ending up on his stack of squashed relatives, Limpy takes his quest to the airwaves. When a TV cooking show kidnaps Goliath to be their main ingredient, Limpy sets out to rescue him and ends up on camera himself. Can Limpy use his 15 minutes of fame to get humans to lay off the cane-toad squashing? Or will that be a recipe for disaster?

Like many of his mates from the bush, Frank Ballantyne is keen to join the grand adventure and do his bit. Specially as a chestfull of medals might impress the currently unimpressed parents of his childhood sweetheart. So Frank ups his age and volunteers with his horse, Daisy...and his dad. In the deserts of Egypt and Palestine he experiences all the adventure he ever wanted, and a few things he wasn't expecting. Heartbreak, love, and the chance to make the most important choice of his life.

It starts off as a normal week for Rowena. A car full of stewed apples. A police call. A desperate struggle to keep Dad off national TV.

Birds. Lots of birds. The people of the world are puzzled. Their feathered friends are trying to tell them something, and they're not sure what it is. Then a boy and his pet budgie discover the secret. Join Jay and Clyde, and their friends Maxine and Dora, on an exciting, funny, risky journey to save their families. And every other family too.

Brilliantly funny short stories for middle school listeners from the ever-popular Morris Gleitzman, in the hilarious style of Give Peas a Chance, Pizza Cake and Snot Chocolate! These short stories are equally funny and hopeful – at a time when we need as much hope and humour as we can get.

Like many of his mates from the bush, Frank Ballantyne is keen to join the grand adventure and do his bit. Specially as a chest full of medals might impress the currently unimpressed parents of his childhood sweetheart. So Frank ups his age and volunteers with his horse, Daisy...and his dad. In the deserts of Egypt and Palestine he experiences all the adventure he ever wanted and a few things he wasn't expecting. Heartbreak, love and the chance to make the most important choice of his life.