The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
The Hitman's Guide, Book 7
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Narrated by:
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Michael Ferraiuolo
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By:
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Alice Winters
About this listen
Ellis
Why is it that the first attractive man to look my way mistakes me for a bad guy, stuffs me in the trunk of his car, and ships me off to an island where I’m positive the only thing waiting for me is my own murder?
I mean... yeah, Tavish is charismatic and fun, but did I mention the whole trunk thing? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention his peculiar group of friends who keep promising to “help” me, but why are they running around with masks and weapons while praising fences?
Tavish and his friends are actually the bad guys, aren’t they?
If I (somehow) look past all of that… Tavish really does seem like a nice guy. He’s caring, funny, and willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s become quite clear that if I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m not going to be able to do it without him.
Tavish
So maybe I mixed things up a wee bit and took Ellis on a tiny road trip that he might not have been privy to. Ellis doesn’t seem to overly mind. I mean, yeah, maybe he tried blinding me with aerosol spray… or maybe I was just blinded by his handsome smile.
The problem is that Ellis is in danger, but he knows nothing about this world he’s been thrown into. He’s sweet, kind, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I’m prepared to protect it at all costs.
Contains a charming man who lays on a Scottish accent to get his way, a bewildered vet tech who’s wondering why everyone around him is so strange, a parrot who may or may not want to steal Tavish’s man, and the Hitman’s Guide crew up to their usual hijinks.
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All newly minted pediatrician Jamie Malek wants is to borrow a roasting pan for Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, that requires her to interact with Marc—her best friend’s troublemaking brother, who’s now a tech billionaire. He’s the one who got away. She’s the one who broke his heart. Outside, a howling blizzard. Inside, a crackling fire. Suddenly, being snowbound with the man she never expected to see again might not be such a bad way to spend a winter’s night.
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Endless insecurities and translation fails
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-12-24
By: Ali Hazelwood
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Merry Ever After
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
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Evie Crowe is starting over in a strange town with her newborn, and men are the furthest thing from her mind. If only the quiet, hulking farmer, Luke Ward, would stop coming into the thrift shop and piquing her reluctant interest. Evie wants to stay single all the way—she can’t trust anything more than friends-with-holiday-benefits. But Luke is in it for the long haul. He’s fixed on making this a Christmas Evie will remember forever. If she gives him a chance.
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An ode to his monster Yule log.
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-13-24
By: Tessa Bailey
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Den of Vipers
- By: K.A. Knight
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Ryder, Garrett, Kenzo, and Diesel - The Vipers. Their deals are as sordid as their business, and their reputation is enough to bring a grown man to his knees, forcing him to beg for mercy. They are not people you mess with, yet my dad did. The old man ran up a debt with them and then sold me to cover his losses. Yes, sold me. They own me now. I’m theirs in every sense of the word. But I’ve never been meek and compliant.
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Shrek
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Holiday Hideaway
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- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
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Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
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I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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All by My Elf
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- By: Olivia Dade
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
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Nina and William are underpaid adjunct professors at the same university, where winter break is no break at all: ’tis the season to make extra money. When their holiday side hustle has them stranded by a blinding blizzard in the middle of nowhere, there’s nothing to do but cuddle up for warmth and play a game of Never Have I Ever to pass the time. But in the game of love, secrets never stay secret for long…
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A cool, considerate romance
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-13-24
By: Olivia Dade
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Merriment and Mayhem
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
- By: Alexandria Bellefleur
- Narrated by: Amelie Griffin
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When Everleigh Dangerfield’s baking disaster necessitates a call to 911, firefighter Griffin Brantley douses the flames in the kitchen, but the ones he stokes in Everleigh are an entirely different story. Unfortunately, Everleigh’s only visiting and doesn’t do casual hookups, no matter how smoldering the temptation. But Everleigh’s holiday mishaps have just begun. And Griffin is seemingly always on call. If Everleigh is game for a change of plans, he can give her the merriest Christmas of her life.
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Shoulda been Merriment, Mayhem, and Mouth
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-12-24
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Only Santas in the Building
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
- By: Alexis Daria
- Narrated by: Ruby Corazon
- Length: 1 hr and 31 mins
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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, especially for a comic book illustrator whose late-night fantasies become real in a festive and flirty short story by bestselling author Alexis Daria. All Evie Cruz wants for Christmas is a nap. And maybe some ornaments for her naked Christmas tree. And while she’s making a list, she wouldn’t mind unwrapping her sexy upstairs neighbor like a present. Luckily, the building’s Santa-themed party and a surprise sprig of mistletoe give her just the opening she needs to make all her wishes come true.
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Channeling Mariah Carey’s Xmas spirit
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-12-24
By: Alexis Daria
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How to Lose a Guy Before Christmas
- By: A.J. Pine
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Jason Clarke
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
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After a snowstorm grounds her flight, Lucy makes a last-ditch effort to get home for Christmas using a rideshare app. She thinks she’ll be taking a road trip with a stranger...but the guy who shows up is someone she knows all too well. He’s the hookup she ghosted a few months ago, and now she’ll be stuck in a car with him for the most awkward road trip of her life.
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Nearly pitch perfect holiday romcom novella
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-17-23
By: A.J. Pine
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What listeners say about The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- K. G. Barcham
- 11-11-24
Wonderful from start to finish
The only thing I dislike about this book, or any of Alice Winters books, is that they end.
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- N
- 11-30-24
Laughed Out Loud
This was a delightfully entertaining book in the Hitman series. Leland’s banter is annoying at times but when the story can make me laugh out loud, it’s a good one.
Listen through to the credits, even those are funny.
Fabulous narration!!!!
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- Maryellen in Metsland
- 11-09-24
Zany perfection!
I adore Alice Winters and have read / listened to nearly all of her books. This book might be her best one yet! Come for the hijinx and controlled chaos and stay for the endearing charms of Tavish and the surprisingly tender love story at the center of this zany tale.
Tour de force performance by Michael F. Don’t hit stop until you hear the studio cut of Leland’s murder song. 😂 Five huge stars all around. Well done!
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- C K
- 11-06-24
Interesting
It was really fun to read a story about these familiar characters from the perspective of a new person, one who was so different from everyone else in the cast. I hope we get to see more of Ellis and Tavish in future books!
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- KTee
- 11-12-24
Excellent
Loved every minute of it and I can’t wait to hear more, thank you for lifting my spirits
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- Sharon L
- 11-11-24
loved it so much I did not want it to be over
So many funny scenes. loved Ellis, he was so cute, innocent and yet he fit with the group. Michael did such a great job narrating this, and absolutely loved the murder song at the end. More please
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- Kindle Customer
- 11-30-24
I can not stop smiling.
Another great book full of humor and wonderfully neurotic and somewhat normal characters. From the beginning to the end my smile has not disappeared. The entire Hitman series is great. All the books of Alice Winter that I have listened to so far provide a wonderful listening pleasure.
I enjoy the way her brain works when creating a book. Keep up this creative way of writing.
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- Kindle Customer M
- 11-01-24
murder murder song it was fantastic
I really like the view of the normal person he was so normal that they thought he was a alien or a inside man it was a fun read can't wait for the NXT one
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- abigail david
- 11-06-24
Alice winters did it again !!🤩
Every time I’m thinking about Alice winters stories it gives me great joy because it’s so funny. It’s so creative and I just can’t believe how her mind works.
These characters no matter how crazy they get is just makes sense because the world she creates makes me wanna live in it.
Every time I hear about a book she released I buy it right away with the credit or cash. It doesn’t matter because I need her books !!
thank you for your hard work can’t wait for the next one.
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- Monica L.
- 11-04-24
I love it
the song at the end it thee best and I can't wait until the next book !!!
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