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THE HEART IS A CHOCKING HAZARD
- Narrated by: Nick Hornby, Full Cast
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
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Publisher's summary
The Emmy award-winning former executive producer of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report has assembled a stellar lineup of men who have one thing in common: all have been dumped...and are willing to share their pain and the lessons learned.
Relationships end. And in almost all of them, even the most callow among us take something away. This is a book about that something, whether it be major life lessons, like "If you lie, you will get caught," simple truths like, "Flowers work," or something wholly unique like, "Watch out for the high strung brother in the military." This anthology will be comprised of longer and shorter pieces, drawn from an array of impressive celebrities, writers and public figures. Some pieces may be a paragraph in length while others will be full-blown essays. All of them will be about that salient something men take away from a failed relationship. Yes, men learn.
This is not a touchy-feely book. This is not a self-help book. This is a book packed with smart, funny and insightful stories from men you probably thought never got dumped, or if they did, would never admit it.
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Story
As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends
- Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
- By: Courtney Robertson, Deborah Baer
- Narrated by: Courtney Robertson
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Complete with stories, tips, tricks, and advice from your favorite Bachelor alumni, and filled with all the juicy details Courtney fans and foes alike want to know, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends is a must-listen for every member of Bachelor nation.
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I didn't come here to make friends
- By Carolyn on 06-10-15
By: Courtney Robertson, and others
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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All You Could Ask For
- A Novel
- By: Mike Greenberg
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Happily married Brooke discovers her loving husband has led a separate life with…another wife. Newlywed Samantha learns of her husband's cheating heart when she finds the goods on his computer. High-powered career woman Katherine works with heartbreaker Phillip, the man who hurt her early on in her career. Brooke, Samantha, and Katherine don't know one another, but their stories are about to intertwine in ways no one could have imagined. And all three are about to discover the power of friendship to conquer adversity.
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Annoyed by Hidden Theme
- By parsnip on 08-12-13
By: Mike Greenberg
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
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2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
What listeners say about THE HEART IS A CHOCKING HAZARD
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Tracy
- 04-08-09
Bitter maybe, BUT bitter is funny.
It may not be for everyone, but compared to some of the other books I've downloaded lately, this one was a winner. This one was well worth a book credit. Don't expect to be draw any important life lessons from this, but just sit back and laugh a little.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Lori J. Rosendahl
- 08-29-08
Keep listening past the intro!
There is some very funny stuff here. The intro is not one of them. The other disappointing performance is Steven Colbert. But, other than that, I really enjoyed this book. It is not all funny though. But, it rings very honest.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Lisa
- 12-16-22
Hysterical
Listened to this book on a recent road trip. Multiple stories of dating history read by each of the authors . Lots of laughs and very entertaining.
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- Carla
- 09-23-12
Loved it!!
What made the experience of listening to Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me the most enjoyable?
Very funny!
What other book might you compare Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me to and why?
Reminded me of David Sedaris
What does the narrator bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
I liked hearing the authors read, it felt like they were telling me their stories.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
yes
Any additional comments?
great!
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2 people found this helpful
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- stephanie mitchum
- 07-16-21
Exactly what I signed up for
Is this book cheesy 50% of the time, yes. are some of the performances here a bit lackluster, yes. However I feel this is what encapsulates the purpose of the book, to give honest renditions of people's lessons learned from the relationship history. In fact, some stories appear to have no lesson, except that of just being an expierence for the narrator. wish it was long, but other than that fantastic
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- Saint Sinner
- 06-28-13
Funny because it's true
My wife and I listened to this book on a trip. She does not listen to books. This has lead me to buy several books twice. With this we listened from start to end with laughter as well as a few times to pause where we related our own stories to one another.
One thing to know about this book is that it isn't "funny" book per se. It gets it's humor from stories that are able to be related to.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Jill
- 11-14-09
Loads of Laughs
A humorous series of essays entitled "Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me" had me rolling around laughing. A combination of honesty and wit create unforgettable stories you want to share with your friends. However, some of these essays have the tendency to be a little ronchy and so I wouldn't recommend reading it aloud to your mother. She may not have the same uncalloused appreciation you have developed.
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Overall
- Joshua
- 05-27-10
Funny
Listened to it twice, once with a girlfriend who doesn't even like books on tape, and she even loved it. Love how the authors, are the narrators (mostly.)
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Overall
- Joe G.
- 11-08-09
not interesting or funny
booooooring
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- Dahl
- 09-17-11
Learning how guys think
As a woman who's been married for 30 years to two different men and is now approaching 4 years of singlehood, I listened to this book with the hope of better understanding the male side of a relationship, the illuminations perhaps enabling my next liaison to be a long and satisfying one. After finishing "Things I've Learned...", with great sadness, I lament I'm not a lesbian.
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7 people found this helpful