Failure to Launch
Why Your Twentysomething Hasn't Grown Up...and What to Do About It
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Narrated by:
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Stephen Graybill
About this listen
From an expert in adolescent psychology comes a groundbreaking, timely, and necessary guide for parents of the 2.2 million young adults in America who are struggling to find their way in the world.
In Dr. Mark McConville's decades of experience as a family clinical psychologist, perhaps no problem has been more fraught than that of young adults who fail to successfully transition from adolescence into adulthood. These kids - technically adults - just can't get it together: They can't hold a job, they struggle to develop meaningful relationships, and they often end up back in their parents' spare bedroom or on the couch. In fact, studies show that one in four Americans aged 25 to 34 neither work nor attend school, and it's a problem that spans all socioeconomic and geographic boundaries.
McConville investigates the root causes of this problem: Why are modern kids "failing to launch" in ever-increasing numbers? The key, McConville has found, is that they are struggling with three critical skills that are necessary to make the transition from childhood to adulthood - finding a sense of purpose, developing administrative responsibility, and cultivating interdependence. In Failure to Launch, McConville breaks these down into achievable, accessible goals and offers a practical guide for the whole family, to help parents instill those skills in their young adults - and to get their kids into the real world, ready to start their lives.
©2020 Mark McConville (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"McConville's style is welcoming, and his advice is reassuring. Parents facing these challenges (and there are plenty) will snap this up." (Booklist)
"Mark McConville offers a guilt-free look at why your kid is failing to launch, and explains how to tweak your parent-child interactions so that your kid becomes motivated to slide into the driver's seat of their own life. Empathetic, wise, and frank. Truly a must-read for parents of struggling twentysomethings." (Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult)
"Growing up isn’t what it used to be, says psychologist Mark McConville - and because of that, parents need a new parenting tool-kit to help their kids transition into adulthood with strength, resilience, and grace. The good news: even young people who seem “stuck” can be taught the skills they need to thrive in this important stage of life. Failure to Launch is essential reading for any parent whose child is struggling to find his or her way in the world." (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
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By: Ronald F. Ferguson, and others
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The Self-Driven Child
- The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
- By: William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids - and on ourselves - but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board? A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no real control over their lives.
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Practical, wise, and well researched
- By Andrew on 07-12-18
By: William Stixrud PhD, and others
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The Available Parent
- Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens
- By: John Duffy
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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We have a tendency today to over-parent, micromanage, and underappreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures - he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever....
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Parenting teens can be much less stressful!
- By Kathi on 06-12-14
By: John Duffy
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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All the Rage
- Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
- By: Darcy Lockman
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status.
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Must read for men
- By Brooks Rainey Pearson on 06-12-19
By: Darcy Lockman
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The Entitlement Trap
- How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership
- By: Richard Eyre, Linda Eyre
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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New York Times–bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they’ve synthesized their vast experience into an essential blueprint for instilling children with a sense of ownership, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. At the heart of their plan is a “Family Economy”, complete with a family bank, checkbooks for the kids, and a system of responsibilities that teaches children to earn money for the things they want.
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Best Parenting Book Ever!
- By Paul on 07-11-15
By: Richard Eyre, and others
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness
- Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy
- By: Edward M. Hallowell MD
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Edward M. Hallowell, MD, father of three and a clinical psychiatrist, has thought long and hard about what makes children feel good about themselves and the world they live in. Now, in The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, he shares his findings with all of us who care about children. We don't need statistical studies or complicated expert opinions to raise children. What we do need is love, wonder, and the confidence to trust our instincts.
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Love this book and will be listening again
- By Jenny on 09-15-22
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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Helped to bring clarity and direction
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If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years.
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Some good points but...
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Way too Religious, thinking about returning it.
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Helped to bring clarity and direction
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Some good points but...
- By Millie on 06-15-19
By: Jim Burns PhD
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Smart but Scattered - and Stalled
- 10 Steps to Help Young Adults Use Their Executive Skills to Set Goals, Make a Plan, and Successfully Leave the Nest
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In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large.
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
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Clarity of presentation.
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You're Not Done Yet
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Two leading adolescent and young adult mental health experts provide a practical and compassionate path to parents combatting the worry and frustrating isolation many feel when supporting their twentysomethings. Hibbs and Rostain explain when and how adulthood markers changed, and invite parents and young adults to learn new, more effective ways of communicating with each other.
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Helpful advice
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Rules of Estrangement
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Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied.
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Excellent book for the parent's perspective
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The Gift of Failure
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3 hours in. 3 hours of other people's problems.
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- How to Be an Adult
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
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How to Raise Your Adult Children
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There are many books out there to teach you how to handle your children after they graduate from diapers, but none tells you how to proceed once they graduate from high school. As new patterns emerge in the lives of young adults, parents find that their grown children have bigger problems than they did just a few years ago. How to Raise Your Adult Children is a manual for anxious moms and dads.
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Condescending
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On the surface, capable teenage boys may look lazy. But dig a little deeper, writes child psychologist Adam Price in He's Not Lazy, and you'll often find conflicted boys who want to do well in middle and high school but are afraid to fail and so do not try. This audiobook can help you become an ally with your son as he discovers greater self-confidence and accepts responsibility for his future.
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Good but contradicting
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When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart
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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong - was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?"
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Glad I stumbled upon this…
- By Pamela J Hoyes on 10-03-23
By: Joel Young MD, and others
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Done with the Crying
- Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, MA, helps parents break free from emotional pain - and move forward in their own lives. As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over pain.
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Take your life back and let healing begin
- By Jennifer Gill on 05-26-18
By: Sheri McGregor
What listeners say about Failure to Launch
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bugjce1
- 01-05-23
Thank you
Thank you for your insight! It should be read by both sides of the fence!
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- James Duke
- 06-03-23
Do you know us??
Within the first three minutes of this book it felt as if I was speaking directly to Dr.Conville. His insight and advice into how best to help your “transitioners” is so clear & concise. I will listen to this again w/ my husband as we travel-I need this to become second nature. My only wish is that I had read it many years ago!!
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- TWW
- 07-22-21
Thank you.
I was looking for a way to make sense of things going on with my 21 year old son. This book was a Godsend. It clarified for me a lot of what he is going through and gave practical shifts for my husband and I to take that can make a difference. I recommend this book to anyone challenged to understand the difficult transition from adolescent to adulthood.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Heidi R
- 06-21-21
Thought provoking & informative
As a parent struggling to raise two sons who have had issues because of Type 1 Diabetes & Alcohol & drug addiction, this was an excellent book that focuses on the young adult years. Both points of view, ( the parent & the young adult) are explored clearly which is objective & helpful.
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1 person found this helpful
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- amazon buyer
- 10-10-23
Great book that shifted my thinking about my son.
I highly recommend this book. I found it a great turning point for me. I learned to understand my son better and it helped me to learn how to navigate the tricky relationship with my son and myself.
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- Tara
- 09-17-20
I'm so grateful to have found this book!!
I'm so grateful to have found this book!! I am already implementing the recommendations and am seeing progress.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-07-22
A great place to start
I was feeling some type of way about my son and him leaving the nest. I needed to hear what other parents may have dealt with. I’m glad that I didn’t move hastily. Good advice is given in this book. Thank you Mark.
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- P. Zimmerman
- 05-14-22
Good advice here
The doctor provided good advice. Be brave enough to follow it. That's the hard part.
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- Brenda Cleveland
- 02-26-22
Great book for introducing problem.
I will continue with this study. My problem took years to develop and it will probably take years to resolve. I will be searching for more answers. This book sure changed my thinking about my "failure to launch" adult.
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- M.E. in NC
- 11-15-22
Don’t let the title scare you off
This book has great advice and insight into young adults, whether yours is in your basement playing video games or struggles with certain aspects of “adulting.” Without judgment or preaching, the author lets you know what’s going on inside that young adult’s mind and how to help.
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