Deific Dozen
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Narrated by:
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Tim Welch
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By:
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Brian Orlowski
About this listen
It has long been suspected that aliens have watched over us, interacted with us, and even tinkered with our nether regions. But until now, no one was brave enough to bring forth the truth about the connection between modern religion and aliens from another galaxy! Was Jesus given secret information from travelers from outer space? Were most of the major discoveries throughout history, like the recipe for KFC chicken, provided by spacemen? Who are the Twelvists and what is this secret society hiding? Why are Scientologists so nutty? All these questions are almost answered and semi-logically explained in an enlightening, thrilling, and comedic journey anyone with half a brain should listen to.
©2013 Brian Orlowski/AuthorMike Ink (P)2014 AuthorMike Ink AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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Red Stevens has died, and the older members of his family receive their millions with greedy anticipation. But a different fate awaits young Jason, whom Stevens, his great-uncle, believes may be the last vestige of hope in the family. Jason does not become an instant millionaire. What Stevens does give Jason leads to The Ultimate Gift. Young and old will take this timeless tale to heart.
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A Delightful Story Well Told!
- By Daniel Wms on 07-14-15
By: Jim Stovall
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City of Dark Magic
- A Novel
- By: Magnus Flyte
- Narrated by: Natalie Gold
- Length: 13 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Once a city of enormous wealth and culture, Prague was home to emperors, alchemists, astronomers, and, as it’s whispered, hell portals. When music student Sarah Weston lands a summer job at Prague Castle cataloging Beethoven’s manuscripts, she has no idea how dangerous her life is about to become. Prague is a threshold, Sarah is warned, and it is steeped in blood. Soon after Sarah arrives, strange things begin to happen.
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So promising and yet...
- By Tyler on 01-19-13
By: Magnus Flyte
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The Eighth Guardian
- Annum Guard, Book 1
- By: Meredith McCardle
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 11 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Amanda Obermann. Code name Iris. It’s Testing Day. The day that comes without warning, the day when all juniors and seniors at The Peel Academy undergo a series of intense physical and psychological tests to see if they’re ready to graduate and become government operatives. Amanda and her boyfriend Abe are top students, and they’ve just endured thirty-six hours of testing. But they’re juniors and don’t expect to graduate. That’ll happen next year, when they plan to join the CIA - together.
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Great premise for a storyline, weak execution
- By Sherrilyn Dolman on 05-15-14
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Feint of Art
- An Annie Kincaid Mystery
- By: Juliet Blackwell, Hailey Lind
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Annie's got bad news for her ex-boyfriend, curator Ernst Pettigrew: the snooty Brock Museum's new 15-million-dollar Caravaggio painting is as fake as a three-dollar bill. And the same night Annie makes her shattering appraisal, the janitor on duty is killed - and Ernst disappears. To top it all off, a well-known art dealer has absconded with multiple Old Master drawings, leaving yet more forgeries in their places. Finding the originals - and pocketing the reward money - will get Annie's new landlord off her back.
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Huge Juliet Blackwell / Xe Sands Fan
- By Sandra Dunn on 11-18-17
By: Juliet Blackwell, and others
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Escape from Asylum
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: James Fouhey
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Ricky Desmond has been through this all before. If he could just get through to his mother, he could convince her that he doesn't belong at Brookline. From the man who thinks he can fly to the woman who killed her husband, the other patients are nothing like him; all he did was lose his temper just a little bit, just the once. But when Ricky is selected by the sinister Warden Crawford for a very special program - a program that the warden claims will not cure him but perfect him - Ricky realizes that he may not be able to wait for his mom a second longer.
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Wow!
- By Kindle Customer on 08-28-20
By: Madeleine Roux
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Cash City
- By: Jonathan Fredrick
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It is an obsession that has haunted Nick Malick for seven years - to avenge the murder of his young son. In his gut Malick knows who did it. But the psychopath is in prison for another crime, scheduled to be released in a year. All Malick has to do is wait...and survive.
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Great New Series
- By Lia on 08-21-17
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Elemental Mating
- By: Milly Taiden
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne, Tess Irondale
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Brilliant scientist Melinda Caster has discovered a new strain of the Zika virus that stimulates synaptic growth in embryos, causing neuron development beyond normal human levels. Way beyond, like ESP-levels of cognitive abilities. When the lab is broken into, Melinda realizes that someone has been keeping tabs on her research and wants it for themselves. A happy accident destroys critical data before it can fall into the wrong hands, but unfortunately that makes Melinda and her perfect memory a target.
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Good story!
- By NancyB on 11-27-17
By: Milly Taiden
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Kingdom Keepers: The Return Book One Disney Lands
- Kingdom Keepers: The Return, Book 1
- By: Ridley Pearson
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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With the defeat of the Overtakers behind them, the five teenagers known as the Kingdom Keepers should be celebrating. By all accounts they saved Disneyland from certain destruction. Why then did their mentor leave one last puzzle for them to decipher? The Keepers must solve a puzzle of the past, or be crushed under an evil that makes the Overtakers seem like gentle souls.
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Why do I keep buying these?
- By Rebecca on 04-04-16
By: Ridley Pearson
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Wolves
- I Bring the Fire Series #1
- By: C. Gockel
- Narrated by: Barrie Kreinik
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In the middle of America, Amy Lewis is on her way to her grandma's house. She's being chased by a very bad wolf. Galaxies away, Loki is waking up in a prison cell, strangely without a hangover and with no idea what he's done wrong - this time, anyway. But he does know that Thor is hiding something, Odin is up to something wicked, and there seems to be something that he's forgotten....
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Well researched, fun romp through Norse mythology
- By Kate Sterling on 01-09-17
By: C. Gockel
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Nightshades
- A Paranormal Thriller (Nightshades, Book 1)
- By: Melissa F. Olson
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex McKenna is the new Special Agent in Charge of the Chicago office of the Bureau of Preternatural Investigations - the division tasked with investigating crimes involving shades. Or vampires, as they're more widely known. Children have been going missing, and agents are routinely being slaughtered. It's up to McKenna, and some unlikely allies, to get to the bottom of the problem, and find the kids before it's too late.
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Fun, with enough novelty to be interesting
- By S. Yates on 01-27-18
By: Melissa F. Olson
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Termination Orders
- By: Leo J. Maloney
- Narrated by: John Pruden
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of bestsellers by Robert Ludlum and Vince Flynn, Termination Orders introduces Dan Morgan, a retired black-ops agent who must return to duty to thwart a deadly international conspiracy.
Once a trained killer for the CIA, Dan Morgan has built a new life for himself. But when he receives a desperate plea from his former black-ops partner - reportedly killed in a foreign battle zone - he flies in to help. It should be a routine mission, extracting a human asset from the region, but it’s not - it’s an ambush.
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Profanity
- By Jamie Frasier on 09-04-20
By: Leo J. Maloney
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Don't Turn Around
- By: Michelle Gagnon
- Narrated by: Merritt Hicks
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old Noa has been a victim of the system ever since her parents died. Now living off the grid and trusting no one, she uses her computer-hacking skills to stay safely anonymous and alone. But when she wakes up on a table in an empty warehouse with an IV in her arm and no memory of how she got there, Noa starts to wish she had someone on her side. Enter Peter Gregory. A rich kid and the leader of a hacker alliance, Peter needs people with Noa's talents on his team. Especially after a shady corporation called AMRF threatens his life in no uncertain terms.
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Doesn't hold up for adult listeners
- By M. Reen on 01-03-13
By: Michelle Gagnon
What listeners say about Deific Dozen
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Umberto Putrino
- 12-10-14
Funniest Read in a While
Any additional comments?
The Deific Dozen was one of the funniest books I have read in a while. Through author Brian Orlowski’s humorous jabs at Scientology and all the situations the characters find themselves in, I was kept captivated throughout the book. On the outside it is not hard to make the connection and see that The Da Vinci Code is being parodied here and some of the characters represent actual celebrity Scientologists like Tom Crows and John Trafalgar who most likely represent Tom Cruise and John Travolta.
The book begins with Randall Teodi, a curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, being fatally shot one morning at the museum. Randall’s daughter, Violet also works at the museum with her father and is present when he is shot. Before Randall passes away he tells Violet of a secret and to look for a Grant Piosto who can help figure out what he needs to reveal. Once united, the comedic duo sets off in search of clues about alien involvement with religion that are hidden in many works of art. Their adventure takes them to Europe and back to the United States and every clue presents a new funny situation.
In the end I thought it was a great read and my favorite characters definitely had to be Tom Crows and John Trafalgar. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes parodies on modern issues and a good laugh.
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Overall
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- Book Review Concierge
- 04-07-14
Engaging, Intelligent, and Sophisticated
Would you consider the audio edition of Deific Dozen to be better than the print version?
I haven't read the print version.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Deific Dozen?
The opening was most memorable. The introduction of the senators torture and the comedy splashed in was exciting.
Have you listened to any of Tim Welch’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
This is my first listen to Tim Welch. He was excellent, and expertly delivered this novel in a great engaging fashion.
Who was the most memorable character of Deific Dozen and why?
Violet Stern was excellent.
Any additional comments?
A great parody that mocks the Dan Brown’s Professor Langdon Series (Angels and Demons). Brian Orlowski did a great job writing this novel, which was very smart, sophisticated and out-right funny in many places.
All hell breaks loose when Violet Stern’s dying father encourages her to find an Art History (and sometimes adjunct professor), Grant. She finds him at a Sheraton Hotel in New York City, and they report to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where her father, the curator, had died. Clues begin to unravel that takes Grant and Violet on a tour of artifacts that span the world.
Anyone looking to listen to a great mystery, by a narrator (Tim Welch) that effectively delivers the punch lines, then the Deific Dozen should be a helluva listen for you.
Review by Rahiem Brooks author of Con Test.
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