Beforelife
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Narrated by:
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Ash Rizi
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By:
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Randal Graham
About this listen
It’s okay if you don’t believe in the afterlife. The people who live there don’t believe in you, either.
What if you went to heaven and no one there believed in Earth? This is the question at the heart of Beforelife, a satirical novel that follows the postmortem adventures of widower Ian Brown, a man who dies in the book’s first moments and finds himself in an afterlife where no one else believes in “pre-incarnation”. The other residents of the afterlife have mysteriously forgotten their premortem lives and think that anyone who remembers a mortal life is suffering from a mental disorder called the “Beforelife Delusion”.
None of that really matters to Ian. All he wants to do is reunite with Penelope, his wife. Scouring the afterlife for any sign of her, Ian accidentally winds up on a quest to prove that the beforelife is real. This puts him squarely into the crosshairs of some of history’s greatest heroes and villains, all of whom seem unhealthily obsessed with erasing Ian’s memories and preventing him from reminding anyone of their premortem lives. Only by staying a step ahead of his enemies can Ian hope to keep his much-needed marbles, find Penelope, and restore the public’s memories of the beforelife.
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Critic reviews
“Finally, a hitchhiker's guide to the hereafter. Making a debut as stellar as it is hilarious, Randal Graham proves himself a true Canuckian heir to the magnificently pun-happy merriment of literary pranksters Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, and Jasper Fforde. At once a raucous comedy, thrilling adventure, and meta-commentary on the nature of storytelling, Beforelife is an afterlife to die for.” (Corey Redekop, author of Husk)
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Story
Joe Spork repairs clocks, a far cry from his late father, a flashy London gangster. But when Joe fixes one particularly unusual device, his life is suddenly upended. Joe's client, Edie Banister, is more than just a kindly old lady - she's a former superspy. And the device? It's a 1950s doomsday machine. And having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the government and a diabolical South Asian dictator, Edie's old arch-nemesis.
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A cure for the modern cynic
- By Maine Colonial 🌲 on 08-28-12
By: Nick Harkaway
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The Ferryman Institute
- A Novel
- By: Colin Gigl
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Ferryman Charlie Dawson saves dead people - somebody has to convince them to move on to the afterlife, after all. Having never failed a single assignment, he's acquired a reputation for success that's as legendary as it is unwanted. It turns out that serving as a Ferryman is causing Charlie to slowly lose his mind. Deemed too valuable by the Ferryman Institute to be let go and too stubborn to just give up in his own right, Charlie's pretty much abandoned all hope of escaping his grim existence. Or he had, anyway, until he saved Alice Spiegel.
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Narrator does not capture tone of the story
- By Jessica Bell on 03-15-17
By: Colin Gigl
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The Punch Escrow
- By: Tal M. Klein
- Narrated by: Matthew Mercer
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
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Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
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Phoenix Rising
- A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel
- By: Pip Ballantine, Tee Morris
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 13 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Evil is most assuredly afoot - and Britain’s fate rests in the hands of an alluring renegade... and a librarian. These are dark days indeed in Victoria’s England. Londoners are vanishing, then reappearing, washing up as corpses on the banks of the Thames, drained of blood and bone. Yet the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences - the Crown’s clandestine organization whose bailiwick is the strange and unsettling - will not allow its agents to investigate. Fearless and exceedingly lovely Eliza D. Braun, however, with her disturbing fondness for dynamite, refuses to let the matter rest...
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Great Steampunk - worth a listen
- By DarkFish on 05-11-12
By: Pip Ballantine, and others
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I, Robot
- To Protect
- By: Mickey Zucker Reichert
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo
- Length: 13 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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The best-selling author of the popular Renshai series, Mickey Zucker Reichert pens I, Robot: To Protect - the first in a trilogy inspired by the Isaac Asimov classic I, Robot. It’s the year 2035, and robot psychologist Dr. Susan Calvin is beginning her residency at a teaching hospital where patients are being injected with diagnostic nanobots. Before long, Susan realizes that the injections portend dire consequences - and that the nanobots are being used to facilitate a deadly scheme.
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An old friend
- By Joshua Guttman on 11-16-12
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The Tar-Aiym Krang
- A Pip & Flinx Adventure
- By: Alan Dean Foster
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Moth was a beautiful planet, the only one with wings - two great golden clouds suspended in space around it. Here was a wide-open world for any venture a man might scheme. The planet attracted unwary travelers, hardened space-sailors, and merchant buccaneers - a teeming, constantly shifting horde that provided a comfortable income for certain quick-witted fellows like Flinx and his pet flying snake Pip.
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The First of the Flinx and Pip Novels AT LAST!
- By Chris on 01-20-09
By: Alan Dean Foster
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The Fire Seekers
- The Babel Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Richard Farr
- Narrated by: Scott Merriman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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An undeciphered language in Crete. A rash of mysterious disappearances, from Bolivia to Japan. An ancient warning at the ruins of Babel. And a new spiritual leader, who claims that human history as we understand it is about to come to an end.
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A fresh story!
- By AB on 02-08-15
By: Richard Farr
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The Constantine Affliction
- A Pimm and Skye Adventure, Book 1
- By: T. Aaron Payton
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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It is 1864, and London is a city in transition. The Constantine Affliction - a strange malady that kills some of its victims and physically transforms others into the opposite sex - has spread scandal and upheaval throughout society. Scientific marvels and disasters, such as clockwork courtesans, the alchemical fires of Whitechapel, electric carriages, and acidic monsters lurking in the Thames, have forever altered the face of the city.
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A Mash-Up that Gels into a Rollicking Adventure
- By Tango on 08-09-14
By: T. Aaron Payton
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Scythe
- By: Neal Shusterman
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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A world with no hunger, no disease, no war, no misery: Humanity has conquered all those things and has even conquered death. Now Scythes are the only ones who can end life - and they are commanded to do so in order to keep the size of the population under control. Citra and Rowan are chosen to apprentice to a scythe - a role that neither wants. These teens must master the "art" of taking life, knowing that the consequence of failure could mean losing their own.
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Teenage Thumbs up
- By Lila R on 04-01-17
By: Neal Shusterman
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The Curiosity
- A Novel
- By: Stephen Kiernan
- Narrated by: Kate Udall, Erik Bergmann, George Guidall
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Kate Philo makes a breathtaking discovery in the Arctic: the body of a man buried deep in the ice. Heedless of the potential consequences, Kate's boss orders that the frozen man be reanimated. As the man begins to regain his memories, the team learns that he was - is - a judge, Jeremiah Rice. Thrown together by fate, Kate and Jeremiah grow closer. But the clock is ticking and Jeremiah's new life is slipping away. Kate must decide how far she is willing to go to protect the man she has come to love.
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Almost perfect
- By ellegreenland on 04-14-14
By: Stephen Kiernan
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The Year's Top Short SF Novels 5
- By: Cory Doctorow, Ken Liu, John P Murphy, and others
- Narrated by: Tom Dheere, Nancy Linari
- Length: 15 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Short novels are movie-length narratives that may well be the perfect length for science fiction stories. This audio collection presents the best-of-the-best short science fiction novels published in 2014 by current and emerging masters of this vibrant form of storytelling.
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Narrator sounds like Tony Danza
- By Sean on 03-05-16
By: Cory Doctorow, and others
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Tales of the Red Panda: The Android Assassins
- By: Gregg Taylor
- Narrated by: Gregg Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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A city beset by the darkness and desperation of the Depression balances upon the knife edge, ready to plunge into chaos and despair. The forces of darkness have thus far been held at bay by a pair of red-gauntleted fists, but on how many fronts can Toronto's masked champion fight at one time? An unseen manipulator is pulling the city's surviving businesses to the brink of collapse for his own fiendish purposes, just as an old foe returns to unleash his bitter fury upon innocent lives. Who will survive the power of...The Android Assassins?
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"Interesting point"
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-20
By: Gregg Taylor
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WebMage
- Ravirn, Book 1
- By: Kelly McCullough
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Ravirn is not your average computer geek. A child of the Fates - literally - he’s a hacker extraordinaire who can zero in on the fatal flaw in any program. Now that 21st-century magic has gone digital that makes him a very talented sorcerer. But a world of problems is about to be downloaded on Ravirn - who’s just trying to pass his college midterms. Great Aunt Atropos, one of the three Fates, decides that humans having free will is really overrated and plans to rid herself of the annoyance....
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not what i was expecting
- By n.brumm 4 on 02-09-15
By: Kelly McCullough
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I, Robot
- By: Isaac Asimov
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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They mustn't harm a human being, they must obey human orders, and they must protect their own existence...but only so long as that doesn't violate rules one and two. With these Three Laws of Robotics, humanity embarked on a bold new era of evolution that would open up enormous possibilities, and unforeseen risks.
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Thank you
- By Fredrik on 06-11-04
By: Isaac Asimov