
The Lonely American
Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $18.00
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Joy Shaw
About this listen
In today's world, it is more acceptable to be depressed than to be lonely - yet loneliness appears to be the inevitable byproduct of our frenetic contemporary lifestyle. According to the 2004 General Social Survey, one out of four Americans talked to no one about something of importance to them during the last six months. Another remarkable fact emerged from the 2000 US Census: More people are living alone today than at any point in the country's history - fully 25 percent of households consist of one person only. In this crucial look at one of America's few remaining taboo subjects - loneliness - Drs. Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Schwartz set out to understand the cultural imperatives, psychological dynamics, and physical mechanisms underlying social isolation.
In The Lonely American, cutting-edge research on the physiological and cognitive effects of social exclusion and emerging work in the neurobiology of attachment uncover startling, sobering ripple effects of loneliness in areas as varied as physical health, children's emotional problems, substance abuse, and even global warming. Surprising new studies tell a grim truth about social isolation: being disconnected diminishes happiness, health, and longevity; increases aggression; and correlates with increasing rates of violent crime. Loneliness doesn't apply simply to single people, either - today's busy parents "cocoon" themselves by devoting most of their nonwork hours to children, leaving little time for friends and other forms of social contact and unhealthily relying on the marriage to fulfill all social needs.
As a core population of socially isolated individuals and families continues to balloon in size, it is more important than ever to understand the effects of a culture that idealizes busyness and self-reliance. It's time to bring loneliness - a very real and little-discussed social epidemic with frightening consequences - out into the open and find a way to navigate the tension between freedom and connection in our lives.
©2009 Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Schwartz (P)2018 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
-
Platonic
- How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
- By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
-
-
Too much and yet, not enough
- By Kali on 04-05-23
-
The Practice of Groundedness
- A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds - Not Crushes - Your Soul
- By: Brad Stulberg
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Achievement often comes at a cost. Angst, restlessness, frayed relationships, exhaustion, and even substance abuse can be the unwanted side effects of an obsession with outward performance. While the high of occasional wins can keep you going for a while, playing into the always-on, never enough hustle culture ultimately takes a serious toll.
-
-
Not for everyone
- By Carlos Rangel on 12-30-21
By: Brad Stulberg
-
The Good Life
- Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
- By: Robert Waldinger MD, Marc Schulz PhD
- Narrated by: Robert Waldinger MD, Marc Schulz PhD
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What makes for a happy life, a fulfilling life? A good life? In their “captivating” (The Wall Street Journal) book, the directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest scientific study of happiness ever conducted, show that the answer to these questions may be closer than you realize.
-
-
very little practical advice
- By Kindle Customer on 01-16-23
By: Robert Waldinger MD, and others
-
Designing the Mind
- The Principles of Psychitecture
- By: Ryan A. Bush
- Narrated by: Steve Conley
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A bold and fascinating dive into the nuts and bolts of psychological evolution, Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture is part philosophical manifesto, part practical self-development guide, all based on the teachings of legendary thinkers like Marcus Aurelius, Lao Tzu, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Abraham Maslow. The ideas and techniques it offers are all integrated into a vital theory for helping individuals scale the heights of self-mastery and lead great lives.
-
-
Disappointed
- By WLJ on 05-03-21
By: Ryan A. Bush
-
What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- By: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
-
-
Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
- By Howard_a on 05-24-22
By: Stephanie Foo
-
Die with Zero
- Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life
- By: Bill Perkins
- Narrated by: Bill Perkins
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Die with Zero presents a startling new and provocative philosophy as well as practical guide on how to get the most out of your money—and out of your life. It's intended for those who place lifelong memorable experiences far ahead of simply making and accumulating money for one's so-called Golden Years. In short, Bill Perkins wants to rescue you from over-saving and under-living. Regardless of your age, Die with Zero will teach you Perkins' plan for optimizing your life, stage by stage, so you're fully engaged and enjoying what you've worked and saved for.
-
-
Nothing extraordinary
- By Agata Tudek on 06-27-23
By: Bill Perkins
-
Platonic
- How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
- By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
-
-
Too much and yet, not enough
- By Kali on 04-05-23
-
The Practice of Groundedness
- A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds - Not Crushes - Your Soul
- By: Brad Stulberg
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Achievement often comes at a cost. Angst, restlessness, frayed relationships, exhaustion, and even substance abuse can be the unwanted side effects of an obsession with outward performance. While the high of occasional wins can keep you going for a while, playing into the always-on, never enough hustle culture ultimately takes a serious toll.
-
-
Not for everyone
- By Carlos Rangel on 12-30-21
By: Brad Stulberg
-
The Good Life
- Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
- By: Robert Waldinger MD, Marc Schulz PhD
- Narrated by: Robert Waldinger MD, Marc Schulz PhD
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What makes for a happy life, a fulfilling life? A good life? In their “captivating” (The Wall Street Journal) book, the directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest scientific study of happiness ever conducted, show that the answer to these questions may be closer than you realize.
-
-
very little practical advice
- By Kindle Customer on 01-16-23
By: Robert Waldinger MD, and others
-
Designing the Mind
- The Principles of Psychitecture
- By: Ryan A. Bush
- Narrated by: Steve Conley
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A bold and fascinating dive into the nuts and bolts of psychological evolution, Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture is part philosophical manifesto, part practical self-development guide, all based on the teachings of legendary thinkers like Marcus Aurelius, Lao Tzu, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Abraham Maslow. The ideas and techniques it offers are all integrated into a vital theory for helping individuals scale the heights of self-mastery and lead great lives.
-
-
Disappointed
- By WLJ on 05-03-21
By: Ryan A. Bush
-
What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- By: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
-
-
Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
- By Howard_a on 05-24-22
By: Stephanie Foo
-
Die with Zero
- Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life
- By: Bill Perkins
- Narrated by: Bill Perkins
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Die with Zero presents a startling new and provocative philosophy as well as practical guide on how to get the most out of your money—and out of your life. It's intended for those who place lifelong memorable experiences far ahead of simply making and accumulating money for one's so-called Golden Years. In short, Bill Perkins wants to rescue you from over-saving and under-living. Regardless of your age, Die with Zero will teach you Perkins' plan for optimizing your life, stage by stage, so you're fully engaged and enjoying what you've worked and saved for.
-
-
Nothing extraordinary
- By Agata Tudek on 06-27-23
By: Bill Perkins
-
The Loneliness Epidemic
- Why So Many of Us Feel Alone - and How Leaders Can Respond
- By: Susan Mettes, David Kinnaman - foreword
- Narrated by: Nan McNamara
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Guided by current research from Barna Group, Mettes illustrates the profound physical, emotional, and social toll of loneliness in the United States. Surprisingly, her research shows that it is not the oldest Americans but the youngest adults who are loneliest and that social media can actually play a positive role in alleviating loneliness.
By: Susan Mettes, and others
-
The Lonely Century
- How to Restore Human Connection in a World that's Pulling Apart
- By: Noreena Hertz
- Narrated by: Noreena Hertz
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Loneliness has become the defining condition of the 21st century. It is damaging our health, our wealth, and our happiness and even threatening our democracy. Never has it been more pervasive or more widespread, but never has there been more that we can do about it.
-
-
Great book that doesn't demonize technology
- By chris boutte on 02-13-21
By: Noreena Hertz
-
Them
- Why We Hate Each Other - and How to Heal
- By: Ben Sasse
- Narrated by: Ben Sasse
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Something is wrong. We all know it. American life expectancy is declining for a third straight year. Birth rates are dropping. Nearly half of us think the other political party isn’t just wrong; they’re evil. We’re the richest country in history, but we’ve never been more pessimistic. What’s causing the despair? In Them, bestselling author and U.S. senator Ben Sasse argues that, contrary to conventional wisdom, our crisis isn’t really about politics. It’s that we’re so lonely we can’t see straight—and it bubbles out as anger. Local communities are collapsing.
-
-
Had much higher hopes
- By Brandon on 11-10-18
By: Ben Sasse
-
We Need to Hang Out
- A Memoir of Making Friends
- By: Billy Baker
- Narrated by: Billy Baker
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this “entertaining mix of social science, memoir, and humor, as if a Daniel Goleman book were filtered through the lens of Will Ferrell” (The New York Times Book Review) a middle-aged man embarks on an entertaining and relatable quest to reprioritize his ties with his buddies and forge new friendships, all while balancing work, marriage, and kids.
-
-
Worth the listen.
- By Dr. DeezNutz on 12-16-22
By: Billy Baker
-
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
-
-
Wake up call !
- By sashy on 08-18-16
-
Unmasking Autism
- Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity
- By: Devon Price PhD
- Narrated by: Devon Price PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Unmasking Autism, Dr. Devon Price shares their personal experience with masking and blends history, social science research, prescriptions, and personal profiles to tell a story of neurodivergence that has thus far been dominated by those on the outside looking in. For Dr. Price and many others, Autism is a deep source of uniqueness and beauty. Unfortunately, living in a neurotypical world means it can also be a source of incredible alienation and pain.
-
-
Disappointing
- By Debra M. Givin on 11-12-22
By: Devon Price PhD
-
The Tactical Guide to Women
- How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage
- By: Shawn Smith
- Narrated by: Chris Abell
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For men, love is a high-stakes gamble. The right woman can be the best part of a man's life, and the wrong one can lead to personal and financial ruin. In today's climate, no man should venture into romance without a reliable risk-management strategy. The Tactical Guide to Women delivers a solid plan for allowing the right women into your life, and keeping the wrong ones at a safe distance. This is not another book about getting laid. This book is about not getting screwed.
-
-
a book that is as important as the rational male.
- By Chris on 12-26-17
By: Shawn Smith
-
The Happiness Hypothesis
- By: Jonathan Haidt
- Narrated by: Ryan Vincent Anderson
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jonathan Haidt skillfully combines two genres-philosophical wisdom and scientific research-delighting the listener with surprising insights. He explains, for example, why we have such difficulty controlling ourselves and sticking to our plans; why no achievement brings lasting happiness, yet a few changes in your life can have profound effects, and why even confirmed atheists experience spiritual elevation.
-
-
Amazing book, terrible choice in voice.
- By JAMES on 02-05-19
By: Jonathan Haidt
-
The Highly Sensitive Person
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Barbara Caruso
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., is a world-renowned psychologist and speaker. The Highly Sensitive Person is an in-depth look at characteristics that define sensitivity. Through self-assessment tests and techniques, Aron shows listeners how to identify their own personality traits. This exceptional book can lead to remarkable results for many who suffer from constant stress and anxiety.
-
-
Highly Scientific
- By Steph on 01-07-10
By: Elaine N. Aron
-
Emotional Agility
- Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
- By: Susan David
- Narrated by: Susan David
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive, and you'll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility - emotional agility.
-
-
Slow, Simple, and Easy to Comprehend
- By Jules on 04-21-20
By: Susan David
-
Together
- The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
- By: Vivek H. Murthy
- Narrated by: Vivek H. Murthy
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Humans are social creatures: In this simple and obvious fact lies both the problem and the solution to the current crisis of loneliness. In his groundbreaking audiobook, the 19th surgeon general of the United States Dr. Vivek Murthy makes a case for loneliness as a public health concern: a root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety.
-
-
Losing 7 Friends to Suicide, I’m Glad I Read This
- By Amit Bhuta on 05-04-20
By: Vivek H. Murthy
-
Love Sense
- The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Narrated by: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" - our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival.
-
-
No real tips on HOW to become more securely attach
- By Sophia on 11-10-15
By: Dr. Sue Johnson
Critic reviews
"In a wise, quiet, and gentle voice, Drs. Olds and Schwartz offer a devastating portrait of present-day American culture - the fragility of social bonds, the busyness that has become a badge of social worth, the conflict between the need for respite from the frantic pace and the gnawing feelings of exclusion and loneliness that accompany our attempts to slow it down. This is a book for our time, a book that calls all of us to take a serious look at the social and psychological costs of the way we live today." (Dr. Lillian B. Rubin, author of Just Friends, Intimate Strangers, and 60 on Up)
"In today's society the pursuit of individual happiness, materialism, and the frenetic pace of life has led many people unwittingly into lifestyles where they feel lonely and excluded. Yet we know that such states are damaging to physical and mental health. In their important new book, Drs. Olds and Schwartz provide a compassionate and insightful analysis of the conflicting currents that have led to this state of affairs, and they describe ways in which this pattern can be changed through individual and community efforts." (Dr. Bruce S. McEwen, author of The End of Stress as We Know It)
"An insightful, important, and comprehensive look at the causes and effects of the pervasive psychological and social isolation within contemporary American culture. The authors offer wise, compassionate, and helpful strategies toward the renewal of our essential human connections." (Janet L. Surrey, PhD, founding scholar, Jean Baker Miller Training Institute, Wellesley College, and Samuel Shem, author of The House of God)
What listeners say about The Lonely American
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sal
- 03-03-22
Full of Fascinating Facts and Deep Wisdom
I loved the level-headed approach to our national crisis of loneliness backed up by serious science and clinical experience.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- collin tomb
- 05-21-19
good book, terrible reading
"joy shaw" sounded exactly like a computer. very ironic for a book about real people connecting
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!