The Dance of Deception
A Guide to Authenticity and Truth Telling in Women's Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Harriet Lerner
About this listen
When The Dance of Deception was published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common response.
We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deception unravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real - even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave - but misguided - efforts to tell the truth.
Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty", we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.
Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn - for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first.
Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself", Lerner helps us to discover, speak, and live our own truths.
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
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What listeners say about The Dance of Deception
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Karen Furey
- 11-04-20
Worth a listen
I love Harriet Lerner’s writing and narration. This book did not disappoint! I like all her books.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-08-20
Fantastic
Widening the path to truth telling! This is fantastic and necessary text! I love it
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Performance
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- Gina
- 09-01-15
Good Message
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes
Have you listened to any of Harriet Lerner’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No
What’s the most interesting tidbit you’ve picked up from this book?
Honesty is still the best policy even though people deceive for what they believe are good reasons. .
Any additional comments?
Not the greatest narrator. Book was a little disjointed
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2 people found this helpful
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- DK
- 07-10-24
Deep and applicable to daily life
Practical, philosophical, brief but deep. Applicable
to daily life and offers a lot to think about. Highly recommend.
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- Brittany Gordon
- 08-08-22
very informational about authenticity.
This book really goes deep in regards to wemon diversity and how the domination of men has influenced the way of deception in our culture.
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- Tracy Mehoke
- 08-01-20
A good reminder toward personal authenticity and societal inclusion
I started listening to this book because I was hoping it would give some helpful suggestions for laying the groundwork to be able to represent oneself more authentically to others in a way that makes the conversation easier.
The book is actually more about the ways that women often feel required to bend or obscure their own truth to fit into society. So, it does have useful ideas and examples for questioning expectations, and learning to trust your own interpretations, but not very much about specifically finding ways of communicating these to others. (At least, not beyond being more aware of them for yourself, which is always good)
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1 person found this helpful