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Shotgun Christmas: Two Christmas Tales
- Narrated by: JK Carpenter
- Length: 35 mins
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Publisher's summary
There is a big old sledding hill not more than two or three good snowballs' worth of distance from our home, just behind Hank Macabee's house. That hill was waiting for me and my brand new toboggan. It's one of those sneak-up kind of hills with a long slow ride down that picks up speed as it goes with a bump-hump at the end that you never see coming. I didn't see what was coming next, either. The Christmas tree crashed through Hank Macabee's bay window. The tree stand clattered behind it and bounced with a clank on Hank's half-frozen front lawn.
Hank came through the door with a shotgun in hand. He wore a Nova Scotia plaid bathrobe and a pair of fuzzy, blue Smurf slippers. He pumped and blasted the Christmas tree, shattering the decorations that escaped the initial picture window caber toss. He continued pumping and blasting until his shotgun ran dry....
WHY is Hank Macabee shooting his Christmas tree? Grab a copy today of these two surprisingly heart-warming tales and find out for yourself.
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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The Far Empty
- By: J. Todd Scott
- Narrated by: T. Ryder Smith
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Caleb Ross is adrift in the wake of the sudden disappearance of his mother more than a year ago, and is struggling to find his way out of the small Texas border town of Murfee. Chris Cherry is a newly minted sheriff's deputy, a high school football hero who has reluctantly returned to his hometown.
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I really wanted to like this
- By Sandy on 01-09-20
By: J. Todd Scott
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The Cove
- FBI Thriller #1
- By: Catherine Coulter
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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The Cove is a quaint little postcard town made up only of old folk who sell the World's Greatest Ice Cream - a secret recipe that brings lots of tourists into town.
Into The Cove comes Sally Brainerd, daughter of murdered Amory St. John, of Washington, D.C., seeking sanctuary, and FBI Special Agent James Quinlan, who's undercover and after her. He's got a murder to solve, and he believes she's the key. But is she really?
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Not for anyone sensitive about sexual violence
- By bookish327 on 08-19-12
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KooKooLand
- A Memoir
- By: Gloria Norris
- Narrated by: Gloria Norris
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Gloria Norris grew up in the projects of Manchester, New Hampshire, with her parents; her sister, Virginia; and her cat, Sylvester. A snapshot might show a happy young family, but only a dummkopf would buy that. Nine-year-old Gloria is gutsy and wisecracking. Her father, Jimmy, all dazzle and danger, is often on the far side of the law and makes his own rules - which everyone else better follow. Gloria's mom, Shirley, tries not to rock the boat, Virginia unwisely defies Jimmy, and Gloria fashions herself into his sidekick - the son he never had.
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this was so awful I could only listen to a little
- By Wyowoman on 09-14-18
By: Gloria Norris
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The Blight Way
- A Sheriff Bo Tully Mystery
- By: Patrick F. McManus
- Narrated by: Charles Leggett
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Bo Tully is the sheriff of Blight County, Idaho, where law enforcement is usually pretty mundane: tracking down truants running away from school, picking up country boys who've had a few too many beers. But Tully gets a little more than the country norm when an ex-con calls with the startling news that there's a corpse draped across one of his fences.
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Lots of fun and no bad language
- By Share on 02-26-10
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Too Close to the Falls
- A Memoir
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to the childhood of Catherine McClure Gildiner. It is the middle of the 1950s in Lewiston, New York, a small and sleepy American town very near Niagara Falls. No one is divorced. Mothers wear high heels to the beauty salon and children pop Pez candy and swing from vines over a local gorge. But at the tender age of four, it becomes clear to her Cathy's parents that their rambunctious daughter is no ordinary child and they soon put her "to work" at her father's pharmacy.
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Brilliant and funny and touching.
- By Kindle Customer on 11-07-19
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Open Season
- A Joe Pickett Novel
- By: C. J. Box
- Narrated by: David Chandler
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Joe Pickett is the new game warden in Twelve Sleep, Wyoming, a town where nearly everyone hunts and the game warden—especially one like Joe who won't take bribes or look the other way—is far from popular. When he finds a local hunting outfitter dead, splayed out on the woodpile behind his state-owned home, he takes it personally. There had to be a reason that the outfitter, with whom he's had run-ins before, chose his backyard, his woodpile to die in.
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Disappointed.
- By Kristina on 02-18-14
By: C. J. Box
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The Shadow Year
- A Novel
- By: Jeffrey Ford
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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On New York's Long Island, in the unpredictable decade of the 1960s, a young boy spends much of his free time in the basement of his family's modest home, where he and his brother, Jim, have created Botch Town, a detailed cardboard replica of their community, complete with figurines representing friends and neighbors. Their little sister, Mary, smokes cigarettes, speaks in other voices, inhabits alternate personas... and, unbeknownst to her siblings, moves around the inanimate clay residents.
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Couldn't stop listening!!!
- By Marjory on 12-12-10
By: Jeffrey Ford
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In the Blink of an Eye
- By: Wendy Corsi Staub
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 12 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to Lily Dale, New York...a sleepy summer resort, home to a population of psychics, and the place where Julia Garrity and Kristin Shuttleworth formed a fast friendship broken only by death. Ten Summer Street is no ordinary house. It was there, 15 years ago, that Kristin saw something on a Halloween night that would haunt her until the end of her days. Since then, Julia has watched both Kristin and her mother fall prey to whomever - or whatever - lurks there.
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Worst narrator
- By Jenn S. on 05-16-21
What listeners say about Shotgun Christmas: Two Christmas Tales
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Vandal
- 12-06-18
Shotgun Christmas what a blast!
Having listened to Steve Vernons short story The Forever Long Road of Olan Walker I was exited to hear Shotgun Christmas. He did a great job on the previous short story so I knew I would be in for some fun.
The first story is about why a neighbor is shooting up a Christmas tree. The second story that I enjoyed far more focuses on two young boys wondering what the noise coming from downstairs on Christmas eve is. They believe there grandpa is scalping Santa downstairs. This is a fantastic telling of the wild imagination of youth. Both tales have good dark humor in them and are a fun listen. All the characters are well written and JK Carpenter does a good job on narration and brings the characters to life.
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- meyerovb
- 05-24-18
Enjoyable way to spend a commute
Listened to this in May, still nice two stories even outside of the holidays. The writing was impressive, wasn’t expecting it to be so nice. The narration was superb actually, just enjoyable to listen to really. Great narrator and recording quality, no ambient noise, smooth voice. Good way to spend a half hour. #BetterThanIThought #GiveItATry #QuickListen #tagsgiving #sweepstakes
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- Michael Richardson
- 12-06-18
I enjoyed it.
Another good Steve Vernon book. this is the second book that I have had the chance listen to by Steve Vernon and I have to say I am really starting to enjoy his work. they are short stories but well worth the a listen/reading.
This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.
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- R. MCRACKAN
- 12-05-18
Christmas surprises, lessons... and dad jokes
These 2 warm and unpretentious folksy stories were charming. I was surprised by how many unexpected things happened in such a short time. It feels autobiographical and real because the tiny twists are too little to be lied about. There's nothing grand; it's the way real life flows when you aren't following a lazy template.
This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.
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- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 05-27-18
Elf on a shelf had better look out!
If I have learned anything about Steve Vernon it is that 1) He can craft a story and 2) You never know what you are going to get from him. Sometimes it can be terrifying, and other times it will be pure hilarity. For example, you could read Dead man's Salute or Uncle Bob's Red Flannel Bible Camp and get two very different stories. He seems unbound by genre, and that is pretty impressive, either way we, as readers, win. I am particularly fond of his horror stories, but I must admit an affinity toward's Uncle Bob.
One thing Vernon always manages to provide is humor. Sometimes it is incredibly dark, and other times it is as light and fluffy as some tasty pancakes. Still, the humor is usually there, and is the heart of his writing. I think that when you boil everything else away the core of his stories is something twistedly dark and humorous. He has a skewed eye, and now he's turned that peeper onto a great Christmas story.
If you were to ask me why I might throw a perfectly good Christmas tree through a window and begin to pump it full buckshot I would have to answer squirrel. I can totally see blowing away a perfectly good tree if it were infested with those furry varmints. Vernon, however, has a different take, and the reason Hank Macabee pulled a gun on his tinsel hanger is something only he could come up with.
I must say, I love the cover to the book, it says everything you need to know about the main story, and is done with class and style. It is simplistic, but conveys its message with aplomb. It also serves to pull you in, as the minute I looked at it I said, OK, I have to see what Vernon has come up with now! Good choice!!
JK Carpenter does a fine job narrating, and some how channels Gene Shepherd's spirit as he goes along. I have expected Macabee to field dress his fully dress tree once he was done killing it. That is because of Carpenter's delivery, it's almost like deadpan with a wink. But it's not deadpan at all. He just speaks so naturally that you get the impression he is telling you some stories right out of his life. The characters are well played, and the story vocalized in a satisfactory manner. You will hate to hear it end.
I do not recap stories, but I will say that this is a perfect set of X-mas stories, so I'm going to have to have Christmas in July when I relisten to this book in a month or so. Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and honestly, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.
If this review helped, please press the YES below. Thank you immensely!!!
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- Caleb
- 05-23-18
Short and Entertaining
As the title suggests this is a pair of short, light hearted Christmas stories. The first one is alright, although somewhat simplistic. The second one was the best in my opinion. I mean with a title like "Scalping Santa" what's not to like? It very much reminded me of 'A Christmas Story' in it's wacky holiday fun from a kids perspective. I laughed out loud more than once. JK Carpenter's narration was good, although not my favorite.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
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