Kelpie Christmas
Kelpie Tales, Book 2
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Narrated by:
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Cheyenne Bizon
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By:
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Steve Vernon
About this listen
A short story involving a Celtic water spirit (the kelpie), an assassin, a librarian, a ghost, and a Santa-mugging street gang - a wild weird paranormal romance shoot-em-up story - written for listeners who hate to listen to romance.
©2017 Steve Vernon (P)2018 Steve VernonListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Missing Links is the story of four middle-class buddies who live outside Boston and play golf together at Ponkaquogue Municipal Golf Links and Deli, not so fondly known as Ponky. An 18-hole garbage dump with hazards that include a concrete river surrounded by a chain-link fence and the pillars of the elevated train that runs through the course, it is reputed to be the worst golf course in America.
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"F" word is pervalent in the story...
- By Todd and Gabriela on 09-04-11
By: Rick Reilly
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The Misfits
- By: James Howe
- Narrated by: Spencer Murphy, the Full Cast Family
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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A little too smart, a little too fat, Bobby Goodspeed has always been a go-along-to-get-along kind of guy. But when his friend Addie decides to tackle the student council elections, Bobby finds himself changing in ways he never could have imagined in this tender, touching, utterly hilarious novel of life as a middle school misfit.
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WELL DONE! The Misfits by James Howe
- By PARE on 01-09-12
By: James Howe
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Hellbent
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 2
- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Vampire and thief Raylene Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex–Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way.
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Nice Second Installment
- By Tiffani on 09-02-11
By: Cherie Priest
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Bubba the Monster Hunter: Books 1-3
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: John Solo
- Length: 37 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert "Bubba" Brabham never wanted to hunt monsters. He mostly wanted to drink beer, hunt deer, and chase women, like every other giant redneck in the world. But life interfered, and Bubba found himself holster-deep in the family business: monster hunting. Now he's the Southeastern Regional Hunter for the Holy Roman Catholic Church...Bubba has to save the world from the things that go bump in the night! Just as soon as he's done with his beer. And maybe after one more lap dance.
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This is not Bubba Shackelford
- By SamR on 08-06-19
By: John G. Hartness
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The Black Company
- Chronicles of The Black Company, Book 1
- By: Glen Cook
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hardbitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead - until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her....
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Hard Boiled Morally Ambiguous Epic Fantasy
- By Jefferson on 03-18-11
By: Glen Cook
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- By: Elliott James
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- By Suzanne on 05-24-14
By: Elliott James
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Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
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Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
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The Chosen
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: Andrew McFerrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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What do you get when you mix a couple of immortals, a snotty archangel, the Father of Lies, a redneck street preacher and a couple of wiseass waitresses from Texas?
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Good Story Bad Ending
- By Mario on 05-13-15
By: John G. Hartness
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Almost Infamous
- A Supervillain Novel
- By: Matt Carter
- Narrated by: Nicholas Techosky
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
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Undead and Unwed
- Queen Betsy, Book 1
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Waking up in a tacky coffin and wearing off-brand shoes, Betsy Taylor can't believe the horrible turn her life has taken; then she discovers she's a vampire. Soon, Betsy becomes a participant in a power struggle between the forces of darkness. With only her friend Jessica and the hunky vampire Sinclair to help her, this new "Queen of Vampires" will have a tough time getting her afterlife straight.
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Great Concept / Annoying Character
- By Vanessa on 07-28-09
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Red Planet
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Jim Marlowe and his strange-looking Martian friend, Willis, are allowed to travel only so far. But one day Willis unwittingly tunes in to a treacherous plot that threatens all the colonists on Mars, and it sets Jim off on a terrifying adventure that could save - or destroy - them all.
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RED PLANET--- by Robert A. Heinlein
- By Stephen Hickman on 12-29-16
What listeners say about Kelpie Christmas
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Deedra
- 06-09-18
Kelpie Christmas
This was ok.I found it a bit weirder than the first Kelpie book.Cheyenne Bizon was a good narrator.I was given this book by the narrator,author or publisher free for an honest review.
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- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 03-31-18
Father Xmas, give us some money or else . . .
This is one of those stories in which you love the heroes, but kind of want to root for the bad guys. Our good Lady MacBeth is back with her pals, Rhonda the hitchick, and Angus the Kelpie, and they are out to stop whomever is beating the crap out of those bell ringing Santa's. This is sort of like saying they were out to stop people from beating up mimes. You know it is wrong, but you also sooooo badly understand it. You might even want to join in. Well, you might!!! I'm not saying bell ringing Santa's deserve it, but . . . . .
Anyway, this piece is plenty of funny. Can you imagine a Kelpie Reindeer? What amazes me is how easily Vernon goes from funny to stone cold horror in a heartbeat. He can write light and fluffy and then his next tale will melt the slippers off your grandmother. Here, he sticks with the funny stuff, and this is one of those shorts that you can enjoy with a laugh every minute of so. The nice thing is is that the story is only a half hour long, and so you can listen for a brief bit and pick up your whole day for that short investment.
Bizon has rapidly become Lady Cordelia, and she seems to enjoy reading the stories of the Mermaid as much as we enjoy listening to her. She accentuates things at just the right moment, or adds a little spin on what she is saying, that only adds to the humor.
I would say this is a fun little holiday tale, but it can be listened to at any time of the year. You'll probably listen to it throughout the various seasons, so don't think of this as being just a Christmas tale. Think of this as a knock down, drag out, laugh 'em up story that you'll enjoy! Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.
If this review helped, please press the YES below. Thank you immensely!!!
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2 people found this helpful