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It's Not Me, It's You
- Impossible perfectionist, 27, seeks very very very tidy woman
- Narrated by: Jon Richardson
- Length: 3 hrs and 16 mins
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Publisher's summary
A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply).
‘I haven’t woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it’s one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.’ Jon Richardson
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Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon’s obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.
But Jon doesn’t want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?
Critic reviews
‘Richardson is an OCD-afflicted, grumpy young man who can spin a brilliant routine and could well be the best comic of his generation.’ The Herald
‘Boldly funny and expertly written, it’s a look at dark subjects deftly handled by an engaging comic talent.’ Shortlist
‘Written in his unique style, Jon's quest is a hilarious eye-opener into the mind of a neat freak.’ The Sun
‘I loved Jon’s book. It’s even better than the real thing because you can’t hear his voice.’ Michael McIntyre
‘Jon’s book is just like him. Funny, enjoyable and short.’ Alan Carr
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Things We Never Said
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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When Catherine learns that she is dying, she remembers the words her husband once jokingly uttered and decides to leave him the ultimate posthumous gift: a time capsule containing photographs of their life together along with tape recordings in which she recounts every secret she ever kept, every unspoken thought whether loving or treacherous - the things they never said.
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Boring couple, Boring Book
- By Shell on 12-23-18
By: Nick Alexander
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Lie in Wait
- By: G. J. Minett
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Owen Hall drives into a petrol station to let his passenger use the facilities. She never comes back - and what's more, it seems she never even made it inside. When Owen raises a fuss, the police are called - and soon identify Owen himself as a possible culprit, not least because they already have him in the frame for another more sinister crime. Owen's always been a little different, and before long others in the community are baying for his blood. But this is a case where nothing is as it seems - least of all Owen Hall....
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LIE IN WAIT..
- By ZacharyKindle Customer on 08-06-17
By: G. J. Minett
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Us: A Novel
- By: David Nicholls
- Narrated by: David Haig
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Douglas Petersen may be mild-mannered, but behind his reserve lies a sense of humor that seduces beautiful Connie into a second date...and eventually into marriage. Now, almost three decades later, they live more or less happily in the London suburbs with their moody seventeen year-old son, Albie. Then Connie tells him she thinks she wants a divorce. The timing couldn’t be worse. Connie has planned a month-long tour of European capitals, a chance to experience the world’s greatest works of art as a family, and she can’t bring herself to cancel. And maybe going ahead is for the best anyway? Douglas is privately convinced that this landmark trip will rekindle the romance in the marriage, and might even help him to bond with Albie. Narrated from Douglas’s endearingly honest, slyly witty, and at times achingly optimistic point of view, Us is the story of a man trying to rescue his relationship with the woman he loves, and learning how to get closer to a son who’s always felt like a stranger.
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Great novel - my favorite in years
- By Mark on 07-21-15
By: David Nicholls
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My Sister’s Lies
- By: S.D. Robertson
- Narrated by: Emma Pallant
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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For a decade, Hannah’s life has been pretty close to perfect - she has a great job, she’s married to Mark, and her child-free existence means she’s free as a bird. The only sadness in her life is a fall-out with her sister Diane, who hasn’t spoken to her in over 10 years. But now Diane is on her doorstep - and this time, she’s got her teenage daughter, Mia, in tow. When Diane asks if Mia can stay with Hannah and Mark for a few days, Hannah is glad of the chance to get to know her niece. But as the days turn into weeks and Diane doesn’t return, Hannah begins to worry....
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waste of time
- By BaronR on 07-27-19
By: S.D. Robertson
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Down Cemetery Road
- By: Mick Herron
- Narrated by: Julia Franklin
- Length: 13 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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When a house explodes in a quiet Oxford suburb and a young girl disappears in the aftermath, Sarah Tucker becomes obsessed with finding her. Accustomed to dull chores in a childless household and hosting her husband’s wearisome business clients for dinner, Sarah suddenly finds herself questioning everything she thought she knew, as her investigation reveals that people long believed dead are still among the living, while the living are fast joining the dead.
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A bit of a slog....
- By rhl60 on 01-26-24
By: Mick Herron
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Love...From Both Sides
- Love…, Book 1
- By: Nick Spalding
- Narrated by: Heather Wilds, Napoleon Ryan
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Sometimes, the hardest part of finding love is keeping a straight face...For Jamie Newman, being a single guy isn't proving to be much fun, especially when confronted with a sexually belligerent divorcee and a goddess so far out of his league she might as well be a different species.
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Delightful and funny
- By Wayne on 08-06-15
By: Nick Spalding
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The Good Mother
- By: Karen Osman
- Narrated by: Emmy Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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How far would you go to protect your children? Catherine is a good mother and a good wife. The family home is immaculate, her husband's supper is cooked on time, but when she starts writing to Michael, a prisoner convicted of murder, she finds herself obsessing about his crime and whether he can ever truly be forgiven....
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Slow-Burn but Ultimately Great
- By Candice on 02-22-19
By: Karen Osman
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Mystery Man
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Stephen Armstrong
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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He’s the Man With No Name and the owner of No Alibis, a mystery bookshop in Belfast. But when a detective agency next door goes bust, the agency’s clients start calling into his shop asking him to solve their cases. It’s not as if there’s any danger involved. It’s an easy way to sell books to his gullible customers and Alison, the beautiful girl in the jewellery shop across the road, will surely be impressed. Except she’s not – because she can see the bigger picture.
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Mystery, humor & literary nuances - GREAT
- By Toby on 09-06-13
By: Colin Bateman
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After Anna
- By: Alex Lake
- Narrated by: Antonia Beamish
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The real nightmare starts when her daughter is returned.... A bone-chilling psychological thriller that will suit fans of Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, Daughter by Jane Shemilt, and The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. A girl is missing. Five years old, taken from outside her school. She has vanished, traceless. The police are at a loss; her parents are beyond grief. Their daughter is lost forever, perhaps dead, perhaps enslaved.
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My feedback..2 overall
- By Haneet on 09-05-16
By: Alex Lake
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How Did All This Happen?
- By: John Bishop
- Narrated by: John Bishop
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're a man of a certain age you'll know there comes a point in life when getting a sports car and over-analysing your contribution to society sounds like a really good idea. With a good job in sales and marketing and a nice house in Manchester that he shared with his wife and kids, John Bishop was no different when he turned the dreaded 4-0. But instead of spanking a load of cash on a car that would have made him look like a senior stylist at Vidal Sassoon, he stumbled onto a pathway that ultimately lead him to become one of the nation's best loved comedians.
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Heartwarming and Funny
- By Nancy Burnett on 12-01-22
By: John Bishop
What listeners say about It's Not Me, It's You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Harman Singh
- 01-22-19
Nice save
Started promising, descending into a dull repetitive drone, and then, in the last few chapters, when I was barely paying enough attention to notice, it became brilliant.
Read for the last 3 chapters.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Steven
- 05-18-24
Very funny and honest
Exactly what you’d expect. Made me laugh out loud and acknowledge my own weirdness. Excellent.
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- yanamal
- 03-30-18
it's probably me
I enjoyed it greatly, though my reation alternated between catharsis (me too!) and increased anxiety(oh god, me too!)
also I really hope that Gemma through line was an exaggeration
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2 people found this helpful
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- Vasilia
- 05-14-12
Different, surprising comedy
Any additional comments?
Listening to this book was a surreal experience. You're laughing and almost crying on every page. Jon Richardson's humour takes you totally by surprise, he's so honest and different to other comedians.
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6 people found this helpful