
If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came into This Room For
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Narrated by:
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Molly Stillman
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Lisa Larsen
About this listen
Read by the author.
Some people have life all figured out. This book is for the rest of us.
Molly Stillman has lived the type of life that when shared, people stop in their tracks and ask “Wait, what happened?” Molly’s mother, Lynda Van Devanter Buckley, served as an Army nurse during the Vietnam War and wrote the bestselling memoir Home Before Morning. When Molly was seventeen, Lynda passed away after an eight-year battle with an autoimmune disorder due to her exposure to Agent Orange. Four years later Molly turned twenty-one and unexpectedly inherited a quarter of a million dollars from her mother’s estranged family’s estate. Through “retail therapy” and a long series of grossly irresponsible financial decisions, Molly found herself broke with over $36,000 in credit card debt less than two years later. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment set in.
With aspirations of a career in comedy, Molly used humor to mask the pain and brokenness she felt, believing that if she looked joyful and put together on the outside, it would eventually be true on the inside. Instead, she spent the next few years depressed, lonely, and feeling alienated from those closest to her. But an unlikely call with a compassionate credit counselor, meeting the spreadsheet-loving man who eventually became her husband, and a surprising visit to a church started her on a path that changed everything.
If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry offers humor and hope to all of us who have struggled to reconcile the life we are living with the life we thought we wanted to have. Molly will bring you into the tension of feeling both joy and grief and show you that every broken, messed up story has a purpose, and it’s possible to gain everything if you’re willing to surrender it all to Jesus.
©2024 Molly Stillman (P)2024 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Lynda Van Devanter was the girl next door, the cheerleader who went to Catholic schools, enjoyed sports, and got along well with her four sisters and parents. After high school she attended nursing school and then did something that would shatter her secure world for the rest of her life: in 1969, she joined the army and was shipped to Vietnam. When she arrived in Vietnam her idealistic view of the war vanished quickly. She worked long hours in cramped, ill-equipped, understaffed operating rooms. She saw friends die.
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Excellent
- By Anonymous User on 07-24-24
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The Four Winds
- A Novel
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 15 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Texas, 1921. A time of abundance. The Great War is over, the bounty of the land is plentiful, and America is on the brink of a new and optimistic era. But for Elsa Wolcott, deemed too old to marry in a time when marriage is a woman’s only option, the future seems bleak. Until the night she meets Rafe Martinelli. By 1934, the world has changed; millions are out of work and drought has devastated the Great Plains. Elsa must make an agonizing choice: fight for the land she loves or leave it behind and go west, to California, in search of a better life for her family.
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✫✫ 4.75 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 02-03-21
By: Kristin Hannah
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Between Sisters
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Meghann Dontess is a woman haunted by heartbreak. Twenty-five years ago she was forced to make a terrible choice, one that cost her everything, including the love of her sister, Claire. Now, Meghann is a hotshot divorce attorney who doesn’t believe in intimacy - until she meets the one man who can change her mind.
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Classic Hannah Pre-Nightingale
- By Wendi on 09-11-17
By: Kristin Hannah
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On Mystic Lake
- A Novel
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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On the day her daughter leaves for college, Anne Colwater's husband of 20 years announces he wants a divorce. Her roles of wife and mother suddenly gone, Annie retreats to her childhood home of Mystic, Washington, to heal. There she finds her old friend Nick, suddenly widowed and unable to cope with his emotionally scarred young daughter, Izzie.
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Never been so disappointed
- By Anonymous User on 12-28-10
By: Kristin Hannah
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Night Road
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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For 18 years, Jude Farraday has put her children’s needs above her own, and it shows - her twins, Mia and Zach, are bright and happy teenagers. When Lexi Baill moves into their small, close-knit community, no one is more welcoming than Jude. Lexi, a former foster child with a dark past, quickly becomes Mia’s best friend. Then Zach falls in love with Lexi and the three become inseparable. Jude does everything to keep her kids on track for college and out of harm’s way. It has always been easy - until senior year of high school. Suddenly she is at a loss.
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Oh for heaven's sake
- By Angela on 10-24-11
By: Kristin Hannah
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Summer Island
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Thirty-four-year-old Ruby Bridge is a not-too-successful comedienne who uses her mother, a nationally-syndicated "moral and spiritual counselor" as the main fodder for her cynical, rather bitter humor. Her mother Nora, long divorced from Ruby's father, is a woman whose past is just about to catch up with her - in the form of blackmail by a former lover.
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Disappointed
- By Lisa on 04-10-20
By: Kristin Hannah
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Winter Garden
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Meredith and Nina Whitson are as different as sisters can be. One stayed at home to raise her children and manage the family apple orchard; the other followed a dream and traveled the world to become a famous photojournalist. But when their beloved father falls ill, Meredith and Nina find themselves together again, standing alongside their cold, disapproving mother, Anya, who even now, offers no comfort to her daughters.
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I thought I made a mistake
- By A. Musser on 11-29-17
By: Kristin Hannah
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The Great Alone
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 15 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Ernt Allbright, a former POW, comes home from the Vietnam war a changed and volatile man. When he loses yet another job, he makes an impulsive decision: He will move his family north, to Alaska, where they will live off the grid in America’s last true frontier.
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A Long, Hard Slog Through Endless Despair and Heartache
- By Morro Schreiber on 04-11-18
By: Kristin Hannah
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Magic Hour
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In the rugged Pacific Northwest lies the Olympic National Forest - nearly a million acres of impenetrable darkness and impossible beauty. From deep within this old growth forest, a six-year-old girl appears. Speechless and alone, she offers no clue as to her identity, no hint of her past.
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Horrible narration
- By Howard Egan on 12-27-20
By: Kristin Hannah
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The Nightingale
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 17 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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With courage, grace, and powerful insight, bestselling author Kristin Hannah captures the epic panorama of World War II and illuminates an intimate part of history seldom seen: the women's war. The Nightingale tells the stories of two sisters, separated by years and experience, by ideals, passion and circumstance, each embarking on her own dangerous path toward survival, love, and freedom in German-occupied, war-torn France—a heartbreakingly beautiful novel that celebrates the resilience of the human spirit and the durability of women. It is a novel for everyone, a novel for a lifetime.
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HEARTBREAKINGLY POIGNANT AND INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL
- By PatrioticMimi on 02-17-15
By: Kristin Hannah
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My Friends
- A Novel
- By: Fredrik Backman
- Narrated by: Marin Ireland
- Length: 13 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Most people don’t even notice them—three tiny figures sitting at the end of a long pier in the corner of one of the most famous paintings in the world. Most people think it’s just a depiction of the sea. But Louisa, an artist herself, knows otherwise and she is determined to find out the story of these three enigmatic figures. Twenty-five years earlier, in a distant town, a group of teenagers find refuge from their difficult home lives by spending their days laughing and telling stories out on a pier.
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How can he keep doing this? Another masterpiece!
- By Blue on 05-08-25
By: Fredrik Backman
Molly, your story is so close to my own… I was in awe that you had written this book for me. I can’t thank you enough. Your book has been an inspiration and a healing blessing for me. God bless you.
Wow what an impact on my life
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Thank you for sharing your story
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I laughed and I cried!
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intentional vulnerability that leads others to the truth
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Beautiful, Vulnerable, Funny
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Fantastic!!
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Funny, raw and real
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Lost me after the first half
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Boring. Not hilarious
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