How to Buy a Planet
The Cleremont Conjectures, Book 1
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $20.99
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Paul Woodson
-
By:
-
D.A. Holdsworth
About this listen
The Earth has been sold. What could possibly go wrong?
SHORTLISTED for The Selfies Fiction Award 2021
FINALIST, Page Turner Awards 2021
The location: London. The date: Very, very soon. Beset by multiple crises and buried under a growing mountain of debt, the leaders of the G7 have taken the only logical decision.
They've sold the planet.
When Toby, a penniless student, and his two new flatmates find out one morning on TV, they're surprised to find the Earth's new alien owners are staggeringly cute and bring the promise of a debt-free future. They're just getting ready to celebrate along with the rest of the world, when a chance encounter with a mysterious professor reveals the truth. And there's a glitch: the Earth is about to be destroyed.
Fresh, fun, and fast-paced, How to Buy a Planet is the unforgettable tale of three students on an impossible quest to beat the system. Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, or sci-fi hero, Doctor Who.
What the critics are saying about How to Buy a Planet:
"Builds a palpable sense of cinematic tension . . . will captivate readers with its ingenuity and timeliness." BookLife Prize Critic's report, Score 8.5/10
"What a timely read . . . Totally mesmerising." Oxford Daily Information review
"Entertaining and fast-moving science fiction adventure . . . Written with a sense of humour, fun, and wonder." Una McCormack, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author
©2020 D.A. Holdsworth (P)2023 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Road to Roswell
- A Novel
- By: Connie Willis
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When level-headed Francie arrives in Roswell, New Mexico, for her college roommate’s UFO-themed wedding—complete with a true-believer bridegroom—she can’t help but roll her eyes at all the wide-eyed talk of aliens, which obviously don’t exist. Imagine her surprise, then, when she is abducted by one. Odder still, her abductor is far from what the popular media have led her to expect, with a body like a tumbleweed and a mass of lightning-fast tentacles. Nor is Francie the only victim of the alien’s abduction spree.
-
-
Connie Willis must be really losing it
- By Mary E Waitrovich on 07-15-23
By: Connie Willis
-
Butcher & Blackbird
- The Ruinous Love Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Brynne Weaver
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a chance encounter sparks an unlikely bond between rival murderers Sloane and Rowan, the two find something elusive—the friendship of a like-minded, pitch-black soul. From small-town West Virginia to upscale California, from downtown Boston to rural Texas, the two hunters collide in an annual game of blood and suffering, one that pits them against the most dangerous monsters in the country.
-
-
Listen, I'm a 'sympathetic retcher'
- By J. Scarlyn on 10-25-23
By: Brynne Weaver
-
Kitty Cat Kill Sat
- A Feline Space Adventure
- By: Argus
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 19 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.
-
-
Amazing sci-fi story (also cat)!
- By C on 06-14-23
By: Argus
-
The Crypt: Shakedown
- The Crypt, Book 1
- By: Scott Sigler
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Few know the warship’s actual name. But everyone has heard the rumors. The PUV James Keeling can do something no other vessel in existence can do—slip into another dimension, travel undetected, then re-emerge onto our plane and surprise enemy targets. But the thing that makes the Crypt unique also makes it a nightmare for those onboard; interdimensional travel causes hallucinations, violent behavior, and psychotic breakdowns. Keeling could be the Union’s greatest weapon, a game-changing asset that can defeat the bloodthirsty zealots of the Purist Nation, the Union’s mortal enemy.
-
-
classic sigler
- By martin on 10-05-23
By: Scott Sigler
-
Brute Force
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A peaceful organization of civilized planets is faced with a threat to their very existence. Desperate to save themselves, they turn for help to the most brutal, backward, violent species in the known galaxy: humans.
-
-
Entertaining at first, disappointing at the end.
- By V. King on 04-29-23
By: Scott Meyer
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Road to Roswell
- A Novel
- By: Connie Willis
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When level-headed Francie arrives in Roswell, New Mexico, for her college roommate’s UFO-themed wedding—complete with a true-believer bridegroom—she can’t help but roll her eyes at all the wide-eyed talk of aliens, which obviously don’t exist. Imagine her surprise, then, when she is abducted by one. Odder still, her abductor is far from what the popular media have led her to expect, with a body like a tumbleweed and a mass of lightning-fast tentacles. Nor is Francie the only victim of the alien’s abduction spree.
-
-
Connie Willis must be really losing it
- By Mary E Waitrovich on 07-15-23
By: Connie Willis
-
Butcher & Blackbird
- The Ruinous Love Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Brynne Weaver
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a chance encounter sparks an unlikely bond between rival murderers Sloane and Rowan, the two find something elusive—the friendship of a like-minded, pitch-black soul. From small-town West Virginia to upscale California, from downtown Boston to rural Texas, the two hunters collide in an annual game of blood and suffering, one that pits them against the most dangerous monsters in the country.
-
-
Listen, I'm a 'sympathetic retcher'
- By J. Scarlyn on 10-25-23
By: Brynne Weaver
-
Kitty Cat Kill Sat
- A Feline Space Adventure
- By: Argus
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 19 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.
-
-
Amazing sci-fi story (also cat)!
- By C on 06-14-23
By: Argus
-
The Crypt: Shakedown
- The Crypt, Book 1
- By: Scott Sigler
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Few know the warship’s actual name. But everyone has heard the rumors. The PUV James Keeling can do something no other vessel in existence can do—slip into another dimension, travel undetected, then re-emerge onto our plane and surprise enemy targets. But the thing that makes the Crypt unique also makes it a nightmare for those onboard; interdimensional travel causes hallucinations, violent behavior, and psychotic breakdowns. Keeling could be the Union’s greatest weapon, a game-changing asset that can defeat the bloodthirsty zealots of the Purist Nation, the Union’s mortal enemy.
-
-
classic sigler
- By martin on 10-05-23
By: Scott Sigler
-
Brute Force
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A peaceful organization of civilized planets is faced with a threat to their very existence. Desperate to save themselves, they turn for help to the most brutal, backward, violent species in the known galaxy: humans.
-
-
Entertaining at first, disappointing at the end.
- By V. King on 04-29-23
By: Scott Meyer
-
Taken to the Stars
- By: J.N. Chaney, Rick Partlow
- Narrated by: John Pirhalla
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Charlie Travers figures his life can’t get much worse. He lives over a pizza restaurant, he’s lost his girlfriend, and has no prospects for a career. Then, he’s abducted by an alien robot and taken across the galaxy. When he wakes up, he finds himself stranded thousands of light-years away, and about to be killed by space pirates.
-
-
Interesting storyline
- By jda on 05-26-24
By: J.N. Chaney, and others
-
Steel World
- Undying Mercenaries, Book 1
- By: B. V. Larson
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the 20th century Earth sent probes, transmissions, and welcoming messages to the stars. Unfortunately, someone noticed. The Galactics arrived with their battle fleet in 2052. Rather than being exterminated under a barrage of hell-burners, Earth joined their vast Empire. Swearing allegiance to our distant alien overlords wasn't the only requirement for survival. We also had to have something of value to trade, something that neighboring planets would pay their hard-earned credits to buy. As most of the local worlds were too civilized to have a proper army, the only valuable service Earth could provide came in the form of soldiers....
-
-
A 14 year old boy’s idea of a “Real Man”
- By C. Brown on 04-16-19
By: B. V. Larson
-
A Stroke of the Pen
- The Lost Stories
- By: Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman - foreword
- Narrated by: David Tennant, Claire Foy, Steffan Rhodri, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A delightfully funny, fantastically inventive collection of twenty unearthed short stories by Sir Terry Pratchett, the award-winning and bestselling author and creator of the phenomenally successful Discworld fantasy series. These rediscovered tales were written by Terry Pratchett under a pseudonym for British newspapers during the 1970s and 1980s. The stories have never been attributed to him until now, and might never have been found—were it not for the efforts of a few dedicated fans.
-
-
It's like a preview of the Disc World
- By K Van on 02-23-24
By: Terry Pratchett, and others
-
The Stranger Times
- The Stranger Times, Book 1
- By: C. K. McDonnell
- Narrated by: Brendan McDonald
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A weekly newspaper dedicated to the weird and the wonderful (but mostly the weird), The Stranger Times is the go-to publication for the unexplained and inexplicable. At least that's their pitch. The reality is rather less auspicious. Their editor is a drunken, foul-tempered and foul-mouthed husk of a man who thinks little of the publication he edits. His staff are a ragtag group of misfits. And as for the assistant editor...well, that job is a revolving door - and it has just revolved to reveal Hannah Willis, who's got problems of her own.
-
-
Animal abuse
- By Meep on 10-26-21
By: C. K. McDonnell
-
A Man with One of Those Faces
- By: Caimh McDonnell
- Narrated by: Morgan C. Jones
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The first time somebody tried to kill him was an accident. The second time was deliberate. Now Paul Mulchrone finds himself on the run with nobody to turn to except a nurse who has read one-too-many crime novels and a renegade copper with a penchant for violence. Together they must solve one of the most notorious crimes in Irish history. Or else they’ll be history.
-
-
Not easily pleased
- By Anna on 08-30-18
By: Caimh McDonnell
-
Below Us
- The Abyss, Book 1
- By: Nathan Hystad
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After a rough break up, Wyatt moves to New York City, eager to prove himself while working on Wall Street. When he’s asked to visit the father of his ex-girlfriend, a billionaire tycoon, his fate is sealed. The revolutionary company, Nu-En, launches a radical innovation, an energy that will allow every person on the planet access to power. Only it doesn’t perform as anticipated. Harnessing the ocean has consequences, and highly dangerous creatures emerge from the depths. Soon, the Earth is fracturing, and the world will never be the same.
-
-
Interesting story but..
- By Mike Fedotov on 09-28-23
By: Nathan Hystad
-
BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
-
-
Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
-
Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
-
-
This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
-
Generation Ship
- A Novel
- By: Michael Mammay
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2108, Colony Ship Voyager departed Earth for the planet of Promissa with 18,000 of the world’s best and brightest on board. 250 years and 27 light years later, an arrival is imminent. But all is not well. The probes that they’ve sent ahead to gather the data needed to establish any kind of settlement aren’t responding, and the information they have received has presented more questions than answers. It’s a time when the entire crew should be coming together to solve the problem, but science officer Sheila Jackson can’t get people to listen.
-
-
Little too much political shenanigans for me😬
- By Samuel Warren on 10-19-23
By: Michael Mammay
-
Earth's First Starfighter Omnibus: Books 1-4
- By: Han Yang, Michael Angel
- Narrated by: Matt Hicks, Allie Piper
- Length: 42 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The aliens tested humans on an individual basis for miner rentals. Do well on your pilot test, get a spaceship, sign up with a corp, and you can mine the belt. For a puddle-jumper pilot like me, yeah, I was so interested I became obsessed. When I finally tested, I performed above and beyond, being offered a contract for some better than a miner - Earth's First Starfighter.
-
-
you definitely put this thing on Netflix. it will make a great animated series
- By JAMES LEWIS on 09-11-24
By: Han Yang, and others
-
On Earth as It Is on Television
- By: Emily Jane
- Narrated by: Hayden Bishop
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since long before the spaceships' fleeting presence, Blaine has been content to go along with the whims of his supermom wife and half-feral, television-addicted children. But when the kids blithely ponder skinning people to see if they're aliens, and his wife drags them all on a surprise road trip to Disney World, even steady Blaine begins to crack. Half a continent away, Heather floats in a Malibu pool and watches the massive ships hover overhead. Maybe her life is finally going to start.
-
-
Their narrator was great…that is all.
- By Matthew Nichols on 12-23-23
By: Emily Jane
-
Differently Morphous
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A magical serial killer is on the loose, and gelatinous, otherworldly creatures are infesting the English countryside. Which is making life for the Ministry of Occultism difficult, because magic is supposed to be their best kept secret. After centuries in the shadows, the Ministry is forced to unmask, exposing the country's magical history - and magical citizens - to a brave new world of social media, government scrutiny, and public relations.
-
-
Not for everybody
- By R. MCRACKAN on 09-24-18
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
Related to this topic
-
Will Save the Galaxy for Food
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
-
-
Great
- By K. F. on 03-09-17
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
-
The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax
- By: Christopher Shevlin
- Narrated by: Finlay Robertson
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government. Teaming up with a suave private investigator, a glamorous granny and the probable love of his life, Jonathon must confront his greatest fears - including talking to girls and balaclava-clad killers - and answer some very difficult questions.
-
-
Great story with LOL moments
- By Bethany on 12-11-20
-
Interstellar Caveman
- Interstellar Caveman, Book 1
- By: Karl Beecher
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.
-
-
Hairy knees won't stop Colin!
- By Willis Burns on 11-19-19
By: Karl Beecher
-
Space Tripping
- By: Patrick Edwards
- Narrated by: Nick Tecosky
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chuck never thought too deeply about whether aliens existed - not until Jopp, an intergalactic transport pilot, drunkenly crashed on Earth and tried to steal his truck. Now Chuck finds himself unwittingly roped into helping Jopp work off a debt to the universe's most powerful corporation, the Prime Partners Intergalactic Consortium. Through a series of mishaps and misfortune, the duo find themselves in possession of a mysterious black case. In order to survive, they must fend off murderous marauders, an interplanetary police force, and a peculiar crime boss.
-
-
Excellent Book!
- By Ian Matties on 09-07-17
By: Patrick Edwards
-
The Very First Damned Thing
- An Author-Read Audio Exclusive
- By: Jodi Taylor
- Narrated by: Jodi Taylor
- Length: 2 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jodi Taylor reads the long-awaited prequel in her Chronicles of St Mary’s series, as Dr Bairstow struggles to set up St Mary’s as we know it in a world still scarred by the ravages of civil war. Ever wondered how it all began? It’s two years since the final victory at the Battersea Barricades. The fighting might be finished, but for Dr Bairstow, just now setting up St Mary's, the struggle is only beginning. How will he assemble his team? From where will his funding come?
-
-
Wait for it on Kindle. Not the best on audio
- By Sheryl on 11-05-15
By: Jodi Taylor
-
Kid Normal
- By: Greg James, Chris Smith
- Narrated by: Greg James, Chris Smith
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Murph Cooper rocks up to his new school, he can't help but feel a bit out of his depth. And it's not because he's worried about where to sit, and making friends, and fitting in, or not knowing where the loos are. It's because his mum has enrolled him at a school for superheroes by mistake. And unlike his fellow students Murph has no special abilities whatsoever. But just because you don't have superpowers, it doesn't mean you can't save the day....
-
-
Easy listen, mostly
- By Jules on 05-28-20
By: Greg James, and others
-
Will Save the Galaxy for Food
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
-
-
Great
- By K. F. on 03-09-17
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
-
The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax
- By: Christopher Shevlin
- Narrated by: Finlay Robertson
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government. Teaming up with a suave private investigator, a glamorous granny and the probable love of his life, Jonathon must confront his greatest fears - including talking to girls and balaclava-clad killers - and answer some very difficult questions.
-
-
Great story with LOL moments
- By Bethany on 12-11-20
-
Interstellar Caveman
- Interstellar Caveman, Book 1
- By: Karl Beecher
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.
-
-
Hairy knees won't stop Colin!
- By Willis Burns on 11-19-19
By: Karl Beecher
-
Space Tripping
- By: Patrick Edwards
- Narrated by: Nick Tecosky
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chuck never thought too deeply about whether aliens existed - not until Jopp, an intergalactic transport pilot, drunkenly crashed on Earth and tried to steal his truck. Now Chuck finds himself unwittingly roped into helping Jopp work off a debt to the universe's most powerful corporation, the Prime Partners Intergalactic Consortium. Through a series of mishaps and misfortune, the duo find themselves in possession of a mysterious black case. In order to survive, they must fend off murderous marauders, an interplanetary police force, and a peculiar crime boss.
-
-
Excellent Book!
- By Ian Matties on 09-07-17
By: Patrick Edwards
-
The Very First Damned Thing
- An Author-Read Audio Exclusive
- By: Jodi Taylor
- Narrated by: Jodi Taylor
- Length: 2 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jodi Taylor reads the long-awaited prequel in her Chronicles of St Mary’s series, as Dr Bairstow struggles to set up St Mary’s as we know it in a world still scarred by the ravages of civil war. Ever wondered how it all began? It’s two years since the final victory at the Battersea Barricades. The fighting might be finished, but for Dr Bairstow, just now setting up St Mary's, the struggle is only beginning. How will he assemble his team? From where will his funding come?
-
-
Wait for it on Kindle. Not the best on audio
- By Sheryl on 11-05-15
By: Jodi Taylor
-
Kid Normal
- By: Greg James, Chris Smith
- Narrated by: Greg James, Chris Smith
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Murph Cooper rocks up to his new school, he can't help but feel a bit out of his depth. And it's not because he's worried about where to sit, and making friends, and fitting in, or not knowing where the loos are. It's because his mum has enrolled him at a school for superheroes by mistake. And unlike his fellow students Murph has no special abilities whatsoever. But just because you don't have superpowers, it doesn't mean you can't save the day....
-
-
Easy listen, mostly
- By Jules on 05-28-20
By: Greg James, and others
-
The Game
- The Game Is Life, Book 1
- By: Terry Schott
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What if life as we know it was just a game? What if instead of traditional schools, children learned by participating in a virtual reality simulation, one that allowed them to experience "life" from birth to death - multiple times? What if one player, on his final play, could change the world forever?
-
-
A good concept mired by lazy writing.
- By Khada on 01-03-17
By: Terry Schott
-
Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
-
-
This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
-
Crossover
- Cassandra Kresnov, Book 1
- By: Joel Shepherd
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Crossover is the first novel in a series which follows the adventures of Cassandra Kresnov, an artificial person, or android, created by the League, one side of an interstellar war against the more powerful, conservative Federation. Cassandra is an experimental design - more intelligent, more creative, and far more dangerous than any that have preceded her. But with her intellect come questions, and a moral awakening. She deserts the League and heads incognito into the space of her former enemy, the Federation, in search of a new life.
-
-
Crossover to a Different Book
- By Tango on 03-07-13
By: Joel Shepherd
-
Stonemouth
- A Novel
- By: Iain Banks
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Stewart Gilmour is back in Stonemouth. After five years in exile his presence is required at the funeral of patriarch Joe Murston, and even though the last time Stu saw the Murstons he was running for his life, staying away might be even more dangerous than turning up. An estuary town north of Aberdeen, Stonemouth, with its five mile beach, can be beautiful on a sunny day. On a bleak one it can seem to offer little more than seafog, gangsters, cheap drugs and a suspension bridge irresistible to suicides.
-
-
Pretty Offensive Stuff
- By MJ on 10-20-12
By: Iain Banks
-
Written in Dead Wax
- The Vinyl Detective, Book 1
- By: Andrew Cartmel
- Narrated by: Ben Allen
- Length: 13 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He is a record collector and a connoisseur of vinyl, hunting out rare and elusive LPs. His business card describes him as the Vinyl Detective, and some people take this more literally than others. For example, the beautiful, mysterious woman who wants to pay him a large sum of money to find a priceless lost recording on behalf of an extremely wealthy yet shadowy client. And so begins a painful and dangerous odyssey in search of the rarest jazz record of them all....
-
-
Outstanding narration!
- By John S. on 01-31-17
By: Andrew Cartmel
-
Double Threat
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch, Stephanie Willing, Rupert Degas
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the southwestern desert, a mysterious cult prays for the return of the Visitors. Only one creature can derail that grand and glorious event: An evil entity, known as the Duad, can keep the Visitors from arriving and prevent the transfiguration to come. Daley, who lives nearby, has a far more serious problem: an alien consciousness that has taken up residence in her head.
-
-
So ready to see what's ahead next!
- By Stacy on 10-09-21
By: F. Paul Wilson
-
Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
-
-
Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
-
The Night Raven
- Crow Investigations, Book 1
- By: Sarah Painter
- Narrated by: Kate Rawson
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lydia has always known she has no power, especially next to her infamous and more-than-slightly dodgy family. Which is why she carved her own life as a private investigator far away from London. When a professional snafu forces her home, the head of the family calls in a favour, and Lydia finds herself investigating the disappearance of her cousin, Maddie.
-
-
Ask yourself
- By Ijw on 10-21-19
By: Sarah Painter
-
Monday Starts on Saturday
- By: Arkady Strugatsky, Boris Strugatsky, Andrew Bromfield - translator, and others
- Narrated by: Ramiz Monsef
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sasha, a young computer programmer from Leningrad, is driving north to meet some friends for a nature vacation. He picks up a couple of hitchhikers who persuade him to take a job at the National Institute for the Technology of Witchcraft and Thaumaturgy. The adventures Sasha has in the largely dysfunctional institute involve all sorts of magical beings - a wish-granting fish, a tree mermaid, a cat who can remember only the beginnings of stories, a dream-interpreting sofa, and many more.
-
-
Maybe I should have read this one.
- By M. Gage on 08-08-18
By: Arkady Strugatsky, and others
-
Standing by the Wall
- The Collected Slough House Novellas
- By: Mick Herron
- Narrated by: Gerard Doyle
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Espionage. Blackmail. Revenge. Cunning. Slapstick. State secrets dating back to the fall of the Berlin Wall. All this and more in a tight package of five novellas by Mick Herron, CWA Gold Dagger-winning author of Slow Horses.
-
-
More Please
- By Katy on 01-27-23
By: Mick Herron
-
First and Only
- By: Peter Flannery
- Narrated by: RD Watson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do you believe in psychics? What if there really was someone who could see into the future, read people's thoughts, and move things with their mind? What kind of person would they be, and how would they reveal themselves to the world? Psimon is just such a man, a real and genuine psychic. But Psimon has a problem. In five days' time he is going to die at the hands of a serial killer known only as Lucifer. His only hope is to enlist the services of former SAS soldier Steve Brennus, a man whose family life and business have just collapsed in ruins.
-
-
Slow developing, but the story comes around
- By Allen Anthony on 04-12-16
By: Peter Flannery
-
A Man with One of Those Faces
- By: Caimh McDonnell
- Narrated by: Morgan C. Jones
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The first time somebody tried to kill him was an accident. The second time was deliberate. Now Paul Mulchrone finds himself on the run with nobody to turn to except a nurse who has read one-too-many crime novels and a renegade copper with a penchant for violence. Together they must solve one of the most notorious crimes in Irish history. Or else they’ll be history.
-
-
Not easily pleased
- By Anna on 08-30-18
By: Caimh McDonnell
What listeners say about How to Buy a Planet
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- SIMON
- 07-02-23
Awesome narrator, great story and satire for our times
The narrator is absolutely A++. I bought the book but didn’t get around to “reading” it until the audiobook came out.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!