Dr. Vanessa Klugman shares her powerful 10-year recovery story, revealing how perfectionism and people-pleasing led to prescription drug addiction that cost her medical license. Discover the evidence-based tools she used to transform her inner critic into self-compassion and build a thriving life coaching practice.

What You'll Learn

• Why perfectionism can be a dangerous form of self-sabotage
• The connection between achievement-based love and addiction
• Three powerful tools to quiet your inner critic: CBT, meditation, and self-compassion
• How to practice the life-changing "self-compassion break" technique
• Why struggling is part of the human experience (and how to embrace it)
• The difference between mindfulness meditation and other types
• How to rebuild your identity after losing everything

Key Takeaways

"Addiction is the solution, not the problem" - Vanessa explains how substances become coping mechanisms for deeper issues like perfectionism, poor boundaries, and people-pleasing.

The self-compassion break has three parts:

1. Mindfulness - Notice you're struggling
2. Self-kindness - Offer yourself compassion
3. Common humanity - Remember you're not alone

Guest Bio

Dr. Vanessa Klugman is a physician turned recovery coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-sabotaging habits, including perfectionism, procrastination, and addiction. After losing her medical license due to prescription drug addiction, she rebuilt her life using evidence-based practices and now coaches clients nationwide.

Resources Mentioned

• Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance podcast and books
• Kristin Neff - Self-Compassion research and practices
• RAIN meditation technique
• 12-step recovery programs
• Mindfulness-based self-compassion courses

Connect with Dr. Vanessa Klugman

Website: resiliencerecoverycoaching.com
Instagram: @resiliencerecoverycoaching
Facebook: Resilience Recovery Coaching

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Episode Highlights: Paulette Kengg, 67, shares her powerful transformation from a "take it or leave it" drinker to alcohol addiction in her mid-50s, and her ultimate freedom through faith-based recovery. After battling chronic insomnia for 8.5 years and following and old friend's advice to drink wine as a sleep aid, Paulette found herself addicted to alcohol—keeping a wine bottle by her bedside instead of sleeping pills.

Key Topics Discussed:

• How chronic insomnia led to alcohol dependency
• Why AA and traditional recovery programs didn't work for Paula
• The role of trauma in addiction (Paulette's father was murdered when she was 14)
• Combining neuroscience with biblical principles for lasting sobriety
• The Heart of Addiction Bible study by Mark Shaw
• Overcoming shame around addiction in Christian communities
• EMDR therapy and trauma healing
• Neuroplasticity and brain recovery in sobriety
• Daily spiritual practices for maintaining sobriety

Paula's Sobriety Tools:

• Daily Bible study, prayer, and meditation
• Journaling (she's kept journals since age 14)
• Exercise and proper nutrition
• Self-compassion and reparenting work
• Serving others in recovery community

Near-Death Experience: Paulette shares her harrowing story of nearly bleeding to death after mixing Jack Daniels with Ambien, emphasizing how addiction progressed despite life-threatening consequences.

Resources Mentioned:

• Spirit-Led Sobriety book by Paulette Kengg
• This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
• Andrew Huberman Podcast Episode 86
• Heart of Addiction Bible study
• EMDR therapy
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Connect with Paulette:

• Newsletter: spiritledsobriety.com
• Instagram: @spiritledsobriety2
• Facebook: Spirit-Led Sobriety (private group)
• Email: spiritledsobriety@gmail.com

Episode Takeaways: Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. Paulette's journey shows that combining scientific understanding of addiction with spiritual transformation can create lasting change. Her story demonstrates the importance of not giving up on yourself, even after years of failed attempts.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Feeling Drained Even in Sobriety? Here's Why (And What to Do About It)

You got sober. You did the hard work. So why do you still feel completely emotionally exhausted?

In this powerful episode of Confident Sober Women, host Shelby John dives deep into the silent struggle many sober women face—emotional dysregulation and nervous system burnout. If you're walking through life in a fog of overwhelm or feeling like you’re doing everything “right” but still running on empty, this one’s for you.

Sobriety gets you out of the chaos, but it doesn’t automatically heal trauma or reset your nervous system. That’s the work of emotional sobriety—and it’s what this episode is all about.

💡 Here’s what you’ll learn today:

✅ Why emotional exhaustion in sobriety is not a sign of failure
✅ The difference between sobriety and emotional sobriety
✅ How to regulate your nervous system before trying to “solve” anything
✅ A 3-step roadmap to rebuild your emotional energy from the inside out
✅ Practical tools to ground your body and process emotions without judgment

Shelby also shares the proven healing tools she uses in her practice like EMDR therapy, EMDR intensives, and remote neurofeedback—and how they can support deeper emotional healing, even years into sobriety.

🛠️ Three Steps to Begin Rebuilding Today

1. Regulate First, Reflect Later – Calm your nervous system before diving into “why.” Use grounding tools like deep nasal breathing, 5-4-3-2-1, or a quick barefoot walk.
2. Name the Emotion Without Judgment – Practice saying, “Right now, I’m noticing…” to acknowledge and release your feelings safely.
3. Rebuild from the Root – Go deeper than symptoms. Address unresolved trauma and dysregulation with effective tools like EMDR or neurofeedback.

If you're ready to stop white-knuckling your emotions and start truly healing, this episode offers compassionate insight and doable steps to start feeling better now.

🎧 Don’t forget to hit subscribe and share this episode with a sober sister or any woman you know who’s navigating emotional overwhelm—even if she’s not in recovery.

📍 Want deeper support?
👉 Learn about EMDR Intensives
👉 Explore Remote Neurofeedback Programs

✨ Emotional exhaustion doesn't mean you're not strong. It means your body is asking for deeper care—and you absolutely deserve that.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this transformative episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, Dr. Ginny Trierweiler unveils a deeply personal and scientifically-backed journey of health transformation that will challenge everything you thought you knew about dieting, nutrition, and wellness.

Dr. Trierweiler shares her powerful personal story of hitting rock bottom at 55 - struggling with chronic pain, pre-diabetes, and feeling trapped in a body that was rapidly deteriorating. Her pivotal moment came while working in nursing homes, witnessing individuals in their 60s and 70s losing their independence.

Breaking the Dieting Cycle

• Why traditional calorie-cutting approaches are actually making metabolic health WORSE
• How 70% of food in our environment is processed and destructive to our health
• The critical difference between calories and nutrients
• Why intuitive eating can be dangerous for those struggling with health challenges

Emotional and Physical Transformation

Dr. Trierweiler candidly discusses:

• Overcoming alcohol dependency
• Dealing with chronic pain through nutrition
• Reconnecting with her body's true needs
• The emotional journey of healing beyond just physical symptoms

Revolutionary Nutrition Principles

Dr. Trierweiler breaks down her evidence-based approach to nutrition, revealing:

1. Abundant Nutritious Eating: Contrary to restrictive diets, she advocates eating MORE of the right foods
2. Nutrient Density Over Calorie Counting: Understanding how what you eat matters more than how much
3. Holistic Healing: Addressing gut health, hormones, and cellular nutrition
4. Sustainable Lifestyle Changes: Creating a approach that feels liberating, not restrictive

Mindset Shifts for Lasting Change

• Breaking free from food and alcohol addiction
• Understanding the dopamine vs. serotonin response to food
• Creating positive emotions around healthy habits
• Treating nutrition as self-care, not punishment

Connect:

• Book Waitlist: Slender for Good Book Waitlist
• Website: Slender for Good
• Facebook: Ginny Trierweiler
• LinkedIn: Ginny Trierweiler
• Instagram: @drginnytrierweiler

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this powerful episode of Confident Sober Women, host Shelby welcomes Julie Bloom, a recovery coach and mental health trainer who shares her inspiring 7-year sobriety journey that began with an unexpected "gift of illness."

Episode Highlights:

Julie reveals how severe burnout, PTSD, and vertigo became catalysts for her sobriety journey after 20 years as a college Spanish teacher. As a former "well-caffeinated and chardonnay working mom," Julie describes how her alcohol dependence developed while balancing career demands with raising a young daughter.

The conversation explores how serious health challenges—including debilitating vertigo—forced Julie to stop drinking and began her recovery, initially through audiobooks and podcasts like The Bubble Hour while isolated "in the corner of her sectional."

Key Insights on Recovery:

• Identity Transformation: Julie discusses how sobriety required creating a new identity after leaving her tenured teaching position, leading to certification as both a professional and recovery coach.
• Emotional Regulation: Learn practical techniques for managing emotions, including mindfulness, journaling, and "adaptive thinking"—giving the appropriate amount of time, space, and energy to situations.
• Creativity in Recovery: Discover how breaking free from addiction cycles unleashes creative potential, providing the "clarity, bandwidth, and energy" needed to envision and build a fulfilling life.
• Midlife Challenges: The episode addresses how perimenopause, career dissatisfaction, and relationship issues often intersect with recovery journeys, creating what Julie calls a "shitty planet alignment."

Julie shares her journey of professional reinvention, becoming a mental health trainer and speaker who helps others develop resilience and adaptability. She emphasizes the importance of community and altruism in recovery, including her work with SheRecovers.

Shelby and Julie discuss how ADHD symptoms can intensify during perimenopause due to decreasing estrogen levels, highlighting the need for neurological approaches to healing beyond traditional talk therapy.

This episode provides valuable insights for women seeking sobriety and emotional well-being, particularly during significant life transitions.

For more information, follow Julie at

juliebloomworld on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, or email julie@juliebloomworld.com.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Why You're Always Anxious (And How To Regulate Your Nervous System)

Welcome back to The Confident Sober Women Podcast! I’m your host, Shelby John, sober therapist, EMDR therapist, and fellow woman in recovery. In today’s solo episode, we’re diving into a topic that comes up constantly with my clients, friends, and even in my own life: nervous system regulation.

You might say, “Why am I always anxious?” or “Why do I feel overwhelmed when nothing’s even wrong?” If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We’ll explore why your anxiety often seems to appear out of nowhere, what’s really happening in your body, and the powerful science-backed tools you can use to feel calm, clear, and in control—especially in sobriety.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

✔️ What your nervous system actually does (think of it like your body’s operating system)
✔️ How trauma, stress, and addiction keep your system in fight-or-flight—even when you’re safe
✔️ Why nervous system regulation is crucial to sustainable sobriety
✔️ Three simple tools to use TODAY to reduce anxiety and regain calm:

• The Physiological Sigh (a proven breath technique straight from neuroscience)
• Orienting to Safety (a quick somatic practice to ground your body)
• Name It to Tame It (a powerful brain hack to reduce emotional reactivity by 50%)

Plus, I share how EMDR therapy and remote neurofeedback go beyond talk therapy to retrain your brain and heal anxiety and trauma at the root. These tools are especially helpful for women who’ve been sober a year or more and are craving deeper healing and emotional freedom.

If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your day and finally feel peace in your body—this episode will show you exactly how to start.

🔗 Want to try remote neurofeedback from home?
Learn more about my program and see if it’s right for you at shelbyjohn.com
💥 It’s available to women worldwide—no license limitations!

✨ Share this with a sober sister who needs to hear it, and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast so we can reach more incredible women just like you.

You are not alone. You are not broken. And you don’t have to stay stuck in anxiety. 💛

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this insightful conversation, Shelby welcomes Amanda Kuda, author of "Unbottled Potential," to discuss different pathways to sobriety and the importance of finding what resonates with you personally.

Amanda shares her journey to sobriety, which began when she realized her weekend drinking habits were counteracting her weekday personal development work. Despite not hitting "rock bottom" or fitting traditional addiction narratives, she recognized alcohol was preventing her from becoming her most authentic self.

Key Takeaways:

• Amanda's approach to sobriety came from a spiritual angle, studying influencers like Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, and Gabby Bernstein
• Both women discuss how there are multiple valid paths to recovery beyond the 12-step model
• The skills of emotional regulation and sitting with discomfort are essential for long-term sobriety
• Journaling prompt: "Wait, what am I thinking?" can help process emotions that might trigger drinking
• Learning to name your emotions and accept all feelings as valid helps reduce emotional volatility

Amanda emphasizes that you don't need to have a "drinking problem" for alcohol to be a problem in your life. If it's preventing you from being your most authentic self, that's reason enough to question your relationship with it.

Shelby highlights how recent research, including the 2025 Surgeon General's report, confirms that no amount of alcohol is safe for consumption, supporting the decision to live alcohol-free regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of use.

This conversation powerfully illustrates that recovery doesn't always fit into prescribed models - what matters most is finding an approach that resonates with you and leads to a better life.

Connect with Amanda Kuda:

• Website: amandakuda.com
• Instagram: @amandakuda
• TikTok: @amanda.kuda
• Facebook: amandakuda
• LinkedIn: amandakuda
• Book - Unbottled Potential: Amazon

Are you ready to explore your relationship with alcohol from a fresh perspective? This episode offers compassionate insights for anyone questioning their drinking habits, regardless of where you are on your journey.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

In this powerful episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, we're joined by Janice Johnson Dowd, author of "Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery." As a retired social worker with 12 years of sobriety and a mother of four, Janice shares her journey from functioning alcoholic to recovery advocate with remarkable candor.

Episode Highlights:

• Janice's background working in addiction treatment centers before her own alcoholism developed in her 40s
• The complex dynamics of balancing motherhood, career, and self-care that contributed to her drinking
• Her experience with inpatient treatment and how focusing exclusively on recovery actually damaged family relationships
• The challenging path of repairing relationships with her four children (ages 13-21 at the time of her treatment)
• Why validation, accountability, and persistent communication are crucial for family healing
• The importance of finding balance between recovery work and family reconnection
• How to effectively listen to and validate different family members' experiences
• Why staying sober is the foundation for rebuilding trust, but isn't enough on its own

Practical Takeaways:

1. Take accountability for your actions and validate others' perspectives, even when they differ from yours
2. Practice deep listening without immediate reactions, especially with adolescents and young adults
3. Persist in healing efforts even when family therapy or initial conversations feel uncomfortable or unsuccessful
4. Recognize developmental differences in how children process a parent's addiction and recovery
5. Find balance between recovery work and family engagement
6. Take advantage of small moments for connection and organic healing conversations
7. Get support from sponsors, therapists, and recovery peers when navigating challenging family situations

Janice emphasizes that repair is possible even after significant damage to relationships. Her story offers hope to those struggling with similar challenges and provides practical guidance for rebuilding what addiction has broken.

Connect with Janice:

• Book: "Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" by Janice V. Johnson Dowd
• Website: janicejohnsondowd.com
• Instagram: @parenting_inn_recovery

Whether you're in recovery yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights into the complex journey of family healing after addiction.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.