Dr. Vanessa Klugman shares her powerful 10-year recovery story, revealing how perfectionism and people-pleasing led to prescription drug addiction that cost her medical license. Discover the evidence-based tools she used to transform her inner critic into self-compassion and build a thriving life coaching practice.

What You'll Learn

• Why perfectionism can be a dangerous form of self-sabotage
• The connection between achievement-based love and addiction
• Three powerful tools to quiet your inner critic: CBT, meditation, and self-compassion
• How to practice the life-changing "self-compassion break" technique
• Why struggling is part of the human experience (and how to embrace it)
• The difference between mindfulness meditation and other types
• How to rebuild your identity after losing everything

Key Takeaways

"Addiction is the solution, not the problem" - Vanessa explains how substances become coping mechanisms for deeper issues like perfectionism, poor boundaries, and people-pleasing.

The self-compassion break has three parts:

1. Mindfulness - Notice you're struggling
2. Self-kindness - Offer yourself compassion
3. Common humanity - Remember you're not alone

Guest Bio

Dr. Vanessa Klugman is a physician turned recovery coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-sabotaging habits, including perfectionism, procrastination, and addiction. After losing her medical license due to prescription drug addiction, she rebuilt her life using evidence-based practices and now coaches clients nationwide.

Resources Mentioned

• Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance podcast and books
• Kristin Neff - Self-Compassion research and practices
• RAIN meditation technique
• 12-step recovery programs
• Mindfulness-based self-compassion courses

Connect with Dr. Vanessa Klugman

Website: resiliencerecoverycoaching.com
Instagram: @resiliencerecoverycoaching
Facebook: Resilience Recovery Coaching

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Episode Highlights: Paulette Kengg, 67, shares her powerful transformation from a "take it or leave it" drinker to alcohol addiction in her mid-50s, and her ultimate freedom through faith-based recovery. After battling chronic insomnia for 8.5 years and following and old friend's advice to drink wine as a sleep aid, Paulette found herself addicted to alcohol—keeping a wine bottle by her bedside instead of sleeping pills.

Key Topics Discussed:

• How chronic insomnia led to alcohol dependency
• Why AA and traditional recovery programs didn't work for Paula
• The role of trauma in addiction (Paulette's father was murdered when she was 14)
• Combining neuroscience with biblical principles for lasting sobriety
• The Heart of Addiction Bible study by Mark Shaw
• Overcoming shame around addiction in Christian communities
• EMDR therapy and trauma healing
• Neuroplasticity and brain recovery in sobriety
• Daily spiritual practices for maintaining sobriety

Paula's Sobriety Tools:

• Daily Bible study, prayer, and meditation
• Journaling (she's kept journals since age 14)
• Exercise and proper nutrition
• Self-compassion and reparenting work
• Serving others in recovery community

Near-Death Experience: Paulette shares her harrowing story of nearly bleeding to death after mixing Jack Daniels with Ambien, emphasizing how addiction progressed despite life-threatening consequences.

Resources Mentioned:

• Spirit-Led Sobriety book by Paulette Kengg
• This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
• Andrew Huberman Podcast Episode 86
• Heart of Addiction Bible study
• EMDR therapy
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Connect with Paulette:

• Newsletter: spiritledsobriety.com
• Instagram: @spiritledsobriety2
• Facebook: Spirit-Led Sobriety (private group)
• Email: spiritledsobriety@gmail.com

Episode Takeaways: Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. Paulette's journey shows that combining scientific understanding of addiction with spiritual transformation can create lasting change. Her story demonstrates the importance of not giving up on yourself, even after years of failed attempts.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

Feeling Drained Even in Sobriety? Here's Why (And What to Do About It)

You got sober. You did the hard work. So why do you still feel completely emotionally exhausted?

In this powerful episode of Confident Sober Women, host Shelby John dives deep into the silent struggle many sober women face—emotional dysregulation and nervous system burnout. If you're walking through life in a fog of overwhelm or feeling like you’re doing everything “right” but still running on empty, this one’s for you.

Sobriety gets you out of the chaos, but it doesn’t automatically heal trauma or reset your nervous system. That’s the work of emotional sobriety—and it’s what this episode is all about.

💡 Here’s what you’ll learn today:

✅ Why emotional exhaustion in sobriety is not a sign of failure
✅ The difference between sobriety and emotional sobriety
✅ How to regulate your nervous system before trying to “solve” anything
✅ A 3-step roadmap to rebuild your emotional energy from the inside out
✅ Practical tools to ground your body and process emotions without judgment

Shelby also shares the proven healing tools she uses in her practice like EMDR therapy, EMDR intensives, and remote neurofeedback—and how they can support deeper emotional healing, even years into sobriety.

🛠️ Three Steps to Begin Rebuilding Today

1. Regulate First, Reflect Later – Calm your nervous system before diving into “why.” Use grounding tools like deep nasal breathing, 5-4-3-2-1, or a quick barefoot walk.
2. Name the Emotion Without Judgment – Practice saying, “Right now, I’m noticing…” to acknowledge and release your feelings safely.
3. Rebuild from the Root – Go deeper than symptoms. Address unresolved trauma and dysregulation with effective tools like EMDR or neurofeedback.

If you're ready to stop white-knuckling your emotions and start truly healing, this episode offers compassionate insight and doable steps to start feeling better now.

🎧 Don’t forget to hit subscribe and share this episode with a sober sister or any woman you know who’s navigating emotional overwhelm—even if she’s not in recovery.

📍 Want deeper support?
👉 Learn about EMDR Intensives
👉 Explore Remote Neurofeedback Programs

✨ Emotional exhaustion doesn't mean you're not strong. It means your body is asking for deeper care—and you absolutely deserve that.

Support the show

Support the show

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here!

If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.