Showing results by narrator "Jessica Almasy" in All Categories

The show must go on…even if it takes a U-turn into Hell. I have too much to lose if Pandora wins. With the love of my demonic life by my side, along with the profane, toothpick-loving Keeper of Fate, and a cast of inappropriate characters, I’m going to embrace this starring role. I have to. If I can’t solve the problem of unboxing the box, my life as I know it will be over. No TV show, no close-up, and, definitely, no Emmy. So, I’m onto my next gig. I have no clue how the episode will end.

With my life back to normal - normal being a very relative word - one would think I’d catch a break. One would be very wrong. With an angel gunning for me and a demon in my bed, life couldn’t be more complicated. Not to mention, I’m going to have to make a rather large life choice. Do I want to live forever? Does anyone? Forever is a very long time. Whatever. I’ll think about it tomorrow...or next week...or next month. As long as I have my girlfriends, my dogs, a super-sized case of merlot, and my deceased squatters, I’m good to go.

Thirty-nine was a fantastic year. I was married to the man I loved. I had a body that worked without creaking. My grandma, who raised me, was still healthy, and life was pretty damned good. But as they say, all good things come to an end. One year later, I’m a widow. My joints are starting to ache. Gram is in the nursing home, and dead people think my home is some kind of supernatural bed-and-breakfast. Gluing body parts onto semi-transparent people has become a side job - deceased people I’m not even sure are actually there.

Being 40 is supposed to be freaking fabulous, not fatal. Taking on a daunting new job minus the description isn’t the smartest move I’ve ever made, even if it was to save a friend. Hopefully, it doesn’t turn out to be the stupidest...or deadliest. Why can’t things stay the way they were? I love my old job. Supergluing ghosts back together and solving their issues is its own reward. Not to mention, I’m seriously good at it. Although, I must say, I’m ridiculously excited for the new Death Counselor’s arrival in nine months....

With a new job I didn’t apply for and an extended family I didn’t know I had - midlife has become somewhat problematic. Gluing ghosts back together is easy compared to my new celestial occupation. The Grim Reaper wants to put a ring on it. Tim wants to be a father. Candy Vargo has lost her damn mind, and Jennifer thinks we’re all sparkly vampires. I’ve been given an impossible task with catastrophic consequences for failure, but it wouldn’t be my midlife without another crisis.

After a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader moment, I discovered I do indeed have a father. He comes with a hell of a lot of baggage, but I’ve decided to keep him. Not only do I have a father, I have a kick-ass new sister, a ghostly family, and super powers to boot. If you add to the mix that I’m dating the Grim Reaper, it’s a freakin’ party. The only thing standing in the way of my happiness is the Angel of Mercy, though Angel of Misery is more appropriate. She’s responsible for almost everyone I have loved, and who has loved me, being taken away.

Never in my 40 years did I think my new normal would be gluing body parts back onto ghosts and hosting a houseful of dead squatters. Thank God for superglue and a strong stomach. Never thought I’d date the Grim Reaper and that I would be the one to blow it. I mean, how idiotic does one have to be to get dumped by a dude who lives in Hell? Going about business as usual is not usual in any way. No one is who they seem to be...and to be honest, neither am I. What I’d known to be true has turned out to be myth. The angels are frightening, and the demons are hot.

Just when I thought life might be getting back to normal—normal being a relative word—I couldn’t have been more wrong. Marriage proposal from the Grim Reaper? Yes. Beautiful healthy baby? Yes. Friends and family safe? Yes. Ghost of my worst enemy sitting on my front porch? OMG. Yep. With the ghostly world imploding around me, I’m going to need more than superglue to repair it.

Thirteen-year-old Emily Poe has been given the opportunity of a lifetime: A chance to attend the exclusive Audyn School in Manhattan. But to win the scholarship, she has to pass a test like nothing she’s ever experienced before: A nearly bare room, a set of strange clues, a locked door. And a mysterious organization - the Leopold Foundation - that’s watching her every move.

In this sequel to Sara Pennypacker's acclaimed Clementine, the precocious third grader's class teams with the fourth graders to put on a talent show. The only problem: Clementine doesn't have any talents. Meanwhile, her best friend Margaret has so many she has to keep track of them alphabetically. Soon the big night arrives and Clementine has nothing to perform. But she has a hidden skill that will save the show from certain disaster.

Cameron Boxer is very happy to spend his life avoiding homework, hanging out with his friends, and gaming for hours in his basement. It's not too hard for him to get away with it...until he gets so caught up in one game that he almost lets his house burn down around him. Oops. It's time for some serious damage control - so Cameron and his friends invent a fake school club that will make it seem like they're doing good deeds instead of slacking off. The problem? Some kids think the club is real.

Convinced that their dastardly uncle Freidrich has escaped with their family fortune, the Flamingo Sisters return home to the Upper Lower Valley Mountain Rural Region in despair. But when their beloved mentor Elsie de la Rue goes missing—and they discover a new clue that may lead them to their lost Golden Flamingo—the three sisters take off on another thrilling chase in the skies! They join the death-defying pilots of the Women’s Air Derby, then hopscotch from New York to France to Egypt, determined to stop their uncle from spreading evil across the globe.

I want to live my life in peace for a little while as opposed to pieces. I don’t know who I have to bribe to catch a break, but I’m willing to pay the big bucks. Apparently, no one got the memo. Midlife is one messy ride. Fine. I’m off to Lexington, Kentucky to find a self-proclaimed dragon who sports a mullet, beer belly and delusions of Immortal grandeur. This time he’s gone too far. He’s messed with me and mine for the last time. The way to end a dragon is to remove his tail. We thought we had. A tail is in the back. Right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

If you drive past the lights of downtown Roswell, north on Route 285 into the darkness of the New Mexico desert, you'll run across a little radio station with a single tower. This is the home of WKLEN talk-radio, broadcast through Tower #57. Fresh out of the local community college and eager to start his career in radio production, Luther Stenson arrives for his first shift as an intern on Evening Sands, a late-night radio show focused on the unexplainable and broadcast throughout the lower forty-eight. Luther’s first night in radio quickly becomes one he’ll never forget.

In her fourth adventure, Clementine is excited—she’s been picked to be Friend of the Week, a title that brings many new responsibilities. On the advice of her best friend Margaret, Clementine sets out to make sure her classmates know exactly why she’s such a great friend. But this strategy could prove disastrous.

Third-grader Clementine constantly has brilliant ideas popping into her brain, but sometimes they get her into trouble. Only a few people really understand her - her parents, of course, and her favorite teacher, Mr. D'Matz. When he receives an opportunity to do research in Egypt, Clementine hatches a plan to keep him at her school - but as usual, it doesn't quite work out the way she wants.

In this final book, Clementine is having a feud with her father - she's so mad she can't even speak to him. Besides that, she has to deal with the end of the school year and all the good-byes she must say - Clementine does N-O-T, not like saying good-bye. (Neither do I! I had a lump in my throat all the time I was writing the book - I am going to miss this girl and her family so much!)

I thought being a Demon sucked, but being a Demon Goddess is a whole ’nother level. Life had been so much easier when I was just a forty-year-old has-been actress trying to make a comeback in the land of Botox and BS. For the love of everything absurd, I was just getting used to being a Demon … and BAM … all of a sudden I’m supposed to be one of the two gals in charge? I mean, being the co-star of the show is great until it involves ruling the Darkness with the evil whack job who destroyed my mother.

Max didn't expect knight school to be so tough. Luckily, she has her best friends--the Midknights--at her side. But when Byjovia is under attack, the Midknights will have to face beastly creatures, powerful spells, and their greatest foe yet--themselves?

For 12-year-old Emily, the best thing about moving to San Francisco is that it's the home city of her literary idol: Garrison Griswold, book publisher and creator of the online sensation Book Scavenger (a game where books are hidden in cities all over the country and clues to find them are revealed through puzzles). Upon her arrival, however, Emily learns that Griswold has been attacked and is now in a coma, and no one knows anything about the epic new game he had been poised to launch.