✿Summary

S1 E5: Smashing the Patriarchy (with Music & Wisdom!)

Zoe and the incredible Vidya Rao dive into voice, self-expression, and how to overcome the weight of societal expectations on women. Vidya, Thumri singer, feminist researcher and wise crone, opens up about high-functioning depression, resilience, and the healing power of music. They explore aging with grace, embracing contradictions, and the deep need for community. Get ready for an inspiring, thought-provoking ride—because smashing the patriarchy (since the 70s) sounds even better with a soundtrack! 🎶💥

✿Keywords

Vidya Rao, Thumri, feminism, voice, self-expression, aging, community, mental health, music, empowerment

✿Guest: Vidya Rao

✿Takeaways

-Vidya Rao emphasizes the importance of voice in self-expression and healing.

-Aging is a beautiful process that brings wisdom and new opportunities.

-Community and connection are vital for emotional well-being.

-High-functioning depression can be challenging, but it is manageable with self-care.

-Music serves as a powerful tool for healing and connection.

-Navigating societal expectations requires courage and authenticity.

-Embracing one's identity is essential for personal growth.

-Vulnerability can lead to deeper connections with others.

-Life is uncertain, and acceptance of this uncertainty is crucial.

-The journey of self-discovery is ongoing and ever-evolving.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Vidya Rao: A Musical Journey

05:45 The Importance of Voice: Physical and Metaphorical

06:25 Becoming a Respected Artist: Vidya's Path

08:00 The Connection Between Body and Voice in Music

09:11 Vulnerability in Sharing Art: Overcoming Fear

11:26 The Healing Power of Music and Writing

12:30 Allowing imperfection and the gift of 'becoming'

13:09 The Role of Deadlines in Creativity

14:21 Tonglen Meditation

14:47 Overcoming Fear and Ignoring "Haters" with LOVE

16:25 Going against tradition

20:27 Exploring Feminism Through Music

22:44 Respectability, Self-expression and Feminism

24:14 Reclaiming one's totality and the erotic

25:11 Understanding the Form: Thumri and Its Meanings

26:05 Finding through Thumri: the earthly is spiritual

27:18 The Interconnection of Spirituality and Earthliness

28:12 The Wisdom of Kabir: The Earthen Pot

29:48 Kabir's Poem on 'The little Pot': The silence before anything

31:10 Embracing Imperfection and Human Experience

33:08 Navigating Emotions: The Dance of Life

39:15 Personal Struggles: Depression and Resilience

43:19 Lessons from the Pandemic: Uncertainty and Community

44:06 The Importance of Community

44:42 Self-Acceptance in Difficult Times

44:52 Navigating High Functioning Depression

45:23 The Gifts of Aging

46:00 Embracing Aging

47:57 The Wisdom of Experience

51:32 Lessons from Life's Journey

53:42 The Age of Understanding and Community

✿Connect with Zoe: www.avalotherapy.comhello@avalotherapy.comIG: @avalotherapy ✿Book a session with Zoe:⁠https://avalotherapy.janeapp.com/⁠

✿Vidya Rao on Spotify/YouTube:

https://tinyurl.com/y7244rhw

https://tinyurl.com/3sutd6ta

In this episode, Zoe and her comedian/ BIPOC advocate friends – Aliocha (educator), Arya (musician) and Katrina (artist and community organizer) – take you on a hilarious and thought-provoking journey where comedy, identity, and the immigrant experience collide. From using humour as a survival tool to cracking open hard truths, they dive deep into navigating cultural expectations, battling generational trauma, and facing that nagging imposter syndrome—especially in BIPOC communities. The group redefines success beyond the typical capitalist grind, celebrating the power of community and "lowercase love" instead of the usual metrics. Packed with laughs, raw insights, and moments of self-reflection, this episode is all about finding belonging, fulfillment, and the real meaning of success.

Guests: Aliocha Perriard Abdoh, Arya Afshar, and Katrina Esguerra!

✿Keywords

comedy, identity, immigrant experience, generational trauma, imposter syndrome, success, community, love, BIPOC, cultural expectations

✿Connect with Zoe:

www.avalotherapy.com

hello@avalotherapy.com

IG: @avalotherapy

✿Book a session with Zoe:

⁠https://avalotherapy.janeapp.com/⁠

✿Connect with our Guests (IG):

• Arya Afshar @aryaafsharm

• Katrina Esguerra @katrina_yvr

• Aliocha Perriard Abdoh @liochaabdoh
  

• ✿Takeaways

• Comedy serves as a tool for truth-telling and coping.

• Navigating identity involves balancing cultural expectations and personal truth.

• The immigrant experience is often marked by generational trauma.

• Imposter syndrome is influenced by external societal pressures.

• Success should be redefined beyond capitalist metrics.

• Community plays a crucial role in fostering love and connection.

• Lowercase love is often undervalued but essential for well-being.

• Self-reflection is necessary for understanding personal values.

• Cultural narratives shape our understanding of success and happiness.

• Finding belonging requires vulnerability and authenticity.
  

• ✿Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Background

• 02:46 The Power of Comedy

• 04:51 Navigating Dual Identities

• 07:49 Comedy as a Form of Expression

• 13:58 Challenges of Being BIPOC

• 20:12 The Role of Therapy

• 23:12 Navigating Family Dynamics

• 28:17 Navigating the Pressure to Fit In

• 29:53 Rest is Resistance

• 31:14 Redefining Success Based on Personal Values

• 36:40 The Power of Community and Lowercase Love

• 41:28 De-centering the Idea of a Perfect Partner

• 49:16 Listening to Your Body

• 50:30 The Balance Between Individualism and Community

• 52:16 Finding Joy and Peace in Authentic Relationships

• 53:06 The Challenges and Freedom of Immigrant Parents

• 54:03 Living for Oneself: Letting Go of Societal Expectations

• 54:33 Conclusion and Future Episodes

✿✿✿summary In this cosy conversation, therapists Zoe Ho and Jane Ngo explore the complexities of parental relationships, especially from BIPOC lived experiences, the emotional impact of childhood experiences, and the journey towards healing and self-acceptance. They discuss the importance of acknowledging feelings towards parents, the influence of cultural expectations, and the significance of reparenting oneself. They emphasize the need for embodiment, self-compassion, understanding, and community support in the healing process, while also addressing the challenges of letting go of blame and embracing personal growth. Special appearance by Ms. Coco, who is pawsome.

✿✿Connect with Zoe:

www.avalotherapy.com

hello@avalotherapy.com

IG: @avalotherapy

✿✿Book a session: https://avalotherapy.janeapp.com/

✿✿Connect with Jane:

IG: @maicounsellor_

✿✿✿keywords parenting, emotional healing, inner child, therapy, relationships, self-love, cultural influences, compassion, blame, personal growth, BIPOC ✿✿✿takeaways ✿Acknowledging feelings towards parents is crucial for healing. ✿Childhood experiences shape adult relationships significantly. ✿Cultural expectations can complicate parental relationships. ✿Healing requires compassion for oneself and one's parents. ✿Reparenting involves nurturing the inner child. ✿Letting go of blame is essential for personal freedom. ✿Community support plays a vital role in healing. ✿Understanding that parents are human and imperfect is important. ✿Grief is a natural response to unmet parental needs. ✿Finding one's own path to healing is a personal journey. titles ✿Navigating Parental Relationships: A Journey to Healing ✿Understanding the Impact of Childhood on Adult Life ✿✿✿Connect with Zoe: Book: www.avalotherapy.janeapp.com/ www.avalotherapy.com IG: @avalotherapy with Jane: IG: @maicounsellor_ Book: www.maicounselling.janeapp.com/ ✿✿✿Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Setting 06:59 The Intergenerational Gap and Changing World 08:55 The Importance of Education and Resources for Parents 15:36 Healing and Reparenting Through Therapy 23:53 Stuck in Blame 25:48 Embracing All Colors of Emotion 27:52 Witnessing and Validating Feelings 29:31 The Power of Emotions 32:12 No Bad Parts 34:46 Creating Space for Healing 36:54 Recognizing Parents' Limitations 39:32 Reframing Perspectives on Parents 41:16 Validation and Perspective 44:02 Navigating Family Dynamics and Personal Growth 44:54 The Impact of Family of Origin on Life Choices 45:36 Outro