The Session / Love Month / Feb. 13 Release

Expectations and The Communication Highway

The communication highway primarily consists of the speaker and listener roles. Before the speaker makes an “I” statement. He or she can go before the Lord and ask Him for wisdom to make an “I” that is said lovingly and in a caring way. An “I” statement consists of a feeling followed by when it happens. An example would be, “I feel hurt when you make fun of my cooking.”

SCOTTS FIRST THOUGHT “….IF YOU STOPPED BURNING EVERYTHING, I WOULDN’T FEEL HURT BY EATING IT….AND I WOULD STOP MAKING FUN OF IT….” NOT QUITE WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, TOM? (Disclaimer time...Shari is a WONDERFUL cook, and the only time she burned anything other than microwave popcorn was when I was 3 hours late coming home and didn't call her.)

Vertical expectations help the listener role as well. Rather than react to the speaker in a potential defensive way the listener can Go before the Lord and ask for help make the communication highway safe. The listener role is primarily based on James 1:19 “We are to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. On the communication highway the listener listens to be able to reflect what they heard. Not a commentary or editorial on what they heard but almost word for word what they heard. They next validate for the speaker what they said. That letting them know that what they said was their feelings. The listener then empathizes with the speaker. This is trying to connect with the speakers feelings and try to communicate what that must be like.

Important Fundamentals From Love and Respect (From Dr. Emerson Eggeriche)

• A message to husbands, our wives are complex. 😀 On their planet, they are made differently. They have 4 primary needs:
• They want to feel important to us. When we make important what they think is important, they feel important to us. EXAMPLE It is important to keep the car in economy mode. When I do, she feels important
• When we value what they value, they feel valued by us. EXAMPLE: Kathy values a made bed before we get in it. She feels valued when I “attempt” to make it😄
• Our wives want to be cherished. Cherish is a feeling of awe. It is a feeling of, to be held dear.
• Loved The Greek meaning for loved here is agape, which is a selfless, unconditional love that facilitates unconditional love and sacrifice that is similar to what Jesus gave the church.

It was Jesus who took on the lawmakers/ pharmacies to protect the woman caught in adultery.

An important Application in marriage is when husbands choose to love their spouse when they are not perfect prioritizing their well-being and showing their commitment through actions.

Love and Respect and the Communication Highway

Love and respect can be a major help on the communication highway. For men, their management of the highway can be facilitated by managing based on their wive’s top 4 needs. As an example of listening to their wive’s on the highway, husbands can focus on the significance of hearing the importance of what their wives are saying. They can also help their wives feel valued by the way they respond to what is said.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.