The 3 relationship scripts that make affairs likely—and how to shift them

Most people don’t get married expecting to have an affair. And yet, affairs happen all the time, even in marriages that seem stable. The truth is, most people who cheat aren’t looking for a new relationship—they’re searching for something they’ve lost in their marriage.

In this episode of Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack, we explore how subconscious relationship scripts shape a marriage—and how three specific scripts make affairs more likely. If you’ve ever felt like your marriage has lost its spark, understanding these patterns can help you take back control and rebuild a deeper connection.

What You’ll Learn:

• The wife-as-caretaker script – Why treating your husband like a dependent, rather than a partner, weakens attraction.
• The wife-as-roommate script – How extreme independence leads to emotional disconnection and infidelity.
• The wife-as-business-partner script – Why running a household like a company often drains romance from the marriage.
• How to shift to the boyfriend-girlfriend script – The key to keeping passion, connection, and commitment alive long-term.

Ready to reshape your marriage dynamics and restore attraction? Tune in, subscribe, and check the show notes for extra resources to help you make these changes step by step.

Some key takeaways from today’s podcast:

• Your husband’s perception of you is shaped by how you behave with him.
• Attraction fades when a marriage becomes too practical—romance requires intentional effort.
• Small, gradual changes can shift your role in his life and reignite his interest in you.
• The boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic keeps passion alive in long-term relationships.

More relationship help for you:

• Get Coach Jack's book: A Christian Guide to Preventing and Ending Men's Affairs
• Questions and answers about sexual and emotional affairs
• Is your neediness driving your husband to an affair?
• Work with Coach Jack to end your husband's affair.

Break through resistance and rebuild your connection

In this must-listen episode of Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach Dr. Jack Ito delivers straightforward, no-nonsense strategies for overcoming resistance and rebuilding a genuine connection with your spouse. If you're ready to break through the barriers that keep your marriage stuck, you’re in the right place.

What You'll Learn:

• Overcoming resistance: Discover practical techniques for handling your wife’s reluctance to reconcile without creating more conflict.
• Building a positive connection: Learn how to create a relaxed atmosphere and align your agendas so your wife feels safe and open to reconnecting.

Ready to transform your relationship with practical, real-world steps? Tune in, subscribe, and dive into the show notes for extra resources that will accelerate your journey to a more loving, connected marriage.

Some key takeaways from today's podcast:

• Address resistance by avoiding overwhelming gestures.
• Focus on creating a relaxed, positive environment for your wife.
• Take small, manageable steps to gradually rebuild your connection.
• Learn strategies that work in the real world—no sugar-coating, just results.

More relationship help for you:

• How to make your wife sexually attracted to you again.
• How to get your wife to love you again.
• How to figure out if your wife really isn't in love with you anymore.
• How to respond when your wife says she just wants to be friends.
• Work with Coach Jack to rebuild your relationship when you have a rejecting spouse.

Small Steps, Big Impact—Transform Your Marriage Now

In this must-listen episode, How to Rebuild a Relationship with Your Wife: Small Steps, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach Dr. Jack Ito delivers straightforward strategies so you can take action steps. If you’re serious about restoring trust and deepening the connection with your spouse, you’re in the right place.

What You'll Learn:

• Incremental Wins: Discover actionable, small-step strategies that make a big difference without overwhelming your wife.
• Avoiding Resistance: Learn why big gestures can sometimes backfire and how subtle, steady moves pave the way for deeper trust.
• Real-World Tactics: Get straightforward advice designed for men who are serious about turning their marriages around—no fluff, just results.

Ready to start transforming your relationship one step at a time? Tune in, subscribe, and dive into the show notes for extra resources that will accelerate your journey to a more loving, connected marriage.

Some key takeaways from today's podcast:

• Relationships are built faster with small steps than big ones
• Start with minor adjustments to daily habits.
• Identify what triggers resistance and avoid overwhelming gestures.
• Move forward with the smallest steps possible to have smoother, faster progress.

More relationship help for you:

• How to make your wife sexually attracted to you again.
• How to get your wife to love you again.
• How to figure out if your wife really isn't in love with you anymore.
• How to respond when your wife says she just wants to be friends.
• Work with Coach Jack to rebuild your relationship when you have a rejecting spouse.

On the Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack podcast, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach, Dr. Jack Ito, will help you to build and restore your marriage. By learning just a few relationship skills, you can help your spouse enjoy your relationship more, while getting more love and affection from your spouse. Listen to Coach Jack as he helps you with one more step toward a marriage both you and your spouse will love.

On today's episode, Coach Jack teaches women how to go from hating their husbands to having a good marriage again.

After listening to today's episode, you may want to:

• How to choose between marriage counseling and marriage coaching.
• How to convince your husband to go to marriage counseling
• How to deal with deal breaker differences in your marriage.
• How to end a pattern of angry conflict in your marriage.
• Work with Coach Jack to restore a loving relationship with a difficult partner.

On the Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack podcast, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach, Dr. Jack Ito, will help you to build and restore your marriage. By learning just a few relationship skills, you can help your spouse enjoy your relationship more, while getting more love and affection from your spouse. Listen to Coach Jack as he helps you with one more step toward a marriage both you and your spouse will love.

On today's episode, Coach Jack teaches men how to choose between marriage counseling and marriage coaching.

After listening to today's episode, you may want to:

• How to improve your marriage, even if your spouse won't go to marriage counseling.
• How to end your spouse's affair without marriage counseling.
• How to use boundaries for more respect and a better marriage.
• Take a quiz to find out what coaching best fits your situation.
• Work with Coach Jack on skills that can save your marriage.

On the Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack podcast, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach, Dr. Jack Ito, will help you to build and restore your marriage. By learning just a few relationship skills, you can help your spouse enjoy your relationship more, while getting more love and affection from your spouse. Listen to Coach Jack as he helps you with one more step toward a marriage both you and your spouse will love.

On today's episode, Coach Jack teaches men how to get their wives to sexually desire them again.

After listening to today's episode, you may want to:

• How to fix a sexless marriage.
• How to talk about sex for a more satisfying marriage
• How to help her enjoy your dates more.
• Take a quiz to find out what coaching best fits your situation.
• Work with Coach Jack to become the kind of man she can't wait to be with.

On the Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack podcast, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach, Dr. Jack Ito, will help you to build and restore your marriage. By learning just a few relationship skills, you can help your spouse enjoy your relationship more, while getting more love and affection from your spouse. Listen to Coach Jack as he helps you with one more step toward a marriage both you and your spouse will love.

On today's episode, Coach Jack teaches why men's behavior can become mean and how to get your husband to be nice once again.

After listening to today's episode, you may want to:

• How to get your spouse to love and desire you more.
• How to get more love and respect from your spouse.
• Twelve ways to revive your love for your spouse.
• Take a quiz to find out what coaching best fits your situation.
• Work with Coach Jack to get help dealing with your difficult spouse.

On the Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack podcast, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach, Dr. Jack Ito, will help you to build and restore your marriage. By learning just a few relationship skills, you can help your spouse enjoy your relationship more, while getting more love and affection from your spouse. Listen to Coach Jack as he helps you with one more step toward a marriage both you and your spouse will love.

On today's episode, Coach Jack teaches how to restart your feelings of love for your spouse and how to revive your spouse's loving feelings at the same time.

After listening to today's episode, you may want to:

• How to get your spouse to love and desire you more.
• How to get more love and respect from your spouse.
• Twelve ways to revive your love for your spouse.
• Take a quiz to find out what coaching best fits your situation.
• Work with Coach Jack to learn how to restart your marriage in the right direction.