The 3 relationship scripts that make affairs likely—and how to shift them

Most people don’t get married expecting to have an affair. And yet, affairs happen all the time, even in marriages that seem stable. The truth is, most people who cheat aren’t looking for a new relationship—they’re searching for something they’ve lost in their marriage.

In this episode of Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack, we explore how subconscious relationship scripts shape a marriage—and how three specific scripts make affairs more likely. If you’ve ever felt like your marriage has lost its spark, understanding these patterns can help you take back control and rebuild a deeper connection.

What You’ll Learn:

• The wife-as-caretaker script – Why treating your husband like a dependent, rather than a partner, weakens attraction.
• The wife-as-roommate script – How extreme independence leads to emotional disconnection and infidelity.
• The wife-as-business-partner script – Why running a household like a company often drains romance from the marriage.
• How to shift to the boyfriend-girlfriend script – The key to keeping passion, connection, and commitment alive long-term.

Ready to reshape your marriage dynamics and restore attraction? Tune in, subscribe, and check the show notes for extra resources to help you make these changes step by step.

Some key takeaways from today’s podcast:

• Your husband’s perception of you is shaped by how you behave with him.
• Attraction fades when a marriage becomes too practical—romance requires intentional effort.
• Small, gradual changes can shift your role in his life and reignite his interest in you.
• The boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic keeps passion alive in long-term relationships.

More relationship help for you:

• Get Coach Jack's book: A Christian Guide to Preventing and Ending Men's Affairs
• Questions and answers about sexual and emotional affairs
• Is your neediness driving your husband to an affair?
• Work with Coach Jack to end your husband's affair.