When Parents Hurt
Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
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Narrated by:
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Paul Boehmer
About this listen
This unique book supports parents who are struggling with the heartache of having a teenager or an adult child who is troubled, angry, or distant. Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, PhD, offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parents they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child.
Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents:
- Reduce anger, guilt, and shame
- Learn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner's mistakes, and divorce can strain the parent-child bond
- Come to terms with their own and their child's imperfections
- Understand how society's high expectations of parents contribute to the risk of parental wounds
By helping parents recognize what they can do and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of healing themselves and relating to each other.
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My second purchase! Well done!
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Half of all marriages end. Unfortunately, about 20% of divorces are high-conflict, involving frequent visits to court, allegations of abuse, and chronic disagreements regarding parenting schedules. In response to this conflict, some children become aligned with one parent against the other - even a parent who has done nothing to warrant the hostile rejection of their formerly loving children. These parents are on a painful journey with an uncertain outcome. Surviving Parental Alienation fills the tremendous need for concrete help for these parents.
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Accurate, Authentic: what PA looks like & how it feels to Kids and Targets.
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Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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Boundaries with Kids
- How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
- By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
- By Amanda on 02-12-21
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Take your life back and let healing begin
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Beyond Done with the Crying
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Insightful
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Banished
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Instead of Hope it’s a Heavy Heart
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Will save you from major mistakes
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Walking on Eggshells
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Disappointed
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Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
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Estrangement can be avoided and healed. There’s hope.
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Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children
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A tough-love guide to coping with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y. - a six-step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.
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Way too Religious, thinking about returning it.
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When Your Child Divorces You.....Estrangement
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A 43 page book written to encourage the estranged parent. The Bible speaks at length of two kinds of estrangement. Two different paths that got there, and two different paths to get out. Both David and the Prodigal Father faced estrangement from their adult child. Support, advice, and encouragement "in the waiting". Written by an estranged mother.
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Compassion, understanding, non judge mental, heart felt
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The Dos & Don'ts of Parenting Adult Kids
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No matter how old your child is, you’ll always be their parent. Discover how you can sustain your relationship even when you’re no longer under the same roof.
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Great author and Great Book
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How to Really Love Your Adult Child
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Helped to bring clarity and direction
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Shadow Daughter
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Performance
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Shadow Daughter tackles a subject we rarely discuss as a culture: Family estrangements, especially those between parents and adult children. Estrangements - between parents and children, siblings, multiple generations - are surprisingly common, and even families that aren't officially estranged often have some experience of deep conflicts. Estrangement is an issue that touches most people, one way or another, one that's still shrouded in secrecy, stigma, and shame.
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Very dangerous & harmful for society as a whole
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Healing From Family Rifts
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A family rift is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can face. It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. Healing From Family Rifts offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome.
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Excellent in every way
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Doing Life with Your Adult Children
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If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years.
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Some good points but...
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Surviving Parental Alienation
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Half of all marriages end. Unfortunately, about 20% of divorces are high-conflict, involving frequent visits to court, allegations of abuse, and chronic disagreements regarding parenting schedules. In response to this conflict, some children become aligned with one parent against the other - even a parent who has done nothing to warrant the hostile rejection of their formerly loving children. These parents are on a painful journey with an uncertain outcome. Surviving Parental Alienation fills the tremendous need for concrete help for these parents.
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Accurate, Authentic: what PA looks like & how it feels to Kids and Targets.
- By Sia on 01-25-20
By: Amy J.L. Baker PhD, and others
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Losing Her, Finding Me
- A Mother's Story of Estrangement and Self-Discovery
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- Unabridged
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Michelle Rohlf's unwanted estrangement from her daughter Naomi strips her of everything: her grandchildren, her peace of mind, and most of all, herself. In spite of her broken heart and broken spirit, she embarks on a three-year journey of healing and forgiveness, discovering the impact her own upbringing had on her attachment to her daughter. Just as Michelle learns that her life isn't over because her daughter walked away, Naomi shows up, without apology or explanation. This is the story of a woman who had to lose her daughter in order to find the identity she'd never really had.
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This resonates so much with my own situation 🙏
- By Anonymous User on 08-24-24
By: Michelle Rohlf
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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us
- Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
- By: Jane Adams
- Narrated by: Jane Adams
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our 20- and even 30-somethings who can't seem to grow up? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns when our grown kids have failed to thrive.
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3 hours in. 3 hours of other people's problems.
- By Silicon Valley Software Veteran on 02-03-21
By: Jane Adams
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Estranged
- Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart
- By: Julie Plagens
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In Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart, Julie Plagens shares about her life as a child of well-known restauranteur parents who also owned the first nightclub in Texas. After ten years in the entertainment business, her parents made a public conversion to Christianity and went into full-time ministry. Unfortunately, the hardships of maintaining a perfect image as a Christian family became too heavy of a burden due to anger and unforgiveness. After a life-altering health diagnosis (Crohn's disease), Julie, her husband, and their two children walked away from the family to ...
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What listeners say about When Parents Hurt
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Paul Luedtke
- 12-08-18
Excellent book for hurting parents
Tragic heartbreaking stories experienced by parents can be made easier because of this book. This book is a bit like cleaning out an infected wound but the immediate pain of facing reality is countered quickly with a soothing balm that makes the pain much more manageable and even at times makes one able to set it aside for a time. It also provides for the healing of that wound that may not have been possible without the honesty of this book. While this is not a quick fix book - nor does it provide any guarantees - it provides for the possibility of hope in what may be the most painful occurrance in human life. Thanks to the author for writing this.
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- Pennies in the fountain
- 08-08-19
Very supportive for estranged parents and kids
This was a recommended read because of the anguish experienced when family members experience estrangement. It helped me tremendously. Listening to others' experiences made me feel less alone in coping with this painful part of life's journey. Most of all, the book helps to get the reader to the point of acceptance and hope without as much of the grief, confusion and guilt. Narration pleasant and easy to listen to.
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- Khat G
- 12-12-20
It’s hard to get past the robotic speaking
I really want to ”read” this book but it’s difficult to listen to. It doesn't sound like a person reading it. It sounds like a computer robot voice. Extremely disappointing
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- Carol Nain
- 09-27-22
worth a Listen
I appreciated the efforts the author made to understand. I would have liked a special mention of what to do when your adult daughter gushes love onto your spouse but blames you and cuts only you out of their lives.
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- B. Serrano
- 10-16-23
Great parenting book
Excellent book both to read as an adult child, and as a parent. It helps to understand parents, and why they did what they did, and how we may have been brought up and how that upbringing reflects in how we parent, which in turn reflects on our kids behavior.
Tools are given to navigate many possible scenarios.
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- David P. Wingert
- 02-06-24
A wonderful resource for parents and clinicians!
This book is a wonderful resource for parents and clinicians (maybe even attorneys to recommend to their clients).
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- Patti B.
- 11-05-23
A lifesaver
I will listen to this book multiple times. The questions raised really do make you think of your own actions and how they contributed to the place you find yourself in with your grown children. I am grateful for the suggestions here that allow me to hold on to hope and get through some of the most difficult moments.
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- David Fox
- 03-17-21
Very good
The voice of the narrator is fine. Ignore those who are criticizing it. The questions are fine as well.
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- Susants
- 10-26-16
Required reading for parents of kids 7 and up to prepare for the next 15+ years!
Comprehensive "Preventative medicine" for proactive parents to be well prepared for the next 15+ years.
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- Anne
- 12-05-20
Eye Opening and Real
My life is changed in the most positive way from this book. Truly and eye opening experience and I am so glad I've stumbled upon this excellent book. The narration felt robotic and almost like it was read by automation which I found distracting. that said, the information has indeed changed my life for the better.
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