
Rules of Estrangement
Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict
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Narrado por:
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Fred Sanders
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De:
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Joshua Coleman
Acerca de esta escucha
A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children.
“Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.” (Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren.
As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his 40 years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible.
While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.
©2020 Joshua Coleman (P)2020 Random House AudioLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Reseñas de la Crítica
“Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike. Rules of Estrangement candidly addresses parental estrangement from every conceivable angle, steering readers away from shame and blame to a place of newfound understanding and empowerment. I’ve seen many parents and adult children grappling with these issues, and this is exactly the book they have all been waiting for. I will be recommending it widely.” (Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
“A very thoughtful book filled with great wisdom and care. Over Dr. Coleman’s years of practice, as well as his own personal journey, he has developed a deep appreciation for how to help parents see their relationship with their children through the child’s eyes. It is through that process of compassionate perspective taking [WJ1] that a healing conversation can begin.” (Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome)
“Coleman addresses what historians see as a strange paradox: Even as more adult children view their parents as friends rather than mere obligations, psychologists report seeing a wave of parents who have been rejected by their adult children. Coleman explores the socioeconomic and cultural changes that inflate both our expectations and our disappointments in family life, offering calming advice on ways that estranged families can recover or move on.” (Stephanie Coontz, author of The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap)
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Take your life back and let healing begin
- De Jennifer Gill en 05-26-18
De: Sheri McGregor
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Fault Lines
- Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
- De: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrado por: Sean Pratt
- Duración: 9 h y 7 m
- Versión completa
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Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
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Fault Lines is a great book.
- De Paula F. Braun en 06-09-21
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Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
- Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship
- De: Tina Gilbertson
- Narrado por: Coleen Marlo
- Duración: 7 h y 47 m
- Versión completa
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Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.
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Will save you from major mistakes
- De Bohdan Hodiak en 09-23-20
De: Tina Gilbertson
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- De: Jane Isay
- Narrado por: Ann Marie Lee
- Duración: 7 h y 31 m
- Versión completa
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- De tammy alvarez en 01-13-19
De: Jane Isay
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Banished
- A Grandmother Alone: Surviving Alienation and Estrangement
- De: Nancy Lee Klune
- Narrado por: Nancy Lee Klune
- Duración: 5 h y 25 m
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Instead of Hope it’s a Heavy Heart
- De Britt en 10-13-22
De: Nancy Lee Klune
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Beyond Done with the Crying
- More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
- De: Sheri McGregor MA
- Narrado por: Ann Marie Lee
- Duración: 13 h y 59 m
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For any parent of estranged adult children, reconciling may be a solo sport. Even when reconciliations do occur, their success requires wisdom and strength. That's why it's so important to empower yourself, make positive changes, and reclaim your life, even while waiting and continuing to reach out (if you choose to). Beyond Done with the Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children is filled with information and solutions to the complex, real-life problems that plague parents of estranged adult children and their families.
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The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
- De Anonymous User en 01-16-25
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Shadow Daughter
- A Memoir of Estrangement
- De: Harriet Brown
- Narrado por: Harriet Brown
- Duración: 8 h y 7 m
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Shadow Daughter tackles a subject we rarely discuss as a culture: Family estrangements, especially those between parents and adult children. Estrangements - between parents and children, siblings, multiple generations - are surprisingly common, and even families that aren't officially estranged often have some experience of deep conflicts. Estrangement is an issue that touches most people, one way or another, one that's still shrouded in secrecy, stigma, and shame.
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Very dangerous & harmful for society as a whole
- De Suz C. en 01-04-22
De: Harriet Brown
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The Dos & Don'ts of Parenting Adult Kids
- Practical Ways to Keep Your Relationship Healthy and Long Lasting, Even When Challenges Arise
- De: Ann Marie Sorenson
- Narrado por: Nancy Higgins
- Duración: 3 h y 21 m
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No matter how old your child is, you’ll always be their parent. Discover how you can sustain your relationship even when you’re no longer under the same roof.
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Wow
- De Nir en 04-02-23
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Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
- Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation
- De: Fern Schumer Chapman
- Narrado por: Gabra Zackman, Fred Sanders
- Duración: 8 h y 26 m
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Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of 40 years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research....
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A helpful guide to understand unhealthy family dynamics
- De AGM Design en 11-29-22
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When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart
- Coping with Mental Illness, Substance Abuse, and the Problems that Tear Families Apart
- De: Joel Young MD, Christine Adamec
- Narrado por: Rich Miller
- Duración: 8 h y 12 m
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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong - was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?"
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Comforting
- De Mrs. Wright en 05-17-25
De: Joel Young MD, y otros
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How to Really Love Your Adult Child
- Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World
- De: Ross Campbell, Gary Chapman
- Narrado por: Dan Robertson
- Duración: 5 h y 48 m
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More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed—including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting"—all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards.
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Helped to bring clarity and direction
- De J.T. en 01-03-24
De: Ross Campbell, y otros
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Estranged Parents Guide to Resilience
- Achieving a Brighter Future
- De: Joanne Harvey MSW
- Narrado por: Heather Dzielinski
- Duración: 4 h y 45 m
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Joanne Harvey MSW, a seasoned professional in social work and personal development, draws upon her extensive background to offer profound insights in "Estranged Parents Guide to Resilience." Having worked with hundreds of clients suffering from estrangement, Joanne deeply understands the profound, heartbreaking pain estranged parents endure. As a Pro EFT Master and Certified Havening Practitioner, her gentle guidance and empathetic understanding illuminate a path for readers navigating these difficult times.
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A Hopeful Resource for Healing
- De SCOTT D SCHEPPMANN en 11-25-24
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You and Your Adult Child
- How to Grow Together in Challenging Times
- De: Laurence Steinberg
- Narrado por: Laurence Steinberg
- Duración: 7 h y 53 m
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Your child is now an adult, but your job as a parent is far from over. Instead, your role must evolve to meet their ongoing, changing needs. But what exactly are these new needs? And why are they so different now than they were when you were a young adult? This is the first comprehensive guide written for parents whose children are in two of the most crucial decades of life.
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A must-read book
- De Anonymous User en 04-23-23
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Estrangement of Parents by Their Adult Children
- Expanded Third Edition
- De: Sharon Waters
- Narrado por: Virtual Voice
- Duración: 1 h y 58 m
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This is the third edition of Ms. Waters’ popular book on the estrangement of parents by their adult children. This edition has been extensively rewritten and contains new chapters exploring cults, social media’s role, and coping with this tragic family rift. When adult children estrange one or both parents, the shocked parents desperately seek answers. They search for flaws in themselves and their parenting. Hurting and embarrassed, they retreat into their darkest emotional corners while being condemned as a parental failure. Estrangement is often treated as a family squabble that no ...
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Excellent
- De KellyCoburn en 06-08-25
De: Sharon Waters
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Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children
- Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
- De: Allison Bottke
- Narrado por: Margaret Strom
- Duración: 7 h y 42 m
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A tough-love guide to coping with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y. - a six-step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.
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Way too Religious, thinking about returning it.
- De Mickerj en 10-20-16
De: Allison Bottke
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But It’s Your Family...
- Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath
- De: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
- Narrado por: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
- Duración: 8 h y 25 m
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But It’s Your Family is a remarkable account of what it means to cut ties to toxic family abuse and thrive in the aftermath. Loving someone doesn’t always mean having a relationship with them, just like forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Reconciling, in many cases, only sets people up for more abuse. A significant part of healing comes with accepting that this is a part of life; there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and function best.
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My second purchase! Well done!
- De Attorney Shenandoah Titus - Author of THE WHISTLEBLOWER: Defeating Bullies, Harassers & Management Gang Retaliation (Amazon) en 08-27-20
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Estranged
- Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart
- De: Julie Plagens
- Narrado por: Virtual Voice
- Duración: 2 h y 46 m
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In Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart, Julie Plagens shares about her life as a child of well-known restauranteur parents who also owned the first nightclub in Texas. After ten years in the entertainment business, her parents made a public conversion to Christianity and went into full-time ministry. Unfortunately, the hardships of maintaining a perfect image as a Christian family became too heavy of a burden due to anger and unforgiveness. After a life-altering health diagnosis (Crohn's disease), Julie, her husband, and their two children walked away from the family to ...
De: Julie Plagens
That being said, the book misses out on showing the adult child's perspective and how parental choices or other incidents can affect them far into adulthood. The book could also have used a chapter on things you can do while your kids are still young to have a better relationship with them in adulthood.
Excellent book for the parent's perspective
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Best book on this topic
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Perspective of both sides
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The Depth of every word on both sides.
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Knowledge author and therapist!
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Helpful, informed, compassionate
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This book was easy to listen to. It remained interesting with good story lines to tie into the actions or suggestions we could try. If you think the title of the chapter doesn’t match where you’re at, listen to it anyway, you never know what you will learn.
Good Interpretations and Direction
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Culture Shift Impact
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Very quality content to understand empathic conversations with your adult children
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His explanations of why this phenomenon is growing were apt, if alarming.
If you or someone you know is experiencing estrangement, this book is a must-read primer on the entire subject, as seen from both points of view.
Dr. Coleman Gets It
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