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Too Tired to Fight
- 13 Essential Conflicts Parents Must Have to Keep Their Relationship Strong
- Narrated by: Erin Mitchell MACP, Stephen Mitchell PhD, Henriette Zoutomou, Jay Myers, Leiana Bertrand, James Fouhey
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
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Publisher's summary
How couples with kids can transform 13 common relationship fights into closer connection, from popular Instagram counselors Erin and Stephen Mitchell (@couples.counseling.for.parents).
Parenting changes a couple’s relationship in fundamental ways, but most parents are too exhausted from the demands of life, work, and engaging their kids to prioritize their relationship. This can lead to repeated conflict and an overwhelming sense of anxiety, anger, hurt, and loneliness…just when you need your partner’s support the most. The good news: conflict is actually a sign that you are trying to connect with your partner—you’re just stuck in an old pattern of communication.
In Too Tired to Fight, Erin and Stephen Mitchell use their 20-plus years of counseling experience to walk couples through the 13 conflicts that are not just normal but necessary to keep a partnership strong once kids enter the picture, including:
- The “Your Parenting Is Wrong” Conflict
- The “I’m More Tired Than You” Conflict
- The “Stop Choosing Your Family Over Ours” Conflict
- The “Sex Life? What Sex Life?” Conflict
In each scenario, they show how this conflict plays out—and offer scripts, questions for reflection, and their tried-and-true Conflict to Connection Equation that couples can use in the moment to communicate true repair and resolution. Their secret: by expressing your feelings and intentionally listening to your partner—not just venting or reacting to your stress-response system—you can work through the “pain points” of parenthood together and actually make your relationship happier and healthier as a result.
Critic reviews
"Too Tired to Fight provides practical guidance for couples to improve their communication skills. This book is an incredible toolkit that offers tangible examples to navigate tricky conversations and build stronger relationships. By following their strategies, couples can foster deeper understanding and resolve conflicts effectively.” —Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play
“This is first and foremost, not only a parenting book, but a relationship book so intelligent and on point that there are few readers who won't be able to identify with the subtle slights, control issues and genuine confusions over ‘what's fair’ that are present in virtually any relationship--only exacerbated when children enter the picture. Whether they are dealing with the wife convinced of her over-arching expertise or the husband unable to grasp the unspoken mental load of his partner, the Mitchells' genius is taking two people in gridlock with an ‘impossible’ partner....and turning them into empathic allies. When you are feeling overwhelmed and less than partnered by your co-parent, this book is the fast track to getting you back to operating as true friends on a shared mission.” —Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D, author of Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love
“Your fights will never be the same after reading this book. You will learn how to transform these inevitable moments of conflict into opportunities for better communication, intimacy, and connection. You will also get the tools, insights, and scripts you need to turn this novel approach to conflict into a lasting habit.” —Kaley Klemp and Nate Klemp PhD, authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship
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Remember Your Roots
- How to Awaken Your Ancestral Power and Live with Gratitude (A Book Inspired by Mayan Wisdom)
- By: Christine Olivia Hernandez
- Narrated by: Christine Olivia Hernandez
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Mayan Spiritual Guide Christine Olivia Hernandez draws upon her lineage’s wisdom and cosmovision. She bridges these ancient teachings to the modern day so you can connect to your roots and live with greater wholeness, regardless of your specific ancestry. However, there is a problem. Many people do not feel connected to their roots, but rather, a sense of loss, mistrust, and unsafety in the world. By speaking to the core issues we all face, Christine guides you through an intentional 13 chapter journey to help you access gratitude in every area of your life.
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A Deep Reflection of Gratitude and Belonging
- By Jennifer Layne Bhalla on 07-13-24
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How to Live When a Loved One Dies
- Healing Meditations for Grief and Loss
- By: Thich Nhat Hanh
- Narrated by: John Sackville
- Length: 2 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In the immediate aftermath of a loss, sometimes it is all we can do to keep breathing. With his signature clarity and compassion, Thich Nhat Hanh will guide you through the storm of emotions surrounding the death of a loved one. How to Live When a Loved One Dies offers powerful practices such as mindful breathing that will help you reconcile with death and loss, feel connected to your loved one long after they have gone, and transform your grief into healing and joy.
By: Thich Nhat Hanh
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The Stoicism Workbook
- How the Wisdom of Socrates Can Help You Build Resilience and Overcome Anything Life Throws at You
- By: Scott Waltman PsyD, R. Trent Codd III EDS, Kasey Pierce, and others
- Narrated by: Tim Fannon
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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What's the secret to lasting happiness? How do you gain the resilience needed to weather life's inevitable storms? For ancient philosophers like Socrates, Marcus Aurelius, Zeno, and Epictetus, these questions were more than mere musings—they were key elements of a school of thought called Stoicism. In The Stoicism Workbook, you'll learn how thinking like Socrates can help you identify what truly matters in your life, and build the resilience needed to go and get it!
By: Scott Waltman PsyD, and others
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How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse
- A Practical Guide to Dismantling Shame, Healing Trauma, and Thriving After Toxic Relationships
- By: Caroline Strawson
- Narrated by: Caroline Strawson
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Somatic trauma therapist and positive psychology coach Caroline Strawson wants to show you that your past is not your life sentence. No matter what’s happened in your life, you can find joy, light, and happiness again. Integrating her own lived experience of narcissistic abuse with trauma-informed practices and positive psychology interventions, this audiobook will help you heal and begin to feel like yourself again.
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Complete knowledge of narcissistic behavior.
- By Anonymous User on 07-25-24
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Smart, Not Loud
- How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons
- By: Jessica Chen
- Narrated by: Jessica Chen
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Building on the lessons she learned as an award-winning TV news journalist, Chen—who now speaks at Fortune 100 companies and whose LinkedIn Learning courses have been watched by over 2 million people—introduces a new way of getting noticed at work, without being loud, aggressive, or boastful. In Smart, Not Loud, Chen teaches listeners how they can look within, to the values they already hold, to more effectively show up.
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Lots of valuable lessons from Jessica that I can apply to workplace right away.
- By Anonymous User on 08-11-24
By: Jessica Chen
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How to Not Work Forever
- By: Natasha Etschmann, Ana Kresina
- Narrated by: Ana Kresina, Natasha Etschmann
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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If money wasn't an issue, how would your life be different? The truth is that relying solely on your day job won't guarantee a life free from financial stress. The average nine-to-five might pay your bills, but there's a gap you need to fill if you want to get to a financially free lifestyle you love. The key is to start investing: start small, and start now. The good news? It's not as hard as you think! With How to Not Work Forever, you'll discover how to make your money go further and grow faster — by investing in shares and ETFs.
By: Natasha Etschmann, and others
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Raising Intuitive Eaters
- By: Sarah Remmer, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Sarah Remmer
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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How can we combat the negative habits and feelings that surround our food choices? And how can we give our kids a healthier alternative to the anxiety of restrictive diets and encourage them to listen to what their bodies need? The answer may lie with “intuitive eating”, a mind-body approach to eating that has been shown to improve diet quality, self-esteem, mental health, fitness motivation, and more.
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Some good tips, some sanctimonious propaganda
- By Alice on 09-18-23
By: Sarah Remmer, and others
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Conscious Moving
- An Embodied Guide for Healing, Learning, Contemplating, and Creating
- By: Christine Caldwell PhD
- Narrated by: Christine Caldwell PhD
- Length: 13 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Body-based psychotherapist, movement specialist, and renowned author-educator Christine Caldwell (Oppression and the Body) offers a radically ambitious mode of somatic awareness and inquiry—and shows how designing our own conscious movement practices can improve not only our own lives, but our relationships, communities, and culture. This anthology explores how movement practices can help us be more present; more grounded and intentional in responding to and working with experiences in the moment; and claim our own bodily autonomy.
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Dateable
- Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled
- By: Jessica Slice, Caroline Cupp
- Narrated by: Dana Swanson, Courtney Lin
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Disabled authors Jessica Slice Caroline Cupp team up to address the serious gap in the dating space. Dateable is the first book on disabled dating and relationships; it’s a dating guide made especially for disabled and chronically ill people, that also calls in nondisabled listeners. Jessica and Caroline take on everything from rom-com representation and dating apps to sex and breakups with a strong narrative underpinning and down-to-earth advice.
By: Jessica Slice, and others
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The Enneagram for Moms
- See the True Colors of Yourself and Your Children as God Intends
- By: Beth McCord, Lydia J. Craig
- Narrated by: Beth McCord
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Beth McCord takes women on a transformative journey through motherhood, blending Enneagram wisdom with practical insights to foster authentic and healthy family dynamics. Beth unveils a guiding metaphor that brings clarity to the intricate art of parenting: diverse colors on a divine palette, graciously used by God to create the beautiful messiness of family life, all the while empowering and redeeming our contributions as parents. These colors represent the unique motivations and strategies reflective of each Enneagram Type.
By: Beth McCord, and others
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Original Love
- The Four Inns on the Path of Awakening
- By: Henry Shukman
- Narrated by: Henry Shukman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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An increasing number of people today feel disconnected, disengaged, and lonely. Many of us are seeking solace, beginning with ourselves. Original Love is the secular spiritual handbook we need to ease our troubles and find the highest possible happiness. Henry Shukman, spiritual director of Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico, provides a way forward based on four paths—Mindfulness, Support, Absorption, and Awakening—that promote growth and healing through meditation for practitioners of any level.
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An important book in this day and age, or other ages for that matter
- By Per Kjellsen on 07-16-24
By: Henry Shukman
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Parenting Teens with Love & Logic
- Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood
- By: Foster Cline, Jim Fay
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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From the authors of the bestselling Parenting with Love and Logic, this teen-specific resource empowers parents to raise responsible tweens, teens, and young adults without anger, nagging, or power struggles. Learn to set healthy boundaries, encourage important skills, and foster effective decision-making with empathy and grace. Designed to help you and your child grow during the challenges of the teenage years, this book addresses a wide range of real-life issues.
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Unethical, misogynistic, unscientific.
- By B Lee on 08-01-24
By: Foster Cline, and others
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You Can Read Anyone
- Never Be Fooled, Lied to, or Taken Advantage of Again
- By: Lieberman, David J.
- Narrated by: David J. Lieberman
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Have you ever wished you could peer into someone's mind to find out what he or she is really thinking? Now you can...really. You Can Read Anyone explains, step-by-step, exactly how to tell what someone is thinking and feeling in real-life situations. It contains specific, proven psychological techniques that can be applied instantly to any person in just about any situation.
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What the heck?
- By Drew on 10-13-08
By: Lieberman, and others
What listeners say about Too Tired to Fight
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kathryn
- 09-04-24
Great book
All or nearly all of the conflicts discussed in the book are variations on conflicts we’ve had in our relationship since having kids. I think it’s already helping us move closer and understand one another better. Only (minor) thing that I felt could have made the audiobook version better is if some of the voice actors weren’t so hammy in their performance.
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- Eleana Perez
- 08-18-24
So relatable
Amazing listen. Was able to relate to every single conflict they mentioned. Helped me understand my partners point of view.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-10-24
Profound read for ALL couples who are parents
In Too Tired to Fight, Erin and Stephen masterfully explore the complexities of conflicts within relationships during the parenting stage, making it a compelling read for anyone who has kids or is currently pregnant.
Each conflict is depicted so perfectly it fosters empathy for the side one might not initially relate to—a testament to the book's profound impact and intention that it's not about the conflict it's about finding a connection point.
The first conflict resonated so deeply with me, it brought back unresolved disputes with my partner, that we never fully resolved but simply outgrew. Listening to this chapter made my heart race as it exposed the unresolved feelings of being misunderstood. It made me wish we could re-do those arguments using the equation that Erin and Stephen so eloquently laid out.
One standout chapter dealt with the "touched out" argument. The suggestion of using a single moment as an indicator that each person is trying to show their love and effort was brilliant. If you know this phrase, you'll love this chapter.
Overall, I couldn't have loved this book more. It's not a one-time read but a resource to revisit as new challenges arise in your parenting and relationship journey.
Finally, my ultimate takeaway is that Erin and Stephen need a TV show. It would be so interesting and educational to see couples navigate these conflicts in real-time. It's not a simple conversation but a complex journey that could span multiple episodes. PRETTY PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN!!!
Too Tired to Fight is a transformative read, offering profound insights into relationship dynamics and the importance of empathy, communication, and connection. Highly recommended for anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of both their partner and themselves and ultimately their relationship.
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- Sarah F
- 08-07-24
Should be required for all couples
Thank you, Erin and Stephen, for sharing so much from your personal and professional experience. As you can imagine, I find myself listening to this because I want to repair and strengthen my relationship with my parenting partner. I have learned so much from your podcasts and now this book. The work of nurturing any relationship will never be complete but the lessons I am picking up from you will help so much.
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- Esther E Turner
- 08-01-24
Fantastic book for any parent!
As a father of 4, this book dives into every single argument that I’ve had with my wife for the past 15 years. Wish I would have read this when we first had kids. Really good deep dives that helped me understand the base of our conflicts and really helped me actively navigate conflicts in real time. 10/10
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