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The Vampire Survival Guide
- How to Fight and Win Against the Undead
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
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Publisher's summary
Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.
In the tradition of bestsellers like The Zombie Survival Guide and The Zen of Zombie, The Vampire Survival Guide covers everything you need to know to protect yourself from vampires. Topics include the habits and routines of vampires, how to tell if somebody you know has become a vampire, how to protect yourself from attack, how to set traps, what to do if you must fight off multiple vampires, how to cleanse an entire town after devastating vampiric attacks, and much more. It confronts head-on the most terrifying situation of all - that of being bitten by a vampire - by providing the listener with numerous approaches, rooted in both science and medicine and religion, for fighting off blood-suckers before it is too late.
Vampires are found in every country in the world - not just in Eastern Europe and Sunnydale, California. With the human population expected to reach over 9 billion by the year 2050, confrontations between men, women, children, and vampires are increasingly inevitable. This guide is the human race's best hope.
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Story
James Hatch is a former special ops Navy SEAL senior chief, master naval parachutist, and expert military dog trainer and handler. His fateful final mission in Afghanistan went south, and Hatch was left with a shattered femur from an AK-47 round and the SEAL dog who fought alongside him was dead. As a result of his horrific leg wound, his 24-year military career came to an end - and with it the only life he’d ever known. In Touching the Dragon, we witness his long road to recovery.
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Rare Honesty - Raw and Well Written
- By Diana on 06-02-18
By: James Hatch, and others
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The United States of Absurdity
- Untold Stories from American History
- By: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Patton Oswalt - foreword
- Narrated by: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The creators of the podcast The Dollop present profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history.
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Fun With Useless Facts
- By Keith on 05-21-17
By: Dave Anthony, and others
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On Combat
- The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and in Peace
- By: Dave Grossman, Loren W. Christensen
- Narrated by: Dave Grossman
- Length: 18 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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On Combat looks at what happens to the human body under the stresses of deadly battle and the impact on the nervous system, heart, breathing, visual and auditory perception, memory - then discusses new research findings as to what measure warriors can take to prevent such debilitations so they can stay in the fight, survive, and win. A brief, but insightful look at history shows the evolution of combat, the development of the physical and psychological leverage that enables humans to kill other humans, followed by an objective examination of domestic violence in America.
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Just what I needed.
- By Jonah on 03-21-17
By: Dave Grossman, and others
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Gomorrah
- A Personal Journey into the Violent International Empire of Naples' Organized Crime System
- By: Roberto Saviano
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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A groundbreaking major best seller in Italy, Gomorrah is Roberto Saviano's gripping nonfiction account of the decline of Naples under the rule of the Camorra, an organized crime network with a large international reach and stakes in construction, high fashion, illicit drugs, and toxic-waste disposal. Known by insiders as "the System," the Camorra affects cities and villages along the Neapolitan coast
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Eye Opener
- By Roy on 02-20-09
By: Roberto Saviano
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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Straight Outta Fangton
- A Comedic Vampire Story
- By: C. T. Phipps
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Peter Stone is a poor, black vampire who is wondering where his nightclub, mansion, and sports car is. Instead, he is working a minimum wage job during the night shift, as being a vampire isn't all that impressive in a world where they've come out to mortals. Exiled from the rich and powerful undead in New Detroit, he is forced to go back when someone dumps a newly-transformed vampire in the bathroom of his gas station's store.
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So funny, you'll die!!!
- By Jason on 09-29-17
By: C. T. Phipps
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Kings of the Dead
- By: Tony Faville
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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When the H1N1 "Swine Flu" virus mutates it begins to not only kill those who have received the vaccination, but also bring on the unthinkable: the dead reanimate. Cole Helman and his friends are not only survival experts, they've spent hours discussing and preparing for just this event and quickly head to the hills before the cities become clogged with looting and riots.
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A must listen to book for all zombie fans.
- By Ron on 01-10-12
By: Tony Faville
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Survive Like a Spy
- Real CIA Operatives Reveal How They Stay Safe in a Dangerous World and How You Can Too
- By: Jason Hanson
- Narrated by: Jason Hanson
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone loves a good spy story, but most of the ones we hear are fictional. That's because the most dangerous and important spycraft is done in secret, often without anyone even noticing. In Survive Like a Spy, best-selling author and former CIA officer Jason Hanson takes the listener deep inside the world of espionage, revealing true stories and expert tactics from real agents engaged in life-threatening missions around the world.
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Fantastic book, practical tips, too much marketing
- By Jennifer Sights on 04-05-18
By: Jason Hanson
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World War Z: The Complete Edition
- An Oral History of the Zombie War
- By: Max Brooks
- Narrated by: Max Brooks, Alan Alda, John Turturro, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Abridged
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World War Z: The Complete Edition features 21 additional Hollywood A-list actors and sci-fi fan favorites performing stories not included in the original edition. New narrators include Academy Award-winning director Martin Scorsese, Spiderman star Alfred Molina, The Walking Dead creator Frank Darabont, rapper Common, Firefly star Nathan Fillion, Shaun of the Dead’s Simon Pegg, and members of the casts of Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes and more!
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Will never pre-order again
- By Ignatz on 05-18-13
By: Max Brooks
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Grunt
- The Curious Science of Humans at War
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Abby Elvidge
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Grunt tackles the science behind some of a soldier's most challenging adversaries - panic, exhaustion, heat, noise - and introduces us to the scientists who seek to conquer them. Mary Roach dodges hostile fire with the U.S. Marine Corps Paintball Team as part of a study on hearing loss and survivability in combat. She visits the fashion design studio of U.S. Army Natick Labs and learns why a zipper is a problem for a sniper.
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I Usually Love Mary Roach, But--
- By Gillian on 12-07-16
By: Mary Roach
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Way of the Wolf
- The Vampire Earth, Book 1
- By: E. E. Knight
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel, E. E. Knight (Introduction)
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Louisiana, 2065. A lot has changed in the 43rd year of the Kurian Order. Possessed of an unnatural and legendary hunger, the bloodthirsty Reapers have come to Earth to establish a New Order built on the harvesting of enslaved human souls. They rule the planet. They thrive on the scent of fear. And if it is night, as sure as darkness, they will come.
On this pitiless world, the indomitable spirit of mankind still breathes in Lieutenant David Valentine.
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Its what you expect, and thats not a bad thing.
- By Kevin McLaughlin on 11-26-08
By: E. E. Knight
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400 Things Cops Know: Street-Smart Lessons From a Veteran Patrolman
- By: Adam Plantinga
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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400 Things Cops Know shows police work on the inside, from the viewpoint of the regular cop on the beat - a profession that can range from rewarding to bizarre to terrifying, all within the course of an eight-hour shift. Written by veteran police sergeant Adam Plantinga, 400 Things Cops Know brings the listener into life the way cops experience it - a life of danger, frustration, occasional triumph, and plenty of grindingly hard routine work.
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Between Good and Evil is Where I Walk
- By Cynthia on 05-26-16
By: Adam Plantinga
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The History and Folklore of Vampires
- The Stories and Legends Behind the Mythical Beings
- By: Charles River Editors
- Narrated by: Jack Chekijian
- Length: 1 hr and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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People have always been afraid of the dead. Since the dawn of humanity, people have both cared for those who are deceased yet also tried to keep them away. There are a myriad of legends and beliefs about the dead coming back, and one of the more persistent ones is of the vampire.
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Vampires from Medieval times to the present
- By MolllyT on 05-14-15
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Shade it Black
- Death and After in Iraq
- By: Jessica Goodell, John Hearn
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Jess enlisted in the Marines immediately after graduating from high school in 2001, and in 2004 she volunteered to serve in the Marine Corps' first officially declared Mortuary Affairs unit in Iraq. Her platoon was tasked with recovering and processing the remains of fallen soldiers. With sensitivity and insight, Jess describes her job retrieving and examining the remains of fellow soldiers lost in combat in Iraq, and the psychological intricacy of coping with their fates, as well as her own.
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Credit-Worthy Slug to the Gut
- By Gillian on 03-25-14
By: Jessica Goodell, and others
What listeners say about The Vampire Survival Guide
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- hizerb
- 12-29-20
nice listen
Cute , entertaining, just what I needed to listen to . The narrator was good. I enjoyed the book.
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