The Merchant Adventurer
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Narrated by:
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Patrick E. McLean
About this listen
An ordinary, money-grubbing Merchant struggling to make a coin off penniless, incompetent adventurers is forced to take on the impossible quest of saving his town and rescuing the woman he loves from a treacherous and powerful Wizard. A battle of wit, wits and haggling that is part homage to, part skewer of the richly worked and often overwrought fantasy genre.
An artful, satire of dungeon crawls and cRPG's, the Merchant Adventurer is part Princess Bride, part Dungeon Pawn Stars and a rollicking good read.
©2014 Patrick E. McLean (P)2014 Patrick E. McLeanListeners also enjoyed...
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- The Tainted Cabal Prequel Novella
- By: Mitchell Hogan
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 2 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Niklaus, master swordsman, has not aged a day since being chosen by his mercurial goddess. A slave to her will, he moves from one cryptic mission to the next in the hope of ascending to become her equal. But even a man who has lived for centuries can sometimes find himself out of his depth. When Niklaus is sent to kill a sorcerer of the Tainted Cabal, overconfidence leads to a fatal mistake, and neither experience nor skill with a blade can prevail against the forces unleashed against him.
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What's Next?
- By James on 06-04-17
By: Mitchell Hogan
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Shadow Magic
- By: Joshua Khan
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Thorn, an outlaw's son, wasn't supposed to be a slave. He's been sold to Tyburn, an executioner, and they're headed to Castle Gloom in Gehenna, the land of the undead, where Thorn will probably be fed to a vampire. Lilith Shadow wasn't supposed to be ruler of Gehenna. But following the murder of her family, young Lily became the last surviving member of House Shadow, a long line of dark sorcerers. Her country is surrounded by enemies, and the only way she can save it is by embracing her heritage and practicing the magic of the undead.
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Great first book!
- By Bob Zelm on 03-31-20
By: Joshua Khan
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Dragons of the Dwarven Depths
- The Lost Chronicles, Volume 1
- By: Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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The companions believe they have slain the evil Dragon Highlord Verminaard. They have rescued the refugees from Pax Tharkas and taken them to a valley in the Kharolis mountains.
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Loved the book. Loathed the narrator.
- By Customer on 06-02-15
By: Margaret Weis, and others
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The Infernal City
- Elder Scrolls Series #1
- By: Greg Keyes
- Narrated by: Michael Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Four decades after the Oblivion Crisis, Tamriel is threatened anew by an ancient and all-consuming evil. It is Umbriel, a floating city that casts a terrifying shadow-for wherever it falls, people die and rise again. And it is in Umbriel's shadow that a great adventure begins and a group of unlikely heroes meet. A legendary prince with a secret. A spy on the trail of a vast conspiracy. A mage obsessed with his desire for revenge. And Annaïg, a young girl in whose hands the fate of Tamriel may rest.
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Umbriel is coming
- By Brenden Zapp on 02-01-13
By: Greg Keyes
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Ink Mage
- A Fire Beneath the Skin, Book 1
- By: Victor Gischler
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In the first installment of the A Fire Beneath the Skin trilogy, the city of Klaar has never fallen. No enemy has ever made it across the Long Bridge or penetrated the city's mighty walls. Even when a powerful invading army shows up at the gates, the duke and his daughter, Rina Veraiin, are certain that it poses little threat. But they are cruelly betrayed from within and, in a horrific spasm of violence, the city is brought to its knees.
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mixed feelings
- By Elvira on 10-28-15
By: Victor Gischler
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Shadow Prowler
- Chronicles of Siala, Book 1
- By: Alexey Pehov
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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An army is gathering; thousands of giants, ogres, and other creatures are joining forces from all across the Desolate Lands, united, for the first time in history, under one, black banner. By the spring, or perhaps sooner, the Nameless One and his forces will be at the walls of the great city of Avendoom.
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This Thief will steal your time away
- By Joshua on 03-29-10
By: Alexey Pehov
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What Remains of Heroes
- A Requiem for Heroes Volume 1
- By: David Benem
- Narrated by: Andrew Tell
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Lannick deVeers used to be somebody. A hero, even. Then, he ran afoul of the kingdom's most powerful general and the cost he paid was nearly too much to bear. In the years that followed, his grief turned him into a shadow of his former self, and he spent his days drowning his regrets in tankards of ale. But now an unexpected encounter casts Lannick upon an unlikely path to revenge. If he can just find the strength to overcome the many mistakes of his past, he can seize the chance to become a hero once more.
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Fantasy with many lives in the balance...
- By MelHay on 12-23-15
By: David Benem
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The House of the Stag
- By: Kage Baker
- Narrated by: Sean Crisden
- Length: 13 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Before the Riders came to their remote valley, the Yendri led a tranquil, pastoral life. When the Riders conquered and enslaved them, only a few escaped to the forests. Rebellion wasn't the Yendri way; they hid, or passively resisted, taking consolation in the prophecies of their spiritual leader. Only one possessed the necessary rage to fight back: Gard the foundling, half-demon, who began a one-man guerrilla war against the Riders.
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Delightfully humorous
- By Katherine on 09-09-11
By: Kage Baker
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Prince of Thorns
- By: Mark Lawrence
- Narrated by: James Clamp
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Author Mark Lawrence has won over audiences everywhere with Prince of Thorns, his exciting debut novel. Nine-year-old Prince Jorg is forced to watch as his mother and brother are slaughtered. Fleeing the palace, Jorg joins a bloodthirsty band of thugs. But he’s determined to take back what’s rightfully his, so he returns to the castle a few years later - unaware of the dark and powerful magic that awaits.
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It sticks in your head.
- By Door on 09-07-13
By: Mark Lawrence
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The Sellsword
- Dragonlance: Tracy Hickman Presents: The Anvil of Time, Book 1
- By: Cam Banks
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Strike the Anvil of Time! Vanderjack is a mercenary with a troubled past and a sword haunted by ghosts. Hired to rescue a nobleman's daughter from behind enemy lines, the sellsword finds himself a pivotal player in the liberation of Nordmaar from the Red Dragon army. The Chronicler is charged to use the ancient Anvil of Time to travel back along the river of time and find the lost stories that fell between the pages of the history books of Krynn in this new series created and guided by the creative mind of Tracy Hickman.
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Interesting story, alittle different at the end
- By Dennis on 04-16-13
By: Cam Banks
What listeners say about The Merchant Adventurer
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Charles E. Elberson
- 11-20-15
Pure enjoyment
It's always wonderful when you get a sense that the writer really enjoyed the story they tell. A fantastic listening experience happens when the performer enjoys the story just as much. I've been sometimes disappointed when authors perform their own work, but in this case it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine anyone else doing justice to this slanted tale of wizard and magic and adventurers and the occasional damned damsel in distress. I'm hooked.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Akash Kashyap
- 12-04-17
Classic McLean
Excellent preformance, great characters, interesting concept. Ending drags on a bit, but otherwise it's aces.
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- DabOfDarkness
- 05-06-15
Reminiscent of D&D fun
This book is part epic adventure fantasy and part tongue in cheek pointed humor at the often overdone fantasy tropes. Our main hero, Boltac the Merchant, is, indeed, a very reluctant hero. However, eventually, against his better nature, he is forced to join the adventure, outwit the bad guy, rescue his lady love, and bring prosperity to his home town. Or something along those lines. Really, Boltac is just focused on one thing: not letting his lady love know he actually has a soft spot for her.
One day a would be hero, Relan, strolls in to a shop wanting to purchase a sword so he can gallivant off to rescue his lady love. However, he doesn’t have the coin for it. So he asks to lease out a sword. Boltac rolls his eyes and eventually clouts Relan over the head and drags his unconscious body outside. But then the minions of an evil wizard (Dimsbury) and his side kick (Raddick). The owner of the local tavern, and secret sweetheart of Boltac, is stolen away. Now Boltac must make some tough choices.
The humor permeates this novel and is often of the skeptical variety. Boltac questions nearly everything, even if it is just in his head. He’s always weighing the choices, adding the coins, calculating what’s in his best interest. Relan is great sidekick for him, being so idealistic, so naive, so honorable. Boltac is constantly having to rein the young man in, and not always teaching him the ways of adventuring. The back and forth between these two is most amusing!
There are a few ladies in this book. I can think of two off the top of my head. There might have been a third. One is a supposed damsel in distress that is working with a group of folks running scams. The second is Boltac’s secret love, the tavern owner. She’s smart in her own right, taking charge of her actions and formulating a plan to escape from the first moment. However, we spend little time with her. The author shows he can write female characters, and yet he had so few in this book and gave them small, tiny roles. I hope his other books make better use of the female gender, as I fully intend to seek out more of his work.
Then we have the bad guys. They come in two flavors: ruthless and deserving of death and then we have the orc servants (like Samga the orc leader) who would probably have fairly quiet lives if left to their own devices. Raddick is vicious and enjoys killing for the sport. Dimsbury is the brains behind the evil duo and is quite ruthless in his own way. These potent villains make great adversaries for the shrewd Boltac and the idiotically heroic Relan.
All in all, I really enjoyed this book. It strongly reminded me of the days when my man played Dungeons & Dragons weekly and he come home in the early dawn hours, smelling of stale pizza, one too many energy drinks, and cigarette smoke, babbling about his exploits in a some dungeon or medieval forest. This book was like that, but far better since it was a coherent story and not just disconnected ramblings by a man who was obviously dead tired but too wired on caffeine to sleep.
Narration: Patrick McLean narrated his own book, and I always have a few worries when I see an author narrating his own work. But have no fears here! McLean does an awesome job of narrating this book. He has a perfectly shrewd and skeptical voice for Boltac, a wonderfully dense and optimistic voice for Relan, and a serpent’s treacherous sneer for Raddick. I also enjoyed his ‘I’m way too smart to deign to chat with you’ voice for Dimsbury. And don’t forget his toothy voice for the orc Samga. It was a most excellent performance.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Chris
- 05-13-15
Snarky, witty, and well written
I enjoyed the reluctant stereotypes of the characters. Who doesn't like a reluctantly evil Mage? Nice, short read. Each character was fleshed out nicely, and Patrick does a great job with the performance.
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- thewheelman84
- 01-05-17
If the NPC saved the world....
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
I would definitely recommend this to a friend. The book has the perfect balance of parody of your typical "high fantasy" novel, video games and tabletop games and having a great well written story. And Patrick Mclean's humor and performance really nails it down.
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Merchant Adventurer?
There are some great moments later in the book but are spoilerish. The whole interaction between Relan and Boltac in the beginning of the story is highly entertaining. A stalwart youth trying to rescue his love versus a jaded master salesman.
What about Patrick E. McLean’s performance did you like?
He does really well with making unique character voices and making them fit with the character themselves.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
[Spoilerish]
The moment towards the end of the book where Boltac has to make a decision to flee or to rescue his love. The way that it is written you can feel the struggle Boltac goes through.
[/Spoilerish]
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- S. R. Wilhite
- 04-28-15
Great story
Would you consider the audio edition of The Merchant Adventurer to be better than the print version?
I haven't read the print version but given how good the audio edition is, I cannot image being able to read the intonation of the dialog so as to get the full effect of Boltac's character.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Boltac, of course. He is hilarious.
What about Patrick E. McLean’s performance did you like?
All of it. The voices used for the different characters were really good.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Yes, I was very sad when it ended. I wanted the adventure(s) to continue.
Any additional comments?
Excellent book. Nice light quick read but has substance as well.
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- A. Sines
- 03-29-15
Rollicking good fun with a sliver of dark slicing
What about Patrick E. McLean’s performance did you like?
The voices! The voices!
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I laughed, chuckled, giggled, snorted my way through this book.
Any additional comments?
With books I choose, I browse through the reviews before purchase. I’ve noticed that with the few that require a review for a free copy, I don’t bother. I think it’s because I don’t want to be influenced and I want my review to be as honest as I can make it. That’s what I would want if I ever let anyone read my stuff. It is only fair that is what I give to other authors.
I barely looked at anything but the premise of the book and when opening this audible version I noticed the same name in author and narrator. I’ve never had that experience before. At least not that I remember. This was going to be interesting.
When I first heard Mr. McLean’s voice, I got excited over just that. His is the kind of voice I specifically look for when I want something for winding down after a long day. I save female narrators for puttering around the house, keeping me awake.
I thought, regardless if the story is good, at least I’ll sleep tonight.
Then, before the first chapter was over, I found that I was sitting on the front porch, enjoying the moments just after sunset, not only giggling like a freakin’ schoolgirl, but laughing so loudly, I startled a few cats across the street. Maybe I wasn’t going to get sleep after all. (But I did, finally, and had to freakin’ rewind…)
By the time the kiddos got home from school (still not done with the book – phone calls and life kept getting in the way), I’d already decided that my middle kid, the boy who only reads when he has to, has to listen to this book.
To say this is an enjoyable listen is a disservice. I’d much rather say something along the lines of “OMFG! You have to listen to this guy!” But I detest sounding like a teenage fangirl.
Personally, I think Mr. McLean did an amazing job not only putting the words to paper, but reading those words aloud. The character voices were spot on and so crazily different, I wondered a few times if the man had help. It reminded me of reading to my kids when they were little and them begging my husband, “Do the voices! Do the voices!”
The Merchant Adventurer makes fun of the epic fantasy. All the characters are there: the evil wizard, the hero, the merchant, the damsel, the thief. The story arch is pretty much in line with the formula fantasy. But despite this, it is not your everyday fantasy quest. It has more spice, more sarcasm, more wine than cheese, and more entertainment than the serious business of saving the world.
How I got my kid to listen (besides my own excitement)? Dude, it’s like someone smushed together The Princess Bride and Galavant without the music. He says, Really? Eyes wide and sparkly. Is it downloaded yet? He put aside his games and internet perusing and sat down and listened. He had to pause at the goatherd incident, share it with me, and laugh some more. (I’m probably a terrible mother. He’s 13.)
Since I’ve renewed the vigor in my love of reading the past few years, I’ve found there are few books published today that I would revisit. Truly, my ultimate favs were written before I was born. However, this one, I know I will revisit. When the details fade, the scenes become jumbled in my head, I will have to go back. To the fun.
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- Matthew Skinner
- 05-10-15
Well executed story of a unwilling hero
I liked the story it was a easy listen though there were two audio mistakes of reading the same three words twice, I think I would love to here more stories of this band and world.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Searcher
- 05-01-15
Great story, great storyteller
This is wonderful and fun adventure tale told by the author, who is an amazing narrator. Highly recommended.
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- Eric
- 02-26-23
great story
nice to focus on the little things in a fantasy universe. also a good intro into DnD. I appreciate the author's writing style, relaxed and with feeling.
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