The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom
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Narrated by:
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Bronson Pinchot
About this listen
Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You've never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change.
Rejected by their princesses and cast out of their castles, Liam, Frederic, Duncan, and Gustav stumble upon an evil plot that could endanger each of their kingdoms. Now it's up to them to triumph over their various shortcomings, take on trolls, bandits, dragons, witches, and other assorted terrors, and become the heroes no one ever thought they could be.
Debut author Christopher Healy takes us on a journey with four imperfect princes and their four improbable princesses, all of whom are trying to become perfect heroes - a fast-paced, funny, and fresh introduction to a world where everything, even our classic fairy tales, is not at all what it seems.
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The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
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perfect nonsense
- By Jen on 09-04-20
By: Logan J. Hunder
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The Bitches of Everafter
- The Everafter Series, Book 1
- By: Barbra Annino
- Narrated by: Erin Fossa
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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These are not the mild-mannered maidens of your childhood. These are fallen princesses and fierce women with no recollection of who they are, where they came from, or how they arrived in a mysterious town called Everafter. All they know is that they've been sentenced to a stretch in a half-way house by a malicious judge with an ax to grind. They've been stripped of their freedom, their kingdoms, and their true loves. Now, they have nothing left to lose.
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Good Idea, Bad execution
- By A.J. Amendolara on 04-26-15
By: Barbra Annino
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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The Frog Princess
- By: E. D. Baker
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Princess Emma will do just about anything to get out of marrying the self-centered Prince Jorge. So when she meets a frog named Eadric who claims, of course, to be a prince, she decides to give him a kiss and see what happens. Bad idea. The frog stays a frog, and worse still, Emma turns into a frog herself. It turns out only the person who cast the spell can break it, so Emma and Eadric are soon hopping along trying to find the witch who can make them human again.
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Enjoyable for the whole family
- By Queenoid on 11-08-06
By: E. D. Baker
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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Shadow Prowler
- Chronicles of Siala, Book 1
- By: Alexey Pehov
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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An army is gathering; thousands of giants, ogres, and other creatures are joining forces from all across the Desolate Lands, united, for the first time in history, under one, black banner. By the spring, or perhaps sooner, the Nameless One and his forces will be at the walls of the great city of Avendoom.
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This Thief will steal your time away
- By Joshua on 03-29-10
By: Alexey Pehov
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Flunked
- Booktrack Edition
- By: Jen Calonita
- Narrated by: Kristin Condon
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Gilly wouldn't call herself wicked, exactly...but when you have five little brothers and sisters and live in a run-down boot, you have to get creative to make ends meet. Gilly's a pretty good thief (if she does say so herself). Until she gets caught. Gilly's sentenced to three months at Fairy Tale Reform School where all of the teachers are former (super-scary) villains like the Big Bad Wolf, the Evil Queen, and Cinderella's Wicked Stepmother. Harsh. But when she meets fellow students Jax and Kayla, she learns there's more to this school than its heroic mission.
By: Jen Calonita
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
- Books 1-2 and Prequel Novella
- By: Shae Ford
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 37 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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Fantasy with light romance
- By Skipper on 09-23-15
By: Shae Ford
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Thisby Thestoop and the Black Mountain
- By: Zac Gorman
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In the absurd land of Nth, Thisby Thestoop can be found within the forlorn walls of Castle Grimstone, down the precarious steps of the Black Mountain dungeon, up to her nose in griffon toenails, gnoll spittle, and troll meat (to give to them, not made of them). When the prince and princess arrive for a Royal Inspection, the much too good-looking Princess Iphigenia winds up lost in the tunnels of the dungeon - without her guards, her staff, or her younger twin brother - and it's up to Thisby to guide the princess safely.
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Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 11-06-18
By: Zac Gorman
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Shadow Magic
- By: Joshua Khan
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Thorn, an outlaw's son, wasn't supposed to be a slave. He's been sold to Tyburn, an executioner, and they're headed to Castle Gloom in Gehenna, the land of the undead, where Thorn will probably be fed to a vampire. Lilith Shadow wasn't supposed to be ruler of Gehenna. But following the murder of her family, young Lily became the last surviving member of House Shadow, a long line of dark sorcerers. Her country is surrounded by enemies, and the only way she can save it is by embracing her heritage and practicing the magic of the undead.
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Great first book!
- By Bob Zelm on 03-31-20
By: Joshua Khan
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Frostborn
- Thrones and Bones, Book 1
- By: Lou Anders
- Narrated by: Fabio Tassone
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Meet Karn. He is destined to take over the family farm in Norrøngard. His only problem? He'd rather be playing the board game Thrones and Bones. Enter Thianna. Half human, half frost giantess. She's too tall to blend in with other humans but too short to be taken seriously as a giant. When family intrigues force Karn and Thianna to flee into the wilderness, they have to keep their sense of humor and their wits about them. But survival can be challenging when you're being chased by a 1,500-year-old dragon, an evil uncle, wyverns, and an assortment of trolls and giants.
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Good story
- By Erza on 12-14-22
By: Lou Anders
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More Than a Game
- Fayroll 1
- By: Andrey Vasilyev
- Narrated by: Adrian Niro
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Tasked with a new assignment, journalist Harriton is given explicit orders to write a series of articles on the Virtual Gaming World of Fayroll and its developers. Harriton grudgingly accepts the assignment but soon finds himself enthralled by the virtual fantasy world and its amazing quests, unpredictable challenges and nearly endless possibilities.
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Story seemed good but the reader...
- By Kindle Customer on 03-21-18
By: Andrey Vasilyev
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The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve. None of that is true. Yet. In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.
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Molly Pepper, daughter of brilliant but unknown inventor Cassandra Pepper, lives with her mother in New York. By day, they make ends meet running a pickle shop; but by night, they toil and dream of Cassandra taking her place among the most famous inventors in America. In an attempt to find a way to exhibit Cass’s work at the World’s Fair, they break into the Inventor's Guild, where they discover a mysterious plot to destroy New York.
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“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.
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Hilarious!
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Everything I’d known about the world was a lie. On my thirteenth birthday, I, Alcatraz Smedry (yes, I got named after a prison, don’t ask), received my inheritance: a bag of sand. And then I accidentally destroyed my foster parents’ kitchen. It’s not my fault, things just break around me, I swear! I thought the sand was a joke until evil Librarians came to steal it. You’re probably thinking, “Librarians are nice people who recommend good books,” but that’s just what they want you to think!
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Highly Entertaining + Great Narration
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The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve. None of that is true. Yet. In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.
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Cheeky and fun
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Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
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Molly Pepper, daughter of brilliant but unknown inventor Cassandra Pepper, lives with her mother in New York. By day, they make ends meet running a pickle shop; but by night, they toil and dream of Cassandra taking her place among the most famous inventors in America. In an attempt to find a way to exhibit Cass’s work at the World’s Fair, they break into the Inventor's Guild, where they discover a mysterious plot to destroy New York.
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“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.
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Hilarious!
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What listeners say about The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Leah
- 08-13-14
Ahh the genius that is Bronson Pinchot
I know I'm not alone being an adult who enjoys stories meant for the youth, lacking in extreme violence, sex, and prose. Sometimes a person just wants to hear a funny, cute story and this does the job superbly.
And as good as the story is, it is nothing compared to the sublime performance by Mr. Pinchot. Yes it may be attributed to a smashing editor but the fact that he uses at least four accents, monster voices etc. to voice over 20 some odd characters was astonishing. Yes Yes I know it's his job, whatever. I can't speak a with a would be Irish, English, So. Cali, and Austrian/German accent and back again without blurring them all together. The character voices were so clear that I didn't have to have the "and so&so said this" "and so & so so said that." You could differentiate from voice alone who was speaking and that is because of Bronson's performance.
I am a Bronson Pinchot fan through and through and I'm slowly going through his entire repertoire. Yes Matterhorn is still looming over my shoulders as a very heavy read so I will enjoy these little peace nuggets when I get them. Cheers!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Forrest
- 07-25-19
it was fine.
a little long but adequate. nice background story that doesn't require much focus. good to listen with kids in the car. they can size if and catch up. pleasant story.
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- Mom of three
- 07-08-18
Awesome book. Just read it already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good book, but I don't like the fact that the unique voices can be hard to understand and annoying. And overall this Book deserves the five star rating!
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- Kindle Customer
- 05-24-18
Not your average hero tale
this series starts off pretty interesting currently it seems like there may be some wife swapping happening but maybe they actually will all stay with their current wives. I'm interested to see what happens and future novels of this world
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- Monica
- 03-30-17
I love this series!
I will always love this book - can't wait to read it to my future kids.
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- Douglas L. Kindle Jr.
- 05-06-15
a great twist
the adventure is so full of comedy action and twists that you feel like your part of the company of princes.
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- LannaQ
- 01-01-13
Nice lighthearted read.
This was a nice twist on the "fairy tales" most of us have grown up knowing and loving. Please do not mistake this book as only to be enjoyed by a YA / children audience ...If you are open to a silly little fairy tale romp this book is for you.
Bronson Pinchot is an excellent narrator...I first listened to him in the "Grimnoir Chronicles" books by Larry Correia and was enthralled by his diversity with voices...he does not disappoint in this instant either.
I would recommend this book for a light read...it is a nice follow up to a more emotionally taxing story.
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- browncow
- 04-23-24
such an enjoyable and easy listen
very light hearted and entertaining this is the perfect book to listen with family.
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- Mom in Maine
- 10-29-12
Wonderful Story and an amazing narrator!
Wow. We stumbled upon this book by doing the "if you like this, you will like that" search and what a terrific find. Both my son and I enjoyed it immensely. The story is a hilarious exposé about what happened to the princes in some of the fairy tales we THINK we know so well.
Each Prince has very definite and very funny personality traits, which lead to troubles with their princesses. (Sleeping Beauty is not the demure, angelic girl we remember.) The story is engaging and the characters we meet along the way are all memorable.
Bronson Pinchot is an incredible narrator. He does spot on voices for all of the princes. (Duncan is particularly amusing.)
We loved this book and can't wait for the second one to come out!
(review written by 12 year old boy and 48 year old mom)
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13 people found this helpful
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- Mommy of four
- 04-15-18
THIS IS A GOOD BOOK
This is a good book for kids and teens. This is really good and kid friendly and fun LISTEN TOO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😝😋😜😜😝😝😝😍😍😍😱😱😱😱😱😀😀😁😂😂😊☺
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