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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
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Publisher's summary
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life. The idea that some women and men prefer not to have children is often met with sharp criticism and incredulity by the public and mainstream media. In this provocative and controversial collection of essays curated by writer Meghan Daum, 16 acclaimed writers explain why they have chosen to eschew parenthood. Contributors include Lionel Shriver, Sigrid Nunez, Kate Christiensen, Elliott Holt, Geoff Dyer, and Tim Kreider, among others, who will give a unique perspective on the overwhelming cultural pressure of parenthood. Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed makes a thoughtful and passionate case for why parenthood is not the only path in life, taking our parent-centric, kid-fixated, baby-bump-patrolling culture to task in the process. What emerges is a more nuanced, diverse view of what it means to live a full, satisfying life.
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This Close to Happy is the rare, vividly personal account of what it feels like to suffer from clinical depression, written from a woman's perspective and informed by an acute understanding of the implications of this disease over a lifetime. Taking off from essays on depression she has written for The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Daphne Merkin casts her eye back to her beginnings to try to sort out the root causes of her affliction.
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I should be the last person to recommend this book
- By Mariaposa on 03-04-17
By: Daphne Merkin
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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The Girls Who Went Away
- The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
- By: Ann Fessler
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.
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Sad but True ... and Helpful
- By Kim Kavanagh on 01-05-17
By: Ann Fessler
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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My Life with Bob
- Flawed Heroine Keeps Book of Books, Plot Ensues
- By: Pamela Paul
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens, Pamela Paul
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Pamela Paul has kept a single book by her side for 28 years - carried throughout high school and college, hauled from Paris to London to Thailand, from job to job, safely packed away and then carefully removed from apartment to house to its current perch on a shelf over her desk - reliable if frayed, anonymous-looking yet deeply personal. This book has a name: Bob. Bob is Paul's Book of Books, a journal that records every book she's ever read.
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An uncanny mirror and a celebration of book love
- By Cherilyn Parsons on 07-28-19
By: Pamela Paul
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Mother Daughter Me
- A Memoir
- By: Katie Hafner
- Narrated by: Katie Hafner
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The complex, deeply binding relationship between mothers and daughters is brought vividly to life in Katie Hafner's remarkable memoir, an exploration of the year she and her mother, Helen, spent working through, and triumphing over, a lifetime of unresolved emotions. Dreaming of a "year in Provence" with her mother, Katie urges Helen to move to San Francisco to live with her and Zoe, Katie's teenage daughter. Katie and Zoe had become a mother-daughter team, strong enough, Katie thought, to absorb the arrival of a 77-year-old woman set in her ways....
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Listen and be swept away!
- By Barbara Quick on 06-02-22
By: Katie Hafner
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Pride Over Pity
- By: Kailyn Lowry
- Narrated by: Renee Chambliss
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Fans of MTV's Teen Mom have watched Kailyn Lowry grow from a vulnerable, pregnant teen into a fiercely independent young mother. Through it all Kailyn has faced challenges with her head held high and her spirit intact. In a moving effort to finally put the past behind her, Kailyn shares her troubled, often painful story and reveals the dark secrets she has so closely guarded.
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Ridiculous
- By Anonymous User on 08-25-18
By: Kailyn Lowry
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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Happily Ever After
- The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart
- By: Trista Sutter
- Narrated by: Trista Sutter
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether or not you remember Trista (Rehn) Sutter from her heartbreak on the first season of The Bachelor reality show or as the original Bachelorette, you’ve probably seen her on the cover of magazines like People and US Weekly or on shows like Ellen and Dancing with the Stars. She has rarely been out of the public eye since falling in love with Ryan Sutter on The Bachelorette more than ten years ago.
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Not what I was expecting
- By marcie on 01-09-17
By: Trista Sutter
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Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?” Cutrone says.
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For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
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Identical Strangers
- A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
- By: Elyse Schein, Paula Bernstein
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo, Effie Johnson
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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This is the astonishing true story of Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein, who shared a personal history for more than three decades - and didn't know it. In her mid-30s, Schein finally decided to call an adoption agency to learn about her biological mother. Not expecting much, she instead got the surprise of her life. Her identical twin sister, Bernstein, lived just minutes away.
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What if you are a twin and don't know it?
- By Joanne on 07-15-08
By: Elyse Schein, and others
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Manhood for Amateurs
- The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son
- By: Michael Chabon
- Narrated by: Michael Chabon
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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As a devoted son, as a passionate husband, and above all as a father, Chabon's memories of childhood, of his parents' marriage and divorce, of moments of painful adolescent comedy and giddy encounters with the popular art and literature of his own youth, are like a theme played by the mad quartet of which he now finds himself co-conductor. At once dazzling, hilarious, and moving, Manhood for Amateurs is destined to become a classic.
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Terrible
- By Ken on 10-14-09
By: Michael Chabon
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In an era of falling births, it’s often said that millennials invented the idea of not having kids. But history is full of women without children: some who chose childless lives, others who wanted children but never had them, and still others—the vast majority, then and now—who fell somewhere in between. Drawing on deep research and her own experience as a woman without children, historian Peggy O’Donnell shows that many of the reasons women are not having children today are ones they share with women in the past.
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
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Becoming a parent, once the expected outcome of adulthood, is increasingly viewed as a potential threat to the most basic goals and aspirations of modern life. We seek self-fulfillment; we want to liberate women to find meaning and self-worth outside the home; and we wish to protect the planet from the ravages of climate change. Weighing the pros and cons of having children, millennials and zoomers are finding it increasingly difficult to judge in its favor. With lucid argument and passionate prose, Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman offer the guidance necessary to move beyond uncertainty.
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Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
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What listeners say about Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Piko
- 01-16-20
Pretty good read, I wish it included larger diversity in the experiences narrated by the writers.
I did not read the whole thing because all the writers (up until I stopped reading) did not resemble my situation and I could not relate to their worries or thoughts. I will definitely recommend this book for my wife but I, as a straight man, did not relate much to the writers. Maybe this is a book aimed to women but the title did not express that. I wish it talked more about how to live with the choices you’ve made and perhaps what the future has in store for you based on the experiences of others.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Elizabeth Baldwin
- 09-02-16
challenging to hear the different voices
didn't love the narrator, and felt it hard to hear the voices of different writers when read by the same person. wish i had read the book instead of listened to it.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Alek Grant
- 04-27-24
A satisfying audio book.
“In a world where societal norms often equate fulfillment with parenthood, ‘Choosing Child-Free’ emerges as a beacon of validation and reassurance for those considering or embracing a child-free life. From cover to cover, this audiobook exudes a sense of calm and empowerment, offering a respite from the societal pressure to conform.
‘Choosing Child-Free’ weaves together a tapestry of personal narratives and expert insights, creating a rich tapestry of perspectives that both informs and uplifts. Each story shared by individuals who have chosen the path of child-free living serves as a testament to the fulfillment and freedom that come from embracing one’s authentic desires and priorities.
What sets this audiobook apart is its ability to navigate sensitive topics with grace and sensitivity. Whether exploring the decision-making process behind choosing a child-free life or addressing common misconceptions and societal stigmas, ‘Choosing Child-Free’ does so with compassion and understanding, fostering a sense of solidarity and camaraderie among listeners.
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- Haley
- 02-27-19
Not Great for Audio
I overall enjoyed the idea behind this book, being childless myself. There were some different viewpoints, though a few sounded like pretty much the same story over again.
My problem with this in audio format was twofold. 1 - Though there were 16 writers, there were only 2 narrators, and (personal preference) I did not love either of them. O ly having two narrators was an issue because 2 - The chapters were not labeled with their title, which seems like it would include the author. That would have been helpful because when I heard about another woman who has similar struggles to the last 3 women, I couldn't always tell which story I was on. In my mind they just became woman of Chapter 10. That didn't actually help so when many women with a similar stories were being told by the same voice, I ended up getting many of the stories mixed up in my head.
I have been listening to audiobooks for years, to be fair, never a collection of essays about real life stories, and I never have issues keeping facts straight or following storyline. I think this is probably a great read in paper or ebook, but due of the lack of properly titled chapters, and only 2 narrators, it isn't a very fun audiobook.
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- Rita Anderson
- 07-10-23
Loved it!! Excellent real life, thoughtful stories
Thank you for creating this book, and for everyone sharing their honest thoughts and experiences! It’s helped so much to realize if we don’t want kids, it’s totally ok and normal. And we can also create lives and experiences and relationships that are fulfilling and rich.
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- LINDSAY
- 10-06-15
Fantastic
Great perspectives for anyone - including those with children. I don't have kids and it was lovely to hear the rationale behind other people's decisions. I came to my 'no children' decision from other circumstances, but yet wholeheartedly identify with these thoughtful women who came similar decisions after significant reflection. Great book all around.
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3 people found this helpful
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- S. Schwankert
- 12-15-18
Ok, I get it
While this is an excellent subject for exploration, by the time the ninth story begins to play, the listener realizes that 16 writers is too many by about half. Writers who have chosen not to have children may not be selfish, but they certainly are sanctimonious. This may have been better to read than to hear as an audiobook. Lionel Shriver’s essay is the best of the collection.
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- Andrew C. Jones
- 04-22-20
Great, but needed more voices
This was a wonderful audio version of a wonderful book. My only complaint is that only two narrators did the whole thing; good as they were, for the audiobook to be most effective, more voices were needed.
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- bp
- 03-28-18
A nice collection of essays
I appreciate how these authors publicly explored a very private question. All very different takes on the issue, each gave a personal perspective that was well articulated.
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- S
- 06-20-18
Could Not Stop Listening
This is a fantastic audiobook! Each of the stories selected is truly unique and I loved both of the narrators. The combination of these writer's experiences and decisions were truly well put together-there is something for every listener to learn from.
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4 people found this helpful