My Lobotomy
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Johnny Heller
About this listen
Assisted by journalist/novelist Charles Fleming, Howard Dully recounts a family tragedy whose Sophoclean proportions he could only sketch in his powerful 2005 broadcast on NPR's All Things Considered.
"In 1960," he writes, "I was given a transorbital, or 'ice pick' lobotomy. My stepmother arranged it. My father agreed to it. Dr. Walter Freeman, the father of the American lobotomy, told me he was going to do some 'tests'. It took 10 minutes and cost 200 dollars."
Fellow doctors called Freeman's technique barbaric: an ice pick¿like instrument was inserted about three inches into each eye socket and twirled to sever connections from the frontal lobe to the rest of the brain. The procedure was intended to help curb a variety of psychoses by muting emotional responses, but sometimes it irreversibly reduced patients to a childlike state or (in 15 percent of the operations Freeman performed) killed them outright. Dully's 10-minute "test" did neither, but in some ways it had a far crueler result, since it didn't end the unruly behavior that had set his stepmother against him to begin with.
"I spent the next 40 years in and out of insane asylums, jails, and halfway houses," he tells us. "I was homeless, alcoholic, and drug-addicted. I was lost."
From all accounts, there was no excuse for the lobotomy. Dully had never been "crazy", and his (not very) bad behavior sounds like the typical acting-up of a child in desperate need of affection. His stepmother responded with unrelenting abuse and neglect, and his father allowed her to demonize his son and never admitted his complicity in the lobotomy; Freeman capitalized on their monumental dysfunction. It's a tale of epic horror, and while Dully's courage in telling it inspires awe, listeners are left to speculate about what drove supposedly responsible adults to such unconscionable acts.
©2007 Howard Dully and Charles Fleming (P)2007 Tantor Media Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial reviews
Narrator Johnny Heller portrays a man recounting his distant and incomplete memories of a dysfunctional home with parents who abused him. In the opening chapters he speaks as the young boy, telling what behavior led his parents, in 1960, to have a quack doctor scramble his brain with an ice pick at age 12. Later Heller's sandy, mature voice becomes the teenager describing a troubled life, in and out of institutions and jails. Heller's expression fits the author's sad struggle to grow up after suffering parental and neural damage. He depicts no strong emotion until the last, when he assumes Dully's indignation at the discovery of the lies his stepmother told the surgeon to justify the destruction of his frontal lobes.
Critic reviews
"Gut wrenching....It's a tale of epic horror, and while Dully's courage in telling it inspires awe, readers are left to speculate about what drove supposedly responsible adults to such unconscionable acts. A profoundly disturbing survivor's tale." ( Kirkus)
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Shame on Church and State
- By Susie on 08-22-17
By: Bev Sellars
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The Pact
- Three Young Men Make a Promise and Fulfill a Dream
- By: Drs. Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, Rameck Hunt
- Narrated by: Drs. Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, Rameck Hunt
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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All too often, we hear about the dangers of male friendships in which peer pressure prevails over common sense. But for George Jenkins, Sampson Davis, and Rameck Hunt, strong and supportive male friendship was a powerful antidote to the temptations and pitfalls of street life. It led three boys to make a vow to be there for one another, to encourage one another every step of the way, until they overcame the odds and became doctors.
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Very Inspirational
- By Heather on 04-10-09
By: Drs. Sampson Davis, and others
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Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
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Wilde Lake
- A Novel
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney, Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Luisa "Lu" Brant is the newly elected - and first female - state's attorney of Howard County, Maryland, a job in which her widower father famously served. Fiercely intelligent and ambitious, she sees an opportunity to make her name by trying a mentally disturbed drifter accused of beating a woman to death in her home. It's not the kind of case that makes headlines, but peaceful Howard County doesn't see many homicides.
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In a word saccharine and boring
- By Rena on 05-12-16
By: Laura Lippman
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Go Ask Alice
- By: Anonymous
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Life at 15 isn't easy for a girl if she's shy and hates the way she looks. Each day is heaven or hell, depending on who talks to her, or who doesn't. So when she's finally accepted by a group, she doesn't refuse their party games, even if it means taking LSD. Soon she's taking little pills to wake up and others to go to sleep, and the days begin to blur. Based on a 15-year-old's diary, Go Ask Alice is the intimate account of one girl's fatal journey into the world of drug addiction.
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WE WERE ALL LIED TO. THIS IS FICTION PEOPLE!!!
- By Sharron on 05-09-14
By: Anonymous
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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The Reluctant Communist
- My Desertion, Court-Martial, and Forty-Year Imprisonment in North Korea
- By: Charles Robert Jenkins, Jim Fredrick
- Narrated by: John McLain
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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In January of 1965, 24-year-old US Army sergeant Charles Robert Jenkins abandoned his post in South Korea, walked across the DMZ, and surrendered to communist North Korean soldiers standing sentry along the world's most heavily militarized border. He believed his action would get him back to the States and a short jail sentence. Instead he found himself in another sort of prison, where for 40 years he suffered under one of the most brutal and repressive regimes the world has known. This fast-paced, harrowing tale, told plainly and simply by Jenkins (with journalist Jim Frederick).
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Excellent history and human story
- By Anonymous User on 09-16-21
By: Charles Robert Jenkins, and others
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Not Afraid of Life
- My Journey So Far
- By: Bristol Palin, Nancy French
- Narrated by: Bristol Palin
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In this personal memoir, Bristol Palin opens up for the first time ever. She takes listeners behind the scenes, from growing up in Alaska to coming of age amid the media and political frenzy surrounding her mother's political rise; from becoming a single mother while still a teenager to coping as her relationship with the baby's father crumbled publicly. Through all of these ups and downs, Bristol learned how to face her challenges head-on, with courage and grace.
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Forgiveness
- By Dennis on 01-16-16
By: Bristol Palin, and others
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Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul
- Stories of Changes, Choices, and Growing Up for Kids Ages 9-13
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen, and others
- Narrated by: Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen, Irene Dunlap
- Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
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Our preteen years, ages nine to 13, can present some of the most difficult times in our young lives, a period of tremendous physical and emotional change. We're eager to leave the "kid" stage, yet we're uncertain about what adolescence will bring; we start hearing the familiar refrain "wait until you're older" far too often. Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul is a companion guide for these transitional years.
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Great for children!
- By T Renaud on 01-04-15
By: Jack Canfield, and others
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The Hour I First Believed
- A Novel
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 25 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When high-school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives. But when Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right.
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excellent all around yarn
- By G. on 01-10-09
By: Wally Lamb
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One Call Away
- Answering Life's Challenges with Unshakable Faith
- By: Brenda Warner, Jennifer Schuchmann
- Narrated by: Christie King
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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What can you do when your well-laid plans fall apart and life takes an unexpected turn? Brenda Warner is best known as the outspoken wife of NFL superstar and Dancing with the Stars alum Kurt Warner. But years earlier, she found herself living through any woman’s nightmare: a healthy baby tragically injured in the bathtub; a sudden end to a career she loved; betrayal and divorce; poverty; public humiliation; a deadly natural disaster that destroyed her foundation and shook her to her core. One shattering phone call at a time, Brenda Warner’s life came to resemble little of her dream.
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Page turner and worth a thousand credits !
- By Marian on 10-27-14
By: Brenda Warner, and others
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Liner Notes
- On Parents & Children, Exes & Excess, Death & Decay, & a Few of My Other Favorite Things
- By: Loudon Wainwright III
- Narrated by: Loudon Wainwright III
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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A memoir by the influential Grammy Award-winning singer and actor - son of journalist Loudon Wainwright, former husband of Kate McGarrigle and Suzzy Roche, and father of Rufus Wainwright, Martha Wainwright, Lucy Wainwright Roche, and Lexie Kelly Wainwright - a captivating meditation on relationships and creativity from the patriarch of one of America's great musical families. With a career spanning more than four decades, Loudon Wainwright III has established himself as one of the most enduring singer-songwriters who emerged from the late '60s.
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Best ever book for listening
- By Jeff Bernhardt on 10-29-17
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If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- By: Julia Sweeney
- Narrated by: Julia Sweeney
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Since her time on Saturday Night Live, where she created the infamous androgynous character "Pat", Julia Sweeney has gone on to establish herself as a witty, captivating performer of one-woman shows, like God Said Ha!, In the Family Way, and Letting Go of God. She gave a TED talk sharing how she explained the birds and the bees to her eight-year-old daughter, Mulan, which ignited an incredible response. Now, when it comes to talking about motherhood, people want to hear what Julia has to say.
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I Love Julia Sweeney
- By Lisa on 04-05-13
By: Julia Sweeney
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The Ditchdigger's Daughters
- A Black Family's Astonishing Success Story
- By: Yvonne S. Thornton M.D., Jo Coudert
- Narrated by: Fran L. Washington
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Donald Thornton was a ditchdigger who wanted more for his six daughters. "I love you better than I love life," he assured his children. "But I'm not always gonna be around to look after you, and no man's gonna come along and offer to take care of you, because you ain't light-skinned. That's why you gotta be able to look after yourselves. And for that you gotta be smart."
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Perfection
- By Anonymous User on 06-24-24
By: Yvonne S. Thornton M.D., and others
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Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels
- By: Justin Vivian Bond
- Narrated by: Justin Vivian Bond
- Length: 2 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Recently hailed as "the greatest cabaret artist of [V's] generation" in The New Yorker, Mx. Justin Vivian Bond makes a brilliant literary debut with this staggeringly candid and hilarious novella-length memoir. With a recent diagnosis of attention deficit disorder, and news that V's first lover from childhood has been imprisoned for impersonating an undercover police officer, Bond recalls in vivid detail coming of age as a trans kid. Always haunted by the knowledge of being "different," Bond was further confused when the bully next door wanted to meet secretly. Their trysts went on for years, and made Bond acutely aware of sexual power and vulnerability. With inimitable style, Bond raises issues about LGBTQ adolescence, homophobia, parenting, and sexuality, while being utterly entertaining.
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Justin Vivian Bond Knocks It Out of the Park
- By Susie on 01-15-14
What listeners say about My Lobotomy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- noladel
- 04-28-18
Child Abuse at the Higest Level
Where does My Lobotomy rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is in the top 20.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Howard Dully, because he is the author and he was subjected to horrid treatment by his step-mother. In addition, his imbecile of a father remained indifferent to Howard's inhumane treatment and condition,
What does Johnny Heller bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
I enjoy listening to audio books, a good narrator can bring the story to life.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
It was poignant when Howard was dumped in the hospital and had to face his barbaric ordeal all alone.
Any additional comments?
Howard's step-mother made Cinderella step-mother look like Mother Theresa. In addition, Cinderella was a fairy tale, this story was real life.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Matt H.
- 02-07-19
An incredibly powerful and emotional, true story
I would recommend this book to not just those interested in the story of the infamous labotomy, but anyone who feels like they are being held back in life because they are victim of a bad past.
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- Shannon Wagner
- 04-03-15
Enlightening
A must read for anyone has compassion for the human race. Enjoyably sad, Eye opening, inspiring and very sincere memoir
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3 people found this helpful
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- Tom and Brenda’s
- 05-01-20
Long time coming for this book
I heard the NPR interview with the main person in this book Howard Dully back in 2005 or 2006. I'm not sure of the year even though Mr.Dully spelled it out but I'll never forgot the story I couldn't remember the title but I knew the subject, so I finally took the opportunity through audible and found it. I am so happy I had the chance to complete the story that has had me intrigued for so long. I feel that the issues that Mr.Dully faced and had to endure were the result of a vindictive spiteful mean spirited woman who I feel is or was a true danger to society. Howard's experiences described in this book are the kind of things that just make a person thankful that my own disfunctions were not dealt with in any manner close to trans-orbital lobotomy or institutionalizations. I consider myself lucky to have heard this story and this has also made me appreciate my own parents and life all the more. Thank you for making this surprisingly well written book which is much like a biography.
I grew up less than a mile or a few miles from 3 major psychiatric facilities on Long Island and the subject of mental illness or the treatment of such has always caught my attention. Best wishes to Mr. Howard Dully and thank you
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1 person found this helpful
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- david
- 08-30-18
amazing story of victory over challenge.
loved it narrator was so real you might have thought it was Howard himself talking. and the epilogue has a message of empowerment for all of us.
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Overall
- James Gordon
- 10-28-07
Freeman's Folly
For an hour or so, this personal tragedy irritated me and made me feel uncomfortable. However, what at first seems like dishonesty soon reveals itelf to be an entirely truthful and extremely upsetting study of ugliness not so far removed.
The author deals with questions and pain that thankfully most of us have never had to ponder. He reveals himself to be no better or worse than most of us. From his personal tragedy we can learn to be kinder, better people.
I recommend this book for anyone not afraid to plum the depths of emotion and the troubled mind.
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16 people found this helpful
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- Broken Yolks
- 01-07-08
AMAZING!
This was an engaging listen. I was caught up in the story telling and the heart strings that were tugged. How could someone do this to a child? I definitely suggest this book at ANYONE!
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6 people found this helpful
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- Mikus
- 11-08-18
wow
I'm in awe. I've been studying development for 10 years and the fact that this happened blows my mind.
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- Jennifer Chance
- 03-15-19
LOVED IT
I loved it. it was so sad to hear about all the struggles this young boy went through. The hurt and pain he went through as a man realizing that his own father didnt care what had been done to him. Just gut wrenching.
Great book! Very well written and well read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- SLemay
- 09-25-22
touching
I'm torn. I wish this story was fiction so I could love it. it's the story of a crime that was committed by an ego maniac in the name of medicine told by the man who survived it. i just wish I could give him a hug
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