I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Bailey Carr
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By:
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Marisa Crane
About this listen
Dept. of Speculation meets Black Mirror in this lyrical, speculative debut about a queer mother raising her daughter in an unjust surveillance state
In a United States not so unlike our own, the Department of Balance has adopted a radical new form of law enforcement: rather than incarceration, wrongdoers are given a second (and sometimes, third, fourth, and fifth) shadow as a reminder of their crime—and a warning to those they encounter. Within the Department, corruption and prejudice run rampant, giving rise to an underclass of so-called Shadesters who are disenfranchised, publicly shamed, and deprived of civil rights protections.
Kris is a Shadester and a new mother to a baby born with a second shadow of her own. Grieving the loss of her wife and thoroughly unprepared for the reality of raising a child alone, Kris teeters on the edge of collapse, fumbling in a daze of alcohol, shame, and self-loathing. Yet as the kid grows, Kris finds her footing, raising a child whose irrepressible spark cannot be dampened by the harsh realities of the world. She can’t forget her wife, but with time, she can make a new life for herself and the kid, supported by a community of fellow misfits who defy the Department to lift one another up in solidarity and hope.
With a first-person register reminiscent of the fierce self-disclosure of Sheila Heti and the poetic precision of Ocean Vuong, I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself is a bold debut novel that examines the long shadow of grief, the hard work of parenting, and the power of queer resistance.
©2023 Marisa Crane (P)2023 Blackstone PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
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What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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This Is Why They Hate Us
- By: Aaron H. Aceves
- Narrated by: Alejandro Ruiz
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Enrique “Quique” Luna has one goal this summer—get over his crush on Saleem Kanazi by pursuing his other romantic prospects. Never mind that he’s only out to his best friend, Fabiola. Never mind that he has absolutely zero game. And definitely forget the fact that good and kind and, not to mention, beautiful Saleem is leaving LA for the summer to meet a girl his parents are trying to set him up with. Luckily, Quique’s prospects are each intriguing in their own ways.
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Great Performance; Strange Obsession with White People
- By Legio Evocati on 02-21-23
By: Aaron H. Aceves
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Loving Day
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
- By Itinerant T on 08-26-15
By: Mat Johnson
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Falling Together
- A Novel
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Julia Gibson
- Length: 14 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
It’s been six years since Pen Calloway watched her best friends walk out of her life. And through the birth of her daughter, the death of her father, and the vicissitudes of single motherhood, she has never stopped missing them. Pen, Cat, and Will met on their first day of college and formed what seemed like a magical and lifelong bond, only to see their friendship break apart amid the realities of adulthood. When, after years of silence, Cat - the bewitching, charismatic center of their group - e-mails Pen and Will with an urgent request to meet at their college reunion, they can’t refuse.
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Narrator's breathy voice a turn off
- By Amy on 10-16-11
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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I Can Be a Better You
- By: Tarryn Fisher
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley, Lance Greenfield, Carly Robins
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
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Story
When Fig Coxbury buys a house on West Barrett Street, it's not because she likes the neighborhood, or even because she likes the house. It's because everything she desires is next door: the husband, the child, and the life that belongs to someone else.
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Brilliant- really good!
- By Candice on 06-01-18
By: Tarryn Fisher
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The Good Luck of Right Now
- By: Matthew Quick
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
For 38 years, Bartholomew Neil has lived with his mother. When she gets sick and dies, he has no idea how to be on his own. His redheaded grief counselor, Wendy, says he needs to find his flock and leave the nest. But how does a man whose whole life has been grounded in his mom, Saturday Mass, and the library learn how to fly? Bartholomew thinks he's found a clue when he discovers a "Free Tibet" letter from Richard Gere hidden in his mother's underwear drawer. In her final days, Mom called him Richard - there must be a cosmic connection.
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AMAZING
- By JoAnn on 02-17-14
By: Matthew Quick
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No Hiding in Boise
- By: Kim Hooper
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari, Stephanie Willing, Hillary Huber, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Angie is awakened by a midnight call from an officer with the Boise Police Department and thinks there must be a misunderstanding. The officer tells her that her husband was involved in a shooting at a local bar, but how can that be when her husband is sleeping right next to her? But when she turns to wake him, he isn’t there. Tessa is the 23-year-old bartender who escapes to a backroom storage closet during the shooting. When it comes to light that five people were killed, she is burdened with the question of why she survived.
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fantastic audio involving contemporary issues
- By Barbara S on 07-07-21
By: Kim Hooper
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Where They Found Her
- A Novel
- By: Kimberly McCreight
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert, Lauren Fortgang, Rachel F. Hirsch, and others
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At the end of a long winter in well-to-do Ridgedale, New Jersey, the body of an infant is discovered in the woods near the town's prestigious university campus. No one knows who the baby is or how her body ended up out there. But there is no shortage of opinions.
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Couldn't stop listening
- By Erika on 04-27-15
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Every Anxious Wave
- By: Mo Daviau
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Why would we need music if our lives were exactly as we wanted them to be? Karl Bender is a quiet guy who lives in three places: his bar, his apartment, and the cheap Mediterranean place on the corner that keeps him well fed with his daily portion of hummus and chicken shwarma. But that's all about to change. When he stumbles upon a time-traveling wormhole, Karl develops a business selling access to people who want to go back in time to hear their favorite bands.
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Frustrating
- By Brit N Jonn Designs on 03-31-16
By: Mo Daviau
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A Necessary End: A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At nineteen Leah bears a remarkable resemblance to the young woman Adrienne once was. Which is why Adrienne knows the baby Leah is carrying is meant to be hers. But Leah's got ideas of her own: Her baby's going to get a life in California; why shouldn't she? All she wants is to live in Adrienne's house for a year after the baby's born and get a fresh start. It seems like a small price for Adrienne to pay to get their baby. And with Gabe suddenly onboard, what could possibly go wrong?
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Long time audible listener.
- By Cherith DuBois on 07-11-15
By: Holly Brown
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Since she was a little girl, Hellevir has been able to raise the dead. Every creature can be saved for a price, a price demanded by the shrouded figure who rules the afterlife, who takes a little more from Hellevir with each soul she resurrects. Such a gift can rarely remain a secret. When Princess Sullivain, sole heir to the kingdom’s throne, is assassinated, the Queen summons Hellevir to demand she bring her granddaughter back to life. But once is not enough; the killers might strike again. The Princess’s death would cause a civil war, so the Queen commands that Hellevir remain by her side.
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The story was very captivating.
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Ruth’s childhood was a happy one, and her family—on her mother’s side—large and loving. But her father’s French origins have always remained a mystery. Now, with aged relatives beginning to die, Ruth decides to research her father’s family before it’s too late. When she discovers a series of long-lost cassettes, everything she thought she knew about them shatters. The tapes expose an unimaginable truth–an epic wartime story of hidden love and sacrifice, stretching back to occupied France.
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What listeners say about I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself
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- SarabethTheGreat
- 01-23-23
Beautiful but not heavy on plot
Beautiful and nuanced work filled with emotion, just not as plot driven as I was expecting. I feel like the dystopian nature of the story was such a small focus- which is fine, but it moved at a much slower clip than I anticipated. This was much more of a inner dialogue about grief and healing. If that’s what you’re looking for, this book is a great choice.
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- Rima Chaddha
- 02-08-23
Beautifully devastating
And devastatingly beautiful. Shadesters or No-Shads, society finds another way to other itself. Still, enclaves of those on the lowest rungs find a way to thrive and to love.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 06-18-24
Joyful, heartbreaking, funny, and deeply poignant
This is an outstanding novel which has left an imprint on me. I hope it reaches the masses and all can learn something personal and societal from it.
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- Robin Kay Quinn
- 06-17-23
Dystopian tale of facing dark times, while raising a child
Definitely more for the reader of dystopian novels than regular ones. I was curious to see what the author would do with her world where people are unfairly saddled with shadows that live with them and surveillance for minor offenses. Also deals with grief and finally moving on. Has SM practices in the sexuality of the lesbian main character. Interesting read.
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- Taylor Darden
- 02-20-24
WOW!
This book is so beautifully written! What an emotional rollercoaster. Definitely become one of my favorites.
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- August
- 04-14-24
An immersive inner narrative
Crane does an excellent job of creating a very intimate view of grief and resilience in queer motherhood.
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- Requiem
- 05-14-23
A must Read
Devastatingly Beautiful! The Author holds your hand as you move through grief, loss, fear, and helplessness until you can’t handle it anymore and then shows you the beauty of what people are capable of overcoming. No matter how dark things get…
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As if parenting wasn’t hard enough
Parenting through loss, grief, societal pressures, complicated relationships, constant scrutiny… beautifully written and engaging, definitely recommended!
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- Jimmyjoejangles
- 07-08-23
I think this should be labeled as erotica.
Great story!
But the sex stuff just seemed gratuitous. There's about ten to twenty minutes throughout of pretty graphic stuff that didn't add much to the narrative, I got the point after the first few minutes.
To be completely honest the most jarring point is when the narrator tenderly and lovingly uses the c word. I've never heard it used in anything but negative ways, and its not a gentle sounding word so that caught me off guard.
Its a deep and moving story that I'm glad I listened to and I think I actually got it!
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- b.dragon
- 01-30-23
Poetic and helpful!
I loved this book. You watch Kris learn to raise a child on her own in a fascist dystopian world, while dealing with grief. I love that this book is all inclusive and it just permeates love.
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4 people found this helpful