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How to Talk to a Man and Feel Heard: 9 Mistakes Women Need to Avoid
- Improve Couples Communication Skills, Reduce Conflict, Repair Your Marriage, and Create a Healthy Relationship
- Narrated by: Jennifer A. Allton
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
Real-life stories to show how communication can easily be misunderstood and simple tips to improve it.
No matter how much you and your husband or boyfriend love each other, sometimes what you say (or don’t say) and how you say it can get in the way.
This book will show you what could be problematic with your conversations that you aren’t even aware of and offer helpful tips and strategies to break old patterns and change the dynamics of how you communicate and connect as a couple.
In How to Talk to a Man and Feel Heard: 9 Mistakes Women Need to Avoid, you will discover:
- The worst mistake you can make on a first date – this may be why he never called back
- The root cause of most communication issues you two face – why it feels like you and the man you love are speaking two different languages
- An enlightened way to approach communication as a couple – how to truly understand where each of you is coming from
- How you can set your conversations up for success with this simple adjustment
- 13 sincere compliments you can say to make him feel valued and appreciated
- How you may be unknowingly undermining and insulting him, despite intending to do the opposite
- Romantic date ideas beyond dinner and a movie that will strengthen your bond and make you feel more connected to each other
- Why he just can’t seem to follow your instructions, and how you can make errands easier for both of you
- Two small words with a damaging footprint – using these words may put him on the defense and destroy your chances of being heard
Whether you’re just starting a new relationship, you’ve been married for decades, or you want tips for your next relationship, you can find techniques to fix the things in your conversation that aren’t working and enhance those that are.
Discover unexpected ways to improve your communications skills and start having new conversations in your relationship today.
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By: John Gray
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
- Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
- By: Andrew G. Marshall
- Narrated by: Andrew G. Marshall
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
- By Christopher on 05-09-19
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Joint Custody with a Jerk
- Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
- By: Judy Corcoran, Julie A. Ross, MA
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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The DNA of Relationships
- By: Dr. Gary Smalley
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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We are designed for relationships, yet they often bring us pain. In this paradigm-shifting book, Gary Smalley unravels the DNA of relationships: we are made for three great relationships, with God, others, and ourselves, and all relationships involve choice. Gary exposes a destructive relationship dance that characterizes nearly every relationship conflict, and he offers five new dance steps that will revolutionize relationships.
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Could be half as long
- By Christine on 01-06-08
By: Dr. Gary Smalley
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Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti
- Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences
- By: Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel
- Narrated by: Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Women are like spaghetti, because their thought process runs on and on in an interconnecting web, and men are like waffles because they compartmentalize and "sit" in sometimes blank boxes, just to relax.
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Good content, annoying sound
- By Amazon Customer on 09-05-17
By: Bill Farrel, and others
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Feeling Good Together
- The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work
- By: David D. Burns MD
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on 25 years of clinical experience and new, groundbreaking research involving more than 1,000 individuals, Feeling Good Together is filled with helpful examples and tools, such as the Relationship Satisfaction Test, the Blame Cost-Benefit Analysis, the Relationship Journal, Five Secrets of Effective Communication, the Intimacy Exercise, and more. Using these techniques, Dr. Burns shows you how to resolve virtually any kind of relationship conflict almost instantly.
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Best yet for communications Skills
- By Jeffrey J. Ardo on 03-20-10
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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30 Lessons for Loving
- Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together.
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Our Elders Really are the Experts!
- By Cher Finnan on 12-29-15
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate
- A Practical Guide to Happily Ever After
- By: Arielle Ford
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Internationally best-selling author and relationship expert Arielle Ford offers the keys to rediscovering love, passion, respect, and renewed commitment years after the simple act of falling in love and getting married. It's one thing to fall in love and get married. It is quite another thing to have a marriage you love. This is the true purpose of Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate.
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SO Hard To Listen To!
- By froglover on 12-03-16
By: Arielle Ford
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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Deal Breakers
- When to Work on a Relationship and When to Walk Away
- By: Dr. Bethany Marshall
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This is a book about men. Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men. The ones who make you question, "Is it him or is it me? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I try to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm overreacting or needy or it's all my fault". Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
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I Cried Thru The First Thirty Minutes...
- By Kimberley on 02-20-08
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Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
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would recommend
- By JSchnet on 11-04-24
By: Nic Saluppo
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Communication in Marriage
- How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting
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- Narrated by: Greg Zarcone
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
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Do you find it difficult communicating with your spouse? Are you tired of arguing and fighting with your spouse whenever you try to communicate? Is your spouse not talking to you anymore? You are not alone. Many couples (including us) have had to deal with these communication problems at some point in marriage, and it's not fun! But don't worry. No matter what communication problems you struggle with, you can learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse today.
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not what I expected
- By 77aniem on 12-19-17
By: Marcus Kusi, and others
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Make Him BEG for Your Attention
- 75 Communication Secrets for Captivating Men to Get the Love and Commitment You Deserve
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Men give their undivided attention to those who respect them. If a man doesn't feel respected communicating with you, he'll find the respect he needs elsewhere. The woman who knows how to communicate with men can influence the man she wants without resorting to "that mini-skirt he loves." A man craves the attention of a gracious woman who knows exactly what to say to him, when to say it, and most importantly, how to say it to get what SHE wants. Men love being gracefully influenced by the woman they adore.
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Often condescending but good points
- By HotMessBarbie on 01-03-17
By: Bruce Bryans
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The Overthinking in Relationships Fix
- Toxic Thoughts That Can Destroy Your Relationship and How to Fix Them
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If constant overthinking is turning your happy relationship into a battlefield, you're not alone. This book will be your lifeline. It dives deep into the toxic thoughts that can creep into any relationship, whispering doubts and insecurities. You'll learn how these overactive mental gymnastics can sabotage your connection and leave you feeling anxious and drained. But fear not! This guide is packed with practical strategies to help you break free from these negative thought patterns.
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Good description of a problem
- By Lara Bryant on 01-11-22
By: Rodney Noble
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Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight)
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Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
- By J Keegan on 02-07-23
By: Nic Saluppo
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Outsmart Negative Thinking
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Negative thinking—it seems to have no end. The question is, can anything be done about it? Negative thinking is a self-perpetuating mechanism. Negative thinking fuels more negative thinking, which in turn fuels even more. Around and around it goes, never losing steam or momentum. All the while, you’re utterly fatigued and exhausted. Ten years can go by, and the mind-numbing cycle still will not have stopped. Because it’s self-sustaining, negative thinking only grows stronger with each passing month, year, and decade. Can it be stopped?
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would recommend
- By JSchnet on 11-04-24
By: Nic Saluppo
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Communication in Marriage
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Do you find it difficult communicating with your spouse? Are you tired of arguing and fighting with your spouse whenever you try to communicate? Is your spouse not talking to you anymore? You are not alone. Many couples (including us) have had to deal with these communication problems at some point in marriage, and it's not fun! But don't worry. No matter what communication problems you struggle with, you can learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse today.
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not what I expected
- By 77aniem on 12-19-17
By: Marcus Kusi, and others
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Men give their undivided attention to those who respect them. If a man doesn't feel respected communicating with you, he'll find the respect he needs elsewhere. The woman who knows how to communicate with men can influence the man she wants without resorting to "that mini-skirt he loves." A man craves the attention of a gracious woman who knows exactly what to say to him, when to say it, and most importantly, how to say it to get what SHE wants. Men love being gracefully influenced by the woman they adore.
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Often condescending but good points
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Good description of a problem
- By Lara Bryant on 01-11-22
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I Hear You
- The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships
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What if making one tweak to your day-to-day conversations could immediately improve every relationship in your life? In this three-hour, conversational listen, you'll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills - validation.
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Life-Changing
- By katalley90 on 04-12-19
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Love Unfu*ked
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No matter how much advice we get or how much work we do on our “stuff,” nothing ever seems to make the difference. The truth of it is, you’re woefully ill-equipped for one of the most life-defining things you will ever take on—being in a committed relationship. Whether you’re currently in one, want to be in one, half in–half out, getting over one, married, single, separated, divorced, or just overwhelmed with the whole thing, let’s cut through the morass of relationship schtick and put you back in charge.
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A candid kick in the a$$ about your relationships
- By Tranquility38 on 01-18-22
By: Gary John Bishop
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Adult Relationship Skills
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What does it mean to be an adult in a relationship? How can you stop unproductive patterns and adopt ways of relating that bring you closer together? If you want to be an accountant, you learn the profession in school. If you want to get better at a sport, you work with a coach. If you want to be in a relationship, you . . . well, you're supposed to just jump in and give it your best shot.
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Learn to Love Yourself Again
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Does loving yourself seem unreachable? Feeling crushed by harsh self-judgments and suffocated by self-hatred? You may be surprised at how simple loving yourself again (or for the first time) can be. If you're sick and tired of the "just think positive thoughts" approach and hungry for something substantial that works long-term, you're in the right place.
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the steps to understand
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
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Texts So Good He Can't Ignore: Sassy Texting Secrets for Attracting High-Quality Men (and Keeping the One You Want)
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Did you know that men secretly use texting as a way to "pre-screen" a woman’s romantic value? A woman’s texting habits can reveal a lot about her self-worth, confidence, intelligence, and even her level of class and emotional maturity. Because guys covertly appraise a woman’s relationship potential this way, many women often have no idea that the way they communicate via text is actually sending the wrong message and thus, they unknowingly end up chasing men away.
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Love it!
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Healing Your Inner Critic
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Is the self-talk in your mind harsh? Worn out from constantly beating yourself up? Wish you could get out of your own way and live peacefully? To accomplish this, you'll need to learn to work with your inner critic instead of fighting against it. This book outlines five powerful and effective ways to heal the self-critical voice in your head so you can start living freely and joyfully.
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Amazing real life points
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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One More Try
- What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart
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- Length: 3 hrs and 25 mins
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Is your marriage worth fighting for? If so, this audiobook is for you. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to overcome skepticism and weariness, and begin the work of healing a broken marriage. But just taking a look at this audiobook shows you have the heart of a fighter. In One More Try, Gary Chapman gives you the courage and confidence to move forward when your marriage is falling apart.
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Save Your Marriage Positive Read
- By Priscilla on 07-23-15
By: Gary Chapman
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
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- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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The Art of Bringing Back the Intimacy
- Learn to Avoid the Dead Bedroom, Eliminate the Resentment, and Relight the Libido in Your Relationship
- By: Andrew Glover
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It can be hard when you are the partner with a higher sex drive. You can be left feeling rejected, unattractive, frustrated, and confused–and it’s likely your spouse doesn’t even realize you feel this way. And if you are the partner with the lower drive, you feel guilty, pressured, and frustrated, not sure how to move past this roadblock.
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Enlightening
- By Aries Johnson on 03-31-23
By: Andrew Glover
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How to Be the Girl Who Gets the Guy
- How Confident and Self-Assured Women Handle Dating with Class and Sass
- By: Leslie Braswell
- Narrated by: Brittany Goodwin
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Simple advice to help women who are stuck in relationship limbo or dealing with men who won’t commit. In this audiobook, you’ll listen to how confident, self-made, no BS kind of women handle the dating game and have the time of their life in the process. If insecurities and self-doubt bring out the worst in you, it is time retrain your way of thinking to attract love into your life. Whether going through a breakup, diving back into the dating pool, stuck in relationship limbo or trying to get your ex back after a break-up, this audiobook is for you.
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Waste of time
- By Elizabeth on 05-09-21
By: Leslie Braswell
What listeners say about How to Talk to a Man and Feel Heard: 9 Mistakes Women Need to Avoid
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Cathy Skinner
- 09-16-22
Excellent Relationship Investment !
After nearly 40 years of marriage, I can say a hardy amen to most of the information covered in this informative book. Many of my day to day interactions with my husband could be improved just by being mindful of the differences between us. I like how the author uses examples to make the differences in how we act and think so very clear and simple.
Anyone having relationship problems should definately take the time and learn what this little gem has to offer. You will benefit from this book even if you think everything is perfect in your relationship, It is quite obvious that this book was written by someone who has developed a keen insight into how men and women think and interact with one another. Well worth the read. I also apprciated the performance as the narrator kept the subject interesting.
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- Michael Joe Navarro
- 05-22-22
This book was Talking about me to my face
As a man, I agree with this book 100%. With all the women empowerment out there, you would think women would keep it simple and play their roles in a relationship. No. Women want to do their roles and the man's roles as well. This book is right, men will hear "white noise" if a woman continues to shout at them. Part of conflict resolution is not to start conflict and to respect a man's authority. This book knows the importance of allowing a man to be himself. Stubborn, rigid, and at times mean; but being the fairer sex means being the supportive, the submissive one and allowing the man to learn through experience. If a woman takes that from a man and makes him the submissive one, you get a man-child that you are going to have to drag throughout your relationship. I recommend that book to ALL women, especially in today's age. This book will teach you HOW to being a woman in a relationship.
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- T. Fisher
- 08-06-22
Whelp, I needed this for my last 3 relationships!
Listening to each of the "mistakes" chapters, I'm realizing two things; 1) I'm easily guilty of 6 out of the 9 mistakes and 2) Apparently, I'm also a man, lol! This book is showing me that I am a hybrid in my communication style, expectations and desires. I DO sometimes get annoyed when my fella isn't expressing the empathy for my situation OR the BIGGEST one, when they try to solve the problem I've laid out and all I wanted was for them to listen, grrrr! I also find that I'M sometimes the logical (vs emotional) one and get annoyed when something is crystal clear to me but he continues to rehash the situation... lol. Sue Shepard did a great job of explaining the problem, giving a relatable use case AND tips to avoid the situation in the future. I'm certainly going to re-listen to this on the drive to my next date, lol!
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- Travis Warner
- 05-20-22
Every woman needs to listen!
The author does a great job of providing advice and explaining why you should change the way you communicate. We listened together and we both had a lot of light bulb moments throughout the book. We quickly realized we were doing fundamental things in our marriage wrong. Communication is so important, and most of us have no idea how to communicate correctly. The author does a great job of not making it anyone's fault but instead providing a researched-backed solution.
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- Jill S.
- 06-06-22
Super helpful info!
Wow, this book has so many great insights for women trying to communicate with the men in their lives. We are so different in how we understand and interpret information and i found it really helpful to get the authors perspective from her years of couples’ counseling. She shares strategies for a woman to be heard more effectively and also to strengthen the bond with her partner through communication. Thank you so much!
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- alberto
- 08-23-22
ThIs is : AN IMPORTANT AND NECESSARY BOOK!
Marriage has been neglected for decades and it is necessary to be educated about the importance of trying to understand our differences in marriage and work on ways to fix it instead of destroying it. I love this book. I think most couples should buy it. Society tries hard to make you believe that marriage is a waste but this book shows you marriage is valuable and it's worth it to try the tips and advices given in it. I highly recommend this book!!!
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- Arzina Nurani
- 06-11-22
Improved Communication Skills
I really enjoyed listening to this audiobook. Not only is it helpful in improving the quality of my relationship with my partner, but with all men in my life. It has also certainly helped with my ability to communicate in a way where I now feel heard and understood in my relationship. This book will teach you how to avoid unnecessary conflict and how to resolve conflicts that arise in a constructive way. The narrator was easy to listen to and understand. A great resource.
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1 person found this helpful
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- The Curious Reader
- 05-29-22
Listening is Key
I really enjoyed listening this book. I think one of the most difficult things we can do as human beings is listen to the other person as they speak their point of view; which can become quite complicated sometimes when we have different opinions. This book really dives deep into really showing how to listen with empathy. This book showcases Great dialogue skills that we can all take advantage of and practice to have more meaningful conversations.
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- Anonymous User
- 08-23-22
Fixed a Lot of Major Problems in Our Relationship!
Communication might be the most important thing to work on in any relationship.
I purchased this for my partner, and we listened to the audiobook anytime we were in the car or traveling together. The 3.5 hours of listening to this book made a HUGE impact on our relationship.
We learned the causes behind our miscommunication and common issues, developed a deeper understanding of one another, learned how to make each other feel valued and appreciated, and discovered how to improve our connection.
No relationship is perfect, but when you learn to communicate in a healthy and productive way that your partner understands, it can positively transform your dynamic in a magical way.
Very happy we picked up this audiobook. Highly recommend for ANYONE who wants a more peaceful, loving, and less stressful relationship!
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- Kay
- 06-01-22
Easy to read
Without the understanding of how differently men and women communicate, your conversations could be needlessly turning into conflict. By avoiding the mistakes outlined in this book, you can avoid miscommunication and build connection instead. Excellent advice!
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