How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight
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Narrated by:
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Scott Coppola
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By:
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Chris Dolley
About this listen
"I lost so much weight I could float above my bed!"
—Lida Blair
The hilarious new spoof diet book from New York Times best-selling author Chris Dolley. It's a fun, quick listen, covering everything from "the science of possession" to "Crapper Clinic's Demon Dating Service", while ensuring "clients" are possessed by the demon most compatible with their slimming needs. This is the diet book that everyone is talking about.
Some of you may have read about the clinical trials undertaken by Stepford University - one of the leading universities on the PLANET, with more likes on Facebook than Harvard and six times that of Stanford!
Or maybe you watched Chelsee Chambers test the diet on Extreme Celebrity Weight Loss. Or caught the Projectile Vomiting video on YouTube.... The Possession Diet is the ONLY diet guaranteed 110% effective by the FDA (Federal Demon Association) - and it's ALMOST NEVER FATAL! Listen to the testimonials. Hear about Astral Exercising and Head Spinning. Try the recipes.... If you want to know how to lose OVER THIRTY POUNDS in ONE day (without using a chainsaw) this is the book for you!
Brick Crapper has seven doctorates, awarded by the Internet's leading universities, and is a judge on America's Idlest Loser.
©2013 Chris Dolley (P)2013 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Do you want to get rid of that unsightly belly flab, but hate sweating on treadmills or giving up chocolate cake in favor of kale? Chris Dolley has the solution: Allow demons to possess your body and do all the work for you! In his hilarious send-up of diet fads and self-help books, Dolley extols the benefits of being possessed, preaches exorcisms over exercises, and even provides handy recipes and calorie counters for would-be cannibals. In the spirit of parody, Scott Coppola performs with the over-zealousness of a late night infomercial announcer, selling listeners a ludicrous premise with abundant wit.
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Story
In What Makes Olga Run? Bruce Grierson explores what the wild success of a 94-year-old track star can tell us about how our bodies and minds age. Olga Kotelko is not your average 94-year-old. She not only looks and acts like a much younger woman, she holds over 23 world records in track and field, 17 in her current 90 to 95 category. Convinced that this remarkable woman could help unlock many of the mysteries of aging, Grierson set out to uncover what it is that's driving Olga.
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I can't stop talking about this book
- By David Shear on 05-27-14
By: Bruce Grierson
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Thinspired
- How I Lost 90 Pounds: My Plan for Lasting Weight Loss and Self-acceptance
- By: Mara Schiavocampo
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Like so many people, Mara Schiavocampo had struggled with weight for most of her life. She tried every diet on the planet, suffered a debilitating eating disorder, joined a bizarre food cult, took dangerous pills, worked out for insane amounts of time - and still tipped the scales at nearly 230 pounds. But more than reaching a healthy weight, Mara wanted peace and freedom from the constant mental torment brought on by food. A healthy and effortless way of life - for the rest of her life.
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Entertaining and Realistic
- By Carolyn M. Kell on 08-07-15
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Bare
- A 7-Week Program to Transform Your Body, Get More Energy, Feel Amazing, and Become the Bravest, Most Unstoppable Version of You
- By: Susan Hyatt
- Narrated by: Susan Hyatt
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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You are a badass whole woman with big dreams, big feelings, and big potential. What are you hiding behind that shield of overeating? Who do you want to be when you put down the shield and take on life's battles bare? This is the perfect book if you want to take excellent care of yourself, upgrade your mental and physical health, build confidence, conquer your goals, crush the patriarchy, and look and feel damn good while doing it. Bare is not a weight-loss plan. It's a life-gain plan.
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Week 1-Purged all Self-Help from my media
- By Sher on 08-07-19
By: Susan Hyatt
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The Champagne Diet
- Eat, Drink, and Celebrate Your Way to a Healthy Mind and Body!
- By: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Narrated by: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Length: 2 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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This book is for the woman who wants to feel good about herself and her body, and learn how to start incorporating healthy habits into her life. It's for the woman who doesn't want to trade in her champagne for skinny jeans. It's for the woman who is done with dieting, and ready to start paying attention to her health before that number on the scale. It's for the woman who is ready to stop letting her weight define her, and is ready to understand why it always did. This is not a diet book. This is a lifestyle guide.
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Delish!
- By Melody on 09-06-18
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Secrets from the Eating Lab
- The Science of Weight Loss, the Myth of Willpower, and Why You Should Never Diet Again
- By: Traci Mann PhD
- Narrated by: Donna Postel
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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From her office in the University of Minnesota's Health and Eating Lab, professor Traci Mann researches self-control and dieting. And what she has discovered is groundbreaking. Not only do diets not work, they often result in weight gain. Americans are losing the battle of the bulge because our bodies and brains are not hardwired to resist food - the very idea of it works against our biological imperative to survive.
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Nothing New
- By KM Land on 11-22-15
By: Traci Mann PhD
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PUSH
- 30 Days to Turbocharged Habits, a Bangin' Body, and the Life You Deserve!
- By: Chalene Johnson
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Let Chalene Johnson turbocharge your habits, your diet, and your life with the updated, enhanced edition of PUSH. With a brand new chapter, PUSH distills Charlene's hard-earned wisdom and expertise into a totally unique 30-day system that will help you reset your priorities, develop new habits, and lose weight for good.
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Love the book
- By Jessica Steele on 08-20-17
By: Chalene Johnson
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
- By: Alan Partridge
- Narrated by: Alan Partridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist, presenter, broadcaster, husband, father, vigorous all-rounder – Alan Partridge – a man with a fascinating past and an amazing future. Gregarious and popular, yet Alan’s never happier than when relaxing in his own five-bedroom, south-built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who is this mysterious enigma? Alan Gordon Partridge is the best – and best-loved – radio presenter in the region. Born into a changing world of rationing, Teddy Boys, apes in space and the launch of ITV, Alan’s broadcasting career began as chief DJ of Radio Smile....
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An Anglican giant among pygmies
- By John on 06-20-12
By: Alan Partridge
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Life on Purpose
- How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything
- By: Victor J. Strecher
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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A pioneer in the field of behavioral science delivers a groundbreaking work that shows how finding your purpose in life leads to better health and overall happiness. Your life is a boat. You need a rudder. But it doesn't matter how much wind is in your sails if you're not steering toward a harbor - an ultimate purpose in your life. While the greatest philosophers have pondered purpose for centuries, today it has been shown to have a concrete impact on our health.
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A truly life-changing book
- By Radiant Dark on 11-05-16
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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The Longevity Plan
- Seven Life-Transforming Lessons from Ancient China
- By: Dr. John Day, Jane Ann Day, Matthew LaPlante
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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At 44, acclaimed cardiologist Dr. John Day was overweight and suffered from insomnia, degenerative joint disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. On six medications and suffering constant aches, he needed to make a change. While lecturing in China, he'd heard about a remote mountainous region known as Longevity Village, a wellness Shangri-La free of disease where living past 100 was not uncommon.
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Life changing
- By Dr Mum on 09-05-17
By: Dr. John Day, and others
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The Nerdist Way
- How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)
- By: Chris Hardwick
- Narrated by: Chris Hardwick
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Nerds: Once a tormented subrace of humans... Now captains of industry! You don’t have to be a stereotypical geekwad to appreciate the tenets of Nerdism and to make your innate talents for overanalysis and hyper-self-awareness work for you instead of against you. Join Nerd superstar Chris Hardwick as he offers his fellow “creative-obsessives” the crucial information needed to come out on top in the current Nerd uprising. Success is the most satisfying - and legal - form of vengeance there is. And you can achieve it when you follow the Nerdist Way,
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I'm a disciple of The Nerdist Way!!
- By Heather on 07-02-14
By: Chris Hardwick
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The Fun Knowledge Encyclopedia
- The Crazy Stories Behind the World's Most Interesting Facts - Trivia Bill's General Knowledge, Volume 1
- By: Bill O'Neill
- Narrated by: Rob Maxwell
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you the trivia buff in your friend group? Maybe you're just always hoping to learn more random facts to keep up your sleeve. Whether you're a regular trivia fanatic or someone looking for a fun audiobook to listen to, this audiobook goes beyond the scope of general knowledge into some of the most interesting facts and intriguing trivia tidbits out there.
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this book is awesome!
- By TinkerMel on 09-27-17
By: Bill O'Neill
What listeners say about How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- boolprop333
- 05-13-20
Hilarious and has helpful information on this diet
funny and has people reviews on there experience with the diet,it also is a guide, and tells what the diet does and about the different packages,and how to find a compatible demon
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