Fat Vampire
A Never Coming of Age Story
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Narrated by:
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Kirby Heyborne
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By:
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Adam Rex
About this listen
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident... attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and 15 forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.
Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her - hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated - it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings.
Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.
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The Silent History
- By: Eli Horowitz, Matthew Derby, Kevin Moffett
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, LJ Ganser
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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It begins as a statistical oddity: a spike in children born with acute speech delays. Physically normal in every way, these children never speak and do not respond to speech; they don't learn to read, don't learn to write. As the number of cases grows to an epidemic level, theories spread. Maybe it's related to a popular antidepressant; maybe it's environmental. Or maybe these children have special skills all their own.
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A Thought-Provoking Premise
- By Doug - Audible on 03-31-15
By: Eli Horowitz, and others
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Sprout
- By: Dale Peck
- Narrated by: Ted Coluca Jr.
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Sprout Bradford has a secret. It's not what you think he'll tell you he's gay. He'll tell you about his dads drinking and his mother's death. The green fingerprints everywhere tell you when he last dyed his hair. But neither the reader nor Sprout are prepared for what happens when Sprout suddenly finds he's had a more profound effect on the lives around him than he ever thought possible. Sprout is both hilarious and gripping; a story of one boy at odds with the expected.
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Excellent Coming of Age Story
- By marie on 07-17-13
By: Dale Peck
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
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Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
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Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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Loving Day
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
- By Itinerant T on 08-26-15
By: Mat Johnson
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Vivian Apple at the End of the World
- By: Katie Coyle
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Vivian Apple never believed in the evangelical Church of America, unlike her recently devout parents. But when Vivian returns home the night after the supposed 'Rapture,' all that's left of her parents are two holes in the roof. Suddenly, she doesn't know who or what to believe. With her best friend Harp and a mysterious ally, Peter, Vivian embarks on a desperate cross-country road trip through a paranoid and panic-stricken America to find answers.
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juvenile
- By emily on 12-16-19
By: Katie Coyle
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Freeks
- A Novel
- By: Amanda Hocking
- Narrated by: Em Eldridge
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Mara has become used to the extraordinary. Roaming from place to place with Gideon Davorin's Traveling Carnival, she longs for an ordinary life where no one has the ability to levitate or predict the future. She gets her chance when the struggling sideshow sets up camp in the small town of Caudry, and she meets a gorgeous local guy named Gabe. But before long Mara realizes there's a dark presence lurking in the town that's threatening the lives of her friends.
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love!
- By Amazon Customer on 08-15-17
By: Amanda Hocking
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Borderline
- The Arcadia Project, Book 1
- By: Mishell Baker
- Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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A year ago Millie lost her legs and her filmmaking career in a failed suicide attempt. Just when she's sure the credits have rolled on her life story, she gets a second chance with the Arcadia Project: a secret organization that polices the traffic to and from a parallel reality filled with creatures straight out of myth and fairy tales. For her first assignment, Millie is tasked with tracking down a missing movie star who also happens to be a nobleman of the Seelie Court.
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It's the characters
- By Ken Schneyer on 02-11-17
By: Mishell Baker
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Weregirl
- By: C. D. Bell
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Evans
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Teammate Cynthia invites Nessa on a nighttime run through Tether's overgrown forest trails. But she speeds ahead, leaving Nessa alone to discover a trapped wolf. Nessa tries to free the animal but is badly bitten, seemingly ruining her hopes for a strong fall season. Instead, Nessa's freakishly quick recovery is followed by improved running times. All her senses are heightened. Nessa has transformed. She has become a werewolf.
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Excellent first Werewolf YA Start
- By GH on 10-26-17
By: C. D. Bell
What listeners say about Fat Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- SHMGLY
- 01-15-19
Disappointment
Hope I can trade. I don't enjoy open ended endings and the overall story was not fulfilling light the Anne Rice vampire series.
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- NanPhil
- 06-26-23
lazy author
This was a bookclub choice so I had to get through it with 4 weekly evaluations. All of us concluded that it was similar to a high school attempt by an author who had a time crunch and had only written half the book.
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- Daniel Herrera
- 05-18-19
What the hell
The ending was confusing and the whole vampire hunter thing went nowhere. It started with him already a vampire and no real back story on how it happen.
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- Westly
- 05-08-12
I had to give up...
I like coming of age stories. I also happen to like teenage vampires trying to live with their condition. This...was terrible. The reader sounded like he didn't want to be there, and, after listening to the story, yeah, I can totally understand why. Typically, I give a book halfway through it before I give up on it, but, man, this was a struggle.
The story is one of those were nothing really happens. While I enjoy Slice-of-life stores this is more of a slice-of-death, and not in the entertaining way either.
Take my advice, instead of getting this Try something like the Reformed Vampires' Support Group. At least things HAPPEN while they're busy being miserable.
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5 people found this helpful