Preview
  • F*cking History

  • 111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School
  • By: The Captain
  • Narrated by: The Captain
  • Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
  • 3.7 out of 5 stars (379 ratings)

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F*cking History

By: The Captain
Narrated by: The Captain
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Publisher's summary

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively listenable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy - like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women - from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us - so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

©2020 The Captain (P)2020 Penguin Audio
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What listeners say about F*cking History

Average customer ratings
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Badass Brain Power!

Awesomeness!!!! To The Captain! En hora buena... congrats to you on this journey and thanks for sharing your badassery with the world - Gracias 💗

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    5 out of 5 stars
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The plan yet humorous terminology used in the narration.

I learned a lot, and it felt like I was learning from a friend because of the way it was written 

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Probably a better read

The stories are great, and the underlying message is something we should all get behind. However, it was delivered like a bad Best Mans speech, with (pause for laughter) written into the notes. I would purchase the hard copy though.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great stories

Loved it. Absolutely hilarious at times. I'm glad that I listened. I have already suggested it to others.

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Because History should be fun!

I thoroughly enjoyed the humor throughout while learning strange facts that I can now share at inappropriate moments with friends and family. Thanks Captain!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

A Little Trashy.. But Worth It

Short and quick historical stories.. Great for those who like to hear some interesting stuff.. on the way to work.. NOT FOR KIDS..

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    5 out of 5 stars
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F*cking Awesome

Loved it. Educational, uplifting, and inspiring. Thank you for sharing the brilliance.

Blessings,
RhoCloRisin

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    5 out of 5 stars
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I love this book!

The Captain is fun and the book was great! I actually learned quite a bit. Thanks Captain I hope you write another.

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Best shit ever.

This book had me laughing, thinking about life and saying WTF the whole way through. I absolutely LOVED it Must read or listen to.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Funny but way way too many 4 letter words.

Making me spend my time when the review is taking up too much of my time.

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