DeadBeard: A Bearded Horror Story
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Narrated by:
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JD Kelly
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By:
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Matthew Cash
About this listen
Great Bald Eagle may sound like a really cool name for a Native American Indian, and if he had have stayed, or even grew up in the settlements of his forefathers, then things might have different. But time moved on, his forefathers spread about a bit, and eventually Great Bald Eagle was born. GBE, Jeebee, to his friends, was raised by Native Americans that were so far from their ancestry, they barely knew anything about it, apart from the fact that they used to call their kids noble heroic names such as Geronimo, and Dances With Wolves.
Jeebee came out bald, alopecia, so they thought they would give him a majestic name to help him rise heroically throughout his life. They were wrong. Ever the brunt of jokes by everyone, within Jeebee grew a hatred for hair, and the money, imagery, and importance it had gained over the millennia. People spent thousands of hours grooming, preening, washing, drying, straightening, curling. It was fine when it was mostly the ladies doing it, but when this new wave of hipster surfaced, where man would spend even longer in front of the mirror with lotions and potions, it burst something inside of that had lying dormant all his life. Jealousy. With inspiration from his ancestral blood playing a heavy part, Great Bald Eagle, Jeebee to his friends, is going to make these hairy bastards pay. The wrath of the mighty DeadBeard, is about to befall beardkind.
©2016 Matthew Cash (P)2017 Matthew CashListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Crime reporter Eve Singer's career is on the downward slope when a spate of bizarre murders - each carefully orchestrated and advertised like performance art - begin in her territory. Covering these very public crimes revives her byline, and when the killer contacts Eve to discuss her coverage of his crimes, she is suddenly on the inside of the biggest murder investigation of the decade. But as the killer becomes increasingly obsessed with her, Eve realizes there's a thin line between inside information and becoming an accomplice to murder.
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What is this
- By J.Hamp on 02-09-21
By: Belinda Bauer
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
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The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 4
- By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Rebecca Mitchell, Michael Healy, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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With tales from Laird Barron, Stephen King, John Langan, Peter Straub, and many others, and featuring Datlow’s comprehensive overview of the year in horror, now, more than ever, The Best Horror of the Year provides the petrifying horror fiction readers have come to expect - and enjoy.
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Only a few decent stories in this bunch.
- By Jerry on 12-06-14
By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, and others
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Black Marks
- By: Pete Aldin
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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No good deed goes unpunished. Detroit is a hole where even a werewolf's sins can be buried. Or so Jake Brennan hopes. Hiding from his hunters, shooting heroin to negate the effect of the full moon, he is beginning to turn things around. And the day he is witness to a brutal attack on ER doctor Gwen Cheevey, Jake is forced to transform into something new: a hero. But when a clip of his good deed goes viral, Jake's days of hiding are over. To keep Gwen safe, Jake will need to embrace the beast within.
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Black Marks Absolved
- By Spooky Mike on 05-16-18
By: Pete Aldin
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The Beast of Barcroft
- By: Bill Schweigart
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
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Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
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Resurrection Bay
- Caleb Zelic, Book 1
- By: Emma Viskic
- Narrated by: Lewis Fitzgerald
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Profoundly deaf since early childhood, Caleb has always lived on the outside - watching and picking up tell-tale signs people hide in a smile, a cough or a kiss. When a childhood friend is murdered, a sense of guilt and a determination to prove his own innocence sends Caleb on a hunt for the killer. But he can’t do it alone....
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Excellent book and great 1st book
- By William Michael Dunn on 01-27-17
By: Emma Viskic
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Forward Slash
- By: Mark Edwards, Louise Voss
- Narrated by: Jessica Ball, Ben Elliot
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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He's posted on your wall. He's following you on Twitter. He knows where you are right now.... When Amy receives an email from her older sister, Becky, announcing that she's off travelling and 'don't try to find me', she is worried. Becky would never do such a thing on a whim. Amy - who is recovering from an abusive relationship that has left her terrified of love - soon finds that Becky had started using online dating sites. Aided by Becky's neighbour, Gary, Amy sets about tracking down the men her sister had dated.
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I Wanted to Love It, but was Disappointed
- By MarisaReads on 12-31-16
By: Mark Edwards, and others
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The Necromancer's House
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Andrew Ranulf Blankenship is a handsome, stylish nonconformist with wry wit, a classic Mustang, and a massive library. He is also a recovering alcoholic and a practicing warlock, able to speak with the dead through film. His house is a maze of sorcerous booby traps and escape tunnels, as yours might be if you were sitting on a treasury of Russian magic stolen from the Soviet Union thirty years ago.
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Finally - Magic / Fantasy Novel for adults.
- By David on 04-23-14
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Double Feature
- A Novel
- By: Owen King
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Unraveling the tumultuous, decades-spanning story of the Dolan family’s friends, lovers, and adversaries, Double Feature is about letting go of everything - regret, resentment, ambition, dignity, moving pictures, the dead - and taking it again from the top. Combining propulsive storytelling and mordant wit against the backdrop of indie filmmaking, Double Feature brims with a deep understanding of the trials of ambition and art, of relationships and life, and of our attempts to survive it all.
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Worst book ever! Well maybe.
- By Randall on 08-11-17
By: Owen King
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Dark Screams
- Volume One
- By: Kelley Armstrong, Bill Pronzini, Ramsey Campbell, and others
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Weeds by Stephen King: When a meteorite lands on his property, Jordy Verrill envisions an easy payday. Unfortunately for Jordy, this is no ordinary rock - and the uncompromising force inside has found its first target.
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WISH IN ONE HAND, SPIT IN THE OTHER
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 03-14-16
By: Kelley Armstrong, and others
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The Killer Next Door
- By: Alex Marwood
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 12 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone who lives at 23 Beulah Grove has a secret. If they didn't, they wouldn't be renting rooms in a dodgy old building for cash - no credit check, no lease. It's the kind of place you end up when you you've run out of other options.The six residents mostly keep to themselves, but one unbearably hot summer night, a terrible accident pushes them into an uneasy alliance. What they don't know is that one of them is a killer. He's already chosen his next victim, and he'll do anything to protect his secret.
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Incredible--but not for the faint of heart
- By Lesley on 01-11-15
By: Alex Marwood
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The Unnoticeables: A Novel
- The Vicious Circuit, Book 1
- By: Robert Brockway
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Emily Foster, Scott Merriman
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
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Left wanting
- By Michelle L. Baron on 08-08-15
By: Robert Brockway