
Broken Bananah: Life, Love, and Sex...Without a Penis
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Ross Asdourian
-
By:
-
Ross Asdourian
About this listen
A comedic memoir about sexuality, this is a journey through severe medical trauma for anyone who's been through an accident or is currently experiencing a "break". Broken Bananah is what happens when your privates go public and you've got too much time in your own head. This is about love, life, and sex...without a penis.
Getting in cabs, going to work, taking a shower... These routine activities are a lot harder to do with a catheter in my Little Richard. Why? Well, I tore two muscles in my beloved rooster and severed my urethra having casual sex. This is the funny/not-so-funny story of the accident, the recovery, and all the blood, pain, love, and philosophy in between. A score of people helped me pee, including my mother, as I shuffled around New York City tethered to a urination tube for a month. It's a story about perspective through anecdotes like cross-dressing Halloween costumes, a teenage dowry, and a copious amount of phallic references. I guess it could always be worse. We might as well laugh while we cry, masturbate until it hurts, and realize the truth is ridiculous if we're brave enough to claim it. Hopefully you want more than this short description, but, like my sex life, I've finished before you even started.
©2018 Ross Asdourian (P)2018 Ross AsdourianListeners also enjoyed...
-
The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
-
-
Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
-
The Boys in the Boat
- Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics
- By: Daniel James Brown
- Narrated by: Edward Herrmann
- Length: 14 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The number one New York Times best-selling story about American Olympic triumph in Nazi Germany, the inspiration for the PBS documentary The Boys of '36, broadcast to coincide with the 2016 Summer Olympics and the 80th anniversary of the boys' gold medal race. Out of the depths of the Depression comes an irresistible story about beating the odds and finding hope in the most desperate of times - the improbable, intimate account of how nine working-class boys from the American West showed the world at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin what true grit really meant.
-
-
Dear Publishers of Audio Books
- By Lynn on 08-04-14
-
I'm Glad My Mom Died
- By: Jennette McCurdy
- Narrated by: Jennette McCurdy
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction." She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail.
-
-
Unexpectedly poor narration
- By Glitchzig on 08-10-22
By: Jennette McCurdy
-
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
-
-
mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
-
British Bedmate
- By: Penelope Ward, Vi Keeland
- Narrated by: Zachary Webber, Andi Arndt
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I'm writing this letter because it's highly doubtful I'll ever garner the courage to say this to your face. So, here goes. We're totally wrong for each other. You're the proper single mum with a good head on your shoulders. I'm just the carefree British doctor passing through town and temporarily living in your converted garage until I head back to England. But here's the thing... for some bloody reason, I can't stop thinking about you in very inappropriate ways.
-
-
A HEARTWARMING AND DELICIOUS ROM/COM
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 10-24-17
By: Penelope Ward, and others
-
The Game
- Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
- By: Neil Strauss
- Narrated by: Neil Strauss
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the best-selling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year.
-
-
Won't up your Game, but better than reality TV
- By David on 06-07-15
By: Neil Strauss
-
The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
-
-
Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
-
The Boys in the Boat
- Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics
- By: Daniel James Brown
- Narrated by: Edward Herrmann
- Length: 14 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The number one New York Times best-selling story about American Olympic triumph in Nazi Germany, the inspiration for the PBS documentary The Boys of '36, broadcast to coincide with the 2016 Summer Olympics and the 80th anniversary of the boys' gold medal race. Out of the depths of the Depression comes an irresistible story about beating the odds and finding hope in the most desperate of times - the improbable, intimate account of how nine working-class boys from the American West showed the world at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin what true grit really meant.
-
-
Dear Publishers of Audio Books
- By Lynn on 08-04-14
-
I'm Glad My Mom Died
- By: Jennette McCurdy
- Narrated by: Jennette McCurdy
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction." She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail.
-
-
Unexpectedly poor narration
- By Glitchzig on 08-10-22
By: Jennette McCurdy
-
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
-
-
mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
-
British Bedmate
- By: Penelope Ward, Vi Keeland
- Narrated by: Zachary Webber, Andi Arndt
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I'm writing this letter because it's highly doubtful I'll ever garner the courage to say this to your face. So, here goes. We're totally wrong for each other. You're the proper single mum with a good head on your shoulders. I'm just the carefree British doctor passing through town and temporarily living in your converted garage until I head back to England. But here's the thing... for some bloody reason, I can't stop thinking about you in very inappropriate ways.
-
-
A HEARTWARMING AND DELICIOUS ROM/COM
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 10-24-17
By: Penelope Ward, and others
-
The Game
- Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
- By: Neil Strauss
- Narrated by: Neil Strauss
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the best-selling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year.
-
-
Won't up your Game, but better than reality TV
- By David on 06-07-15
By: Neil Strauss
-
Live Wire
- Long-Winded Short Stories
- By: Kelly Ripa
- Narrated by: Kelly Ripa
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An instant New York Times bestseller from Kelly Ripa—a sharp, funny, and honest collection of real-life stories showing the many dimensions and crackling wit of the beloved daytime talk show host.
-
-
Live Wire
- By Sharyn G. Johnson on 10-09-22
By: Kelly Ripa
-
A Sucky Love Story
- Overcoming Unhappily Ever After
- By: Brittani Louise Taylor
- Narrated by: Brittani Louise Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Where does a moderately popular internet star who never leaves her house look for potential suitors? Online. Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, OkCupid - I tried them all. My 31-year-old self clicked and swiped her little heart out, leading to more dates than I could count, and more disappointment than I was prepared for. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you know all too well the perils of modern dating.
-
-
Entertaining and insightful!
- By ahealthier#life on 12-10-18
-
Try Hard
- Tales from the life of a needy overachiever
- By: Em Rusciano
- Narrated by: Em Rusciano
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Funny, feisty and fabulous, Em Rusciano's insights into her world of mayhem, marriage and motherhood are a laugh-out-loud, cry-out-loud balm for the soul. From her exploits at the Miss Sheila Fancypants School of Dance and her efforts to secure a solo at her end-of-year performance to embracing the spotlight as an Australian Idol contestant and her deep and abiding love for John Farnham, Em Rusciano is a self-confessed bottomless pit of anxiety with a taste for glitter.
-
-
You need Emelia Rusciano in your life!
- By Anonymous User on 05-27-18
By: Em Rusciano
-
You'll Grow Out of It
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In You'll Grow Out of It, Jessi Klein offers - through an incisive collection of real-life stories - a relentlessly funny yet poignant take on a variety of topics she has experienced along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man", attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" (" miss sounds like you weigh 99 pounds").
-
-
I like this woman so much!
- By Sarah F. on 07-24-16
By: Jessi Klein
-
It's Okay to Laugh (Crying Is Cool Too)
- By: Nora McInerny Purmort
- Narrated by: Nora McInerny Purmort
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twentysomething Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend and job to job. Then she met Aaron, a charismatic art director and her kindred spirit. They made mixtapes (and pancakes) into the wee hours of the morning. They finished each other's sentences. They just knew. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron's hospital bed and married after his first surgery. They had a baby when he was on chemo.
-
-
Fresh, brutally raw and honest
- By ashton on 05-31-16
-
Lady Secrets
- Real, Raw, and Ridiculous Confessions of Womanhood
- By: Keltie Knight, Jac Vanek, Becca Tobin
- Narrated by: Keltie Knight, Jac Vanek, Becca Tobin, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Every lady has a secret. A secret so humiliating, embarrassing, scandalous, or disgraceful that you haven’t told a soul—not your closest friends, family, lovers, or doctors. There is so much shame surrounding hiding secrets, and, frankly, enough is enough. The truth is, there is power and freedom in releasing those dirty little secrets out into the big, bad universe. It gives you that same sweet relief as taking off an underwire bra at the end of a long, crappy day. That’s why Keltie Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jac Vanek—hosts of the LadyGang podcast—set their secrets free.
-
-
Pass
- By Ande Scott on 03-28-24
By: Keltie Knight, and others
-
Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
-
-
Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
-
I'm Just a Person
- By: Tig Notaro
- Narrated by: Tig Notaro
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the span of four months in 2012, Tig Notaro was hospitalized for a debilitating intestinal disease called C. diff, her mother unexpectedly died, she went through a breakup, and then she was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer. Hit with this devastating barrage, Tig took her grief onstage. Days after receiving her cancer diagnosis, she broke new comedic ground, opening an unvarnished set with the words, "Good evening. Hello. I have cancer. How are you? Hi, how are you? Is everybody having a good time? I have cancer."
-
-
An Amazing and Real Story
- By Brian on 06-22-16
By: Tig Notaro
-
Cancer Schmancer
- By: Fran Drescher
- Narrated by: Fran Drescher
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Part inspirational cancer-survival story, part memoir-as-laugh-riot, Fran Drescher's new book picks up where Enter Whining left off. After her marriage ended, her TV series was cancelled, and her beloved dog died, Fran started having symptoms no doctor could adequately explain. With her trademark humor, she tells of her tireless search for answers and the cancer diagnosis that she ultimately beat.
-
-
Cancer Schmancer
- By bkitty on 04-10-04
By: Fran Drescher
-
Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
- By: Chelsea's Family Friends and Other Victims
- Narrated by: Johnny Kansas, Stephanie Stehling, Heather McDonald, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
-
-
Money Grab… Chelsea Owes Me a Credit!
- By MumsyK on 05-26-11
-
How to Get Run Over by a Truck
- A Memoir
- By: Katie McKenna
- Narrated by: Katie McKenna
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People often say, "I feel like I've been run over by a truck." Katie actually was. On a sunny morning bike ride in Brooklyn, 24-year-old Katie McKenna was forever changed when she was run over by an 18-wheeler. Being crushed under a massive semi wasn't something Katie should have survived. After 10 hours of emergency surgery, she woke to find herself in a body and a life that would never be the same.
-
-
Funny and an amazing story.
- By T. Thompson on 12-16-16
By: Katie McKenna
-
Okay Fine Whatever
- The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things
- By: Courtenay Hameister
- Narrated by: Courtenay Hameister
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home. Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her - things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope."
-
-
Ugh...
- By Greg on 04-05-19
What listeners say about Broken Bananah: Life, Love, and Sex...Without a Penis
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 04-18-18
A Must- Listen
Any additional comments?
The book touches on the uncomfortable truth we call life. The author’s traumatic story exposes the hardships of love, vulnerability, fear, and intimacy of oneself through an honest comedic fashion. If you look beyond the painstaking hilarity that comes with the thought of a guy breaking his dick while having sex, you will see the rawness this book displays. The author exposes the fear of losing an essential part of our lives - sex, love and intimacy; the lesson of how to rise after we have fallen; personal steps both emotionally and physically that we must face in order to heal; and the interplay of relationships and lessons learned from each - society, friendship, family, lovers, and the unforgettable people that help put us back together. This book highlighted just how human we are. I’m glad I listened to this book on audible straight from the author’s mouth. The book reminded me that I still have a few things to learn and I’m sure glad I didn’t have to break my vagina for that reminder.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- LJ
- 05-02-20
What We All Need Right Now
This book was such a breath of fresh air. Not only was this horrible incident portrayed hilariously, but the stories involved in and around it blended in perfectly. Highly recommend for a great laugh, some what not-to-do’s and a reminder that maybe our lives aren’t so bad.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 12-31-18
And there ya go!
I enjoyed the story as well as learned how delicate the penis is, my second favoeite organ! Well done!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!