Humor Funny

A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.

Get ready for a wild ride with Rosie Brown, the sassy sixty-something determined to show the world that age is just a number. Her mission to take control of her life begins when she gets out of bed and realises that every part of her is starting to creak. All she's done is lie down for eight hours, but she has the sort of neck pain that a younger person would associate with severe whiplash from a multi-car pile-up. There are so many clicks and clacks from her creaking joints it sounds like someone’s knitting next to her as she walks. Serenaded by knitting needles when she used to be ...

Amelia Bedelia is the world's most literal-minded housekeeper, who causes quite a ruckus whenever she's given a chance. In "Amelia Bedelia and the Surprise Shower", she arrives with a garden hose and the party is turned into an uproarious mess. In "Play Ball, Amelia Bedelia", her literal-mindedness adds a new dimension to the game of baseball, and "Thank You, Amelia Bedelia" features Amelia Bedelia "pairing" the vegetables and separating the eggs.

Can her magic save the world—before his curse destroys it?Shy, awkward Dru never believed she had what it takes to be a true sorceress. That's why she’s been running a little crystal shop on the rough side of Denver, selling potions and charms to the larger-than-life spellcasters who defend the world against the forces of darkness. But when she accidentally touches hands with a dangerously handsome stranger, sparks fly — literally — and he supercharges her crystal magic powers. Ironically, Greyson doesn’t know a thing about magic. But his screaming-fast muscle car is possessed by ...

A collection of hilarious original audio stories for raising lots of laughs and giggles. These new stories are especially written for families to listen to, publishing to coincide with April Fool's Day! With more than an hour of audio, this edition is filled with funny and engaging sound effects, guaranteed to raise laughs from little listeners everywhere. This audiobook is aimed at children aged four and over, for family listening and learning and development for young minds.

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming, and he needed to use the restroom. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go take a leak?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough," Jesus shrugged. So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to a ...

When Tyler Merritt was diagnosed with cancer, everything he thought he knew about what mattered in life changed. This Changes Everything is a humorous and optimistic love letter to this beautiful life. Though he made it through a highly invasive surgery and thought he was in the clear, Tyler soon realized that the cancer had other plans. It wasn’t a question of if the tumor would come back for an encore, his doctors told him. It was a question of when.

From FDR to Harry Truman to JFK to George W. Bush, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House captures the wit and humor of the campaign trail - a place where levity is always welcome. Osgood includes fragments of speeches, interviews, and press conferences, as well as articles written by and about the candidates - no source is left untapped.

In the hills of Appalachia, humor and wisdom are mixed up forever in funny, wise stories that seem to grow more lustrous with each telling. Here are two of the best: "Uncle Frank Invents the Electron Microphone", Appalachian folk wisdom rolled into one of Davis' funniest stories; "Uncle Frank and the Crown Feed Boys", Davis' legendary Uncle Frank teaches a couple of traveling salesmen the lesson of their lives.

Since we first met Nikki Maxwell, she's been doing everything she can to keep everyone at school from learning the truth - that she's there on scholarship in exchange for her dad working as the school's exterminator. The last thing Nikki needs is having her friends and - worst case scenario - her crush, Brandon, associating her with the humongous roach on top of her dad's van!

Join an epic intergalactic Among Us adventure with Valiant the Grumpy Impostor, his partner Candice… and Santa himself! 🚀 Human, this is the diary of Valiant, an Among Us impostor who’s realized that sabotaging crewmates isn’t his thing. Instead, he’s found his calling piloting a spaceship to explore the universe. However, during his second intergalactic journey, he and his partner Candice crash into Santa’s ship and find themselves stranded on his planet. They soon discover that Santa is almost as grumpy as Valiant. In fact, in a fit of rage, Santa has exiled all his helpers ...

A follow-up to the New York Times best-selling The New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to health care, from Republican agendas to celebrity meltdowns, with all the razor-sharp insight that has made Bill Maher one of the most influential comedic voices shaping the political debate today.

Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.

It’s the biggest dance of the year and Nikki Maxwell is hoping her crush, Brandon, wants to be her date. But time is running out. What if he doesn’t ask her? Or worse…what if he asks Mackenzie?!!

I'm Kat Smith, former Secret Service, current postmaster, and awkward private eye in Ohia, Maui. I'm currently searching for a valuable, historical Hawaiian Christmas ornament gone missing, and I’m the six-foot-something center of controversy as our cozy small-town island mystery swirls with gossip, accusations, old feuds, and new friendships. I have my hot pilot boyfriend Mr. K, the Red Hat Society, and my beloved one-eared cat Tiki on the case—but I’m going to need all the help I can get to find the Queen's Ornament, or the fundraiser organized by my very own Aunt Fae will be a bust...

Stephanie Plum is thinking her career as a fugitive apprehension agent has run its course. She's been shot at, spat at, cussed at, fire-bombed, mooned, and attacked by dogs. Time for a change, Stephanie thinks. Time to find the kind of job her mother can tell her friends about without making the sign of the cross. So Stephanie Plum quits. Resigns. No looking back. No changing her mind. She wants something safe and normal. As it turns out, jobs that are safe and normal for most people aren't necessarily safe and normal for Stephanie Plum.

Nikki’s juggling a lot this month. A reality TV crew is following Nikki and her friends as they record their hit song together, plus there are voice lessons, dance practice, and little sister Brianna’s latest wacky hijinks. Nikki’s sure she can handle everything, but will all the excitement cause new problems for Nikki and Brandon, now that cameras are everywhere Nikki goes?

In Finding Your Funny Muscle, Mike shows you how to “flex” your ideas into funny, original, and relatable humor that gets big laughs—and makes you memorable for the right reasons.

Here is the second edition, revised and expaned due to great demand from readers of other volumes of Jokes by us. Are you fed up of reading the same old tired jokes? One-liners that bore you to death? Then here is a set of jokes that are fresh and hilarious. We have tried to avoid one-liners and present only substantial jokes that makes one to laugh. They are also good to illustrate a point in public speeches and classroom situations. Here are a few salient points: *** We have tried to select jokes that are mostly uncommon *** We have evaluated each joke by narrating it to our friends *** ...

How do you take on the most powerful organization of the supernatural world? One death at a time. A thousand years in the making, the Council finally has created their strongest weapon. What they didn’t expect was for her to target them. Forged by the pits of the underworld, Brooklyn plays her part all too well until the assassination of her friend. It was meant to send Brooklyn a message. What it did instead was unleash an uncontrolled rage that threatens the Council’s very existence. Each target tips the moral compass and realigns who is friend and who is foe. Unified by necessity, ...