Funny Fiction Fantasy

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

A Pi/Sci-Fi/Comedy/Thriller introducing Philip Humphrey Chandler as the socially inept hero who likes beer, coffee and breasts - but not necessarily in that order. Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle the perp to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. ...

Kevin Austin has no plans of staying in the strange mountain town of Eden when he ends up becoming the new librarian after the previous one is murdered. He soon realizes this is no ordinary library. The books actually talk and fly around the rooms, and there's a ghost haunting the premises. Not to mention a collection of dangerous magical artifacts in the basement. In the town of Eden, Kevin encounters witches, zombies, demons, talking crows, angels, even gods and goddesses. Everyone in town seems to have secrets, including the alluring Olive, who Kevin falls for in book 1.

A clueless daughter. An unhinged fae vampire. Can this genie resist the wish to flee midlife before she's retired from the land of the living? Ginny just wants some peace. But the beleaguered 40+ divorced genie faces the arduous test of preparing her oblivious daughter to gain the genie crown to prevent them from being hurled into a doom-filled destiny. All while battling an ancient fae vampire hell-bent on turning her life into a terminal tornado of turmoil. But when the earth-shattering secrets of her friends-turned-family start to unravel, they threaten not only Ginny's last nerve but ...

Alba is about to lose everything during an awful divorce...until she meets the Vampires of Emberbury, who dwell under an abandoned graveyard, stuck in Victorian times. They will make her a very interesting job offer, and she will get to meet Clarence, a mysterious vampire gentleman who thinks cloaks and top hats are still in fashion. With his help, Alba will figure out that, sometimes, the scariest monster isn’t the one with fangs.

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

"Between the pages of this book lies the secret to the best-tasting chocolate in all the world. I promise, your taste buds will tingle. Your palette will sing! Oh no, have I accidentally tempted you to read this book? I will warn you, however, the most delicious things are never good for you...and this story is particularly scrumptious!"

When the Supreme Being and his son decide that being supreme isn't for them anymore, it's inevitable that things get a bit of a shake-up. It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take good and evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.

Sarah was just trying to stop her dungeon from collapsing. Now she’s rewriting reality. What began as a bureaucratic headache has exploded into metaphysical mayhem. As a hybrid dungeon core with a snark problem and too much cosmic power, Sarah is evolving into something no one—kingdoms, liches, or the laws of magic—can define. The magical Compact is cracking. Archives are collapsing. And the Lich Lord Kravix? He’s one ritual away from turning the world into his ascension playground. Armed with a crumbling dungeon, glitchy golden glyphs, and a desperate need for five minutes of peace...

Sinister marauders. A grief-stricken sea monster. And a magical midlife destiny hurtling into chaos. Ginny Smyth's so-called idyllic new life keeps throwing chaotic curveballs. The fraught forty-one-year-old genie tasked with safeguarding menacing magical artefacts she thought she'd seen it all—until nightmare-inducing beasts pushed the threat to terrifying new heights. And when a new friend’s fate teeters on a knife's edge, she scrambles to act fast before the blade falls, leaving nothing but devastation. With danger lurking at every turn, Ginny leans more heavily on her hot dragon-...

Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant...and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.

Praise for Alice Crowley's writing: "I LOVED THE IMAGINATION OF THIS AUTHOR!" ~Satisfied Kindle Reader "FIVE STARS!" ~ Multiple Fans "Alice Crowley is one of our best living authors!" ~ G. Taylor Ciedre is just a young professional woman in the big city when she meets the hunk of her life named Shane, who rescues her from a gang of vampire aliens who are hell-bent on harvesting the blood of all earthlings. And to the victors go the spoils. After Shane saves the day, Ciedre demands he show her the ancient art of the erotic fist. And this mutant's fists are bigger than any mortal male's...

A handsome and brave though dull-witted barbarian, Yor the Mighty enjoys the solitary life of a wandering adventurer, his only focus to fight and feast while seeking the company of lots of plump womens . . . until one fateful day he chances upon a dangerous quest that earns him two unlikely companions as they cross paths with an evil fiend awaiting them in the local dungeon. 16,000 word short story novella fantasy / comedy / adventure anti-woke content tropes abound

🌲💖 Love is wild… literally! Bigfoot in Love is a whimsical, mysterious, and heartwarming collection of short stories where romance meets the unknown! From gentle Sasquatches watching from the shadows to unexpected forest encounters, these tales will make you laugh, swoon, and maybe even believe in love beyond the ordinary! 🌿 Inside, you'll find: 🦶 A lonely cryptid finding his perfect match 🌕 A woman drawn to the deep woods… and something watching her 💌 Secret letters exchanged between a human and a hidden admirer 🔥 A hunter who becomes the hunted… by love! ✨ ...

Magic can solve all your problems. At least, that’s what Ruby would have said a year ago, before she learned she was a witch. Now, all magic does is create more problems. There’s a giant tear in the fabric between the non-magical world Ruby lives in and the magical one her boyfriend is from. Every time Ruby uses her powers, the tear grows larger. The only way to stop the magical world from swallowing up Ruby’s home is to journey into the unknown forests of the other realm that contain frightening creatures such as acid frogs, poison moths, and banshees that terrify you at night. And ...

Almost one year ago, Alice TodHunter Moon left her PathFinder village to become Apprentice to ExtraOrdinary Wizard Septimus Heap. Now, in faraway lands, the Castle is in peril. The brilliant blue stone is crumbling to dust, and both the witch Marisa and the wicked Red Queen have their eyes on the throne. But as Tod sets off on a hazardous journey to find a new Keystone, her life may be in the greatest danger of all. Can she save the Castle while evading the fate that befell her mother?

Banished to the edge of the supernatural world and left to die. A hero rises. Hell’s savior. Its one great hope. Yep, that’s me. I fought back against Beelzebub, stood in the face of tyranny, and even stopped murder and mayhem. No good deeds go unpunished. Immortal no longer, I’m in a fight for my life, and Hell’s leaders have handed the cheat codes to my enemies. Beelzebub wants to get even. And my magical halberd still refuses to grant me the power I’ll need to win the day. Decision time. Lie down and accept my fate, or punch death in the face? Libra is the key. He’s mapped ...

Imagine if you could grow dragons...in your very own garden! When Tomas discovers a strange old tree at the bottom of his grandad's garden, he doesn't think much of it. But he takes the funny fruit from the tree back into the house - and gets the shock and delight of his life when a tiny dragon hatches! The tree is a dragonfruit tree, and Tomas has got his very own dragon, Flicker....

In a realm where betrayal burns hotter than Hellfire, choosing the wrong ally might cost more than your soul. The Underworld is fracturing. Demons vanish without a trace. Founders build armies in the shadows. And Ezekial Sunstone—demon without magic but heir to Lucifer's throne—stands at the center of the coming storm. When a trusted ally betrays those Zeke cares most about, friends become prisoners and mentors become martyrs. Now, with a mysterious entity called "One" whispering riddles in his mind and the Hellfire refusing his command, Zeke must forge impossible alliances with angels,...

Lucky in cards, unlucky in love? At this point, Isabella thinks she’d make a fortune if she hit up a casino. Instead, Chief Dobbins insists she work with Palmer on his latest case. Jameson can’t detect any magic at the crime scene, so is the chief trying to play Cupid? More importantly, will it work? When the fraternity makes their final play at Proctor House, everyone is called into action, even long-lost family members. Hosta la Vista is the exciting conclusion to the Isabella Proctor cozy paranormal mystery series – get it today!