Dragon Fantasy Humor

I never thought I would date a dragon, or feed him chicken strips late at night, but life has gotten interesting. My steady dragon - you may know him as Lord Zavryd’nokquetal, but I get to call him Zav - is offering to take me to the elven homeland to meet my father and learn to harness the magic in my blood. Sure, I’m wary about his plans to force the elves to train me, but I need every advantage I can get. Especially when vampire attacks start cropping up all over Seattle, and my friend and business partner, Dimitri, disappears.

It was supposed to be another boring day at the insurance office for Rico Kline, but powerful forces had other plans for him. Finding himself repeatedly summoned to other worlds as a disposable minion, Rico must face deadly foes, disarm insidious traps, become a test subject, and run the occasional errand for his various summoners. At least when each summoning is over, he’s rewarded and sent back home. But being back home has its own set of problems, and he'll need to grow stronger to face it all.

Ten years ago, Lang chose his family, his lineage and his bloodline over his heart. Not a day has gone by since that he hasn’t regretted it. Now it’s time to put the past in the past and claim his mate. This time, Lang will let nothing get in his way. A decade ago, Muddy watched, horrified, as the man who stole her virginity and her heart chose another woman. Now, he thinks he can come waltzing back into her life? No effin’ way. NOTE: In the late 1800s, on a homestead in New Mexico, Helen Cartwright was widowed under mysterious circumstances. Knowing there was power in the feminine ...

Bestselling author Candace Ayers brings you SHORT "lunchtime quickie" reads—condensed romances intended to be read in under two hours! Dragon scales and bridal veils—billionaire shifters find their fiery mates! I’m not a fan of humans. As a major player in Big Pharma, I’ve encountered my share of swindlers, embezzlers and heartless sociopaths. I don’t expect my new wife to be any different, but duty calls. Imagine my surprise when I’m instantly smitten. But my trust issues run deep. And when I catch her in a lie, I'm determined to uncover the truth. What I find changes ...

THE JEWEL THIEF Daya Krane can’t keep her hands to herself. When diamonds are involved, that is. She’s a jewel thief caught stealing from the mob. With a hitman out to get her and the cops on her tail, a mysterious escape route seems heaven-sent… Until she winds up in the Realm of Fire. A deranged immortal has summoned Daya to swipe a super-rare red diamond that bestows unlimited power. It’s an offer the klepto can’t refuse, especially since her other option is death. THE DRAGON KING Arken Imyr has had his keep infiltrated by a gutsy mortal who wants to steal a treasure he’s ...

Somewhere faraway, the universe is in peril. But on Earth, Alan is minding his own business after a boring double-shift at the pawn shop… until he’s assaulted by a screaming archer who turns out to be a good shot. Alan awakes in Strangey Town, a zany nightmarish jungle of ideas run by a horrid deity. Things get even stranger when a clairvoyant frog confirms Alan has an affinity for magic, and that his powers are far from ordinary. He can convene with gods, bargain for souls, and tap into every known magic the universe has to offer. It's unheard of!

Gork isn't like the other dragons at WarWings Military Academy. He has a gigantic heart, two-inch horns, and an occasional problem with fainting. His nickname is Weak Sauce, and his Will to Power ranking is Snacklicious - the lowest in his class. But he is determined not to let any of this hold him back as he embarks on the most important mission of his life: Tonight, on the eve of his high school graduation, he must ask a female dragon to be his queen. If she says yes, they'll go off to conquer a foreign planet together. If she says no, Gork becomes a slave.

The annual Pigsend Harvest Festival is coming up quick, and Bev's been assigned to the planning committee against her will. But Ida Witzel, the festival chair, wants no mishaps this year, and she knows if Bev's involved, the hijinks will be at a minimum. That is, until farmer Trent Scrawl isn't seen for a few days, and on a wellness visit, Bev finds him dead.

After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie - three lowly apprentices - decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest! So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for.

In the days of yore, he flew the skies and scorched angry mobs - now he hides from swamp tour boats and rises only with the greatest reluctance from his La-Z-Boy recliner. Laying low in the bayou, this once-magnificent fire breather has been reduced to lighting Marlboros with nose sparks, swilling Absolut in a Flashdance T-shirt, and binging Netflix in a fishing shack. For centuries, he struck fear in hearts far and wide as Wyvern, Lord Highfire of the Highfire Eyrie - now he goes by Vern.

I’m Val Thorvald, tough butt-kicking assassin and soon-to-be wife of Lord Zavryd'nokquetal. He’s a dragon from another world, and he’s haughty, arrogant, and has horrible taste in footwear, but I love him. Our wedding is going to be amazing. At least I’d like to think so. But when the coffee shop I’m a co-owner of gets bombed, our youngest employee goes missing, and the entire elven family I didn’t know I had shows up for a visit, my wedding preparations take an alarming turn. What could possibly go wrong?

Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.

I want to live my life in peace for a little while as opposed to pieces. I don’t know who I have to bribe to catch a break, but I’m willing to pay the big bucks. Apparently, no one got the memo. Midlife is one messy ride. Fine. I’m off to Lexington, Kentucky to find a self-proclaimed dragon who sports a mullet, beer belly and delusions of Immortal grandeur. This time he’s gone too far. He’s messed with me and mine for the last time. The way to end a dragon is to remove his tail. We thought we had. A tail is in the back. Right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

When the apocalypse comes, a mysterious entity grants Theo Spencer the gift of reincarnation. The gift of a quiet life as an alchemist. He awakens in a small town in the southern reaches of a small kingdom in a non-human body. Broken Tusk doesn't seem like much, but his legendary alchemy skills will soon turn their fortune.

It's not easy to live in a world ruled by dragons. The taxes are high, and their control is complete. But for one group of bold misfits, it's time to band together and steal back some of that wealth. No one said they were smart.

Dirk was America’s golden boy. Olympic golds, Wheaties box—the works. That was ten years ago. Turns out going to prison is terrible for sponsorships. Now, he’s alone, a felony on his record, and bitter at the world. Enter the Tower of Conflict. Just what a man needs to get out of a rut—the end of the world and a Tower to Climb. Aided by his talking goose animal companion, magical cape, and the Goddess of Fate herself, Dirk is primed to take this Tower by storm.

Arrietty in Underland, A Warped Alice in Wonderland Reimagining. First book in a new standalone series in the Darkly Sweet world! Arrietty Lovecraft, Penny’s hacker, put all her unhealthy and unethical adventures behind her and is a quiet potions witch in Darkside until a killer with her face, her tech, and her genetics frames her for a murder and a kidnapping. The Dragonlord of Death comes with a deal, and while Arrietty knows better than to make a deal with death or a dragon, someone has to rescue her good friend from the Spider of Underland before she becomes another mad inhabitant of ...

Bestselling author Candace Ayers brings you SHORT "lunchtime quickie" reads—condensed romances intended to be read in under two hours! Dragon scales and bridal veils—billionaire shifters find their fiery mates! I’m dubbed the king of couture—a title well-earned. So when an upstart designer slings mud at my fashion house, I hit back. Hard. But when I catch sight of my bride-to-be sashaying down the aisle, My angel in white with turns out to be the she-devil herself. With “I do’s” exchanged through gritted teeth, The honeymoon is sure to be a hot one… Scalding passion or ...

A retired group of legendary mercenaries get the band back together for one last impossible mission in this award-winning debut epic fantasy. Kings of the Wyld: Booktrack Edition adds an immersive musical soundtrack to your audiobook listening experience!

Important - This is book 3 in a series. You are advised the read the first 2 books before this one. A lost banshee found sitting in the rain at a South London bus stop by the twin children of John Berwick, the Irrelevant One and Gesh, the Drunken Weed starts another adventure involving a visit to a magical world where our heroes are joined by a wingless fairy amongst others, plus a visit to William Shakespeare, a period as marriage guidence councillors, a new church worshipping a recycle bag, a battle against a genie and dragons. A humorous ramble through fantasy, mythology, romance and ...