Listen up, besties—Simone and Hilary are back for another episode of Super Definitely Not Problematic, where we ask the hard-hitting questions, expose flawed designs (both cosmic and anatomical), and fight for justice where it matters (like friendship monogamy and proper animal naming conventions).

First up: 69s. Let’s be honest, this position is for no one. Who designed it? (Men) Who benefits? (Men) Why does it feel like a poorly planned IKEA bunk bed of disappointment? (And once again… men) We break down why this so-called sexy number is a logistical nightmare and why we, as a society, need to retire it.

Then, naturally, we pivot to Zodiac signs, because nothing says nuanced debate like deciding someone’s entire personality based on their birth month and what time they were born. Are Geminis really the villains? Are Leos just walking personal brands? Are Pisces okay?? (No.) Simone and Hilary weigh in with scientific (vibes-based) analysis.

Speaking of things that keep us up at night: Do birds breastfeed? Like, technically, they don’t have nipples… but then HOW do baby birds eat?? What is crop milk?? Are pigeons secretly out here producing dairy?? So many questions, so little biology knowledge. Find out about this and more in a rousing game of 2 truths and a lie.

Next, an important linguistic fight: Is the plural of platypus “platypuses” or should we, as a culture, lean into “platypussies”?? We vote the latter, for obvious reasons. Say it out loud. It’s fun.

Finally, the case for monogamous friendship. In a world of messy group dynamics and backstabbing brunch squads, Hilary and Simone have cracked the code: one bestie, for life. No hierarchy. No drama. Just one unshakable, ride-or-die, tell-you-when-your-makeup-is-bad and pee-in-the-same-port-a-potty type of friendship. Because while relationships come and go, a bestie who knows all your cringiest moments and still sticks around? That’s forever.

So grab your emotional support beverage, settle in for some chaotic but necessary discussions, and let’s get into it.

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Podcast Host Hilary MacMillan, and Simone Lee Hamilton