Lying is such an interesting topic—and after working with many women who feel stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, I’ve learned that lying and truth-telling are far more complex than they may seem. I’m not talking about lies meant to cause harm, but the everyday ones we tell to keep ourselves safe and comfortable: saying we’re fine when we’re not, or yes when we mean no. In this interactive episode, I’m introducing the framework I’ll be using to explore this topic and offering reflections to help you understand your patterns around people-pleasing and lying. Here’s what I cover:

• Why lying is not a character flaw of people-pleasers, but a survival strategy
• How childhood experiences influence our beliefs and behaviors around truth
• How lying creates a disconnect in our relationships—with ourselves and others
• Why telling the truth requires internal safety and nervous system regulation
• Reflection questions to help you notice why you may choose to lie in certain situations

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Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

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https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

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Today, I’m back with part two of my conversation with Enneagram coach Wendy Montgomery. In part one, we explored the nine Enneagram types and how people-pleasing can show up for each one. Now, we’re diving into what healing these habits looks like for each type and how the Enneagram can act as a guide for transformation. Here’s what we cover:

• Why self-awareness is key to reducing people-pleasing tendencies
• A type-by-type analysis of how the shift away from people pleasing can happen
• Why healing is a journey, not an arrival–even with the help of the Enneagram
• How to offer yourself grace and compassion when overcoming people-pleasing
• A healing message for each Enneagram type

Find Wendy here:

https://www.wendymontgomery.com/

https://www.instagram.com/wendymontcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/people/Wendy-Montgomery-Coaching/

Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Book a Free Consult

I have been so excited to have my dear friend and Enneagram coach, Wendy Montgomery, on the podcast. The Enneagram is an expansive and incredible tool that has helped me understand myself and those around me in a whole new way. In this two-part conversation, you’ll learn about all nine types and the insight they offer into why and how we people-please. Here’s what we cover:

• The characteristics, core motivator, and core fear of each Enneagram type
• Why understanding your Enneagram type can help lessen people-pleasing tendencies
• How the Enneagram triads offer further insight into your type
• The unique ways people-pleasing shows up for every type
• A question for each type to ask themselves to gain more self-awareness
• How gender stereotypes can impact Enneagram analysis

Find Wendy here:

https://www.wendymontgomery.com/

https://www.instagram.com/wendymontcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/people/Wendy-Montgomery-Coaching/

Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Book a Free Consult

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Many women who struggle with people-pleasing often blame themselves, but these habits are usually rooted in deeper issues that are beyond our control. There can be various underlying causes, but in this episode, I share how my personal experiences with bullying have influenced my people-pleasing tendencies. If recalling your own experiences of being bullied brings up strong emotions--it’s okay to skip this episode if it feels too tender. But if you’re ready, I invite you to explore how these early wounds may have influenced your people-pleasing—and how healing starts with self-compassion, not self-criticism. Here’s what I cover:

• An overview of the four nervous system responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
• A deep dive into the “fawn” nervous system response and how it connects bullying to people-pleasing
• How bullying-related shame impacts our sense of worthiness
• A visualization exercise that uses arts work to help you heal your inner child
• Why being attuned to others’ needs might actually be a trauma response
• A compassionate question to ask yourself that will reveal the beliefs you formed about safety and belonging

Dr. Ramani Clip: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHL5jFLMbE2/?hl=en

Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Book a Free Consult

Send us a text

You may remember my conversation with therapist Andrea Parks about the drama triangle and how we can shift out of harmful roles in our relationships. But once we escape the drama, how do we build the deep, connected relationships we crave? In this episode, Andrea introduces the intimacy triangle and we dive into how authenticity, openness, and responsiveness create true closeness. Here's what we cover:

• The role that vulnerability plays in intimate relationships
• How to strengthen the three components necessary for intimacy in your relationships
• Why it’s often difficult to develop the three components of intimacy in high-demand religions or family systems
• Examples of how openness increases intimacy in all relationships
• Why responsiveness is often transactional or conditional in an unhealthy system

I can’t wait for you to listen.

By training and profession Andrea is a therapist and facilitator. She is in private practice and the owner of Bloom Healing. She has a degree in Child Development and a Masters degree in Counseling psychology. She has training and experience in psychodrama, attachment, somatic bodywork, developmental trauma, grief and life transitions. Alongside her work as a trauma therapist she specializes in group therapy and loves creating spaces where individuals with diverse backgrounds can come together in community and heal. By choice and good fortune she is the mother to three children and honored to be partnered with Shawn, her closest friend and companion in life. In her free time she is a seeker of poetry, wild things, beauty and friendship.

Find Andrea here:

http://bloomhealingaz.com/

Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Book a Free Consult